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Thread: Boyfriends

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    Default Boyfriends

    I posted a note a few days ago asking about what's going on at the clubs in Columbia, Missouri. No resposes yet so I guess it's off the beaten path for dancers on this board.

    I'm new to this site, although I've been dancing for about 14 months and it's seems the preferable way for me to make money while I'm going to school. Aside from the usual problems with rude customers, I've had no problems other than boyfriends who want me to quit because they're jealous of other guys seeing me topless and the lapdances I do. I just tell them it's not their perrogative to tell me how to make a living. The good ones get it and the others leave.

    I would guess others of you have run into similar problems with your work and boyfriends being compatible. I'm lucky because I don't presently have a serious relationship and don't plan on on one ("best laid plans...." and all LOL). I saw a great entry by McCain on this subject and wondered if there are any other ideas for handling BF's. I realize that's a broad question, but I'm new and would like any feedback. Thanks.

    Michael

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    Member AutumnSexyBottom's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boyfriends

    Boyfriends...that is a topic all it's own. Just stick to your studies and if the right one comes along you will know. Just don't settle for less.
    Like a soul without a mind, like a body without a heart....I'm Miss America. (Massive Attack)

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Boyfriends

    Durig my dancing career, the guys I have dated have always known I was a dancer before we got involved and therefore have been able to make up their minds well in advance. I guess I have been lucky. I can't imagine putting up with any nonsense from a guy about my job. I truly believe that a guy that was not cool with my job would wind up with problems in other areas with me as well (not the least of which would be in the sack).
    I know plenty of dancers with bad boyfriends, but I also know many with cool, sweet and supportive guys that have their own thing going. I think a really important factor is that your man needs to have his own career - if he has something to focus on in his life and is doing something fulfilling, he's probably a confident, self-assured guy that can trust you and enjoy you.
    I consider myslef lucky - I have a fabulous relationship that started out as a fling and sloooooowly evolved into more when we were ready for it to do so. Since we never rushed to ratchet up the commitment level, we've been able to feel as free as we need to. Plus we were friends for a long time before we dated.
    I know several girls who actually met good guys in the club - one thing about dating a guy you met at the club, he knows what you do and is cool with it already.
    As far as handling one that you have, gosh, I don't think you should embark on a relationship with anyone that exhibits adverse reactions to your work. You should let your partner know that he and he alone is the one you choose to spend your time with, but this is something that all good girlfriends and not just strippers do.

  4. #4
    Pamela
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    Default Re: Boyfriends

    Hi, i had to make a very hard choice, BF or job. I chose my job (s) i do phone sex and webcam too when i feel like it. I loved him, but had to take care of me and my child. We talked and tried to reach an agreement. His version was get a "real job." That was a real wake up call, and the fact that i may make more money than him, was an issue. I made a choice, i am happy with it. I could not ask him to buy me the car i want, or support my shopping habit..Lol.
    I will wait until the right person comes along who accepts me for what i do. I will not explain myslef over and over again. Been there. I am at a point where in a couple years or sooner i may quite dancing. But not phone sex! Webcam is just fun for me and money when i want to play. I don't take it as serious as i used to. But a love in my life....Oh yes. I will wait, and keep my eyes and ears open. He HAS to accept me, not change me. Pamela

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    Veteran Member hollyday's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boyfriends

    im so right there with u pamela
    i left my guy last may...and a lot of it had to do with my job (among other things)...i'd rather be me and happy then try and pigenhole myself into something that just isnt my lifestyle right now...some day when u don't want to dance it's going to be when your ready
    not when someone tells u to
    boyfriends are a pain in the ass anyway, but thats just my opinion
    good luck hun
    blessed be

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    Featured Member Devastating Divyne's Avatar
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    Default Columbia, MO clubs

    I missed the whole think about columbia clubs, but I can probably help here. Here's the deal: Neither are "high-class big city type gown clubs". They r not rattraps, but they are small town missouri clubs. Vogue has a better reputation than Regina's. Here's why: The manager at reginas told me and I quote" well, so what my girls might suck a little dick from time to time to make extra money but, other than that they are all pretty nice girls. The deal is tipout around 25 or 30, dj tip negotiable, sell ladies drinks $25 worth i think, and u pay either five or ten dollars out of every dance which I believe are 20 and 25. Management is nice, but hmm with statements like that............ Club is pretty small one stage at back with one pole, but ceiling is high and lighting is good, dj is awesome and works hard for girls.
    The Vogue: pretty big for the area and is packed wall to wall on a consistent basis. Security watches vips to keep down the crap. Payout about the same,but I'm not sure if u pay a per dance fee or not,but dances are 20 or 30, and 10 only on mondays. Pretty solid nice place with good management. Stages, one in middle of room with large round support beam running through middle, way too large for pole work, other stage runway style and length with two clear fiberglass waterpoles and one brass pole in between these two.
    Nething else, just ask or send me a private message. Also, Lake of the Ozarks is pretty close as well and there are two clubs in boonville. Hope this helps u.
    "Come what may although I often say realities come from dreams, but approach all lies with open eyes because NOthing in this world is EVER ALL it seems."

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    Member Itchy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boyfriends

    [hide]Ummm, Divyne ... oops, hu?[/hide]

    I have seen so many girls over the years who end up with a boyfriend that used to be a customer and the guy changes the rules on them. All of a sudden, the dancing is NOT okay. And a lot of those guys aren't thinkin' too far ahead, 'cause they either don't have a job or have a crappy one. Bad scene.

    But I sure wouldn't want to discourage an entertainer hooking up with a customer. I started seeing a girl that worked at a club because she invited me to celebrate my birthday with her. I had known her a year or so and thought she was great, but it never occured to me she might be interested (well, she was just being friendly, but it developed quickly after that).

    Anyway, I was worried she might ask me to quit going to the clubs, but she was okay. I even asked myself how I would feel if we started getting serious -- I mean, this girl really loved her job, not just the money. It never came to that. I discovered I really loved her job too (not the dough, I have a nice business). I actually enjoyed watching her work. Of course, I wasn't obvious about it -- didn't want the customers to think I was strange -- and we never acted like BFGF in the club so as not to intimidate customers (well, okay, ONCE we got carried away).

    The point is, it worked. Up until the time came to realize after she got her MA in education and wanted to persue her phd, be a substitute teacher and dance at the same time -- we knew she couldn't do all that in Reno. It was hard, maybe harder for me than her, but she moved to AZ and then So. CA and we lost track. But it worked well while we were together and there were no jealousies between either of us. I trusted her because I knew her so long before we got together and she trusted me I think.

    Still, it's tough for a lot of couples where one works in the industry and the other doesn't. I dated or "saw" a few girls for a while, mostly as friends, but I had more difficulties keeping similar hours. And I just never made that kind of connection again.


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    Featured Member Devastating Divyne's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boyfriends

    The thread began with the following statements : *I posted a note a few days ago asking about what's going on at the clubs in Columbia, Missouri. No resposes yet so I guess it's off the beaten path for dancers on this board.*

    No, not oops, I choose to respond to the first topic michael mentioned and not the boyfriend stuff b/c i am familiar with the area she mentioned and have no comment about the boyfriend thing.
    "Come what may although I often say realities come from dreams, but approach all lies with open eyes because NOthing in this world is EVER ALL it seems."

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    Member Itchy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boyfriends

    Oh, then the oops is on me. I'm sorry.

    GOD I hate gettin' old. :-/


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    Default Re: Boyfriends

    Pamela-i can really relate to being told to get a "real job". What in the hell is that suppose to mean? What we do is very REAL! I know my boyfriend loves me but I get that a lot from him. He tries to make my job out to be some kind of "activity" of sorts that only girls that are "lazy" can do. I drive over an hour to and from work 4 nights a week working 8 hour shifts. I work very hard-i hustle and rarely ever take breaks.

  11. #11
    Pamela
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    Default Re: Boyfriends

    GothicViolet,
    i am with you, and that was the ending issue for me. As i work at a hospital as well...he meant stick with my "real job." There will always be guys who don't want GF or wifes showing off their body, only to them. But i'll be damned if he was going to buy my car or pay my bills. I had to chose a life with out him. Pamela

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