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Thread: Question for customers?

  1. #1
    Veteran Member Miss_Eliza's Avatar
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    Default Question for customers?

    I have a question for all the male customers.
    Why is it when I compliment another dancer.
    Men feel the need to compliment me back?

    If I say she has nice hair.They say "but your hair is very pretty." If I say she puts on a good stage show.They say " nothing wrong with your dancing"

    Do men think all women are insecure or just dancers?
    You say psycho like it's a bad thing

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    Default Re: Question for customers?

    We are oftern criticized by woman for not being supportive or listening.
    In a strip club environment, and most men not really knowing
    a real take on a strip club environment they are probably interpreting your comments as you are fishing, "Do you like that girl more than me?"

    Since you are drinking with them at a table, , they are defending you (probably without thinking) so you won't get mad at them for failing what they view as the "test" question. It is an instinctive answer
    to your question and probably immediate with no thought.

    I think dancers are highly critical of each others physical appearance and dress, more than men are about them. There are the asshole
    men who make negative comments about dancers to their face,
    and are part of the abusive subset. I'm convinced that about
    ten percent of male customers are there to verbally abuse the dancers
    to get their jollys. The nude dancing, or anything else isn't even
    why they go to the clubs. This was a revelation to me, as
    I am meticulously polite to all people (Male, female or other) unless they cross me.
    There is no reason to critizice minor failings in somebody's appearance as what they do, their character, and what they are is more important
    (I am always looking for the "internal light" in everyone.)

    Dancers can be vicious to each other on apperance. The competition sets you up against each other.

    Dancers are sometimes judging each others apperance from
    a professional standpoint, and sometimes looking for
    beauty items the "work" and can be adapted.

    We men aren't thinking of it that way. Now I think of it
    in a kind of professional rating standpoint but I had
    to be trained by a dancer to think of it that way. She helped me by explaining why the hair was good to dancing and income or
    why a certain type of costume created a benefit to a certain
    dancer.

    Your customers have no idea of environment or the context
    of your comments. I know I didn't until a girl took
    the time to explain it to me.

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    Default Re: Question for customers?

    I don’t know why you are hearing that. You wouldn’t hear it from me in that context, as I think that it sounds insincere as hell. Are these guys that you’ve talked with much before, or ones that you’ve just met? Have they complimented you previously if given the opportunity? If not, maybe they are feeling a little guilty at that moment.

    I talk to lot of dancers at my favorite clubs. I often am told by a dancer that she thinks another girl is really sexy, or has great boobs or great shoes, or is a really good dancer. Sometimes the comments about other dancers are not so flattering, too. I take it as her honest opinion and a desire to have an honest conversation. Sometimes I’ll give my opinion of the other girl or ask for more clarification on what my companion likes or dislikes about the other girl and carry on a conversation from there.

    It depends on the circumstances regarding the comments you’re hearing as to whether I would find them annoying or not if I were you. In my situation, I already know most of the girls that sit and comment to me about another dancer. I’ve already told them how much I like them and shared sincere compliments with them. So I don’t have to feel guilty or get the impression that she is fishing for a compliment or is insecure.

    Are some dancers insecure? Sure. Just as in any area of life. But my experience has been that they aren’t the ones sharing compliments regarding the other girls.

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    God/dess doc-catfish's Avatar
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    Default Re: Question for customers?

    If I say she has nice hair.They say "but your hair is very pretty." If I say she puts on a good stage show.They say " nothing wrong with your dancing"

    Do men think all women are insecure or just dancers?
    I suppose in the context that you describe, it does seem a little derogatory, but I think that's more from the difference in interpretation that men and women have about such complments, than it is a willful attempt to ease any insecurities. And yes, I've seen it happen in other settings where men and women congregate, so it's not just dancers.

    This is just my read, but when I'm alone with a dancer, I'd like the focus during that time to be about her and me, without any attention paid to outside distractions. This is why loud music, noisy intrusive DJ's, and that 'stare out into space' look some dancers give (particularly during private dances) Usually make the customer pet peeve list.

    By deflecting your kind compliment about your co-worker back on you, he's simply trying to get your attention back where he wants it, on you (and him). After all, he asked to be with you, and not the gal you're complimenting right?
    Former SCJ now in rehab.

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    Default Re: Question for customers?

    I have no problem giving a critque of another dancer because I think they want my honest opinion. if A dancer askes, I will tell her what I think about her or other dancers...... there look, personality, stage presents ect, the one thing I think that a lot of dancers are sensitive about is there weight. more so than us, :-/

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    God/dess montythegeek's Avatar
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    Default Re: Question for customers?

    I think men are conditioned to give safe answers. Does this font make my butt look fat?

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    Default Re: Question for customers?

    It's not too often that I hear one dancer compliment another. The customers you are talking about probably think that you are fishing for a compliment. Though that's not usually my reaction. I'm quite interested to know what dancers think about other dancers, particularly when they think another dancer is good looking.

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    Veteran Member Miss_Eliza's Avatar
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    Default Re: Question for customers?

    Thank you for all replys.
    I know somtimes it can appear as "fishing";but when we watch a show together.I can tell he likes her.I want to know what he is thinking.I try to make him feel free to say what, I know he wants to say.

    And sometimes they just spot me checking a lady out.I can help it.I am only human.besides we are looking at the same thing.I don't want them to feel the need to say sorry.when I am looking too.
    You say psycho like it's a bad thing

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    Veteran Member Miss_Eliza's Avatar
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    Default Re: Question for customers?

    Montythegeek if my ass lookes fat,someone had better tell me.I'll go change.
    Sometimes we want the truth.
    unless it is my ass that makes my ass look fat,and not the pants.Then it is good to stay quite.
    You say psycho like it's a bad thing

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    Default Re: Question for customers?

    I don't want the truth. If my ass looks fat, tell me it looks good or stay quiet. If my ass does look fat, then I already know, and anyone telling me will just make me feel worse.

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    Senior Member awboy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Question for customers?

    I don't feel that I have to compliment the dancer I'm sitting with if she pays a compliment to another dancer. I do try to find something different about each dancer I talk with though and pay them a compliment. I won't comment on any supposed imperfection a dancer may have because what I may think is bad someone else may think it is the dancer's best part. I don't want a dancer to come up to me and say my stomach is to big, so I won't tell them they have a big butt. If they ask I will tell them what type of dancer I typically prefer but I don't offer it up unless asked.

  12. #12
    God/dess montythegeek's Avatar
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    Default Re: Question for customers?

    No one's butt looks fat here but mine. My mom even makes jokes about mine and she hasn't seen it in decades.

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