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Thread: Boyfriend and Strip Clubs

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    Default Boyfriend and Strip Clubs

    My boyfriend loves going to strip clubs, and being a dancer myself, this confuses my feelings even more about him going to strip clubs. I'm not sure how I feel about it, on one hand, I think, hey, I'm a dancer, I can't be a hypocrite, it's just good fun, but on the other hand, BECAUSE I'm a dancer, I've seen all the shit that goes down!
    So, my question to you all is, if you have boyfriends and husbands, and for those who do, how do you all feel about your significant others hitting the strip clubs and getting lap dances? For those who don't currently have boyfriends or husbands, hypothetically, how would you feel about it? If you are ok with this, what are your reasons for being ok with it? If you object and oppose of it, what are the reasons that you oppose, and how do you deal with this situation? I know most non dancers would object to their boyfriends and husbands going to strip clubs, but as dancers, I wonder if this complicates your feelings about your significant others going.

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    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boyfriend and Strip Clubs

    Desiree,
    I am in a unique position to answer this because my hubby was a dancer (for the ladies) before I ever was. I have no problem with him buying dances. I even have no problem with him receiving extras in the club, if that is what he wants and the lady has no problem with giving extras. I know that he has very good taste in dancers, so it is unlikely that he would get much in the way of extras. I remember that he got all excited because a really hot dancer he bought a lap dance from had nibbled on his cock through his jeans. I managed to work with this dancer and her and I gave him a two girl dance that had him being a wild man in bed after work that night lucky me!!

    So I guess in answer to your question, I have no problem with him either giving (as a performer) or receiving lap dances. I am going to see the Chippendales when they come to town in two weeks, I plan on definitely buying a few dances from those guys. And Hubby is totally okay with this.

    Now where I would have a problem is if Hubby was seeking out dancers to "hang" with outside of the club atmosphere. Then it is beyond fun and fantasy and gets personal. I would want to be the one who initiates any social time with the dancers at the club, not him, and I would want to be there for any outside social time, too. Especially if I have never met a particular dancer. I guess there are a few ladies that I'm friends with that I trust totally with Hubby, but I can count them on one hand.


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boyfriend and Strip Clubs

    It is different!

    We do it for work. He's there on his free time, looking for entertainment. We don't go mess around with other guys on our free time. It's not hypocritical to expect that your boyfriend/husband not go to strip clubs.

    I had a problem with a guy I was seeing who I met at my club (a whole different issue for another post), but he used to come back and get dances from other girls and seeing it infuriated me. He became the type of guy that other dancers used (they didn't know he was my boyfriend). He was reduced in their eyes and thus reduced in mine as the kind that is weak and can be used. I saw him in a whole different light and it bothered me.

    I think the reason that many dancers can do what we do to customers is because we see them in that light. You have to be careful about that because you want to respect him in the morning.

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    God/dess Zabrina's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boyfriend and Strip Clubs

    If you can trust your guy and he only goes occasionally, I'd be fine with it. Like say, a night out with the boys once a month or so. That's fine.
    However, I would be opposed to dating someone who is a regular at the strip club. Why is he there so often? Is he fixated on one particular girl? Is he looking for companionship? Is he an alcoholic? Being in the business so long I've noticed that the 'regulars' often have something missing in their life and fill that void with drinks/girls. Either that or they're simply horny perverts. Not someone you'd want a relationship with. Just my 2cents.....

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    Veteran Member NYCjacqueline's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boyfriend and Strip Clubs

    I'd have to agree with Mariah on her questions.. - and like Paris, my bf was a dancer for a brief time in Miami - and though being a female and a male dancer are two different things,when a girl gets a dance, her motivations/interests might be different than that of a guy's; but in essence , you are selling your sexiness to the customer - male or female.

    If your guy goes out with the guys or friends to a club once in a while, that's fine - if he goes by himself regularly, than I find that a little odd. Even more importantly, if he is spending an absurd amount of money at clubs and neglecting to take you out to dinner once in a while, you got a problem on your hands.
    My bf is not a big stripclub goer, unless he is with a friend who wants to go, or if he wants to just sit there and watch me dance - but
    when my bf does come into the club, I get him dances, he buys a dance or two, and it's fun and in all good taste and humor.
    "You have no idea what a long-legged gal can do without doing anything." -Claudette Colbert

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    God/dess doc-catfish's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boyfriend and Strip Clubs

    I don't have a SO in my life right now and I'd estimate that 90+ percent of my trips are by myself. Having some work buddies tag along just isn't the same! So I think its true whats been said about going to strip clubs filling an emotional void for some of us. I certanly get approached more often for dances when I'm by myself, but different guys have different motivations for being there. Its not considered a vice industry for nothing.

    I should state that if I WERE dating a dancer, I'd make it a clear policy never to go to the club she's working at, (at least while she's on duty), for fear that my presence might be a distraction for her. I know a lot of club owners in fact frown upon that sort of thing.
    Former SCJ now in rehab.

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    Banned jasmine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boyfriend and Strip Clubs

    Personally I'd get pissed if my fiancee was at a club spending our hard earned money. It would make it seem like the only reason I was dancing was to fund his trips!

    Then again, I'm a jealous bitch!

    Jasmine

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    Featured Member tragic-beauty's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boyfriend and Strip Clubs

    this is what i say to my husband... You are okay with me working at a club.. and that is great.. but i cant ignore how i feel about you going to clubs.. im sorry i dont want you going to them.. im not as easy going as you are. just because you arent jealous doesent mean im not

  9. #9
    Pamela
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    Default Re: Boyfriend and Strip Clubs

    I have to be honest. I work my ASS of for my home pets daughter etc. (i am single at the moment, however).
    But if my bf/husband ever went to a strip club...He's HISTORY! Now if he wants to dance and make money, i am fine. But i damn sure don't want him getting a woody over another women in his face. That is how i feel. And when i fall in love, i will stop dancing for him....Because i am ready now.
    Pamela

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    Default Re: Boyfriend and Strip Clubs

    I am fine with my man going to clubs with his buddies. I might feel differnt if he wanted to or went alone though. But I know all his friends and what they do at the clubs. They are barfly's and don't get dances- they even go to my club most of the time, and most of the girls and the bartender know he is my man so....the girls always tell me he talks about me to them when he's there without me too- they say he's so sweet it makes them ill LOL! Out of all of his friends is the only one who isn't cheap( by stripclub standards that is) too- if a cool dancer chats him up he'll tip her the price of a dance and buy her a drink but turn down dances. I know this for sure as I was once one of those girls We go together sometimes and with his or my friends sometimes- so it is all good. Again if he were out in clubs alone rather than with me- I'd be ticked. Another thing is the clubs we go to and I used to work in are no contact. I'd have an issue with him regularly going to contact clubs in my area as the dancers there grab a man's package when they ask for dances
    sitting at the bar having drinks with the guys in a show club is just fine with me.

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    God/dess lestat1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boyfriend and Strip Clubs

    There's a bit of an interesting pattern forming here. It seems there's quite a distinction between going to a SC with the guys for a fun 'boys night out' and going out solo or as a regular. Are the motives of the 'group of guys' a little less harmless (i.e. just looking for some sexy entertainment and fun); while the motives of the 'solo guy' are more like filling an emotional lack and/or 'sex-addicted pervert'? Also how would it break down further for a single 'solo guy' vs. an in a relationship 'solo guy'?

    It makes sense to me if you don't want your BF seeking to fill some emotional void or need by going to a SC, I'd feel somewhat betrayed in that situation. I don't think I'd have a problem with a GF going for a 'girls night out' to see some guys dance though, but I probably would if she went by herself as a way of fulfilling something missing in her life. Hmmmm...is going by yourself to a SC cheating then?

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    God/dess Zabrina's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boyfriend and Strip Clubs

    There's a bit of an interesting pattern forming here. It seems there's quite a distinction between going to a SC with the guys for a fun 'boys night out' and going out solo or as a regular. Are the motives of the 'group of guys' a little less harmless (i.e. just looking for some sexy entertainment and fun); while the motives of the 'solo guy' are more like filling an emotional lack and/or 'sex-addicted pervert'? Also how would it break down further for a single 'solo guy' vs. an in a relationship 'solo guy'?
    Definatly yes, a boys night out is far more harmless than going solo. In a group, theres more of a male bonding thing going on. The guys hang out, get a dance or two, but mostly drink together and check the girls out from a distance. It's just part of being a guy. Their teeny little man brains are just tuned to look at women so no matter how much a guy loves you he still has to look at other women. Just a fact of life. Something you have to tolerate because a guy is always going to look at beautiful women and theres not shit you can do about it.
    To have a girl sitting on his lap, chatting it up, buying her drinks, getting to know one another.... Now that is when I'd start to get pissed. If he buys lots of dances from one girl or spends an extended amount of time talking/flirting with her we are in the 'I'm gonna dump his ass' zone.
    I expect a visit to the strip club to be like looking at a porno. Look at her, she's pretty, she's 'new ass', a different flavor than what he has at home, get one dance, maybe get a woody but after that forget her. Have a drink, talk about sports with your boys. The end.

    If a guy goes solo, hes there for the girls only, not male bonding. He's seeking out the company of other women, not having fun with friends. Yes I'd dump him for that. If he needs attention or titillation he'd better get that from me.


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    Featured Member aggieed's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boyfriend and Strip Clubs

    Here is my perspective. A few years ago I was in a serious relationship with a dancer here in Austin. According to her, she was NOT the jealous type and did not mind the fact that I still would visit my favorite strip club here in Austin...which was not the club where she worked. I DID go alone 95% of the time, and I did primarily go in only to see 2-3 specific dancers. She knew that, and she didn't mind.

    Some women are like that. I have a friend whose wife doesn't mind him going to strip clubs because she knows that while strip clubs may provider the "appetizers", she provides the dinner and dessert...know what I mean.

    The only issue that both the dancer I was seeing and my friend's wife had was money. The dancer I was seeing did not like me spending as much money as I did. This was back in 2000 when things were going well in the tech industry, and I was getting fat bonus checks every three months. I was spending a boatload of money every month in strip clubs on multiple visits...more at the end of every quarter. Obviously spending that kind of cash can be a problem for a wife or girlfriend. I'm a highly independent person so I felt free to do with my money what I wanted.

    One other question to think about is whether you think knowing that your S/O goes to strip clubs is good or bad. I have a few married friends who hide the fact that they go to strip clubs from their wives because they know their S/O would definitely NOT approve of it. How many married customers have you met as a dancer? How many of those guys DON'T tell their wives where they've been?

    Personally I think it would be best to know.
    I'm a simple man, making my way through the universe.

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    Default Re: Boyfriend and Strip Clubs


    Depends on how to look at this. My man is a dancer himself but he only dances because he likes to dance and as we know male dancers do not make as much money as females.He really doesnt go to female strip clubs and i really like it. If both going to dance I would totally agree with Jasmine, am a little jealus bitch too It is little diffrent.
    I think if boyfrined/husband understands you then its all good if you guys work together.i wouldnt personally work to get me some men, its all about making money and havng fun.

    Sometimes I dont feel good when I imagine him with all the females and things he has to do to earn his money but I also trust him and its just I would know right away if he does something, we known each other for long time and i guessthat helps.
    Thing about boyfriend going to strip clubs by himself would definitely weird me out

    Peace

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    Default Re: Boyfriend and Strip Clubs

    I don't think going somewhere by youself makes you a bad person, if it is a SC or fishing. What if ones needs are not being met at home, not taking care of her "homework". Some people need more of some things than others. Does this mean the SO must do without?
    Don't make me spank you!

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    Senior Member Messi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boyfriend and Strip Clubs

    I did not have a problem with my boyfriend getting lapdances because we had it in agreement that we knew who each other was going to go home to!
    "...it was a queer shaped little creature, and held it's arms in all directions,'just like a starfish'" (carrol)

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    Default Re: Boyfriend and Strip Clubs

    I have no issue with my honey going to strip joints. Especially when I get to come along for a look-see as well!

    If we were in the States, I would have almost no reservations at all about him buying a lap dance, were he so inclined. But as we are in Canada, and private dances here are sometimes a little more suggestive than in the States, it might make me a little bit iffy-feeling, depending on the place. Still, how many dancers do you know that will try to get freaky during a private dance with a guy whose woman is waiting for him not 10 feet away? LOL

    McCain

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    Featured Member Amethyst's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boyfriend and Strip Clubs

    I don't have a problem at all if my husband heads over to strip clubs every so often (by every so often, I mean like once a week) with his buddies. Most of the times, I go with him, but if it's a boys' night out, I completely understand. He doesn't complain when I go to a male strip club (probably b/c he knows I'll get more turned on with him at a girls' club than the cheesy dancers at the guys' clubs, lol). I will admit, I would be worried if he were going by himself to the same strip club to visit the same dancer on a regular basis and, alas, I would have to put my foot down.

    I guess I just chalk it up to mutual trust and respect for one another. Of course, my hubby and I aren't the average married couple...

    Amethyst


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    Default Re: Boyfriend and Strip Clubs

    My boyfriend doesn't even like to watch porn, which is a total waste of my liberal attitudes! I have a couple of good dancer friends whose boyfriends were semi-regulars at clubs and they just liked to hang out, bs and drink. They just preferred to do this at bars with chicks running around in their underwear as opposed to a sports bar or pub. They would occasionally buy dances, and one would spend time with particular girls, but nothing to ever be concerned about by a long shot.
    However, I think this in an issue that is really personal and individual - it depends upon what you need to feel secure in your relationship. For some of us, it's just having that other person in our lives. Others need to feel they are the center of their SO's lives. Figure out how you feel and make your compromises based on that.
    And I'd like to invite Paris, Amythest and McCain for a night out at the clubs with (or without) the boys any old time!

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    God/dess velvet's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boyfriend and Strip Clubs

    my husband never goes. i guess all these years of hearing me and my girlfriends talk about the clubs he thinks it's rather silly. now when i lived in a small town he would come and pick me up, as i may have had a cocktail or three. he didnt mind so much there as he knew half the girls in there and they were our friends. again he still feels the whole strip club thing is silly, it does NOTHING for him.
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    Default Re: Boyfriend and Strip Clubs

    well im not a dancer yet im going to go try it out in a year when i get in better shape and when i spoke to my husband about it i thought hed flip out but he looked me in the eyes and said" do you trust me? i trust you . i know you. ill know if you did something inappropriate the minute i look at you when you get home from the bar. if you cheat we are over. if i cheated on you id expect the same he said i needed to respect myself if i go into this buisness and hed help me with whatever clothes, makeup, excercise equip. any thing " then he smiled and said we wouldnt talk about jealousy unless there was a need. you know what goes on there but its not a question of can you trust him there its can you trust him in general. every customer is usually someones husband/bf i mean does it really matter id rather my husband go to a strip club where hes obviously looking at women than lying to my face about doing it in walmart

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    God/dess onlythebest's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boyfriend and Strip Clubs

    Damn,what an old thread.
    One of woman's cardinal rule: Body parts can be fake,everything else has to be real.

    一个女人的枢机规则:肢体可以伪造,一切必须真实.

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    Senior Member forevernaked's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boyfriend and Strip Clubs

    NO WAY my boyfriend is not allowed to set foot in a strip club. He has a stripper at home!

    I just really don't like the idea of another girl sitting on his lap. Simple as that.

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    God/dess Sirona's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boyfriend and Strip Clubs

    I've got no issues what so ever with my other half hitting the club, whether it be to only tip at the stage or get dances, with me, by himself or with friends. I trust him implicitly and know him well enough to know he goes with a self imposed spending limit. In the end it comes down to trust. Period.



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    Default Re: Boyfriend and Strip Clubs

    ugg... I'm very torn on this issue... Very very torn...

    I've never thought about it before...

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