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Thread: You Know your a Strip Club Dj When...

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    Default You Know your a Strip Club Dj When...

    Just so we dont feel left out:


    ...You hear a song and you know exactly when 3:30 min has gone buy

    ...You hear a song and say "this is .......'s song"

    ...You also pay all your bills/grocieries/ect in ones

    ...Your music collection costs more than the car you drive

    ...You see a girl in sweat pants with no makup on and hair in curlers and you think HOT!

    ...Your the only guy you know that knows pole tricks

    ...Your mother is worried that your allways sick cause your voice is horse every time you talk to her

    ...Normal Hot girls in regular bars dont phase you cause you are now imune to there looks

    ...You know more about the female cycle than any other guy you know

    ...You've ever performed a String check for a girl

    ...When you talk on the phone you sound like your on a microphone

    ...You think most radio "DJs" are putzes

    ...You've ever gone skinney dipping at 5AM with 4 other girls and thaught no big deal.

    ...You've ever been mobbed by "boob sweat"

    ...You've ever walked into a dressing room full of Naked girls to collect money and were anxious to get it over with cause you wanted to go home

    ...You've reffered to a DJ booth as your "office"

    ...You'be ever wished your "office" had a lock on it so woman couldnt talk to you

    ...Your other bartender friends shutter when you tip them cause they wonder were the money has acutally been

    lol...the list could go on


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    Featured Member phillydj's Avatar
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    Default Re: You Know your a Strip Club Dj When...

    ....when your friend go out and you say "as long as we dont go to a strip joint"

    ....You ACTUALY read Playboy/Maxim for there artical, especialy the music reviews.

    .....You want to strangle anyone who refers to the new Metalica album as "good"

    .....You review songs on if you can play them or not

    ....Your a "cash only" kinda guy

    .....You answer your home phone by saing "booth"

    .....you can randomly flip the radio dial and know the who/what/and what track # of every damn song plus a small history of the band.

    ....Radio station DJ's call you for song info

    .....You feel left out that "name that tune"isn't still on the air cause you KNOW you can kick the ass of that house wife from Reno.

    .......Stump the Bouie????? PLEASE!!!!!!
    I Would Never Belong To Any Club That Would Have Me As A Member - Groucho Marx

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    God/dess Malibu's Avatar
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    Default Re: You Know your a Strip Club Dj When...

    He he! Sweet!
    You are the envy
    of all parallel lines that
    dream of curves and convergence
    - Sara Bailey: Sieve of Words

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    Senior Member bdoc's Avatar
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    Default Re: You Know your a Strip Club Dj When...

    lmao about the "string check" Nothing like plotting the cycles of 30 women so you know when to call in "sick. lmao

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    Default Re: You Know your a Strip Club Dj When...

    LMAO GREAT Keepem comin

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: You Know your a Strip Club Dj When...

    LMAO! String check. I've been guilty of requesting that. This is a good reminder of all the crap you guys put up with from us. Any girl who has a problem tipping her DJ should read this!

    And how about:
    ....you have smoking a whole cigarette in under 3:30 down to an art.
    ....you know more dirt on more people than anyone you know.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Senior Member bdoc's Avatar
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    Default Re: You Know your a Strip Club Dj When...

    You catch yourself in the car announcing one of the girls because "her" song comes on.

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    Newbie G Spot's Avatar
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    Default Re:You Know your a Strip Club Dj When...

    You're thinking about becoming a TV soap opera/mini-series writer when you retire...since all the "drama queen" names are already ficticious!

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    Veteran Member Tia_q's Avatar
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    Default Re:You Know your a Strip Club Dj When...

    LOL too funny I can take blame for the "crotch" check before going out on stage too.

    Lights, check. Sound: check. Crotch: check. "ok.. here's...."

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    Senior Member bdoc's Avatar
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    Default Re:You Know your a Strip Club Dj When...

    One of the girls asks you to stop by the clothing shop to pick up an extra thong for her and you know the size without asking.

    Too tired for the drive home, you sleep over at one of the girls' and actually SLEEP

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    Veteran Member Naomi_Tx's Avatar
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    Default Re:You Know your a Strip Club Dj When...

    ~ Your home has been nicknamed "The Home For Wayward Strippers."

    ~ You hold up the line at the drive through bank because they have to put your stacks of ones through the machine.

    ~ You've caught yourself pulling the ultimate no-no... bitching and complaining like a stripper, about how "it sucks in here" or "That's it! After I collect my tips tonight I'm never coming back to this shit-hole!"

    ~You've actually gone out and bought a CD, or burned, that your big tipper requested a song off of... and then forgot to tell her that you now have it, so she has no idea to request it again because last time you didn't have it.

    ~ You're bored in the booth, so you play "name that drug" with a buddy. **what drug is that stupid bitch on?

    ~You lie to a stripper, who you can't stand, who requests one of your favorite songs because, if she dances to it, the song will never sound the same for you again.

    ~ You have several CD cases, categorized by type... classic rock... rap/r&b... dance/pop... new rock...

    ~You claim not to "shit where you eat" yet truth is, most of your X-GF's are strippers.

    ~ You bitch constantly about how the day/night DJ always fucks up your booth.

    ~ Your buddies come by to hang out in the booth and you know exactly who to suggest they get a dance from, because she's the dirtiest/naughtiest hoe there.

    ~You've lost your ambition/dedication towards band/music career that you always wanted because, just like the strippers/managers/waitresses, you're stuck in the strip club business.

    ~ You've mastered the art of pretending to listen intently to a strippers bitching about personal problems with deadbeat boyfriend/ money problems... And you know better than to ask a stripper how things are going for her because that's just asking for the bitching/complaining.

    ~Your excuse given to girlfriend, when caught flirting with new girl, is "it's business, I gotta be nice to these them if I wanna get tipped out... just like you gotta pretend to flirt with the customers. Babe, why would I want her skanky ass when I've got you."

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    Featured Member phillydj's Avatar
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    Default Re:You Know your a Strip Club Dj When...

    ~ You're bored in the booth, so you play "name that drug" with a buddy. **what drug is that stupid bitch on? ~

    Best line EVER.
    I Would Never Belong To Any Club That Would Have Me As A Member - Groucho Marx

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    Default Re:You Know your a Strip Club Dj When...

    Just heard this one from a friend.

    You have had your equipment stolen more than once by a dancer, and her deadbeat boyfriend.

    The scariest part is that your going to know who took your equipment, before they even think about taking it.

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    Default Re:You Know your a Strip Club Dj When...

    Name that drug LOL.....

    -If you've ever played "name that stripper"

    On night me and my wife were at home and bored so I was messin with my MP3s. We played name that stripper by the song that was played. It was worth a pretty good laugh

    -If you have to go out of your way to get air freshner for work. (for the booth)

    -If you can eat an entier wopper with cheese king sized frize and coke and still be able to do a feature in 3:30 min.

    -The clerk at the local music store gives you that (Who are these for look)

    -If your wardrobe consists of Fairly nice work clothes and then about a hundred club T-shirts that you stole/found lying around

    -Hooters waitresses dont flirt with you cause they know were you work

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    Senior Member bdoc's Avatar
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    Default Re:You Know your a Strip Club Dj When...

    You are able to guess what a song is by only having 5 or less words of the lyrics. (ie. it goes something like yadda yadda, but it might be a girl or a guy singing it, I'm not sure of how the beat is, you know, umm, it's kinda old, but not that old)

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    Default Re:You Know your a Strip Club Dj When...

    LMAO! I know that's right!

    You know that electronic song that goes dah dadada da da, and the girl says something about a crazy cat.....

    The one DJ we have is just the best. He was able to figure out from that description that I wanted the song 'Broken Dreams' by Basement Jaxx. So he and I still refer to that song as the Crazy Cat Song. LOL

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Default Re:You Know your a Strip Club Dj When...

    You know your a DJ when:

    You've been fired and rehired by all the strip clubs in your area at least 3 or more times....

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    Default Re:You Know your a Strip Club Dj When...

    This is great!! But I got on this thread too late, and right now I am stumped as to being able to come up with a new one.

    Hmmm...

    When you go to a SC with friends, and won't sit at the stage with them, but hang out at the bar instead.

    When you tip a girl a dollar, and as she starts shaking her ass in your face, you smile and walk away instead of looking at it, even if it's really a nice one.

    When you start dissing the other DJs for not knowing the exact, correct place to cue up or cut the song.

    You play the "Does she strip or not?" game at the mall, or wherever, and later found out you won.

    You completely ignore what the DJ at any other club is saying, except when picking apart his style.

    You can listen to a complete description of which tattoo is for which dead friend, baby sister, boyfriend, lost pet, or whatever, without being moved the slightest bit (though if you are polite you will feign interest).


    Thats all for now---cool thread!
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

    ______________________________________

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    Default Re:You Know your a Strip Club Dj When...

    you know you're a stripper when:
    you only listen to the first three minutes of each song on a new CD
    you can't sleep after work b/c you still hear the DJ announcing your name over and over
    you steal your kindergartner's scissors to take to work (string check? no way)
    your friend's names are all names of cities in Texas
    when you say "Houston, we have a problem", it's noo joke
    if anyone hurts themselves, they know to rely on you for small,circular band-aids

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    Senior Member bdoc's Avatar
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    Default Re:You Know your a Strip Club Dj When...

    you know you're a stripper when....

    you hear G-string and don't think of a musical instrument
    you know that pasty has nothing to do with a bakery or complexion
    the clerks at vicky's secret know you by name
    you have money in more than 2 pockets (not including purse)
    you have spent more time on a table than most tablecloths
    you can look at a guy and guess the amount of cash on him to within $3

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