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Thread: newly wed!??!!?!?!

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    Senior Member Messi's Avatar
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    Default newly wed!??!!?!?!

    My new husband started me off in the dancing industry. I had always wanted to try it and he helped me buy my first outfit and shoes. WEll we got married and now he says that it is different because we are married and he wants me to stop stripping. He said it makes him sick to think about other guys see "his wife" take her clothes off.
    He said he would like me to get a job at Hooter's and work there. He said it would be less intimidating. But I dont get way it is so different now than a couple of months ago! I fell in love with dancing. GIrls if you could give me advice on what I should do I would completely appreciate it.
    thanks!!
    "...it was a queer shaped little creature, and held it's arms in all directions,'just like a starfish'" (carrol)

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    Featured Member tragic-beauty's Avatar
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    Default Re: newly wed!??!!?!?!

    you tell him that if he loved yu he wouldnt care about ehat other people think.. im married.. and my husband is supportave.. sounds like your hubby went into control freak mode. Tell him whaqt for. its your life.. dont let him get away with telling you what you should do with it

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    God/dess Zabrina's Avatar
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    Default Re: newly wed!??!!?!?!

    Just because you got married doesn't mean he owns you now. Marriage does't give him the right to completely change the dynamics of your relationship. Decisions that affect the both of you should be made jointly. I think its time you two have a talk about this.

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    Featured Member Amethyst's Avatar
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    Default Re: newly wed!??!!?!?!

    I agree with Mariah and Shan. My husband has known for years that I was thinking about dancing and never had a problem until last December when I actually started scouting clubs online, spending more time here and working out, etc... Like you, my hubby bought my shoes, and my pilates gear, but then had a sudden attack of possessiveness (sp) which I had to help him get straightened out.

    We've come to understand one another, though. As a husband, he is naturally protective over me as I am over him. I've learned to be a lot more patient with him when he has these insecure thoughts, and he's comfortable knowing that I meant what I said in our vows. No matter what my job is. Of course, I'll drop him in a hot minute if Mr. Hugh Jackman or Mr. Taye Diggs come stepping into any club that I work at (heh, heh j/k)

    Talk to your husband. And listen to what he has to say. And then dance your a-sugar-sugar off

    Amethyst


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    Default Re: newly wed!??!!?!?!

    I thikn the key phrase that pays here is he started you off in the business. Reap what you sow. he is partially responsible for that which he no longer likes. Odd turn if you ask me. He sounds rather selfish. I mean I could feasibly understand so much better if he weren't involved in the situation.

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    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: newly wed!??!!?!?!

    My first husband did a 360 on our honeymoon. The really great caring, sweet guy turned into a demanding and abusive person. I didn't change, but suddenly he turned into a dick head. I wasn't a dancer then, but I know where you are coming from. I stuck it out for four years and probably would have been longer except he punched me in the face while I was standing in front of my brother. Then the cat was out of the bag!!

    I would never wish that on anyone! Definately talk to him, now. Find out why a piece of paper that says you have to file joint income taxes makes a difference in what your dancing career means to him. Has he just been playing along until he could get the ring on your finger, and then he was going to bring up his concerns? Get counciling, and find out why he is making an about face!!


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


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    Default Re: newly wed!??!!?!?!

    Do what I did:

    Ask yourself what, in the long run, really means more to you and what truly makes you more happy?

    I loved dancing - can't think of any job I have ever enjoyed more. But after a calm, mature, rational discussion with my sweetie, it was decided that continuing to strip was likely to cause some potential problems. For both of us. Because anything that upsets him tends to upset me (gotta love empathy). SO I am now semi-retired, and maybe completely retired.

    If you truly feel that your work will make you happier and be more fulfilling for you throughout time, then feel free to continue on. Others are right when they say he does not have any place attempting to control you or dictate what you do. But if you feel like he means enough that you want him to still be there waiting when you finally choose to (or have to) hang up your dancing shoes, then maybe you need to rethink your priorities. Because the odds are that he won't be.

    McCain

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    God/dess Zabrina's Avatar
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    Default Re: newly wed!??!!?!?!

    I just wish that guys would be more up front about how they feel about us dancing. I was married before and he always said he was okay with it, until the shit hit the fan and he finally admitted he always hated it. Please guys, get this stuff out in the open while you are dating so it doesn't turn into a big jealous mess when you get married.

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