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Thread: Feeling Used and Abused :(

  1. #1
    Member LolitaBabyDoll's Avatar
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    Default Feeling Used and Abused :(

    Hey guys,
    I've had to go back to my hometown from college and stripping because I nearly had a breakdown. It was stress, school, work, etc., but work was such a big factor.
    When I had just started working (mid-October), I was very naive and innocent, even though that's a contrast to what an exotic dancer is like. Those of you who have read some of my posts in the past know that I was working in a very shady, ghetto club. For the most part I liked it, but in another way, it was one of the worst things that happened to me.
    It started out when I was sitting with a customer who was telling me that as a stripper, I was there to fulfill a certain fanstasy, etc. While saying this, he took my hand and put it on his crotch. I froze, I didn't know what to do. I was scared, unsure, and then he asked me to give him a handjob through his pants. God, I'm so ashamed, I thought I'd be like a bitch or something if I didn't, so I sorta did. I felt worse than shit.
    There were other customers, some that were always trying to French kiss me (yes, in the club... the management was always turning their head the other way), customers who tried to touch my crotch, etc. And I'm a very... not sure what the word is... "nice" person, I don't want to be mean to anyone, I'm also terribly naive, as I have already stated. And I can't get over these feelings of guilt and feeling like a whore. I feel taken advantage of (I was only 18 at the time, I'm 19 now)... but I do like dancing. But I feel terrible about myself. Has anything similar to this happened to any of you guys? I don't know, is there any advice you could spare? I don't know what to do, I've been taking this out on myself in a lot of unhealthy ways (overeating, hurting myself, etc.).
    Peace, love, and empathy,
    Lola
    Pies- para qué los quiero, Si tengo alas para volar?... Feet what do I want them for, If I have wings to fly? - Frida Kahlo

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    Veteran Member hollyday's Avatar
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    Default Re: Feeling Used and Abused :(

    yes sweetie...we've all been there at some point or another in our lives/careers....the main thing for u is to set limits for yourself and do not cross those lines that u have made or yes, you WILL feel shitty about yourself...i can personally say i have been there myself when i first started dancing ,..but u have to drill this in your head....YOU ARE IN CONTROL AND YOU OWN THE POWER in the v.i.p. to decide what and what not will happen..and if he crosses your line in the sand u have EVERY RIGHT to charge him more..
    be strong and stand your ground
    there's a way to be NICE and still not be taken advantage of
    good luck sweetie
    blessed be

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    Member hotchocolate's Avatar
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    Default Re: Feeling Used and Abused :(

    hey,
    even though i haven't started dancing yet, i know that we all do things that we're not so proud of. Just remember to stand your ground and stay strong. Every experience happens for a reason, take from this and learn.

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    Default Re: Feeling Used and Abused :(

    Those things happen when you are inexperienced and therefore naive, but sooner or later you'll learn and have more malice (healthy malice, that is) and it will all fall into place. Oh, try another club where management respects you. This from a client



  5. #5
    Senior Member Tori's Avatar
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    Default Re: Feeling Used and Abused :(

    I agree with Holly Day set limits. When I started dancing I vowed never to meet a customer outside the 4 walls of the club. I have been dancing almost 3 years and I never have. I have been tempted but I know if I did it once I would do it twice then three times and I wouldn't feel good about myself.

    I have been asked to do things that I didn't think were right so I would politely say I don't think thats a good idea and if you get me fired I don't think you could afford to pay my bills.

    Tori

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