okay this board needs some action! anyone wanna share their most embarrassing moment dancing...?
ever fart on a customer or something?![]()
ladies, do tell

okay this board needs some action! anyone wanna share their most embarrassing moment dancing...?
ever fart on a customer or something?![]()
ladies, do tell
I wrote this on another board but I don't think
many saw it so I'm reposting it here:
Let me tell you about a really embarrassing thing that I saw happened to a gentlemen at a british pub. I don't think the man had ever been to a strip club, he just went in for a beer I think, and when the music started to beat, and the first dancer went into the bar, nude and gyrating wildly to get things started, he turned around, only to be VERY chocked at seeing a pair of nude tits 20cm or so in front of him.
He choked on his beer, got half a pint on his clothes and his false teeth came loose and LANDED ON THE GIRLS TITS.
After a few loong seconds he eventually said 'I lost me teeth' in heavy cockney accent, and the pub was filled with roars of laughter.
Thankfully, he had humor, and was able to laugh at it himself.
Throughout the afternoon, the girls always danced for him, and did not allow him to pay during the whip rounds, which is understandable as they will probably enjoy this moment for years to come.
A couple of the girls even gave him lap dances even though this is not normally 'on the menu' at that bar.

Once, after changing my costume and hurrying onto stage, I realized I had a tail. Some toilet paper was stuck in my thong. I just pulled it out and kept dancing...I didn't know what else to do. It's funny now, but then, I wanted to die.![]()
It wasn't a very busy night, but for some reason or other I was the only one getting tipped on stage, my head got so big as I noticed that by my forth stage all these grinning menwere coming up an tipping me and nobody eles. Our general manager was there (who by the way I have a major crush on) I was hopeing that he saw this and thought "Damn she's hot everyone wants her." Anyway he did, he walked over raised his hand to lead me off stage and says only "follow me" he takes me to the dressing room and says "your strings out"
p.s. tampax has the longest whitest strings on the market
As a customer I have had some embarrassing moments, but I can't repeat them on this forum, for fear of being flamed by the girls for my risque behavior.
But half of the fun of going to the Clubs for me, is getting to watch how the Dancers interact with the other Customers and vice versa.
Once a guy was getting a little to grabby, so the dancer flipped his glass of beer into his lap, and soaked his crotch. All the girls and most of the customers were laughing at the guy, as he walked out with a big old wet spot on the front of his pants. It looked just like he had p!ssed his pants!
Hi there,
what a fun board! I guess my most embarassing moment was when I was hustling a customer for a lap dance not too far from the main stage. the girl on the main stage was doing some pretty impressive pole tricks, and I guess the pole just started spinning too quickly, and one of her platform shoes flew right off her foot and hit me square between the eyes. I fell over onto the customer I was hustling. The girl on stage stopped dancing and ran over to me to see if I was all right. All eyes in the club were on both of us, and me with a big red mark on my face where her shoe had hit. I had to spend a few minutes in the dressing room to recover my dignity.
However the customer I was sitting with not only bought a dance he bought several, and kept checking to make sure that I was okay!
Years ago, when lap dancing was first ok'd here in Toronto, it was a time when you could work table dancing from the time you got there to end of your shift. I would have guys lined up outside the VIP just waiting for me. Well, this one particular day I hadn't even had time to change my tampon and I ended up bleeding on the guy. Then had to tell him why I couldn't dance for him anymore. Then had to tell the next guy who didn't want to wait long enough for me to go to the bathroom why I couln't dance for him either. Linda, I can so relate to your string story too. That happened to me once too. Saralee![]()
Years ago, I was in a club in downtown San Fransisco. It was a real dive as far clubs go. There was this one girl dancing on stage who decided to to leap onto the pole and twirl down with the pole clamped between her thighs. As she spun down, the skin of her thighs and the pole made this awful noise, sorta like the sound of naked skin peeling off a naughahyde couch on a hot summer day. Screeeeaaaaaayayayaayych. All the way down. The entire crowd flinched. A little like finger nails on a chalk board. So after she hit bottom and we finished cringing, she dances a few steps, and the DOES IT AGAIN!!! Of course to the same effect. I think it may have driven a few customers out into the night screaming. Talk about not reading an audience.




Oh, man.
Most embarassing moment dancing? The first club I worked at had a brass pole that was not properly secured in the ceiling. The damned thing always wobbled a bit. Well, one day I was doing a set, and my hands were sweating because it was pretty active set. Since it was a cowgirl set, I was wearing a hat. I went into a one-handed spin halfway up the pole (it was about 7 ft), while removing my hat with the other. Between the seat on my hands, and the shaking pole, I lost my grip and fell. I bounced TWICE on the hardwood floors. Maybe you wouldn't think it was so bad, but the place was PACKED!!! To top that off, I broke a rib in the process, and kept working anyways (hurt like a bitch!).
The positive side was that even though it was very embarassing and painful, a ton of guys tipped me big that evening, saying they were grateful that I was "out there risking life and limb" for their "entertainment". Who says Southern guys can't act like gentlemen?
Most embarassing moment as a customer:
Simultaneously sitting stageside, tipping, drinking, and trying to break up a fistfight between my date and the guy next to me who was hitting on me. Even the bouncer commented on it - said he thought it was clear that I could handle things, but that the guys were yelling at each other so loud that the whole club could hear it over the music. To give proper credit to the girl on stage, she did not miss a beat! She just swung over their heads and whatnot, and completely sidestepped the spilled beer.
Worst downside? Major buzzkill, and - dammit - I had to leave before blowing all my money on my favorite gal. The date got smacked upside the head for this measure of stupidity. (aside from the fact that it irritated me, he so easily could have been taken to jail).
By-the-way, I enjoy reading your posts.
The brass pole wobbles not because it is not secured enough but because it is hollow. There is a stronger metal pole on the inside that is bolted in place while the brass pole is just inserted on the outside (the brass is pretty thin).
I have brought home a pole from a club i used to work at and the manager, who has worked in Houston, New Orleans, and now owns his own club said that all the brass ones are like that.
Just a little FYI. I thought that it was an interesting fact.




ExDancer,
I agree that's true with most clubs. This one, though, honestly was not secured. It just exteneded up into a small hole in the ceiling - no bolts or anything. A week after I broke my rib, they finally had a maintenance man come in, crawl up into the crawlspace above the ceiling, and secure it. It *NEVER* shook that bad again.
On a side note, does anybody else really hate the fat, steel posts that some clubs have used in place of the skinny brass ones? I've seen it in two clubs so far, and I despise those things. You cannot get any grip on them for tricks!



o my god i have a few
once i was dancing for my regular customer and i went to swing my leg up over his head and i totally didnt clear it and kicked him straight between the eyesi didnt charge him for that song i felt so bad
i still dance for him once in a while but im not his reg girl anymore...
another time i was in the vip where there are 4 couches in a square and i went to put my hand back on the arm of the loveseat and misses and went ass over tea kettle totally nude![]()
luckily the other 3 girls in the room were my pals which made them laugh that much harder at me...oh well
gotta leave em laughing
blessed be


Okay, so not really MY embarrassing moment, but it was kinda embarrassing for all the dancers. I was auditioning a dancer, and I already knew that she was not going to get hired, but of course, I have to let her dance anyway (cuz the manager thinks he's God).
This ooooooooold dancer is up on stage, Payless heels on, full back panties (!) and a fringed t-shirt with beads on it...I am sooo not joking. She starts doing her thing....dancing, dancing. Puts her leg up on the railing going around the top of the stage. Puts her FINGERS up inside herself *deep breath* I was already on my way back to pull off stage just for that. Then, I noticed, her fingers were dark. She was bleeding on stage, and she had no idea (drunk? drugs? nerves?) she kept playing with herself....then touching the pole, the mirrored wall, the railing with her fingers. By the time I got her off stage, she had blood running down both of her legs.....what a day that was!
MissB




OMG.... these are some terrible stories. I don't have anything PERSONAL to add. However, a g/f told me of the time she was working her way thru college dancing. A group of professors came in celebrating one of them's birthday. Of course, you can see this coming, right? She was WORKING on campus for the birthday-boy professor!!!!! (No, he had no idea she danced). He took it all in stride, and never said a word about it to her ever again.
The sex was so good, the neighbors needed a cigarette!
http://susanfromseattle.wordpress.com
http://www.ksexradio.com/images/fans/susan_with_hat.jpg





One of my trademark stage tricks is crushing beer cans in my cleavage ... something I discovered by accident when I just stuck an empty can in there and paraded around the stage with it, but one time I happened to just press my elbows against the side of my breasts and WHAM flat as a forehead Fosters. Anyhow, I was on stage at a very classy club in Michigan and some of the regulars in the crowd who had seen me the night before started shouting for me to crush a beer can. So I grabbed the beer from one of the guys sitting stageside, stuck it in my cleavage and started parading around as usual ... so far business as usual ... BUT when I press in with my elbows to crush the can and finish the bit, instead of flattening, it shoots out of my cleavage like a rocket - it misses the heads of a couple of stageside guys by inches, flips end over end over the heads of guys on the club floor spewing beer all over the place, and lands with a thud ten feet from the stage. I figured I had pissed off virtually every guy in the club by soaking them down with beer ( turns out the can I picked was almost totally full as the guy had just popped the top before I grabbed it ). Fortunately, the guys went wild and started throwing tips at the stage!
I have a couple of embarassing moments from dancing. When I first started dancing, I bought this really heavy, chunky pair of shoes and I wasn't really used to them yet. When I was walking down the stairs to get to the main floor, I must have missed a step because I SLID down the last four steps and landed right on my ass. Luckily the only person who saw was the dj and he was too busy asking if I was alright to laugh about it.
Then, at a different club this one guy was tipping me while I was onstage, I had my back to him and swung my arm around and hit him right in the arm with my elbow. Seconds later blood started running out of his nose and all over his face. Some blood even dripped onto the stage, and the bouncer didn't clean it up until like 3 girls later. But the guy still bought some dances from me.![]()




I hadone like that over the summer.... Guys titting stage-side wasn't drunk, but a little tipsy, and I guess didn't hear me when I turned around and told him to watch out for my boots. Damn near broke his nose by accident with a stiletto-heel (think about how close that is to a guy's eye - YIKES!!!)... He still bought a lapdance from me, and actually became one of my regulars. But oh, he was in so much pain - that heel caught him full force....
I felt really bad about that one.
McCain
these postings are SO funny, I'm laughing aloud at some of them!
I've not had anything embarrassing happen to me, per se, but I've been witness to plenty of embarrassing moments! I'm sure that we've all run into guys who get "extra excited" at getting dances, ending up in an embarrassing "ending" in their pants. That's happened to a lot of the girls at our club, including me. But that's just more gross than embarrassing.
I did have a guy so drunk following me around the club into the dressing room, that eventually peed in his pants and got kicked out. And one time I had to stop a dance because another guy was so drunk sitting near us that he threw up. It was vile.
One night all the lights blew in the club, and the girls on stage, instead of *staying where they were*, tried to get off stage. Our stage is very precarious, and there are no handles down the stairs. All you heard was a whump-thwap, and the lights went on and both girls ended up legs up splayed in the most un-graceful way.
"You have no idea what a long-legged gal can do without doing anything." -Claudette Colbert
Oh boy do I have a few to add to this.
Embarassing moment #1
The first club I worked in had a pole that wasn't bolted in. It was just stuck in a hole in the stage and ceiling. This girl who did a lot pole work was swinging around, full force like usual. All the sudden, everyone hears a huge thud. The girl was gone--flew right off the stage and into the bar pit. Everyone runs over to check on her and there she is-naked-still clutching the pole which had been torn from the stage.
Embarassing Moment #2
Same club as above-a topless place. Many years ago, I had a few too many drinks and this guy wanted a 15 min dance. So I'm doing this lap dance and the motion is making me feel sick. I start gagging but try to hide it. My whole body is convulsing before I come to the realization that I'm going to puke. I ran out of the room naked---across the club, and to the bathroom. After throwing up, (like I said I was really drunk) I went back to the dance room and starting dancing again for this guy. I must have reeked like puke. That poor guy.
Embarassing Moment #3
This time it was the customer who was really drunk. He leans over to tip a girl on stage and starts projectile vomiting all over the stage. We had to have an "intermission" so the doorman could clean it up and boy was he angry.
Embarassing Moment #4
A fellow dancer of mine, new to the business at the time, had her period. We told her to just cut the string, which she did, but I guess she didn't change it soon enough. She gets a dance with a guy in a suit--a white dress shirt of course, and they both come out of the dance. He leaves and she comes into the dresing room. Everything seems fine until about a minute later when the guy comes complaining to the doorman that he can't go home to his wife because there's a streak of blood smeared on his shirt all over his stomach. So, the doorman gets sent to Walmart to buy the guy a new shirt so he can go home without getting in trouble.
Oh, those were the days. There's so much more where those came from. Anyone else have some to add to the list?
OMG these are soo funny and sooo gross at the same time. I love it!I don't have any stories but girls-keep em' coming!
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Lips, Hips, and Sugary Tits
I am naturally a brunette but like wearing a full platinum-blonde wig. I am usually careful to secure it with pins and keep it tight on my head, but one day as I was swinging around onstage, it just flew clean off and landed 6 feet away. This left my head covered with only a definately not-sexy wig cap (like a nylon stocking). I paused for just a minute, then yanked it all off with a big "what-the-hell" grin, shook out my natural hair, and finished the set. I got tips, a high-five from the manager, and everybody got a good laugh out of it. I wore my real hair for the rest of the day. But the DJ didn't let me hear the end of it for a long time... What a shock to all the guys who thought I was a natural blonde...![]()
The most shocking thing I've seen in a strip club was when I was with a bachelor party and it hit a club. Lots of guys going up and tipping 20's to the dancers on stage. That got the dancers very excited to see one of us move upto the stage. Then the shortest guy of our group went up to the stage with a fist full of 20's. The dancer saw him and really played to him and he went along with the act. The club cheered the two of them on. Great fun. Anyway, when he gets up to the railing, she pops up on the rim railing and twists in mid-air so she's now ass towards him and he's between her legs. He leans in to slip a 20 into her garter belt as she whips her head down to show how flexible she is and look at him between her legs.
BAM!!!
Their heads collide. She not only knocks him out cold but knocks herself out too. She crumbles to the stage and he goes sailing backwards and down onto the floor. You could literally hear everyone over the loud music gasp in unison.
A second later, both were attended to by a couple of the doctors that was in our party. Within a minute both were conscious and dazzled. Both embarrassed. However, shortly there after, she came out and took a bow to cheers of the club. Gave him a kiss and they both took a bow together to still more cheers. Then like a couple of twins (both having noticeable bumps on their heads), he paid for lap dances from her until our group left the club. Three days later, he shows up with her at a party.What a crazy world we live in.
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My first day I was trying that leg thing onstage, the one where you put your knees together dangle and swing one leg a bit then switch, the first guy that ever came up to tip me, I damn near kicked him in the head. Only missed by centimeters.
The second day dancing, after the first song ended, I ran behind the curtain and pulled off my top and booty shorts real quick ( was a newbie and hadn't learned how to make it look sexy yet) any how, I jumped back out onto the stage and realized my thong had been pulled completely to one side, and my entire pussy was showing. I work in a topless only club. I fixed it while still trying to be sexy by running my hand down there for a few seconds, then slowly pulling it back, and all the guy's started to yell to leave it alone, and let it hang out. I was hopeing no one had noticed. So much for that.
" Remember during each test there is some girl in Australia jealous of you who wants to do what you're doing."- Lilithmorrigan
" If you're young and sexy, why not spend a few years Shopping and Fucking? Life is short, but youth is shorter. Ride the wheels off, I say." - FeministStripper
ok the only embarassing thing that has happened to me was a planned ambush by the 2 dj's (one of which was my hubby...blade)at the very first club I had ever worked. For any saturday Night Live fans you will know the skit I am refering to( since I can not remember the name of the song it is from Night at the Roxbury) Well anyway I was up on stage dancing the first song ended and when the second one started (which was this particular song) the two of them with the whole sunglasses on and everything jump onto stage one on either side of me and start the whole bumping into me head bobbing thing, as i am dancing for the groom of a bachelor party that had come in. Needless to say in my heels I almost fell over from them bumping me and me trying not to piss my pants from laughing. The whole bar was in tears as was I. Good thing I have a sense of humor ( and expect things like that from blade)and well it also helped that I made about 100.00 in tips because of them!! Actually I miss that club since we were able to do things like that and have alot of fun.
I guess my most embarassing moment would be the whole string thing. After that happened to me once, one of the older girls told me about a nifty little cup called Instead. I LOVE it. No strings to worry about!
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