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Thread: When is it okay to be rude to a dancer?

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    Default When is it okay to be rude to a dancer?

    Before you jump on me, here's my story: the other day I was in a club when a girl walked up to me and started a conversation asking if she knew me. When I said no, her response was "You people look all alike." I'm a professional latin who's not use to hearing such backhanded racial slurs. I played it cool and ended the conversation and let her walk away without letting her know what I really thought of her.

    Later, I laughed about it with some of the other girls - she was new and with an attitude like that she won't be around for long.

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    Featured Member LEIGH_LANDON's Avatar
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    Default Re: When is it okay to be rude to a dancer?

    you handled it well with class, attacking her for her remark would have put you at her level - and obviously you are well above that.
    People like her, make their own hell. Just think she has to wake up every morning - disappointed yet again that she is STILL herself, what a drag. LOL!
    LIVE LONG & PROSPER!
    Leigh Landon

    Never explain yourself to anyone, because the person who likes you doesn't need it and the person that dislikes you won't believe it.

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    Default Re: When is it okay to be rude to a dancer?

    When do you think it is okay to be rude to a person? Just because someone is a dancer doesn't mean the 'rules' change. I don't believe you should be rude to anyone unless you have tried all other options.

    I second Leigh. You dealt with it well. You didn't lower yourself to her level, and diffused the situation without being rude.

    You could have called her on her comment politely and firmly, but that would open up a whole another can of worms. And I wouldn't bother doing that unless it is with a person you have to be in contact with regularly, like a work colleague.

    She just lost a paying customer. Karma.

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    Default Re: When is it okay to be rude to a dancer?

    Unbelievable! I think you're justified in being rude to anyone when they crack a racial slur.

    As far as when it's OK to be rude to a dancer, my first thought when I saw that topic was, "well, when she's rude to you." Of course, we have to be nice to the customers whether they're rude or not. At least we all have the option of walking away!

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    Default Re: When is it okay to be rude to a dancer?

    Sorry if this isn't quite on topic, but I think its close enough. As a customer I always try to be polite to the dancers, but what if the dancer will just not take no for an answer when she asks for a dance. There is one dancer at a club I have been to that just will not accept that I do not want a dance from her. This has happened on more than one occasion at the same club with the same girl. The last time (incedently the last time I went to this club) I had to deny her for about 5 minutes straight. She even went so far as to suggest that my friend pay for the dance for me. I know towards the end, my tone and attitude towards her was becoming very rude, to the point that I had to flat out say I did not want a dance from her specifically, and yet she still persisted. I like the club, because it is a bit more upscale than most near me, but I don't like being harassed as a customer, it can really ruin the mood. What would be the best way to handle a situation like this without being an ass?

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    Default Re: When is it okay to be rude to a dancer?

    I have had customers in this situation make sure that they keep me around to ward off the dancers they don't want. You can say, "I'm only having dances from (girl or girls names) tonight."

    If that girl really can't take a hint (and it sounds like she can't) maybe you can ask your waitress to keep her away from your table.

    And, of course, paying her to go away can work. Slip her a small tip and say, "Look, we really aren't interested. Go make some money from the rest of the crowd."

    Yeesh, sorry about the super-persistent dancer. Most of us know instantly if a guy doesn't want us at his table.

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    Default Re: When is it okay to be rude to a dancer?

    Merely,

    I gotta agree with you. Just this weekend I was out.This girl asked for a dance. So I said OK, hadn't been to a club in 3 months. And didn't see her before, so she was new so I said yes. She then started talkin about about getting more for doing a deal for 3 songs for 100 bucks. Which still doesn't make sense to me in anyway. So the dance ended. And she stood in front of me> I gae her the mney and went to grab my phone off the table and she was still standingin the way. I was trying to be polite. Gave her the usually hug and that was it. A half hour later she came by me again with that samw 100 "deal". So I politely said "no thanks". She kept pushing the issue. (I'm a patient guy and will let alot of things fly before I get pissed, but, when I do I have been known to blow my top). Anyways she kept at it, trying to grab my hand and lead me to the dance room. I kept saying no. Finally 3-4 mins into I had to litterally pull my hand back and sd "No I don't want a dance from you so you can rip me off" Loudly so the immediate people around could here. Finally she left. I never have done anything like this. ANd looking back I don't feel bad.


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    Default Re: When is it okay to be rude to a dancer?

    I firmly believe if someone is being rude to your face, better turn and walk away. Otherwise you may be opening the door for someone who wants to have a full blown argument, of worse yet fight. It's kinda like road rage these days, ok pull out infront of someone...ooops. They flick you off, i would never do it back, or start yelling. People get killed for that crap! And you never know when some one is not in the right frame of mind. (drugs.) She may very well have hit you. You did the right thing. Walk away. By doing so you just shut the door in her face. And she feels out of control now, because she got no responce from you. Pamela

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    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: When is it okay to be rude to a dancer?

    Same as when it is okay to be rude to any other person. Which is rarely. It is best, even when someone is rude to you, to disengage from the situation (sometimes it's hard). Also, you might consider things from her point of view. I mean, maybe her mother died that week. Maybe she needs a lot of money for medication for her child etc. I know the rules say leave it at home, but sometimes, again, it is hard and people slip.
    Note: this is not in reference to the racial remark. I cannot think of any possible reason for that.

    Jenny
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    Veteran Member Theresa's Avatar
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    Default Re: When is it okay to be rude to a dancer?

    LOL, you shouldn't have felt bad. I definitely have some pushy coworkers so I feel for what you guys are saying. I have this one guy who travels a lot, but when he comes to town he always comes to my club, his purpose being to see ME. So the last time he came to town, I was sitting with him and his friend and then it was my turn to go on stage. So when I left I guess this one girl went up to their table and was harassing them to buy a dance from her. When my customer politely responded, "I am here to see Theresa," the girl was like, "Well, do you want a dance anyway?" When my customer came up to tip me on stage he was like "help me!" He didn't want to be rude, yet he definitely did not want this girl at his table. But I guess there are times when being rude is the only way to get your point across!

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    Featured Member aggieed's Avatar
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    Default Re: When is it okay to be rude to a dancer?

    It amazes me how some men and women just don't remember that "no" means "no."

    Off course, racial comments of any kind should not be tolerated.
    I'm a simple man, making my way through the universe.

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    Default Re: When is it okay to be rude to a dancer?

    Ed sweeite, where's that email you promised me? ???

    On topic, it's never good to be rude to anyone, but sometimes people just refuse to accept a negative answer, and they do so trying to bully you into giving in to them. In those times, they make normal rules obsolete, and you have to be rude to let them know you aren't giving in.

    Racial slurs are never acceptable, but that situation was handled perfectly. No need to worsen the situation by lowering to her level. I can see how you would want to cast off good behaviour and let the racist know how you felt, but it's not necessary - her poor attitude will ensure she loses plenty of customers.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Featured Member aggieed's Avatar
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    Default Re: When is it okay to be rude to a dancer?

    Oops...sorry. I've been busy working on some other stuff. Lots of things on my mind lately...

    I'll try and get you that e-mail I promised the first part of this next week!
    I'm a simple man, making my way through the universe.

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    Senior Member witt's Avatar
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    Default Re: When is it okay to be rude to a dancer?

    Last time I went to a club I had a problem with an overly agressive dancer wanting to do more than dance. I had had good day at work and wanted to go to the club and share the wealth a little. As soon as I found table and sat down this girl( to me she looked about 16 and that made me nervous) sat down long ways on my lap. She whispered in my ear "are you a cop ?" and then preceded to ask me three or four different times to leave the club with her. When I would say no she would just call me shy or say don't you want to have an adventure ? I could not just walk away without dumping her on the floor, and I would not do that so I just had to sit there and listen to her. Luckily soon she got paged to go to the DJ booth so I could get out.

    On the way out her friend who was sitting part of the time stopped me and ask if I could remember her phone number incase I changed my mind. I turned my back on her and walked away.

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    Default Re: When is it okay to be rude to a dancer?

    when they try to hustle me i get rude

    padding tab lying about amount of dances or buying drinks for everyone in the club on my tab
    The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette
    a clear conscience is a sign of a bad memory

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    Featured Member aggieed's Avatar
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    Default Re: When is it okay to be rude to a dancer?

    Yeah, then he becomes wanna_be_rude!

    ***cough***Glamour Girls***cough***

    Just giving you a hard time, big bro...I have the same sort of attitude about Penthouse here in Austin...but that didn't have anything to do with a credit card...
    I'm a simple man, making my way through the universe.

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