I stopped dancing 7 months ago, after 2 years of working full time plus dancing part-time, plus raising my daughter alone. I was completely and utterly burnt out! Exhaustion was reaching epic proportions, I was tired and cranky, money wasn't what it used to be - I know many of you have been there. By the time I was done paying the sitter there just wasn't enough left to justify the time away from my girl, and I really felt that I needed to be around more as a mom. I was also burnt out on the whole scene, feeling that my self esteem was becoming too tied in to how I looked, and how much money I was making. I also was feeling that I was missing out on a chance to have a more "normal" life as far as dating, relationships, etc. The night I cleaned out my locker, I was a little sad, but mostly relieved, like a burden had been lifted.
Overall, this has been a good decision - my daughter is much happier now, I've been able to spend more time with my parents and friends. I did date a little, but never really met anyone who interested me all that much.
Problem is, I miss dancing! I miss the club - my friends there, and the new people I was constantly meeting. I miss the attention, I miss having money in my now always empty wallet. I miss shopping for cute little outfits and having somewhere to wear them. I miss that feeling of performing, the top of the world thrill I got when all eyes were on me. I miss shameless flirting without obligation, I miss the part of me that is still very much a dancer.
I know that my spot is always open at my old club as I am still well liked there. I've been toying with the idea of checking out some other clubs. I've been wondering if I need to seek professional help...LOL!
I know that I can't do it all, and I don't have the energy to try to maintain that kind of a schedule again. I also know that I need to spend this time with my daughter as she is struggling with pre-teen issues and has really benefitted from the extra attention she has had with her mom around. I know all of these things, yet i find myself thinking about dancing constantly.
Has anyone ever had an experience like this? Any advice, bits of wisdom?
Argh!



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). Man, do I miss it. Maybe I will be able to go back at some point in time. We shall see.

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