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Thread: Question for the guys

  1. #1
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    Default Question for the guys

    OK, I dont know how many male strip club patrons actually read these forums but I have a question for those who do.

    First, have you ever asked out a dancer you met in a strip club, and if so, what happened? (did you guys go out, start a relationship, etc)

    Second, if you ever did ask out a dancer from a club and she said no, would you still get dances from her/tip her on stage/pay her to sit with you, or otherwise still spend money on her?

    I have always been curious about these things so please answer honestly!! Thank you!!

    Aja

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Question for the guys

    AH ha ha ha - Man, I would ask this one girl out ALL the time. I can tell ya this - she had no problem saying "no!"

    I still hung out and tipped until I got a real girlfriend. I saw her once in the last year.

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    Default Re: Question for the guys

    Did I ever ask a dancer(s) out - Yes.

    Let me define "Out". For sex - No. Out means for breakfast after spending the night at the strip club, to accompany me to a movie or comedy club while I was in town. I have been take up on the offer a few times.

    I understand that a dancer has two lifes. One that she has within the walls of the club and the one that she has outside of the club. Over the years, I have kept in touch with some of the dancers via email. When I know that I am heading into Vegas, I try to make sure that I let them know. This way I can see some friendly faces and get some dances from dancers that I know.

    If a dancer says No, I don't have a problem with that. I understand that she is not looking for a relationship from the customers at the club. She is just looking to have a good night and make a few dollars. Remember - The name of the game is Strip and Tip. So yes, even if a dancer says no, I will continue to spend time with her, tip her at stage, and get dances from her. We are all there to have fun and enjoy ourselves.


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    Default Re: Question for the guys

    "I still hung out and tipped until I got a real girlfriend."

    a real girlfriend? that in itself says a lot.

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    Veteran Member Tre's Avatar
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    Default Re: Question for the guys

    Even though I may have an interesting story or two; I'm not touching that loaded question....
    "The elastic retreat rings the close of play as the last wave uncovers the newfangled way."

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Question for the guys

    "I still hung out and tipped until I got a real girlfriend."

    a real girlfriend? that in itself says a lot.
    Sure it does - if a girl won't go out with you, yet makes all the moves like there is a relationship of somekind - duh, it ain't for real. I can read here all the time about how one dancer says to newbie dancers "it is all fantasy!" I took the chance to make it reality - she didn't want that. I went out and got a real girlfriend.

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    Veteran Member Tre's Avatar
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    Default Re: Question for the guys

    Hmm...This is a strange point/counter-point.

    I think what Alanna meant is that she believes you wouldn't class a dancer as a "real" girlfriend.

    While you responded with the fantasy vs. reality aspect of the club experience.

    ---------------------

    Even without the final result of a girl "going out with you", there is a relationship of some kind there; (as you put it.)

    A relationship, (by my definition anyways), is where a person can benefit themselves (purposes vary) by interaction with another; while said other person reciprocates.

    By this definition, it IS a relationship (in the truest sense) between dancer and customer.

    The most 'skilled' dancers ride this relationship to the point where the patron believes "going out" is possible; and keeps him/her at this point indefinitely.
    Continuing the spending. Continuing the relationship within the club.

    Any men who fail to understand this, or believe there should be an exception to the threshold of this relationship (for them) should be spending their time elsewhere.





    "The elastic retreat rings the close of play as the last wave uncovers the newfangled way."

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    Default Re: Question for the guys

    Hi Aja,

    Some girls do, and some girls don't. There is a fine line between selling a fantasy and misleading somebody.

    Personally, when I am having little fake relationships with several different people, it fucks with my head. I am much happier when I make it clear to them that our fantasy relationship has professional boundaries. If they never get to those boundaries, fine. But if they do, I'm not going to lie to them.

    Lena



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    Default Re: Question for the guys

    "I think what Alanna meant is that she believes you wouldn't class a dancer as a "real" girlfriend."

    thanks Tre, that was basically what i meant. Aja's question referred to actual "real" relationships between dancers and customers, not the club fantasy. therefore, Hob's use of the term "real" in his response to distinguish the difference between the dancer relationship and the girlfiend relationship that followed implies that he wouldn't classify the dancer as girlfriend material. if this is not what he believes, he should have referred to the "real girlfriend" as the "girlfriend."

    "I went out and got a real girlfriend."

    nooooo, you went out and got a girlfriend. you asked the dancer to engage in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with you, and she refused. therefore, she was never a girlfriend regardless of the possibility of you having knowledge of her intimate parts since that knowledge was gained solely through the dancer/customer relationship in which you paid her for services rendered in her capacity as a dancer.

    for example: i have a doctor/patient relationship with my doctor just as you had a dancer/customer relationship with the dancer. if i asked my doctor to engage in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship and he refused, i would never have any reason to refer to him as my boyfriend, regardless of my doctor having knowledge of my intimate parts since that knowledge was gained solely through a doctor/patient relationship in which i paid him for services rendered in his capacity as a doctor.

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Question for the guys

    Thank you to those who responded. The reason I asked this question was because I am often asked out by customers for a date (aren't we all... )and I wonder which is a better response, as far as making money goes. Should I
    A) lead a guy on to believe that there is a possibility of getting together outside of the club someday and milk him for all he is worth until he finally realizes that we will never date, OR
    B)tell him flat out that I don't date customers from the club and risk him not giving me any money.

    On a couple occasions I have met a customer out for dinner because he spent some money on me and I was hoping that if I went out with him he would come back and spend some more...BIG MISTAKE!! I was just doing it to be nice and they got the idea that I wanted a relationship with them or something. They then thought they were "above" customer status and kept calling me even though their visits to the club were greatly diminished or non-existant.

    The reason I asked guys if they ever asked out a dancer was because I was wondering if they wanted a girlfriend or just wanted to hang out with some hot chicks (like if a guy was alone on business and wanted a girl to go out to dinner with him). Because it is SO frustrating when guys go to a strip club looking for a girlfriend!!!
    Anyway, thanks again to all for your input and feel free to share any other thoughts you may have on this issue.
    ~Aja

    ps Lena....cute pics!!

  11. #11
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    Default Re: Question for the guys

    On a couple occasions I have met a customer out for dinner because he spent some money on me and I was hoping that if I went out with him he would come back and spend some more...BIG MISTAKE!! I was just doing it to be nice and they got the idea that I wanted a relationship with them or something. They then thought they were "above" customer status and kept calling me even though their visits to the club were greatly diminished or non-existant.
    Many sales people pass up a sale because they know in the end it is not worth it - it costs more than it profits. Same would go for dancers I would think.

  12. #12
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    Default Re: Question for the guys

    "I think what Alanna meant is that she believes you wouldn't class a dancer as a "real" girlfriend."

    thanks Tre, that was basically what i meant. Aja's question referred to actual "real" relationships between dancers and customers, not the club fantasy. therefore, Hob's use of the term "real" in his response to distinguish the difference between the dancer relationship and the girlfiend relationship that followed implies that he wouldn't classify the dancer as girlfriend material. if this is not what he believes, he should have referred to the "real girlfriend" as the "girlfriend."

    "I went out and got a real girlfriend."

    nooooo, you went out and got a girlfriend. you asked the dancer to engage in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with you, and she refused. therefore, she was never a girlfriend regardless of the possibility of you having knowledge of her intimate parts since that knowledge was gained solely through the dancer/customer relationship in which you paid her for services rendered in her capacity as a dancer.

    for example: i have a doctor/patient relationship with my doctor just as you had a dancer/customer relationship with the dancer. if i asked my doctor to engage in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship and he refused, i would never have any reason to refer to him as my boyfriend, regardless of my doctor having knowledge of my intimate parts since that knowledge was gained solely through a doctor/patient relationship in which i paid him for services rendered in his capacity as a doctor.
    You make me smile. If there is a "fantasy girlfriend" then there is a "real" girlfriend irregardless how I express it. Your quite the logician. You should have asked more questions about the relationship leading me to believe we were close friends before making your determination. But your right on one point, I would not say that woman is girl friend material now.

    Your whole doctor/patient analogy would be more accurate if it included the doctor calling the patient, as well the patient calling the doctor, and conversations beyond that of illness. However it did not apply because you did not know all the facts - are you the type of person to jump to ignorant conclusions?

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    Default Re: Question for the guys

    >>"are you the type of person to jump to ignorant conclusions?"<<

    certainly not. however, apparently YOU are given your accusation that my reply was ignorant. of course i don't know the details of the relationship with the dancer, and my responses haven't alluded to that. i don't need to know the details to respond to what your statements have implied... and if you didn't notice the first time around, i HAVE said that your statements IMPLIED a certain manner of thinking.

    yes, i do think logically (otherwise known as having "common sense"). without the ability to think logically, how would people be able to make themselves understood or understand others? logical thinking is a prime ingredient elevating the intelligence of humans above that of animals... do you have some problem with the fact that i'm intelligent? that i'm a logical thinker? a "logistic"?

    again... Aja's question alluded to "real" relationships, club fantasy aside. therefore (again), there is no reason to distinguish the difference between the dancer relationship and the "real girlfriend" in your response... so, why did you?

    what you have been saying, particularly considering your mention of knowledge (or lack thereof) of the relationship details with the dancer, IMPLIES that you did assume the relationship merited the dancer girlfriend status (i.e., a relationship OUTSIDE the club fantasy) despite the fact she refused a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. at any time during your relationship with the dancer, did you ever assume the relationship was something more than or different than a dancer/customer relationship despite her refusal to have a relationship of that nature? if you can honestly answer "no" to that, then WHY would you distinguish the relationship with the girl who was not a dancer as "real"?

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    Default Re: Question for the guys

    >>"A) lead a guy on to believe that there is a possibility of getting together outside of the club someday and milk him for all he is worth until he finally realizes that we will never date, OR
    B)tell him flat out that I don't date customers from the club and risk him not giving me any money."<<

    Aja, if you have to ask this question, then you need to review what your job is. the correct course of action is glaring you in the face particularly since Tre already flat out said what the answer is.

    i'll make this simple, ok?
    1) who pays you so you can eat and pay your bills?
    2) how many other girls in this business also need to eat and pay their bills?
    3) do you want to stay in this business and be able to eat and pay your bills?
    4) do you want to make no money, a little money or a lot of money?


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    Default Re: Question for the guys

    Aja,

    I've never asked out a dancer (too shy, too convined they'd all say no anyway) but one time I got a private dance from a girl who I think was starting to lead me on, which was a little annoying. I haven't asked her for another dance since then (mainly beacuse her private dance hurt ), but her leading me on was a small factor as well.
    Quote Originally Posted by _Avery_ View Post
    omg, why is it so huge?!! lol lol

  16. #16
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    Default Re: Question for the guys

    Recently I met a dancer about 2 month's ago and I told her I was coming back to her town for business in about 3 weeks.When I told her this she said she wants to take the week off and make plans to hook up.I don,t know what to make of this, if she is leading me on the wrong way or she actually wants to go out.I don,t want to affend her if I questioned it .I know she likes to party and we had a fun time together a the club she worked at.So in the end I do not know what to expect because she nor I have made it clear the reason we are going to get together.

  17. #17
    Veteran Member Tre's Avatar
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    Default Re: Question for the guys

    I guess the best thing to do in this situation is to expect nothing.

    (How's that for advice? LOL)

    Treat this get-together no differently than any other, (outside of a club situation.)

    If she is "leading you on", you'll realize it soon enough.

    The best you can do is make YOUR intentions clear, whatever they may be. (Honourable, I hope.)

    If you have to ask; ask.

    With the risk of getting blasted:
    Women are simple creatures.
    Usually when asked a question apropos, they will answer.


    "The elastic retreat rings the close of play as the last wave uncovers the newfangled way."

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    Default Re: Question for the guys

    Tre, you are right on the mark with your "simple creatures" comment. Women are generally not simple-minded, but most of us are quite simple.

    Myself not included in that generalization, as you can already attest. ("Queen Of The Sidestep").


    As for HobNob and Alanna....
    After reading both of your posts, I feel you both have strong and valid points. I also feel that perhaps you two are both conversing from different perspectives, on different wavelengths, with varying amounts of knowledge regarding said situation. As such, you should both acknowledge this and perhaps cut each other a bit of slack. This would not be the place for the beginnings of a flame-war, and the tone is already edging that way....



    I have about a dozen guys ask me out almost every night that I work. Do I date them? Hell, no. Not because I have anything personally against them, but because of hard lessons previously learned. Most of them are quite understanding when I tell them no, especially if I put it in terms of business. A few of them don't, and I have to keep driving the point in gently until they get the idea. This is part of why I got a pager. Mnay of my regulars have a number to reach me when they want to know if I am working - I found using a pager cuts down on the "she must want me" factor, as opposed to them having my cell phone number.

    Do I have anything against the guys? Generally speaking, no. I truly enjoy the presence (as opposed to simply the money) of many of my regular customers, which is why I chose to cultivate those specific people as my regulars, although they may not have a ton of money.

    I have found, though, that it is true many of them will not come in and tip you again, or do it as well or as often, if you go out places with them outside of work. Travelling types are an exception usually. But another side effect is that it produces gossip. There will always be someone in you rclub with eyes and ears and big mouth, no matter how discreet you think you are, and they will pass the information along to every one of your regulars, in the effort to piss off your regulars. Why? Because pissed off regulars take their money to another girl. And believe me, if you have a lot of them asking you out, and you accept for just one, the rest of them WILL be pissed when they find out THEY were not the exception to the rule. So much easier to avoid it altogether.

    McCain

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    Veteran Member Tre's Avatar
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    Default Re: Question for the guys

    Of course I'm right. LOL

    "Queen of the side-step"? You? Noooo.

    I would never imply such a thing.
    "The elastic retreat rings the close of play as the last wave uncovers the newfangled way."

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    Default Re: Question for the guys


    Another factor to consider is that in the club, you are A Stripper. You are a Goddess. You are worth spending money to be with.

    Once you've gone out with them, you are a regular girl. A real person. The kind of person they could meet in a coffee shop or a bar. And why should they spend money to spend time with a regular girl that they can see outside the club anyways?

    Lena



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    Default Re: Question for the guys

    I have been to a few clubs, but only of the "Under 21" variety, due to my age.

    As for the first question, I never have, but I have a friend who does. I know better then to ask, and even though I tell him not to, he still does. He never gets anywhere asking for dates. He almost got a girl to party with him (I guess "us" cause he wanted to use my house) but I didn't have my cell phone on. He then proceded to wait in the parking lot after the club closed (again against my warnings) and I had to laugh when the bouncer came out and told him to get lost.

    As to the second question, I don't think it would matter to me, because I see the smoke & mirrors, but to someone who still sees the illusion, it might. I can't say too much from personal experience, cause the "under 21" clubs I've been to really stink. I'll be the best dressed guy in the room, pay for me and my friends cover with a roll of 20s as thick as my hand, and not have a single dancer "talk" to me in the 3 hours I'm there. I chock it up to my age.

    Hope that helps.
    The dumb kid is back!

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    Featured Member Chuck149's Avatar
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    Default Re: Question for the guys

    The reason I asked guys if they ever asked out a dancer was because I was wondering if they wanted a girlfriend or just wanted to hang out with some hot chicks (like if a guy was alone on business and wanted a girl to go out to dinner with him).
    That’s exactly why I have asked ladies out to dinner, not for a GFE but just be able to have dinner with an attractive lady while on a business trip. For anyone who travels on business, you know it sucks to have dinner alone. I made that clear to them and agreed to pay them for their time, no sex, just dinner. I felt safer with a lady who I have already met, than calling an escort service and taking my chances. I must say that this only works after several trips to the same club over a period of time. I have never received a positive response on the first night in a club.
    "when it comes to staying young, a mind-lift beats a face-lift any day" ~ Marty Bucella

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    Default Re: Question for the guys

    My wife was a dancer when I met her as was the girl I was dating for 4 years before her. So was the Mistress she caught me with in April and the Girlfriend I had at the time also. IF that wasn't enough many of the "pay for play" relationships over the last 15 years were with dancers.

    What can I say? I have a problem with dancers!

    The wife was the most naive lady I ever met in the business. Kind of sheltered and protected by all the other ladies she worked with because of her background. Took a few months of courting her to get her to go out with me but we've been together ever since. She's the only one that ever said "no" that I went back and saw over and over.

    There have always been too many options to waste time on a lady not interested.

    I have no problems with the ones that "lead a guy on" or "pretend". Too many guys forget it's their "business" to do so. If a guy doesn't know how the game is played and he has enough cash je'll eventually get the hang of it and chalk all the money up to "education expenses". IF he can't afford the game he has no business returning.

    I've found dancers to be the best and most available entertainment annd traveling companions over the years. Many young ladies get into it right out of high school and have never been anywhere. Getting a a weeklong date with a lady to go to the Bahamas, for example, is a piece of cake and her expenses are usuallly your only expense. After a few years in the business they usually learn their value though.

    Anyway. I just found the link to this board over on ASPD and thought I would drop by and check it out.

    Oh Yeah...... The next lady I play with will probably be a dancer. There's a 22yo redhead I have my eye on. So does the wife! I think we're gonna share this time!



    I have a difficult time meeting ladies!

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    Default Re: Question for the guys


    I hadn't thought about it like that, Whispers. Some lessons are hard learned. The clubs are no place for the innocent or thin-skinned, at least here in H-town. Not all dancers play the game fair, though, if fairness applies. I'm beginning to think it doesn't. Things are going to get very interesting on this site if you stay in the mix over here.

    All is fair in lust and war my friend.

    I guess I was never that naive as to walk into a place filled with beautiful ladies and think they were available for the picking.

    I've watched many a buddy and sometimes a client part with a weeks wages for a few hours entranced by a little lady in one of these places while I sat at the bar with the ladies BF sharing a drink and figuring where we were all going to dinner after she got off.

    There are a few guys that might spend money KNOWING that the lady is not available but the vast majority of the customers have a fantasy about her becoming his GF or leaving with him and if the ladies want to earn their living, playing a role in that fantasy is their job.

    Most men that frequent these places lack the maturity or self confidence as well as the financial freedom to have a meaningful relationship with a dancer. The male ego does not deal well where the lady makes far more money on average than the guy does. The difference in incomes leads to the guy getting jealous and suspicious and hanging out all the time, often quitting his job and leaching off the lady. The relationship goes down hill rapidly.

    I had a 4 year relationship with one lady and have been with my wife now for 11 years. The lady I dated before her did hook up with an old boyfriend and get married. (We're all good friends) Out of both circles of friends (dancers) in the different clubs these 2 ladies danced in I know of only 2 other relationships that lasted.

    In every case I know of the relationships only lasted where the lady got out of the business.



    I hope I don't "mix it up" too much here lurking. I do have a habit of speaking my mind and this is a favorite subject. If I get out of line someone can just pull me aside and spank me


    I have a difficult time meeting ladies!

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    Default Re: Question for the guys

    like whispers i have dated dancers

    i cant nail it down each case is diffrent

    but IF YOU LIE well that pisses me off


    be honest no matter what
    The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette
    a clear conscience is a sign of a bad memory

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