Hi,
I got a GF that she wants to be a stripper, but i am affraid of losing her, and i am a little jealous about it!
should i say yes to her! how can she and i handle this?
Hi,
I got a GF that she wants to be a stripper, but i am affraid of losing her, and i am a little jealous about it!
should i say yes to her! how can she and i handle this?
Why would you lose her? If you do, your relationship wasn't that strong.Hi,
I got a GF that she wants to be a stripper, but i am affraid of losing her
I'm sure she wants your approval but she shouldn't need your permission.should i say yes to her! how can she and i handle this?
Jealousy might be a problem but remember -- stripping is just a job. She can make great money, buy a car, save for a house, and go to school full-time. This is a job that can only be done for a limited amount of years. If she allows it to become her lifestyle instead, let her go.




Leon dont be afraid. That's you girl. Maybe you should go to a couple strip club which is a club that invites women when escorted by a man. You and your girlfriend should. See how the men, manager, barmaids, etc treat the dancers. Look act how the dancers act towards the customers. If they letting men touch them where ever tell your girl to stay away. If the manager or bouncer are in control and look out for all the girl that is the kind of club you would want your gf to be at.
You need to talk to your gf about how you are feeling, but dont stop her and let her feel dirty or a slut for want to experience it. Maybe she wont like it. Only time would tell. Hay that should be quote![]()
tini absolutely right. when i told my ex BF he said he didn't think it was right for me besides the fact he just didnt want me to for fears of losing me (and he loves going to SCs never with me tho) but he lost me anyway cuz he couldnt be supportive. the BF i have now is very supportive and feels secure about us and knows it's just business for me, money for us to persue our dreams to take a cruise. i happier now so i'm glad i listened to my heart. and this is something that i been thinking about for years. i had to leave the people that were bringing me down. dont make her feel bad for it, it doesnt mean she dont love you, it may be somethin she just wants to try. there are a lot girls that quit after a week. and if its something she likes and if that cause probs in the relationship it might be somethin you both can work on and if she's the right girl for you y'all should be allright. as with any conflict of interest if you can just talk it out without placing any guilt trips on each other...stripping's no different from a lot jobs. work is work. girls that dont know that get in trouble. and i love my man that much more for sticking by side and i feel safer doing it cuz he's got my back.
Should you say yes to her? Well, your options are thus: you can express your opinion respectfully and be supportive of her decision (whether or not she agrees with you); you can "put your foot down" and try to control her or manipulate her; you can break up with her and tell all your friends she was a slut. There are variations, but these are essentially it. Personally I go for the first one. There are no guarantees in life. You might lose her if she becomes a dancers, and you might lose her if she doesn't. Or you might get married and be in love until you are old and wrinkly. I mean nobody here can tell you your girlfriend will never leave you. We can tell you though, that relationships formed in the club, while legitimate in their way are not usually a threat to relationships outside the club. She may be friends with or like some customers, but it is unlikely she will leave you for one of them.
Just my opinion.
Jenny
I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth
Hi Leon, The choice is hers. Talk to her about dancing, ask alot of questions, don't judge her, call names, keep your cool. Know when she gets off work and pick her up, if that makes you feel more comfortable. Gain knowledge of the business. Is there a reason she wants to be a dancer? Find out. Money issues, school.ect. Knowledge is power. And i don't think you should be left out in the dark. It's your decision too (for your life) If you want to suport her or move on. Don't put you or her in an uncomfortable situation. I lost a BF of 4 yrs because of my dancing/phone sex. I respected him. But right now i am not an executive secretary. Best bet for you...talk to her freely about your feelings..and listen to hers as well. That is where i failed my ex, i should have talked to him, i did not so i pretty much forced a decesion on him it seemed when we talked a few months later. Good luck!
PS you know her, and to feel jealous is normal to a degree. A job change or taking on a job period is stressful enough. Support each other!!! Lotsa luck to you both, Pamela
I have danced for about 3 years and been married for almost 6 years. My husband is very supportive. He used to be jealous that someone would come in the club and sweep me off my feet. But, clearly, that hasn't happened yet! I took time off to have a baby and he was so anxious for me to go back to work! Once you get accustomed to the money you miss it! He works a good job, but likes going out and buying whatever he wants(with in reason!) with out worrying. Hope this helps!
Visit http://www.midwestdancewear.com for a great selection and price for all your dancewear, lingerie, and shoe needs!




First, your jealosy is probably misplaced. RARELY does a girl end up dating someone she meets at a club (LOL... except for another dancer!!!). The truth is, nearly EVERY girl I've met in a club NEEDS to keep her personal life very separate from her dancing life. Girls who don't put up a big, thick wall like that end up going totally bonkers pretty quickly. Remember that dancing is a fantasy world -- that's what attracts the customers. A dancer's on-stage persona is no more her real life than the people who dress up in Mickey Mouse costumes at Disney Land. Get it? Anyway, her working at a SC is no more a threat to your relationship -- and probably less -- than her working at a fast-food joint.
The sex was so good, the neighbors needed a cigarette!
http://susanfromseattle.wordpress.com
http://www.ksexradio.com/images/fans/susan_with_hat.jpg
Leon Leon Leon. I give you credit for at least being honest enough to admit that you are jealous. I really feel that you have to let people do whatever they want to do. If you try to keep her from dancing chances are she will begin to feel angry and stiffled, and then maybe you'll lose her anyway. Try to support her, go to her audition and rub her feet when she gets home and she's yours forever!


OMG!! Girl, I don't know why the clubs I have been at seem so different than the ones everyone else seems to be visiting!! Not only do 90% of the dancers I know DATE people from work, they have married them!!!!First, your jealosy is probably misplaced. RARELY does a girl end up dating someone she meets at a club (LOL... except for another dancer!!!).
Confused......
MissB
Must be an Akron thing Missbehavin'; I've had the same experience. I've read at least a dozen posts here saying dancers don't date customers and I've been going hmmmmm, they do around here. I've dated dancers, a couple of my friends have dated dancers, many of the dancers at the clubs I go to have dated customers, and more than a few of the married dancers are having affairs with customers.
thank ya every1!(i am not native american so a dont know what is ESCORT or like that!!!!) Pamela, why this job? isnt it the need of attracting others attensions?(she is a student of law and has a job not equal but can be comparable to the earnings that is expected of dancing)! i guess her new GFs changed her opinion! she thinks like she loves 1 person but if others like her so she can use them!(being a guy i think most of guys because the think shit, because i havent heard of dancing in brothels) i have read some of qoutes of dancers about the shit that happens in clubs( i know that some of these are in general and might not happen about her, besides i have got a lot about dancing from qoutes in this forum but i am not convinced to accept that, i know she dosnt need ma permission, but we usually talk about the dicisions that can affect our relation) my question is this: does dancing changes the way she thinks about our relation? (what i want from her is not sex or watching her nude) when she dose things like woman do (preparing food or cleaning the house) i love her more and makes me try ma best to afford a living, because we are gonna marry!





Leon, dancing is a career. My fiance TOTALLY understands the business and if he goes in a club when I am workingit is a busy club where NO ONE knows he is with me. We ignore each other because no guy wants to buy a dance from a girl who has someone.
I know Leon you don't really think that dancers are interested in customers. It is a job and we are there to sell as many dances as we can. There s no need to be jealous. What you need to do is visit various clubs , have several drinks, buy a few dances and get to understand our jobs better.
The club is not a party house for us. It is work. Giving a customer a hug or giving him a grinding lap dance is meaningless. After we sell as many dances as he will buy we go on to the next guy.
The money sh makes dancing is your money too. The role of a good boyfriend/fiance/ or husband is to help her save and manage her money andbe supportive as her financial gain is yours too.
Buy a few dances at a local club, pay the girl and she will say thank you and not even think about you anymore, but be on to the next guy trying to sell him. it is only fun for the customers, not the employees.
How do you view customers at your job? Do you think about them constantly after you finish conducting business?
Get to understand the club business and for Gods sake don't be jealous of a customer. A table or lap dance is only a way for us to be paid.
many club managers an DJ's are involved with dancers in serious relationships. There is no jealousy over giving a table/lap dance. The only time jealousy might arise is if the DJ or manager is messing around with another dancer. That kind of behavior can happen in any traditional office job too.
You have nothing t worry about with the customers. Help her be a good salesperson and help her look her best in costume and appearance and be very supportive of her becauseher success is your success.
Good Luck!
No offense, but these sound more like comments a pimp would say.The money she makes dancing is your money too. The role of a good boyfriend/fiance/ or husband is to help her save and manage her money and be supportive as her financial gain is yours too. ... Help her be a good salesperson and help her look her best in costume and appearance and be very supportive of her because her success is your success.
A man should have his own job, not "share" the money his girlfriend makes. Too many dancers wind up supporting unemployed (or underemployed) men. It's easy to find a male money sponge. Dancers need to hold on to their own money.
Boyfriends should be emotionally supportive but they shouldn't expect any kind of financial return. Any man who expects his woman to give him part of her dancing money is a pimp.





Real women don't have pimps. When you are in a committed relationship with anyone your money is pooled together. Anyone in a real relationship has joint money and joint goals.
A relationship in which everything is kept separate is not a real one. It has nothing to do with a partners job.
Two people who separate everything don't have a TRULY committed relationship. Joint bank acounts, joint home and car ownership. Does that ring a bell.
That is where I am coming from. A relationship is about two people working together to make it. What's his is mine and what's mine is his.





I am not saying that a dancer should give part of her dancing money to a boyfriend.
If two people are in a committed relationship all their money and lifestlyes should be intertwined. I don't like the word pimp. Love is about sharing and woking together to achieve joint goals.
If they are both serious about each other then I am sure they have joint possessions and obligations already. What I said has nothing to do with him sponging off of his girlfriends money. His money is hers too if tey are truly committed.
Leon yes, i will be honest with you, i love attracting men!!! And the money is great. Plus i have a good body to show for all the exercise i get from dancing. You are an old fashoined guy it sounds like, and that is great!! Do you know how many women would like to stay home and cook dinner and have children for their husbands? Alot of my friends probably would. You sound hurt and honest. You say you talk to her, talk some more. Bring up topics that are bothersome to you. And ask her her feelings about the situation. Get familiar with strip clubs with her. Don't ever hide your true feelings, it will breed future problems. I have to say if you can't accept her decision move on. Or accept her choice. I only hope the two of you can work something out where you feel comfortable with her choice. Luck and happiness...PamelaIt's up to you and her, only. We can just give advice.





A lot depends on what kind of club she will be working at. I have gone out with several dancers I worked with, and never had much trouble with jealousy (except from them because of me maintaining a flirtatious relationship with the other girls as their DJ), until one of my girlfriends left the club we worked at (because the manager was jealous of us, LOL--and I wound up getting fired because of it anyway). We had always laughed together about the one old guy that came in his pants every time in VIP, but it was funny.
Then she started working in a full contact nude club where the guys got to feel her breasts and ass as part of VIP. Even that at first didn't bother me at all, until the night one guy's dick came out of his pants (some of these guys arrange themselves carefully in advance--no underwear, loose slippery pants, positioning themselves in the restroom first for maximum contact potential, etc.) and he came all over her where it counts. He was wearing those stretchy work out pants and had arranged himself, and it came out the top. Even though she was totally grossed out, leaped up immediately and spent 10 minutes straddling the sink in the dressing room, and was shaken up about it for a while after she got off work, this story managed to wake the ugly dragon of jealousy within me and it became a problem.
This club was open late, I would come in after my gig at my club, and the VIP areas were clearly visible from the rest of the club, so I could sometimes see the guys feeling her breasts and her rubbing her ass on their goodies. Usually it was allright, and I would just not look, talk to our friends who worked there, and have a good time regardless (one time I even broke a hundred dollar bill so a guy could get a dance from her). But a couple times I had to leave as I didn't want to see it or have to keep from looking in that direction.
Some clubs would be fine for keeping jealousy out of the picture, and you could actually feel pretty confident that your girlfriend was the object of hundreds of mens' fantasies, but came home to YOU every night. Now there's something you can feel good about. These are "no-contact" clubs, and you should be ok with her working in one of those. But some clubs have a very friendly VIP policy, and you might not like the fact that your girlfriend was rubbing her ass on a man's penis even if it was firmly enclosed in his trousers. Even though this means nothing to these women this can be difficult for some men to deal with, and there is nothing wrong with that. If it is a full contact club the potential for problems is much greater.
The other potential problem is that if she is inclined to party she will be very tempted to overindulge on a nightly basis. For those who can control this it is OK, but I have seen it do harm to some women who would end up getting intoxicated on drink and/or drugs every time they worked, and that is not a good thing. People with a tendency towards addiction should stay out of the entertaiment business, period. I have done every damned drug out there, and still do a few from time to time, but I never mix it with work, and actually have cut down on my intake of all stimulants even on my nights off. Others go the other way, and wind up in trouble...
It is her life and her decision, and any good relationship will provide the freedom for her to be an actress, provide a fantasy for others, and still be very much in love with you. The vast majority of dancers I have worked with who had boyfriends remained unquestionably faithful in spite of all number of offers to stray. But we are all only human, and you could not be blamed for having second thoughts about a career for her in full-contact clubs.
Just my perspective as a man and an industry insider...
Djoser
You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
Friedrich Nietzsche
Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
George Clinton
______________________________________


"when she dose things like woman do (preparing food or cleaning the house) i love her more"
Ummm...am I the only one who doesn't like this statement? Just my opinion.
MissB




Then she started working in a full contact nude club where the guys got to feel her breasts and ass as part of VIP. Even that at first didn't bother me at all, until the night one guy's dick came out of his pants (some of these guys arrange themselves carefully in advance--no underwear, loose slippery pants, positioning themselves in the restroom first for maximum contact potential, etc.) and he came all over her where it counts. He was wearing those stretchy work out pants and had arranged himself, and it came out the top. Even though she was totally grossed out, leaped up immediately and spent 10 minutes straddling the sink in the dressing room, and was shaken up about it for a while after she got off work, this story managed to wake the ugly dragon of jealousy within me and it became a problem.
Oh my I never heard of that.
Unfortunately, the truth is that a lot of dancers do have pimps. When I first found out I was shocked. But it doesn't change the truth.Real women don't have pimps.
Commited relationships do NOT require money to be pooled together. 20 years ago maybe, but not now.When you are in a committed relationship with anyone your money is pooled together. ... What's his is mine and what's mine is his.
Any pimp would applaud that statement. Except he would be taking her money and not sharing his. And occasionally they even spend the woman's money to buy her gifts.If two people are in a committed relationship all their money and lifestlyes should be intertwined. I don't like the word pimp. Love is about sharing and woking together to achieve joint goals.
They may have common assets/debts but that doesn't mean everything should be shared. I own my own house but I'm not going to put my boyfriend's name on it just because we are committed. He and I both work, we have our own money, and we work together to pay bills. He'll help me and I'll help him but neither of us take advantage of the other. We are equal. That's how it should be.If they are both serious about each other then I am sure they have joint possessions and obligations already. What I said has nothing to do with him sponging off of his girlfriends money. His money is hers too if tey are truly committed.
Please don't anyone take this the wrong way. I'm not implying that all boyfriends pimp their women, that is far from the truth. But it does exist and by telling a guy that his girlfriend's dancing will create money for him might put the idea in his head and start the ball rolling...
The money she makes dancing is your money too. The role of a good boyfriend/fiance/ or husband is to help her save and manage her money and be supportive as her financial gain is yours too.
I hope that I did not start this debate by saying that my husband likes going out and spending money on things. He works too and he always asks me before he spends money. We work together to pay for our house, cars, ect... and we save money too. I have my own account and he has his, but we transfer money freely between the two depending on which one needs it.
Visit http://www.midwestdancewear.com for a great selection and price for all your dancewear, lingerie, and shoe needs!




Very simple....
Be supportive of your gal's decisions, whether that is choosing to strip or work as a secretary or stay at home.
Be aware that you do have the right to express your concerns. You do not have the right to grant or refuse "permission".
Understand that if your girl would leave you for someone else, customer or otherwise, then you should not be wasting your time with her.
Have faith that if you treat your girl well, and she loves you, she won't leave you for someone else.
Realize the money she makes at work is her money to do with as she pleases, whether that be paying bills or buying new work outfits. It is not yours to demand, steal, connive, or anything else of that nature. She worked hard for that cash - if you don't believe, you get your butt up there and shake your thing pretty consistently for 4-10 hours in 6" heels. Report back the next day on how easy it is to walk when you wake up.
If your girl chooses to strip, and you stay together, don't knock her up unless she agrees to it before hand. (Don't ask why I threw that in).
These are some simple rules. They work well. Observe them.
As a side rule for those who may need it - if you are dating a girl who strips, and you are asking for her money to support a drug habit, then GET THYSELF TO REHAB. And for the girls dating these guys, GET THYSELF TO THERAPY AND A NEW MAN.
McCain





Sara, you are obviously the type of woman who enjoys total independence and who has never started from scratch with a man in a reationship and built a life together. You most likely have been in relationships in the past with guys who take and don't give so you have total discomfort being in a "pooled asset" relationship with joint bank accounts, joint home ownership etc.
While there is nothing wrong with that, it is not a phenomena of 20 years ago for a couple to work together in order to get ahead in life, especially if two people have plans of marriage in their future. Community property in marriage means just that, what is mine is his and what is his is mine and your man is there for you through good and bad and you are there for him the same way. If that level of trust does not exist, no relationship will last.
Your relationship is most likely one in which both of you give each other lots of space and don't intertwine your lives with each other totally. That is ok for some people who require lots of freedom and who are independent people, but for a man like Leon who is nervous that he may lose his serious girlfriend to another man if she has repeated connections with other men stripclub wise or other, the more they share and depend on each other the more trust the can have with one another.
Some guys are freeloaders fucking other men while their girl is at work and blowing her money while they hardly work or take care of the house. But Sara, EVERY man is NOT like that.
Most likely if Leons girlfriend dances full time she will earn twice as much as she does at her current job and probably twice as much as he does working for a paycheck.
If she saves the extra earnings so they can buy a home for example then they both have an investment in her dancing. One partner generally earns more than the other in any relationship.
You went out and bought a home on your own and I applaud you for that but most couples have to work together to accomplish such a task.
All I am saying is that every guy is not a rotten apple and we all know that dancing attracts some girls who love bad boys. But to say that any dancer who has a traditional shared relationship with her partner is involved with a pimp or is old fashioned is far from the truth.
thank ya very much! i guess trying to buy some dances sounds a little unfaithful to me! and i think sharing things is better than every1 having its own!(althoug i dont want her to give me money, i got my own job!) but thank ya again for your opinions!(gave me good views from dancing but still not convinced, i guess we see things very diffrerent, thats not the matter that customers dont know me, i dont like her to have a nasty customer)
Bookmarks