I'll leave it to the ladies to explain the best way to go about it, but make sure you do tell him soon. Trust is VERY important in any relationship. If you don't have his trust now, you sure won't have it later.



I'll leave it to the ladies to explain the best way to go about it, but make sure you do tell him soon. Trust is VERY important in any relationship. If you don't have his trust now, you sure won't have it later.
HeroesWe all imagine ourselves the agents of our destiny, capable of determining our own fate. But have we truly any choice in when we rise, or when we fall, or does a force larger than ourselves bid us our direction. Is it evolution that takes us by the hand, does Science point our way, or is it God who intervenes keeping us safe.
So much struggle for meaning, for purpose. And in the end, we find it only in each other. Our shared experience of the fantastic. And the mundane. The simple human need to find a kindred, to connect. And to know in our hearts... that we are not alone.



pryce is right sweetie...ans 6 months is a long time to not tell someone something this important.....how would he feel about it? have u been to a club together?..have u thought about how he will take it and if it is the end of your relationship? how will u handle it?..would u rather dance than have him? how much is it worth to you?
blessed be
hun not only should you make sure you trust him enough to tell him, but make sure you arent getting into dancing for the wrong reason. Saying its your dream to dance may be true, but it may also be something you want to do because of the hype.
Whatever it is, goodluck and make sure you make the right decision. GOOD LUCK :-)
This may or not be true in your situation, but it was in mine. I made a choice, my job..To support my daughter and pets, home automobiles and myself.
My life, like your own has got to come first. I don't mean this in a selfish way. But if you can't take care of yourself, how can you take care of any other part of your life. You have got to come first. Sometimes it means hurting the ones we love. Don't hide it, or lie.
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1. Ask yourself which means more to you: Him, or stripping? Because if he blows a fuse, life will be a little easier if you already have a clear sense of your priorities and long-term goals in life. Not to discourage you, but consider that stripping is a job that's just as shitty as it is cool, that will destroy a lot of your faith in human beings (especially men) while allowing you to party your ass off, and that you will most likely be unable to parlay into a life-long career even though you can make much moolah in the short run. The right man, on the other hand, will be your best friend, an be there by your side, through thick and thin, for the rest of your (or his) life. That's a very hard thing to come by, indeed, and more so when you are stripping.
2. Ask yourself why you would feel the need to go behind your man's back. If you are that scared of him, then you are in a bad relationship and need to get out. If you are that worried about what he thinks over your own thoughts, then get thee to a therapist or relationship counselor. If you think it is the best way to guarantee getting what you want, then he's in a bad relationship and needs to get out.
3. The longer you wait to tell him, the longer it will be before you can regain his trust. If you ever manage to at all. And trust me, you won't be able to hide it for very long between the money, the bruises, the long hours away from home, the extra makeup and perfume, etc etc.
Obviously, a lot of this depends on how close you really are. By steady, do you mean you're monogamous but it's not committed? Then certainly your own desires come first. Do you mean you're committed, but probably won't end up married? Then maybe you should really consider which is more important. Are you already engaged or planning to marry this guy? Then think long and hard before you decide, and make damned sure that you are ready to deal with the consequences (as well as advantages) of whichever decision you make.
McCain
everyone is right - and trust is very important.
I had a big conversation with 2 girls from work one night regarding this issue, and one was wondering whether or not to tell her new boyfriend, and was worried he'd break up with her - the other said that she never tells her boyfriends. I told her to tell her new bf - if he loves her and trusts her, then (even though he might not like it, completely) he will trust you and support you. there is nothing worse than hiding a big secret from someone you love - it only eats away at you and if it comes out later (voluntarily or not), then the mess is only greater.
...anyway, to end my story, my friend finally did tell her boyfriend, and he was fine with it- he may not like it completely , but she doesn't have to lie and it's opened up their relationship and trust....
Jax
"You have no idea what a long-legged gal can do without doing anything." -Claudette Colbert





ET, I hope that you've given careful consideration for your motivation to start dancing. While I'm not judging your situation, I've seen way too many perspective dancers get dollar signs in their eyes and not consider that this profession has a serious downside to it.
While dancing presents a facade to the uninformed that it is glamourous, it is in fact very unglamourous work that can be both physically and emotionally exhausting. I'm sure a lot of gals here on SW put a lot of sweat equity into making themselves look like a princess every night. Throw in your real life circumstances (such as informing your loved ones about what you do), and for many girls the job is more than they can bear. This is not a line of work for thin skinned people.
While there are a select few that can make a decent 10-15 year career out of dancing, I would estimate most of the girls that I see usually burn out or grow tired of it in under two years, and a number of them regret ever trying it. Mind you that was back when the money was considerably better. This is an industry that is highly dependent on men having discretionary income, and with the rotten economy and other uncertainties in the world right now, there's not a lot of that going around.
I highly suggest reading through a number of the SW threads and get as much info as you can. I assure you that the ladies here are NOT making up these stories of back and foot pain, rude customers that grope, catty co-workers (some of whom use drugs), stalkers, propositions for sex, and loved ones who were less than amused with their choice of a job. As a dancer, you WILL encounter much, if not all of these things. Please give careful consideration to this before you make a decision that you'll regret.
As for the situation with your BF, you need to weigh that against the pluses and minuses of being a stripper. If this is somebody that you think could be a lifelong partner, do you really want to risk that for a job that may only last a few years? Nonetheless, trust in a relationship is key, and very few relationships work with people keeping secrets behind their backs. I would tell him your intentions for you still have the option of backing out. He might be upset, but you never know, he could be more understanding than you think.
Either way, its certainly better than having this secret stressing you out. Best of luck to you.
Former SCJ now in rehab.





How compatible are you and your boyfriend? Do you live together or are you just dating?
Did you ever go to any clubs with him?
What does he not like about dancing?
Why do you want to dance? I hope it is not because you think you will make $500-$1000 a night. Are you in Texas, because if you are in the major cities such as Dallas/Ft. Worth, Houston, Austin, or San Antonio, there are soooo many dancers working that your money will be like a yo yo.
A lot more girls are wanting to give dancing a try nowadays than 10 years ago and it's causing th clubs to be flooded with dancers.
Be honest with your guy. Find out his problems. If he is naive enough to think that dancers routinely find new boyfriends in clubs he really isn't worth your time.
Talk to him straight up. If he can't accept the business simply because you want to try it, then he is not for you.




He is GOING to find out......
The sex was so good, the neighbors needed a cigarette!
http://susanfromseattle.wordpress.com
http://www.ksexradio.com/images/fans/susan_with_hat.jpg
If you want to do Burlesque, you should stay out of the strip clubs. There is no comparison to what lap dancers do and what burlesque artists like Dita Von Tease do. It is an entirely different form of entertainment.
The reason why I say this is that I am moving into burlesque, and away from strip clubs. I will be auditioning at a burlesque club in a nearby city this weekend.
Here are some links for Burlesque style review shows as of late.
http://lavenderrevue.homestead.com/about.html
http://www.lasvegasweekly.com/2003/01_09/news_cf.html
http://www.bayarea.com/mld/cctimes/e...ts/5180666.htm
http://teaseorama.com/
At some of the clubs I work at I get a lot of stage time, and at others I may be lucky to get up on stage once or twice for less than 5 minutes each time. I hate to say it but lap dancing is more selling skill than actual performance art.
I'm afraid that this post is coming out negitive, that is not what I wanted. But I think that If Gypsy Rose Lee was to walk into a strip club today, she would be shock and amazed to see what it meant to be a stripper in the 21st century.
I like doing lap dances (hate the hustle), I like stage dances, but burlesque is a lot more challenging from an artistic viewpoint. It doesn't pay hardly at all comparitivly, and the investment is lot larger in costumes and props. Just to let you know what you will be looking at, Stripping in a Gentlemen's club is SEX WORK. Burlesque review is stage/theater performance.
Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!
yOU DONT NEED TO TELL NOBODY NOTHING.....
will he tell you if he screws another girl?
be yourself....your own boss!
It's TOO BAD SHE'LL won't LAST, BUT then again WHO DOES!?
i dont get it...wheres the main post?!
Don't know.. It's not here, so the thread's closing. It's also about 2 years old.
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