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Thread: The most important question of all

  1. #26
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    Default Re: The most important question of all

    OK. Let me take one more crack at this and then I will try and let it go.

    A few quick responses:

    Q Trying to date a stripper for the sake of dating a stripper is a bad idea. We are not novelty items.

    A: I would not date somebody simply because of what they do. That assumes that all the IMPORTANT criteria are met, interest, attraction and respect.

    Q: Just get lap dances like everyone else and buy your fake stripper love!

    A: The funny thing is, that I am not a big patron of strip clubs. I went to Vegas, had a great time, and just started thinking on the subject. This is far from an obsession. More like seeing something shiny and being interested until the next shiny thing comes along. I happened across this forum and got sucked in. I find it, and you folks, interesting.

    Q: Sorry about the way I'm writing this. This is built-up frustration from many men who see me for the superficial dancer side and it really makes me feel like a piece of meat. I like to think I'm more than that!

    A: If I meet a stripper in her professional capacity, that is all she can be, if for no other reason than I could never know that anything she says is true, as you all point out she is likely telling me what she thinks I want to hear to get me to spend more money, which is fine. I would like to get beyond that.

    Q: Millions of people take full and especially part-time jobs that have nothing or very little to do with their personalities simply for monetary reasons.

    A: True. However, I believe that the ability to do any job well is a good indication of who a person is or what talents they harbor. I am a lawyer. I have several traits in my personal life that led me to that profession, i.e. I am well read, well educated, smart and analytical. If a person works part time at Jiffy Lube, they probably like and know a lot about cars. A stripper, especially a good one, has an amazing ability to exude sensuality. She also has an ability to shed, for even a moment, her inhibitions and let that part of her shine. I am fascinated in knowing the kind of person who is capable of doing that. I know I am not.

    Q: I dance because I love the money and flexibility, not because I love men hitting on me. If I could make the same money without the hitting on, I'd love it even more.

    A: I don't believe that all dancers dance simply for the money. Perhaps it is true, I am often wrong, but making money isn't a particularly hard thing to do. Living with yourself for doing what you do to make it is the hard part. I would like to know the type of woman who not only enjoys what she does, but is liberated by it, even if she is not "Dakota super slutty librarian" in real life. OF COURSE SHE ISN'T!!

    Q: "When I was in France I wanted to go out with French girls, which was great.

    When I am in a strip club I want to go out with a stripper. "

    The difference is French girls are French 24/7.

    A: I disagree. You may be different in your personal life than your professional life, but a plumber is a plumber even when she is not plumbing. A teacher is a teacher in and out of the classroom. (I am a part time professor) and am entitled to the honorific of Professor even when I am at my other desk. So long as you are practicing a profession that is, in a grammatical sense, what you "are."




    So that is it. I apologize for this long and dull post. I never intended to insult. This began as a simple inquiry into what would be the best place to be in the same physical space in order to meet somebody to see if I was compatible with them on a personal level and see what it would be like to spend time with a liberated, sexy woman who has had a whole world of experiences which are completely foreign to me.


  2. #27
    Featured Member Prester_John's Avatar
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    Default Re: The most important question of all

    Why exactly do you want to date a dancer?
    I only carbon date dancers, and only for archeological purposes.

  3. #28
    Featured Member Prester_John's Avatar
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    Default Re: The most important question of all

    Now to not be silly -

    The shocking truth is that dancers are people, and most people do not like and are revolted when they are marginalized. Being attracted to and desiring a person for one and only one aspect (in your case, being a dancer) marginalizes her. That’s a roundabout point that you seem to miss. Dancers and the profession have a veneer of sensual promiscuous fantasy (not in reality, but just a veneer) that makes them a living. If you want to see them dance naked and get lapdances, that falls well into the realm of that fantasy, and the superficiality (or a version of marginalization) is fine and dandy, because it makes them money and ends the moment they leave their places. If you want to date them, then you sidestep that fantasy in reality, whether you like it or not. In reality a dancer is a full blooded human being with likes, dislikes, flaws, attributes, foibles and habits. The same marginalization that works within the club is totally offensive outside the club. If you pursue someone to date because you like them as a person, then the relationship has the full potential to blossom into something satisfying for the both of you. If you pursue someone to date because of only one aspect, then, even if she agrees to see you, it’s totally one dimensional on your part, and doomed from the start. Dating today is fraught with enough dangers to both body and mind that it’s not surprising that they jump all over you for touting one aspect to date.

    You seem to have asked the question not to find out peoples opinions, but only to validate your preconceived notions. Because of that this question has produced more of an argument than a debate.


    PJ

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    Default Re: The most important question of all

    "You seem to have asked the question not to find out peoples opinions, but only to validate your preconceived notions. Because of that this question has produced more of an argument than a debate."

    You aren't even close, but thanks for the free psychoanalysis.

    I asked the original question because I would like to meet a stripper. Nothing more. Nothing less. If I want validation of my preconceived notions I will read this semesters exams.

    As for any notions, preconceived or otherwise, I have yet to see a response that comes close to what I am thinking.

  5. #30
    Featured Member Prester_John's Avatar
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    Default Re: The most important question of all


    As for any notions, preconceived or otherwise, I have yet to see a response that comes close to what I am thinking.

    You just confirmed yourself you have preconceived notions by these very words.

    Its also interesting that of the entire post, you chose only to comment on the last part.

  6. #31
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    Default Re: The most important question of all

    The last thing I am trying to do is pick a fight with some guy I don't know.

    However, everybody has preconceived notions about anything they have given consideration to. Obviously, since I asked the question as to where the best place to meet a dancer outside the worldplace, I had given given the issue some attention, come to the conclusion that I have enjoyed meeting dancers and would like to see what they are like in real life.

    So yes, I have the preconceived notion that it might be interesting to meet somebody who does this for a living.

    I do not have the opportunity to meet dancers through my current social network or job.

    What is the problem?

    Geez!!

  7. #32
    Featured Member Prester_John's Avatar
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    Default Re: The most important question of all

    Pick a fight? My friend, this is an Internet Web Board. It is inherently impossible to do actual fighting. Don't get all worked up over a less-than-positive response.

    If you noticed, I tempered my analysis of your post with the word "seems" because obviously I can't see inside your head, and am perfectly aware and okay with the fact that I can be wrong about your intentions. Thats actually the way I operate. Anyone who thinks they can't be wrong is someone who never learns.

    All that being said, I am merely using my perceptions (and mine alone) to draw the conclusion that you will not get a satisfactory response by your query, because your seemingly preconcieved notions run counter to what all the dancers on this board think. THEIR notions are more substantial, becuase they are the target of your quest. As a adult, you can either take this to heart, take a little bit, or nothing at all (because my word isnt Canon Law). You have that freedom to do so.

    Hope that helps. If not, our lives go on....

    PJ

  8. #33
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    Default Re: The most important question of all

    Why does this all have to be so complicated?

    I would date a dancer because I like a girl who takes care of her body and knows how to dress. I like a girl who can "be sexy" when she wants and knows how to go all out.

    A dancer, at least most of the time, fits that description. The majority have nice curvy yet slim bodies.

    Aside from that, I don't care how hot you are in those regards, if you aren't personally or even personality-wise what I want, you are not for me as well.

    Does that help?

    BL

  9. #34
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    Default Re: The most important question of all

    Many dancers just because they wear sexy outfits and heels in the club look quite the opposite in everyday life. If you don't believe me hang out in your car after closing time and look at how lots of dancers look when going home. No makeup on, flip flops, many are not into being fashionable dressers regularly. To find a girl who is a fashion plate, always wears her hair down and has on makeup and rarely will go out without heels and is into looking tastefully sexy is not a trait lots of dancers have. You can find that in the traditional world easier than in a club. A well kept and classy woman such as Dr. Phil's wife with a few exceptions will be more readily found in the professional world.

    Report back to us after you have observed dancers appearances in street clothes for several nights.



  10. #35
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    Default Re: The most important question of all

    I have dated and had many relationships with women who have danced. I found them to be extremely honest in their views and beliefs, very intolerant of lieing and procrastination, having great desire to be viewed for who they really are.

    Some who have crossed my path have been highly educated and focused, some chemically dependent, some with excessive baggage that came out after the "honeymoon" was over.

    Point is, they are no different than anyone else. I never discussed their career with them or visited them at work after we became close. If the relationship progressed to a serious level, I agreed to take care of them financially so that they could choose to do something else.

    That was one point that was not negotiable.

    Any guy who boasts or brags that he has a "trophy" as a girlfriend is only there for his ego. To bring friends in and gawk and lay victory to your conquest is only showing what that person is really there for.

    I have met some who sadly had to support another and were so co-dependent they could not see what was best for them. I would shake my head at the fact that one loser would come in and ask his "fiancee" to give him money so he could go out with his buddies.

    What have I learned? everyone is human and everyone is different. Dating is variety until you meet someone you connect with. I like dancers and I love dating them.

    I have never had a problem until the M word pops up.... then my own fear of committment comes to view



  11. #36
    Veteran Member foxee555's Avatar
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    Default Re: The most important question of all

    Why wouldn't all men want to actively seek out strippers to date? I mean I just rolled out of bed and into my 8in. heels so I could get into a teddy and full blown makeup. That way I'll be all set to blow my man as soon as he walks in the door. Then we'll invite over my stripper friends for a big ol' stripper orgy! Cuz that's what us strippers do!

    SYKE!! HAHA!!

    Yeah, I'm reading this as I eat my cornflakes, in my pajamas, picking a zit with my other hand, in between commercials on Emeril. Glamorous ain't it? LOL!!
    Like I say, why wouldn't all men...
    I am lazy and I like to party


  12. #37
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    Default Re: The most important question of all

    that was hilarious...thanks foxee


  13. #38
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    Default Re: The most important question of all


    Point is, they are no different than anyone else. I never discussed their career with them or visited them at work after we became close. If the relationship progressed to a serious level, I agreed to take care of them financially so that they could choose to do something else.

    That was one point that was not negotiable.
    Wow, I just couldn't help myself... To the original poster, don't do it. I thought myself to be a veteran of the club scene over many years; have known many dancers across many states and befriended some (at least I thought they were friends). Only had one relationship with a dancer (now ex-dancer) and amazingly we are together after several years. But if you asked me if I would do it all over again, I think I can honestly say that I would -- but only for her. But I know I would not ever, ever do this again with another dancer -- it is too hard.

    We met at her club. I thought I was cool. She was definitely working me, using every trick she knew. I thought I was playing her, using my advanced know-how. We played each other into a gruelling love-hate, cross-country, all-or-nothing relationship. It's been several years now -- and to this day, we don't have any artificial things keeping us together. We are both financially independent and we can both walk whenever we want (and we have, many times). It's not for the faint of heart.

    To The Connoisseur -- I'm surprised no dancers responded to that little sentence, "that was one point that was not negotiable." It sounded a bit like after you developed a serious relationship, you determined that she had to be saved from her dancing profession in order to pursue something more worthwhile.

    My tiny bit of experience says that none of these dancers need to be saved by anyone. They've already saved themselves by becoming financially independent -- I'd say the last thing they'd want was to lose that.

  14. #39
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    Default Re: The most important question of all

    My tiny bit of experience says that none of these dancers need to be saved by anyone. They've already saved themselves by becoming financially independent -- I'd say the last thing they'd want was to lose that.
    Some need it....not all the dancers are like the ones on stripperweb. Half of them don't even have a checking account and so many are so fucked up on drugs that they are the exact opposite of financially independent. Having money and knowiing how to use it are two totally different things.

    And it's a big myth that dancers are making big bucks. Again, the girls on stripperweb aren't like a typical dancer. We have computers and take the job seriously enough to educate ourselves on how to better ourselves in the business. I would imagine the girls here are in the top percentile of earners at their respective clubs.

    Anyway, I'd never date a dancer. I can't even befriend them!

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    Default Re: The most important question of all


    Some need it....not all the dancers are like the ones on stripperweb. Half of them don't even have a checking account and so many are so fucked up on drugs that they are the exact opposite of financially independent. Having money and knowing how to use it are two totally different things.
    Yes, it is sad but true. I'm sure we all know some collection of dancers that may not be very careful and are being exploited in some way. And we probably also know some dancers who are very intelligent with their choices and their future plans. This doesn't, however, make dancers unique -- we could probably say similar things about every other segment of the population.

    I guess the idea I was trying to present was that given my tiny bit of experience, many of them [dancers] would rather be dead than let someone else tell them what to do. And when you can make bank, you can do whatever you want... So who needs some guy setting conditions?



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    Veteran Member coolshot's Avatar
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    Default Re: The most important question of all

    lets rephrase shall we?
    Where do i meet a strong independant woman in chicago? Looking for someone who makes her own money, smart and takes care of herself.
    I want a lady who is confident with a her body and flaunts her hard work at the gym. I would really like someone outgoing and at the same time responsible,grounded, and knows what needs to be done.

    I am smart,nice guy who is a lawyer who is seeking someone who has a different lifestyle than me because I think hanging out with different types
    of people will help me to grow into a more well rounded person.
    whats a PL to do?

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    Default Re: The most important question of all

    LOL, I've heard complaints about this topic - but honestly I think most are being polite and there has been good variety in the opinions expressed. Some with real gems of knowledge.

    CG don't know if you'll get a straight answer, but not sure there is one.

    It has been a great read so far. Remember - this is just a place to shoot ideas and because of the technology - they stick for a moment in time. Don't take it too seriously.
    We all imagine ourselves the agents of our destiny, capable of determining our own fate. But have we truly any choice in when we rise, or when we fall, or does a force larger than ourselves bid us our direction. Is it evolution that takes us by the hand, does Science point our way, or is it God who intervenes keeping us safe.

    So much struggle for meaning, for purpose. And in the end, we find it only in each other. Our shared experience of the fantastic. And the mundane. The simple human need to find a kindred, to connect. And to know in our hearts... that we are not alone.
    Heroes

  18. #43
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    Default Re: The most important question of all

    Why exactly do you want to date a dancer?
    Sorry, folks...I'm just a newbie, and a male, and a customer.....

    but I've been asking myself this question lately, because I met a dancer that I really like. Not because she's hyper-sexual, she's a normal person who happens to have a heart as big as the world. Of course she's georgeous (I'm not complaining lol), but it's after we had some long talks that I began to really like her.
    I agree 100% that if you want to date a dancer BECAUSE she's a dancer...your motives are probably wrong.
    BUT....now that I met this gal, I'm scared to death, because of all the stuff I read about how "dumb it is to date a stripper". Still, I'm moving forward trying to do the best and right thing.

    Any suggestions?

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