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Thread: does your BF tell U your hot like the customers do

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    Senior Member Neptune's Avatar
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    Default does your BF tell U your hot like the customers do

    I always thought I was very attractive in the face.
    But latley I'm starting to think that maybe I've overestimated myself????

    My BF told me last night that he never thought I was hott and never thought i was his type physically. He told me that I have angular features and not wholesome facial features. He told that my face doesn't exude health. He told me that if there were 100 guys in the room 6 men out of 100 would think i was one of the most beautiful women they have seen. He said for Cindy Crawford and Pam Anderson 30 out of 100 guys would think they are one the most beautiful woman they have seen.

    Honestly, i didn't think I was so low on the totem pole comparatively since Cindy and Pam aren't the most beautiful 'I've' seen, although- they ARE beautiful.

    He also told me that I look too much like a British girl since they have very flat cheeks. I didn't think I had such a flattish face like he seems to envision.

    I appreciate his honesty buut I'm upset that maybe I think I'm prettier than what other people actually see.

    Does your own boyfriend tell you how hott you are just like the customers do?
    thanks ~N

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    Veteran Member Topaz's Avatar
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    Default Re: does your BF tell U your hot like the customer

    neptune baby...

    if your boy friend is saying those things to you....then you need to remove yourself from that toxic situation...and find someone that will appreciate you and your beauty...

    or better yet...spend some time taking care of and loving yourself...then go out and find someone that will give you the love and support you need (and deserve)

    this is what i consider to be verbal abuse...

    Why do some people still have to fight...to get the same opportunities...that are given to others??...

    Look out for self...because noone else will...AND
    The greatest revenge in the world...is success...

    Reclusivness...is a good thing.

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    Default Re: does your BF tell U your hot like the customer

    [glow=red,2,300][quote]
    [shadow=red,left,300][/shadow][/glow]


    Topaz i think you are right on the money !!!!! and may i add emotional and mentally abusive too :o

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    Featured Member Veronika's Avatar
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    Default Re: does your BF tell U your hot like the customer

    I have to agree. It always seemed to me that when a guy starts going on that tack he's trying to take you down a notch to make himself feel better. Very toxic sounding to me.

    I would like to think that the partners we are with would be about making us feel good and concentrating on what they see as our attributes, not our faults! Oh, and then to start making up or searching for faults!! Uh uh...
    Currently dancing at the Men's Club of Reno, NV
    under the name of Veronica! I am a 2007 calendar girl for MCR, so message me if you want a calendar!

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    Senior Member Neptune's Avatar
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    Default Re: does your BF tell U your hot like the customer

    I asked his opinion about my level of attractiveness, and i guess he was quite honest about it. Does it make it verbal abuse?

    He also told me that if he didn't know me, he probably wouldn't give me a second look because I'm not what he finds attractive in a physical idealized sense compared to the sporty-very slim, small assed, round apple cheekboned, healthy wholesome looking girls he tends to be attracted to.

    Wht does that make me? Angular, unhealthy and witchy looking in the face? He also tells me that I don't have that smiley sexy dumb girl look he likes so much, (ie Paris Hilton) but I have an expression on my face that looks terrorized and confused, don't know which way to go kind of nervous look with no gimmer in my eye. He also tells me that i have a very unexpressive neutral look while relaxed where as the more attractive girls he likes are more filled with an air of confidence and expression.

    Does your boyfriends find you just as hott as the guys in the clubs find you?

    (I just thought that I was a bit hotter than this!)
    ~N

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: does your BF tell U your hot like the customer

    I have to agree with what the other girls said. The fact that you asked doesn't make a difference. If he went on THAT much and in that kind of detail about how UNattractive you are, seems to me he's got deeper issues than you need to be dealing with.
    It always seemed to me that when a guy starts going on that tack he's trying to take you down a notch to make himself feel better.
    My thoughts exactly.

    I don't think most bf's go on about what beautiful goddesses we are the way customers do, because the situation is different. Every guy I've been with has told me he finds me attractive, and exactly what he finds most attractive, but not in that 'you are soooo hot, you are a goddess' way that most customers do. If I had a bf telling me how UNattractive I am, especially the way your bf is telling you, I'd seriously question why he's with me in the first place, just before giving him the boot!

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Senior Member Neptune's Avatar
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    Default Re: does your BF tell U your hot like the customer

    I don't want him to think of me as a goddess by far, but my other bf's didn't find me as 'average' as this current one I've been with for 5 years. Actually, he doesn't WANT to be with me, he's the one trying to give ME the boot. I'm living in his apartment until I can get out on my own but he's literally tried to throw me out! On the other hand, I guess I'm lucky that he has helped me out while I haven't worked.

    But- Your BF's DO tell you, "You're really sexy!" or "You're so hot!" (something to that extent) at least sometimes?
    ~N

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    Featured Member MeganS's Avatar
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    Default Re: does your BF tell U your hot like the customer

    I don't want to have to be repetative in telling you that he's a jerk for going to that extent of you not being that attractive to him. Asshole. But actually, my husband does make me feel like a goddess! He wants to jump my bones almose every minute we're together! (It actually gets annoying) Telling me how gorgeous I am and all the guys around him are jealous and should be. I could keep going on and on, but I don't want to toot my own horn. I guess I'm just lucky!
    "A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to want to take it off you."
    Francoise Sagan

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    Senior Member Neptune's Avatar
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    Default Re: does your BF tell U your hot like the customer

    When I was working 2 years ago, the customers used to make me feel better than my own boyfriend did!!!
    That's why I wanted to know if your own boyfriends express to you ladies just attractive you are as the customers do.

    Megan, I wish my BF acted like yours! =)
    Sadly enough, I am the 'ravenous one' when it comes to sex. My BF doesn't initiate much, and he doesn't like making out much at all.

    The boyfriend tells me that I over-rate myself on the beauty scale. Boy that smarts when someone tells you that! I thought I was somewhat of an eye-catcher at least. Guess I've gotta post to 'Am i hot or not.com' Nah...just kidding...but he makes me really question if i see myself properly.
    ~N

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    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: does your BF tell U your hot like the customer

    Well, ok...so he was being honest. But, why would you want to be with someone who doesn't think that you are "THE SHIT"?? Why would you want to be with someone who can tell you that he's not "that physically attracted" to you? Sure, my boyfriend thinks Elizabeth Hurley is hot and he drools over Angelina Jolie, but dammit...when it comes to me, I take the cake!! He tells me that I am the most beautiful woman he's ever dated...isn't that what every woman deserves?

    I say that you should lose the loser...give yourself a year off from dating, take care of yourself...and then after that, find someone who thinks that you are the most beautiful woman that has ever stepped foot on this earth!! Believe me, he's out there...you just won't find him while this current guy is muddying your mind with pathetic lies and attempts to hold you down...

    And, yes...it's emotional and mental and verbal abuse to talk to someone like that...especially if he reinforces it (which I am sure he does...on some level) on a daily basis...

    The boyfriend tells me that I over-rate myself on the beauty scale. Boy that smarts when someone tells you that! I thought I was somewhat of an eye-catcher at least. Guess I've gotta post to 'Am i hot or not.com' Nah...just kidding...but he makes me really question if i see myself properly.
    Girl, your confidence in yourself needs to come from you...and you alone. Who cares what your boyfriend thinks? I think that HE'S the one that is underating you!! The most beautiful thing about anyone is their confidence and their belief in THEMSELVES. I've seen overweight (not obese but girls who had cottage cheese thighs) make the guys go crazy over them because they believed that they looked good! If you are depending on your boyfriend to "shine the reality", then at least do yourself a favor and find a guy that KNOWS that you are an eye-catching hottie!!!

    Lots of love,
    Venus

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    Default Re: does your BF tell U your hot like the customer

    Want me to kick his ass? [cuss] [grr]
    "The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."

  12. #12
    Pamela
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    Default Re: does your BF tell U your hot like the customer

    Right up to the end my ex told me he thought i was beautiful on the outside, but ugly on the inside. What ever that means?

    Pamela

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    God/dess blondhottie's Avatar
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    Default Re: does your BF tell U your hot like the customer

    Neptune, why in the world would you be with somebody that doesn't think you're hot? Dump the loser!






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    Featured Member cash's Avatar
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    Default Re: does your BF tell U your hot like the customer

    girl why are you taking this abuse ...it seems that he is trying to get out of a relationship with you and will tell you whatever it takes for you to let go,...he's an ass hole and i dont think you need all this abuse ....first off if he did'nt find you attractive then why did he started talking to you to begin with ...there must be atleast one thing that he found attractive about you...i think you need to get out of this before he have you feeling bad about yourself and loosing yourself esteam next thing you know you are turning to drugs to feel better about yourself (not saying that youu are a weak person) ... let this looser go ..you don't need him ...if he won't appreciate you then honey there are lots of guys out there who will....be confident in yourself and do not let because of him you feel bad about yourself ...he's an ass
    us: us: us: devil in disguise....

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    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: does your BF tell U your hot like the customer

    Sounds like your decision is becoming easier and easier. Leave ASAP, if you stay much longer with both of you harboring resentment, that leaves the door wide open for a really ugly confrontation.

    As I've mentioned before, guys who are really married to idealizing one specific type of girl, ie, blond, sporty, high cheekbones, etc, at your expense, are sick fetish fucks, and not good people.

    Of course, we all learn the hard way...cut off ALL communication and take up a hobby to heal your heart and soul, such as yoga....good luck mami!

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

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    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

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    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: does your BF tell U your hot like the customer

    Incidentally, my BF calls me his "sex fantasy" and "sex dolly" after 1.5 years, its the cutest thing ever...and he's the kind of guy that has Pam Anderson hitting on him when out.....you should not settle for any less!!!

    We all have to have a bad experience (or more) to appreciate the good unfortuantely...

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M
    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

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    Veteran Member Jeanette's Avatar
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    Default Re: does your BF tell U your hot like the customer

    Regardless of what you look like or what your boyfriend says...or what anyone says, you should think, and carry yourself as if you are the best thing ever! In my opinion, this is the sexiest thing, to men and women. People are naturally drawn to confident, self-assured people, and you have no reason not to be. Who cares what your boyfriend/ex says, he sucks anyway...definitely not a cool person.

    PS My kinda boyfriend of 3 years can't stop giving me compliments. Tells me all of the time how lucky he is, and how he hates it when I go to work, or when he goes to work because he misses me so much. How his friends would die to have a girl like me, and how he would be a fool to let me get away! And that is the way every man should treat his woman!

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    God/dess Malibu's Avatar
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    Default Re: does your BF tell U your hot like the customer

    Neptune, I think everyone else has said it.
    You are the envy
    of all parallel lines that
    dream of curves and convergence
    - Sara Bailey: Sieve of Words

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    Veteran Member Theresa's Avatar
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    Default Re: does your BF tell U your hot like the customer

    The last boyfriend I had would also say stuff to try and make me feel bad. He would always say "Just becuase all those drunk old men at the club think you're hot doesn't mean you really are..." He said I had a swelled head and thought I was hotter than I really was, and he thought he was doing me a favor by bring me back down where I belonged (his words!) It was mainly just insecurites popping up, I guess. Now I have a new man, and he is the total opposite! He doesn't even call me by my name, he calls me "beautiful," like if I call him he picks up and says "Hey, beautiful." And he just tells me that I am beautiful all the time, and I think every gal deserves a guy like this! Instead of guys like my asshole ex!!

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    Veteran Member winter2003's Avatar
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    Default Re: does your BF tell U your hot like the customer

    There is a difference between constructive criticism and being cruel...i think some of his remarks go beyond helpful to hurtfull.

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    Featured Member Juliette_deSade's Avatar
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    Default Re: does your BF tell U your hot like the customer

    neptune-

    I suspect that HE is not the hottest, most delicious french fry in the box. I think he feels he has to bring YOU down to HIS blah level. Beauty is largely in coinfidence and he is trying to strip you of yours. This is something to consider when it's time to decide to stay with him or not.

    My BF tells me I am beautiful and he watches me sleep for hours so he can look at me inturrupted. He tells me I am perfect.

    You know you deserve better, mami.
    Juliette de Sade
    The Texas Pin-up Stripteuse!

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    Default Re: does your BF tell U your hot like the customer

    Neptune, I've told you before your boyfriend sounds manipulative. I believe it even more so. I agree with everyone else, he is trying to bring you down, he is abusing your emotions. You deserve better.

    To answer your question, yes my boyfriend thinks I am the hottest thing and is always telling me. I catch him starting at me and I say "What are you looking at?". He says hes looking at me because I am beautiful. Everytime I get undressed he says "damn you're sexy". We've been together 2+ years and every day he has told me how beautiful he thinks I am. You need a guy like this. Every girl does.

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    Default Re: does your BF tell U your hot like the customer

    <quote>I asked his opinion about my level of attractiveness, and i guess he was quite honest about it. Does it make it verbal abuse? </quote>

    I personally don't think that alone makes it verbal abuse. Though, he really should’ve been nicer about the way he said what he did. A person can be honest and still be nice.

    Every guy finds different aspects of a woman attractive/unattractive. What your BF may not find attractive other guys may think is gorgeous. I know there are aspects about me that my husband doesn't find attractive (because I asked) but I know he still loves me for who I am, regardless of my flaws. There are times when I'll ask him how I look and I'll let him know that I really do want an honest answer. He'll give it but he's not mean about it and doesn't tell me "If I didn't know you I wouldn't give you a second glance" which would just be cruel.

    The other girls here made some VERY valid points, and since I don't know your BF I can't say what I think he feels or why I think he said what he did. Truth is, if it's making you feel this upset then something's wrong. And hon, how you feel about yourself is what matters the most. If you feel that you're sexy and hot then you are. It doesn't matter what he says. It almost sounds like he's using this to try to get you out the door (though I don't want to assume...just the way it looks from here). If so, then REALLY don't give what he said a second thought. Some guys can be real jerks like that…even after you’ve been with them for so long.

  24. #24
    Senior Member Neptune's Avatar
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    Default Re: does your BF tell U your hot like the customer

    We saw Demi Moore on TV and I don't think she is 'really' pretty and my BF said to me that I have even flatter cheeks than her, and even thinner lips, and a sad/angry looking face. My BF doesn't think Demi is a knockout either, and he's telling me that she's more attractive. It's bothering me because I thought I was prettier than Demi Moore. But my BF tells me that he thinks I'm over-rating myself. It's scary to think that maybe I could be over-rating my own beauty and thinking I am prettier than what I REALLY am!

    He also said that I have pointy sharp features and look like a witch, rather than having round features. He said that if I was ever able to make it to #1 in a beauty pageant, i would be one of the winners that he wouldn't care for because I don't look healthy and my smile looks fake, my teeth needs work, i don't have enough skin on my cheeks and my face is too skinny and my nose and nostrils are too pointy and i don't have the shape face for fuller lips. He tells me that I don't have an angelic face.

    Has someone told you that you look like someone, but the person they are referring to isn't that beautiful?
    Has this happened to you?

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    Senior Member Average_Dude's Avatar
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    Default Re: does your BF tell U your hot like the customer

    Did someone poke his eyes out or something. Everyone can't have good taste. Don't be worried about his opinion. I tell my wife how pretty she is every day. Everyone has flaws and that is what make us unique from each other. I like to see the difference in people. If we were perfect looking at people would be boring. Don't let anybody beat you down.

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