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Thread: Do you lie to people you meet about your job?

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    Default Do you lie to people you meet about your job?

    Hi i have been depressed about something latley. Whenever i meet people i lie about what i do. I don't know if this is common among dancers when you meet non dancers. I guess i am afraid of their reaction. Whether men or women i always say i am a coctail waitress. I even tell that to my parents! Not my sister though who is quiet understanding (thank god) and my live in boyfriend and a few close friends. But always when i meet a girl that i would like to hang out with i always lie about my job. It is very scary to me and i hate lying!!! I feel really alone! I mean you only live this life once and i feel like lying is such a waste. But i can't tell people the truth i just don't know what i am afraid of. I met this cool girl and we have alot in common. I'd like to become friends with her and go out drinking or something but i already told her i waitress. What would i look like if i told her i had been lying to her? I know there are girls at my club i could hang out with but alot of them have diffrent lifestyle than me( like smoking pot or getting hammered to have a good time) at this point in my life i am so over that! I just don't know what to do. I feel traped and alone. Does anyone have any advice?

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    God/dess Lena's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you lie to people you meet about your job?

    Hi Lilac,

    I tell people I bartend. The way I see it is that the average persons view of a female bartender is a somewhat accurate view of a stripper. So by telling people that I'm a bartender, I'm actually being somewhat honest, in a strange sort of way. If a person has an understanding of bars/clubs/strip joints, I'll tell them what I do, or if they're a very close friend, I tell them.

    Saying that you're a cocktail waitress is the equivelant of saying "I work in a bar" or "I work nights" or "I deal with the public" or "I have to be able to handle rude drunks." Which is actually pretty accurate.

    Lena



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    Veteran Member Theresa's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you lie to people you meet about your job?

    I know exactly how you feel. Sometimes I lie and sometimes I tell the truth, though I am more apt to lie to other girls but tell the truth to guys. I am in a sorority at school and everyone thinks I am a bartender. For the longest time I told my best friend I was a shot girl, and was almost busted a few times when I ran into guy friends of mine while out clubbing and they would bring my job up. One night we were out at a club and the dj freaking announced I was a dancer over the speakers, while my friend was right there! Anyway, my advice is, if you think you and this girl are going to end up being close friends, tell her the truth because eventually she could find out the truth anyway, and it will look shady that you have been lying about it the whole time. I think my friend finally figured it out, but she moved away and we talk only occasionally now so it hasn't really been an issue. Anyway, good luck to you.

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    Senior Member Hershey's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you lie to people you meet about your job?

    Yes I understand how u really feel. I have lied to my family and some people I just met about what I do for living. It's like I had to remember what I had lied about lol. I told them that Im a file clerk at some big department and they knew I work nites lol. I dont know why they would believe that :-/

    I dont have any friends. I used to have friends and they had betrayed me because of my wanting to be a dancer. And lately I haven't had much luck finding good friends that I would like to hang out with. People at work mostly like u said do drugs or have different lifestyle which I wouldnt do. I just gotta try to get out and meet cool and open minded people. When Im in school, I dont talk much to people at school and I come straight home and do my homework. I dont hang out much anymore though I would like to. I used to go to a dance club almost every weekend to have fun. I missed those times I've had. But we all gotta move on. so I understand how ya feel girl. U would have to tell her the truth or otherwise she'll feel like everything about u is a lie and if she's a friend or a true friend she would at least understand your position as a dancer.


    Hershey

  5. #5
    Pamela
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    Default Re: Do you lie to people you meet about your job?

    To be honest here, i tell anyone who asks me what i do for a living. Not only my hospital job, but dancing and phone sex. I am from Sweden and my family just laughed. (so open minded). Over here, i have a hard time with BF's, but i tell them anyway. Lost one serious relationship over my job choices. But it will come back to haunt me i feel in the long run if i don't tell the truth right off the bat.
    Besides people have seen me dancing who i work with at the hospital. I just feel better telling. And if someone is going to judge me, they would be better off to just leave me be as well then.
    Pamela

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    Featured Member Veronika's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you lie to people you meet about your job?

    I almost always tell the truth. The truth seems to separate the wheat from the chaff really tends to cause less trouble later on. The only person I fibbed to was my mother (dad, grandma, brother... etc, all know). I told her I was a waitress and *that* was only because she has some issues that I don't need her to dwell on me with. I would really try and stick with the truth, personally.
    Currently dancing at the Men's Club of Reno, NV
    under the name of Veronica! I am a 2007 calendar girl for MCR, so message me if you want a calendar!

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    Veteran Member ChadW's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you lie to people you meet about your job?

    I don't think you girls should feel bad about not disclosing what you do in order to protect yourself from a possible hard time or rejection. You are right - some people do have fucked up attitudes about it, so what's the big if you decide to implement ways to keep yourself from getting a hard time?

    I live in Hong Kong now, and have always been free about telling people I strip until I got over here (it is different for guys anyway, but there is a different kind of stigma attached).

    The Chinese have no term for "male stripper" and the closest word is prostitute. I do not have an issue with that either, but I know for certain that my very conservative employers (I work full time in fitness) do. They also are responsible for my working visa here, so I need to be really discreet (had to learn how). So yeah, unless its business (stripping) I don't tell either.
    Chad Weston
    Male Stripper / Dancer / Entertainer



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    Default Re: Do you lie to people you meet about your job?

    It depends on the person if I tell them I waitress/bartend or if I'm an exotic dancer. My younger brother knows and so does one Aunty and Uncle. My father and step-mum don't know (incl. my step-brothers) because I found out via a conversation I had with them once their views on strip clubs etc so I decided it would be best to keep them in the dark.

    All my friends know.. however they are real friends as they support my decisions.

    As for people "I just meet"... it depends on the person if I will lie to them or not. As far as friends go, telling the truth to someone you want as a potential friend is the only way to go.

    It allows you to find out how supportive they will be of you or not. I personally will only associate with people who aren't threatened by strip clubs and/or sexuality.



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    Senior Member Messi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you lie to people you meet about your job?

    It depends on who asks about my job. If it is someone I attend school with I do tell them that I strip but if it is like family or friends of the family I lie and tell them that I babysit on the nights that I am not at home. So its normal. I do it too!
    "...it was a queer shaped little creature, and held it's arms in all directions,'just like a starfish'" (carrol)

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    Default Re: Do you lie to people you meet about your job?

    Do I lie about my job? All the time!
    First of all, my close friends and family know what I do. I'm married, so I don't have to worry about telling new boyfriends about what I do...one of the perks of no longer being single. Anyone other then that really doesn't need to know...what job I tell them depends on my mood. Most often I say I'm a shot girl at a nightclub (easy to get away with in Vegas), or if they're male and annoying me, I tell them that I am a doctor...and then cheerfully ask them when was the last time they had a prostate and rectal exam.

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    Veteran Member Jayln's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you lie to people you meet about your job?

    I lie to everyone.....only about 3 of my friends know I have started dancing. I wish I could tell people, because I love it and don't find it at all degrading or cheap, or whatever adjectives people tend to use. But I am just not at the point where I want to invite the criticism of myself yet.
    For once you have tasted flight you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you will long to return.

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