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Thread: Dating the DJ?

  1. #1
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    Default Dating the DJ?

    ok, my god! i know this sounds silly, but i think i have the hots for my clubs dj. really, he is the only decent guy in the club. i do have a boyfriend currently but when i'm on stage and he looks at me i just feel so sexy. he once dated a waitress here but that's over now. should i approach him? how should i go about it?

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    Default Re: Dating the DJ?

    I dated , then married the DJ in the club I worked at, we are still together 2 beautiful childrean and 7 years later LOL but not knowing you or this DJ I couldn't give advice exept to say, go with your heart but use your head too!
    I'd love to fuck your brains out.......But apparently someone already beat me to it......

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    Default Re: Dating the DJ?

    I don't think it's a very good idea. seen it happen to often and end up badly. if you really like this guy, get to know him slowly. tkae your time, no sex. good luck
    christ, I can't wait to take over the world

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Dating the DJ?

    From the way you talked about him, it sounds like a crush. Take your time! You said "he is the only decent guy in the club"! Are you only looking in the club? Sure he looks normal compared to customers, but how's he rate to people outside of the club? I know it can be hard sometimes to meet people, but make time!

    Also think about this, the other girls are going to be flirting with him. Remember, he plays the music. If you're the jelous type, you'll always be wondering what or who he's doing. And if you do date, what happens if you break up? Do you want him to still control your music and lights?

    Just take your time and think about it. Like torch said, no sex.

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    Newbie katlynel's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dating the DJ?

    I have done it and speaking from experience, it is a terrible idea. Look at it this way. There are two possibilities about DJs. One is that he is kind of a scuzzball and he works in a strip club because he likes to look at and flirt with naked ladies, in which case he is not someone you want to be dating. The other possibility is that he is a really decent smart guy who sees right through the whole strip club "thing." If that's the case, then he's probably already seen and heard every trick in the book from dancers trying to get him into bed or flirt with him to get better music, and he probably knows better than to date a dancer. And if he doesn't, then he should.

    Dating a DJ is not worth the trouble by a long shot. If other people at work know, you'll run into a lot of jealousy and other girls will likely try to "take" him from you. If other people don't know, then you'll have to deal with watching him flirt with other girls to try to get better tips, and watching girls flirt with him to try to get better music.

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    Default Re: Dating the DJ?

    I have "dated" a DJ from one club, and it worked out well, but I was a housemom and not a dancer. Then I had a "crush" on another DJ at a different club but he was married....so i didn't pursue that.

    DJs make their money (in MY experience) just like the girls...primarily from tips. Maybe he does like you, or maybe you just tip well *grin*.

    You also run the risk of making other girls feel you are getting special treatment. Is it worth a hostile working environment to get laid? Nope.

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    Veteran Member hollyday's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dating the DJ?

    i dont think dating the dj is a good idea
    ive seen it go bad manymany times
    and then if it doesnt work out you have to work togther every day
    i know a girl that dated the dj..he quit one day in a fit and moved in with her and shes still supporting him 3 months later
    not a good idea
    blessed be

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Dating the DJ?

    I think this is a terrible idea. Dating anyone in the club is. From my own experience, it is a pain. He was jealous of the guys. Plus when it didn't work out and things got totally screwed up I felt very uncomfortable. He had worked at the club a lot longer than me and was good friends with bouncers and management and djs, plus a few of the girls. More was involved than just breaking up. They blamed me for the way things ended up. Needless to say, I do not work there anymore! All I can say is, never date someone from the club, especially if they have worked there longer than you and have stronger ties!

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    Default Re: Dating the DJ?

    I had a crush on the dj of my club for a year. I knew it was a bad idea, but we wound up hooking up anyway. WORST mistake of my entire life!! He turned out to be very screwed up in the head..and actually had a wife and kids!!! What kinda man would leave a wife and kids for a stripper? Perhaps your situation is different, and this guy does not have a wife and kids, but why is he working in the strip club to begin with? Most of these men have something in common. Just like everyone else said, when it doesnt work out, you will have a big mess on your hands. It will make it very uncomfortable or you to work, and he has oppurtunitys to jeopardize your money. It may be hard to control your lust, but its never a good idea to date people from work!! If you meet your mate in a club, he may have the same negative views about you that he has about other dancers. Plus u never know if he is just flirting with you for extra money. GOOD LUCK! keep us updated. I wish someone had told me to stay away when i was going through your problem. One more thing Id like to add, when we were dating, the Dj did not want me to work anywhere but at the club he was at...so he could keep me "in check"

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    Default Re: Dating the DJ?

    looks like everyone has had some experience with this - first *and* secondhand!

    You should analyze things w/ your bf, too. If you are thinking about being w/ someone else, maybe you should do yourself and him the favor by breaking up. that's firstoff ...

    My one girlfriend who dated the dj (he had a gf of 2 years/ she was single) ended up getting fired from her club. They were very heavy into this relationship, and he got jealous when she went to the VIP room one night, told the manager that she was humping some guy with her panties off (which wasnt' true), and she was fired from a very good club. (she was working at mine and that one at the same time). They would keep on breaking up & making up over & over... she was always playing with a heartache. Since she's again single, and not working at that club, she's much happier.

    good luck in your decisions - hope all of our advice helps!
    "You have no idea what a long-legged gal can do without doing anything." -Claudette Colbert

  11. #11
    Pamela
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    Default Re: Dating the DJ?

    I was told to never date any one you work with. And i will not. I used to trick myself into saying "i don't actually work with these doctors," (of course talking about the hospital job.) But in reality, if the relationship goes sour one usually has to go! Usually the one lower on the totem pole. If in fact anyone wants to meet up and date a co-worker, the best choice is for one person to do a job change. Otherwise some one is getting set up for a heart break if they both continue to work the same building. Note: Not always true, exception to every rule!!!! Pamela

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    Default Re: Dating the DJ?

    i don't think that dating anyone from work is a good idea. it is your work environment and its where you go to make money and if there is anything that sours you will be affected by it and so will your money. every situation is different ... use your best judgement

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    Veteran Member Theresa's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dating the DJ?

    I definitely have to agree with everyone else who said NO. The dj at my club is actually engaged to one of the former dancers (she is pregnant now, so she is taking some time off). But anyway, he hits on like EVERY girl who works there!! Of course, it is probably so he will get tipped more, but still!! If I had to see my boyfriend hitting on beautful half-naked women every night, it would drive me nuts.

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    Featured Member TiNi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dating the DJ?

    Say No or find another club. I had a bouncer who like me and at first I played on it not in bf and gf ;he was nice. Bad choice he mess up my money flow. He kept coming to me ask me if I was ok if any customer was treating me bad. When I gave a lap dance he wanted to see what was going on. He would drag me away from a customer, just to talk to me. Like he was giving me moneywhich he wasnt then ask me for a tip at the end of the night. It was terrible.

    Even though it's a DJ the same thing could happen to you.

  15. #15
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    Default Re: Dating the DJ?

    I'm curious, if you guys all feel it's a bad idea, then why does it happen all the time. Many dancers go out with the bartenders/djs/bouncers. Some even have kids together, but most typically end badly after a couple of weeks.

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    Featured Member TiNi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dating the DJ?

    That's just our opinion. Every dancer dont feel that way. I cant speak for everyone. Just my experience

  17. #17
    Pamela
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    Default Re: Dating the DJ?

    ry, because dancing is just like any other job, put people together day after day, they get to know one another...and there you have the makings of co-workers dating. Happens in just about any proffesion sooner or later. And us who respond to the original message, well 'we' feel it's a bad idea. You can't throw all dancers in one category! You have all types of personalities in one club. Thats like me speaking for a dancer Vegas who i don't even know. I don't know!!! Pamela

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    Featured Member susan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dating the DJ?

    where I see this thing headed (and the odds of each):

    You and he date, fall in love, and live happily ever after (0.3%)

    You date him. You fuck him. He forgets about it. (24.9%)

    You date him. You fuck him. You are the best thing he's ever had and he keeps ON fucking you. He starts treating you slightly better than the other girls. The other girls find out about it and decide to get even. Your life there as a dancer is screwed. (24.9%)

    You date him. You fuck him. You find out he has a cock the size of your little finger. You dump him. He spreads the word that your HIV test came back with some b-a-a-a-a-d news. (24.9%)

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    Default Re: Dating the DJ?

    i think alot of ppl date each other from within the club because its already something you have in common, you both work in the sex industry and understand how it works (most of the time) whereas other ppl would tend to judge you right away. i dated the bouncer and he eventually became the manager and i had to break it off because it just got too much. it just realy sucks bringing reality to your fantasy world.

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    Veteran Member Theresa's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dating the DJ?

    I forgot all about this, but I used to have the BIGGEST crush on this one doorman two clubs ago. He flirted with EVERY dancer there, probably to increase his tip outs. Anyway, after my shift one night, he asked me if I wanted to go to breakfast with him. I was all excited and happy...then I went outside and found that I had a flat tire. So needless to say, we didn't go out to breakfast. The manager drove me and the other doorman home, and the other doorman told me the first doorman liked me (the manager was pumping gas during this convo). Nothing ever ended up happening, but now he is going out with this other dancer, and I guess he turned her into a crackhead, beats the shit out of her all the time, and he tried to get her to do porn films. Nice...I guess me getting a flat tire that one night was a sign.

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    Default Re: Dating the DJ?

    Susan, I laughed like hell when I read your post. What about the other 25%? Don't feel like you have to answer, life is strange, and anything can happen...

    This advice is pretty much on the mark. I generally never hit on any of the dancers wherever I work, which is easy because that is my style anyway, never having been the stud-boy, conquest-oriented type. But also after three years as a DJ trying to keep myself professional and wanting to get the next song right no matter what the girl currently onstage is doing to try to distract me (and they do try...that can be tough), and having painted on women in most intimate fashion about 500 times, I have developed the ability to keep the sexual side of me in a box so that I can work effectively no matter how good the woman looks. Noone can believe this, especially with the painting, but how the hell can you paint something cool when all you can think about is how nice her breasts or whatever look...

    I have lost two jobs because of dating one of the dancers, so I can attest to its being a lousy idea. The first time it took a while, but the job was hell before I eventually lost it. The woman was absolutely beautiful, physically as perfect as I have ever seen, and we had a working rapport as close as I have ever had with any dancer. And by God, she could be a sweetheart sometimes! When she came onto me I was powerless to resist. But her boyfriend, the arrogant little schmuck, was in a band, friends with the manager, the band got hired for New Years Eve, and I had to be the DJ for that night, in spite of my attempts to avoid it.

    Well, I got through that, though it was one of the worst nights I've had as a DJ, and a rotten way to bring in the New Year. But the manager's girlfriend who danced there had a crush on the woman, like everyone else, and suspected we had hooked up in spite of our trying to keep it a secret (my lover didn't want her Bfriend who was there all the time to find out). She then began a campaign to turn everyone in the club against me, and succeeded in convincing her boyfriend/manager that I was a lousy DJ.

    This was in a club which didn't give a damn about the girls, and had a bunch of low-lifes coming in anyway, so my tendency to talk directly to the dancers onstage and my unusual verbal skills were not appreciated from the beginning--after several months of this I was finally replaced with a lame-ass drunken idiot that all the girls hated, which didn't help me feel any better. Not only that, but while I was still there the dancer I had had the affair with would get jealous (even though all this bullshit going on had kept us from continuing the affair) whenever I seemed to be getting along well with any of the other dancers, and then she wasn't a sweetheart at all, LOL. After a depressing month or so, I got another job making more money, at a place where my unusual style was appreciated.

    After a little over a year at this place, which was having trouble when I started, I started making more money than I had doing this anywhere else, the women there and the customers all loved me, and I was the king (dubious prize that) of this little overgrown superficial beach town. BUT...

    The manager of this place, who had it all wired for sound and video, so he could whack off at home while watching the dressing room tapes and hear exactly what I thought of his pathetic, miserable, paranoid ass every time he pissed me off (the booth was wired too), had a rule about the DJ staying in the booth, so he could be free to harass the girls with requests for blowjobs, etc. As I must maintain a direct tap on the heart of what is going on at all times with the dancers and the crowd, in order to be most effective; and as I was making the little bastard a pile of money, my simply ignoring the stupid rule was ok, UNTIL...

    I started hitting it off with a woman who had spurned his advances, and through his wiretaps and the gossip which invariable will circulate, no matter how discrete you may be, he found out. Whereupon, he not only started trying to enforce the rule keeping me in my little cage (I ignored his attempts but this really pissed him off), but started adding new, contrived, and ridiculous rules just to piss me off and get me to quit. Finally I told him to cut back my nights, so he hired this idiot who drove half our girls away, and half our business, on the other 5 nights of the week. He then steadfastly ignored the fact that not using me more was costing us all money, which everyone but him was well aware of, and blamed it on ME, of course. After a couple months of this, you guessed it, I was fired...

    Now I am working in a club where the managers, bouncers, and one of the other DJs routinely hit on the women, generally without success. This of course does nothing to help the place, which is having trouble anyways. I am trying to resist all temptation to do so myself. But after almost three months there I am developing a very good rapport with the dancers, and powerful temptation indeed is all around. Thus far I have been successful, even spent the night with one without sex taking place (she was scared that a dangerous and obsessed customer would mess with her). I know I can control my own impulses, but I am single now, and vulnerable to the increasing chance of one of them making me an offer which may be very difficult to resist. Since I have been devoting myself to making this place work, my social life outside the club is almost nonexistent, and this makes it worse.

    The problem is, we are in an industry which creates sexual fantasy, and we are, after all, only human. It can be very hard indeed not to succumb to our own creation...

    Djoser


    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

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    Veteran Member Nichole's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dating the DJ?

    I know what happens to the other 25%! They date, they fuck, she gets knocked up and then everything gets screwed up!
    You ask why it happens if we all say it is a bad idea. A temporary bout of bad judgement! It happens.
    Visit http://www.midwestdancewear.com for a great selection and price for all your dancewear, lingerie, and shoe needs!

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    Default Re: Dating the DJ?

    Most of us have swung around this pole at least once, as a learning experience, because most of us here have been in this business a while. That being said, most of us also have the perspective to know this is a very BAD idea.

    First off, if you've got a boyfriend, that's where your head and heart needs to be, unless it isn't really committed. Secondly, as with any job, it's simply not wise to "shit where you eat" (please pardon the crudity). Last but not least, assuming the first two things don't stop you, don't date your DJ until you start working at a club where HE DOESN'T!!!

    I've only seen this scenario work out once - and the guy and gal were married to each other BEFORE they started their respective jobs at the club, and even so they still worked opposing shifts except when a DJ failed to show up for an assigned shift.

    McCain

  24. #24
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    Default Re: Dating the DJ?

    Is this just limited to the DJ. Does the same rationale apply to all the staff. I've always been curious, is there a hierarchy in the guys who work in the club in terms of dating. For example, is the vip manager a bigger catch than the bouncer or bartender, or is it simply based on who the hottest guy is in the club.

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    Default Re: Dating the DJ?

    Seems to really depend on the motivations of the girl who is eyeballing her coworkers. Obviously, if a girl was motivated by seeking preferential treatment of some kind at work, that would dictate who she would pursue.

    If it's just a matter of simple attraction, I suppose it would be whichever guy seemed to mesh best with what she desired in a man.

    McCain

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