HELP!!!
I'm looking for suggestions on ways to get my girlfriend of 4 years to stop dancing and move on to something else. When I met her she was working a "normal" job for min wage and only doing amateur contests for extra money. The extra money thing then lured her away to do full time dancing. She's danced in S. Florida, SF, and LV where we are currently.
Each time we moved to another city it was because of MY job. And each time we moved she tried to get a "normal" office type job. In the past 4 years that I have know her she has worked 4 "normal" jobs, the longest one lasting about 5 weeks. She has a number of reasons of why the jobs didn't work out but I think it really comes down to a couple of things.
- She doesn't like anyone telling her what to do
- She doesn't like having a schedule
- She doesn't like to wake up (morning/night doesn't matter)
- She doesn't like when people talk about her lack of education and talk down to her
- She doesn't like being responsible for things
These are the reasons I think she keeps going back to dancing. She can get a job based on her looks and charm but once she actually starts working it she can't deal with the structure and diplomacy that is involved in the rest of the working world. She dances because it is "easy" for her.
But with money being so bad this past year it is not easy for her anymore. She goes to work and sits in the dressing room and bitches all night. She wont work the floor anymore, waiting/hoping/praying that guys will approach her. She still manages to make $$+ consistently, but that is not good enough for her and frankly I am tired of hearing about it. I never liked the idea of her dancing anyways and now with her constant complaining and her 3-5 days a month of actually waking up on time to go to work I really think she should move on to something else.
I'm OK with her staying home and doing stuff around the house. I don't make a ton of money but it is enough to pay all the bills and save a couple hundred a month. The only problem with that is she can't deal with me trying to budget and put a little money into savings and constantly complains because I wont spend money on the expensive stuff she is used to having.
What do I do? Talking about her future with her always ends up in an arguement. I know she doesn't like dancing but she hasn't been able to hold a normal job outside of the clubs.
-I suggested she try cocktail waitressing at one of the clubs she works at so she could still hang out with her friends, make decent money, and not have to deal with guys turning her down.
-I suggested she go back to school. She has her GED and I think that is all you need to go to community college. I think that also would be a good place to meet friends that aren't strippers.
-I suggested she stay at home, pick up a hobby, and take a break from working. She wont do that because I can't afford a new $$$$$ outfit and $$ trip to the salon every week. (sorry?)
Even though I've been complaining about her situation I do really care about her. I think she is capable of doing whatever she puts her mind to. She just has to try and commit to giving it some effort. Does anyone know of other things I can try to suggest? Or a better approach to discussing these kind of topics? It doesn't make a huge difference to me how she spends her day/night as long as she is somewhat happy doing it. Having to hustle isn't doing it for her right now.
Please help. I really care for her and I want her to be happy but I don't know what to do that will actually help. Sorry for the long post. - BEN









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