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Thread: Why do they ask...?

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    Veteran Member TrixieFL's Avatar
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    Default Why do they ask...?

    Ok maybe it's just me but almost every customer I talk to asks me this: So what else do you do? or something alone those lines. like 'Where else do you work?'. It's like none of the guys think dancing is my only job. I don't get it. When I ask them what they do, they tell me and thats that. I don't then say 'uh huh and what else?'. Do most dancers have other jobs?? Don't they realize how many hours we work and that our pay is good? Why assume we work two jobs? Someone hopefully can explain this to me. ???

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    Member ibenu's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why do they ask...?

    LOL Cause they are men?? They cant think of anything good to say sometimes.. I also work in Health care.. nursing, and Personal care for quads and para's also cerebral palsy boccia ball.. good girl gone bad.. tell them a story that's what they are there for

    My point, oh yes, take the reigns at that point and go for the bucks.. weave a great story of your off time to get them horny....

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    Veteran Member Naomi_Tx's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why do they ask...?

    LOL Cause they are men?? They cant think of anything good to say sometimes.. I also work in Health care.. nursing, and Personal care for quads and para's also cerebral palsy boccia ball.. good girl gone bad.. tell them a story that's what they are there for

    For the most part, I think, they're just trying to avoid an awkward silence. I try to keep some mystery. Infatuated men tend to make the best customers, the challenge is thrilling.

    I reply coyly, "as little as possible, I was made for leisure and warm bubble baths."

    "A woman can say more with a sigh than a man can say in a sermon."---Arnold Haultain

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    Default Re: Why do they ask...?

    People want to look down on you if you're 'just a stripper.' They want to hear that you are a college student or have a day job. People think that if you are 'just a stripper' that you have no goals in life. They don't realize that strippers aren't always just working to support a coke habit. Many of us are resposible and have savings, investments, and retirement plans.

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    Senior Member m's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why do they ask...?

    ok from male perspective- partly because we want to make small talk and avoid silence... partly b/c we want to complete a fantasy.

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    Featured Member Prester_John's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why do they ask...?

    It sounds like to me that it’s a way of conversing with someone you know little about, and might not have a lot to say. I’ve had dancers ask me stuff like "So what do you do for fun" or "what brings you here" etc. They are open ended, neutral questions that seem a little inane on the surface, but when you have just met someone in the pseudo-intimate setting of a SC, what else would they say? I would guess that most women would be able to tell if they are merely trying to be conversational or if they really have a "you’re just a stripper" mentality, like Mariah points out. We men aren't all that good at being cryptic

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    God/dess lestat1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why do they ask...?

    I don't know if this was a rhetorical question or not, but here are a few reasons I came up with for why customers might ask or assume you do something in addition to dancing:
    • My impression is that most dancers are not dancing 40+ hours/week (understandable, it's a physically demanding job). Thus dancing is techniclly a part-time job. Many people with part-time jobs also do something else (another job, school, a hobby, etc.) Currently I work part-time and go to school part-time.
    • While there are day shifts, the night-shift is usually larger. Thus many dancers have their days free to pursue something else if they chose (another job, school, a hobby, sleep, etc.)
    • Alcohol + FemaleNudity = Male - Brain
    • Like a professional athlete or model, dancing is not a long-term (your whole life) career. I would assume that an athlete, model, or dancer had thought about the future some and may be currently working on what they'll do after this career comes to an end.
    • Like me, many customers may become somewhat tongue-tied around a beautiful woman, increasingly so as her clothing is removed. This usually leads to saying something stupid, which leads to lonely nights, which leads to SCs. It's like The Lion King's Circle of Life
    -lestat1
    Quote Originally Posted by _Avery_ View Post
    omg, why is it so huge?!! lol lol

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    Default Re: Why do they ask...?

    This reminds me of something funny that happened the other night at work - I was chatting with a guy, and I asked him what he did, we talked about his job for a little while, then he asked, "So what do you do for a living?" I just looked at him for a second, and then we both burst out laughing. "Oh, my gosh, I'm sorry, I just wasn't thinking, it was like we were having a conversation at a regular bar!" I said,"That's all right. I'll be pleased to show you what I do for a living, though."
    Questions like that are what a wise dancer once told me are "framework" questions - the general stuff that you talk about with any stranger you wind up in a conversation with - where are you from, what do you do, what are your hobbies, etc. They may seem repetitive to us, but they are the starting point most people feel comfortable with.
    So when someone asks you what else you do and you are a full-time dancer, say so. They probably assume otherwise.

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    God/dess doc-catfish's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why do they ask...?

    Ok maybe it's just me but almost every customer I talk to asks me this: So what else do you do? or something alone those lines.
    Generally, when I ask a dancer that question, I'm really not trying to pry into her non-dancer life, just trying to break the ice. Personally I prefer that she ask about me first, but some dancers are so tightened up, they barely have the courage to ask for a simple tip for their stage show, so I have to take the initative.

    If the gal and I have a common interest, (music, sports, computers, philosiphy) then things really take off. When it comes time for her to ask if I'd like a dance, that effort to get acquainted with me may mean the difference between selling one dance and multiple dances.
    Former SCJ now in rehab.

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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why do they ask...?

    I used to get this all the time when i worked phone sex. I think it's because our jobs teeter on the verge of fantasy and reality. They want to suspend disbelief for just long enough to believe that a beautiful young woman really is interested in him for him....that we were just waiting in the bar all night for HIM to arrive! We aren't working because that would mean we are working him!

    Plus they get tongue tied. Have you ever had this conversation?

    Dancer: "Hi Baby"
    Customer: "hi, how are you"
    Dancer: "great, and you?"
    Customer" great, and you?"

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    Member Symone's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why do they ask...?

    Posted by: Emily Dancer: "Hi Baby"
    Customer: "hi, how are you"
    Dancer: "great, and you?"
    Customer" great, and you?"
    Posted by: Emily
    It's like hearing a recording
    Symmy

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    Featured Member sadbuttrue's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why do they ask...?

    Yeah, sometimes conversation is tough, though. And it depends on the night and hormone level.

    I can remember one night an ATF, I spent quite a bit of time with was looking SO FINE one night that I started to s-s--ttt--u-ter. She gently made fun of it. I don't stutter.

    Y'all are a lot to look at, sometimes.

    -Sad-
    Blonde jokes are two lines long so that men can understand them.

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    Default Re: Why do they ask...?

    I once met a customer who stuttered.I just told him I had a hearing problem and that he would have to excuse me if I didn't understand what he was saying right away.(I do kinda have a hearing problem.)
    Symmy

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    Featured Member Juliette_deSade's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why do they ask...?

    Some men are just referring to your outside hobbies! That's fairly easy to answer, right? And an instant conversation that can go back and forth for some time and branch out into tangents. It's not a bad question, really.

    Juliette de Sade
    The Texas Pin-up Stripteuse!

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    Default Re: Why do they ask...?

    Alcohol + FemaleNudity = Male - Brain


    oh lord so true..

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    Default Re: Why do they ask...?

    Alcohol + FemaleNudity = Male - Brain

    oh lord so true..
    Oh believe me, some of us don't even need alcohol!
    Former SCJ now in rehab.

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why do they ask...?

    Yes joking always works well. When guys ask me silly questions I always say something just a little smart-assed or sarcastic back, with a wink and a grin - they usually get the humor and that gets them into a having-fun mode. It's all pie from there. Of course once in a while I run into one who doesn't get my type of humor and then the whole mood is ruined, but it's ok because that lets me know right away we won't hit it off and there won't be any strings of dances with him - time to move on.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Default Re: Why do they ask...?

    Personally I gotta agree with Collete. I think its just sorta the norm for most guys just to start conversation.

    Personally theres one girl I'm a sorta-regular of....anyways we always talk stuff in general, nothing about personal life unless she brings it up. When I go back I can bring something up to see how things are.......


    Me: How are you doing tonight?
    Dancer: "Ok and yourself?
    Me: Not too bad, hows _(fill in the blank(school for instance)_ ?
    Dancer: Going well, exmas, blah blah blah, and you have a little min conversation going.

    Though I'm curious now, do these little conversation happen only when 1 on 1 interaction, or does it happen in a group of guy setting as well?

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    Default Re: Why do they ask...?

    People want to look down on you if you're 'just a stripper.' They want to hear that you are a college student or have a day job. People think that if you are 'just a stripper' that you have no goals in life. They don't realize that strippers aren't always just working to support a coke habit. Many of us are resposible and have savings, investments, and retirement plans.
    From a customer point of view....... I don't "want to look down on you" if you are a stripper but if that is all you have going for you than I will.

    Good Dancers make great money and have a narrow window of opportunity to apply it towards persuing an education, getting a home, putting things away for when they can't or no longer want to dance........

    So when I ask I want to know your not some dumb twit spending it as fast as your making it that will look back on the days and say "oh god I should have an education, house etc. by now..... I certainly made enough to do it........."

    Especially those of you that are single moms.......
    I have a difficult time meeting ladies!

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    Default Re: Why do they ask...?

    but does anyone find it sort of intrusive when guys ask what else you do? I am not particularly comfortable sharing details of my 'real world' life with customers (I'm a grad student) even though I guess I understand sometimes you are grasping at straws to make conversation. But I totally prefer guys who understand that this is my JOB and it's their job to be fun and pleasant and buy dances and not pry into my life.

    whispers I am interested - does it affect how much time/money you want to spend with a dancer if she's investing/going to school etc instead of "just a dancer?"

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    Default Re: Why do they ask...?

    A couple of things affect how much I spend on a lady.

    1) Are you going to take the night off sometime and spend it with me out on the town? Leading to other things? Yes. I am a dawg and freely admit it but I also take No for an answer without issues.

    2) Are you interesting with a good sense of humor and not trying to hustle me? In between my quests for "bagging another dancer" I do like to sit and talk, relax and unwind. I tip exceptionally well on stages .i.e. If your sitting with me and not trying to hustle me for dances I'll usually tip a couple of tens on every stage you do, buy you and your friends drinks and when I leave slip you enough so that you made a minimum between the stages and what I give you of $100 an hour. If I'm hanging with friends or entertaining clients I will also pay for dances for them as well. I'm not going to be possessive of your time and should you go hustle a few dances from others and come back by your seat will be waiting.

    For example I used to visit one lady at the Palace Mens CLub in San Antonio, Texas that was an intern at Southwest Research while writing a thesis. She held a degree in Molecular Biology and was working on her PHD. I spent $300-$500 on her weekly for around a year and paid a semester of college for her. I hit on her once in the early days of the friendship, got told no, but couldn't pass on the conversations we had. We were and are still today, great friends.

    One thing here though. I have had many a lady like to sit and talk to me for hours as I'm a pretty good listener and tend to give good advice. Ladies that are in abusive relationship for some reason end up drawn to me. If your the kind of lady with a guy waiting to take your money from you when you get home or your the breadwinner in a disfunctional relationship I'll seldom hand over much cash at all. I'll buy dinners, outfits, pay a cell phone get your car fixed but I won't hand you a dollar that is going to end up in some jerks pocket.




    And you don't have to be specific. Just saying your a full time college student or spend all your time off with your daughter while going to school part time or that your paying off some bills to get a new car can lead to more conversation and is not intrusive.

    Neither is discussing interests....... I met one lady that was involved in The Texas Renaissance Festival which I enjoyed tremendously.

    I spent a lot of money on an aspiring actress paying for acting lessons and a portfolio that I enjoyed spending time with.


    But if it's "hey buddy. I'm here to work. Wanna Dance?" than you might as well move on to the next guy.

    Oh Yeah.......

    If I like you at my table and the club does those annoying $1 or $5 dances I'll usually give you a Fifty to dance non stop for me and protect me from the vultures.





    I have a difficult time meeting ladies!

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    Featured Member aggieed's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why do they ask...?

    If your the kind of lady with a guy waiting to take your money from you when you get home or your the breadwinner in a disfunctional relationship I'll seldom hand over much cash at all.
    To that I wholeheartedly agree!!
    I'm a simple man, making my way through the universe.

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    Default Re: Why do they ask...?

    that's all true... I guess you have to talk about SOMETHING and if you eliminate the personal you wind up with the weather. (ha)

    But I'm still curious as to why you (or anyone) might enjoy a dancer more if she confirms she is "doing something else" with herself. What if you're 'just' a darn good stripper? Isn't that enough?

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    Default Re: Why do they ask...?

    ..........What if you're 'just' a darn good stripper? Isn't that enough?

    Not really.... At $20 a dance and 4 minutes or so a song if a guy drops $200 on you on dances he's only into 40 minutes of your time......

    If you think guys are there to watch you strip your not even close..... Thats a part of it but there is so much more...... It's more "Barber" or "Bartender"

    Let me ask you a question.

    Would you go to the same Beutician/Hair Stylist that did a great job but never spoke to you?
    I have a difficult time meeting ladies!

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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why do they ask...?

    I wondered about this....

    Like if I'm talking about how I'm investing my money and buying real estate and managing rentals, etc, does that turn them off? like, "she has enough money" and if it's too much and too ambitious, almost a turn-off....I guess I am unsure if guys find a woman that makes too much to be emasculating. I know a lot of guys I date have a problem when they find out I make more than they do. I makes them feel like less of a man because they can't provide or some crap.

    On the other hand, guys come to a strip club because there are naked girls there (otherwise they'd go to a regular bar, right), so it'd seem being the biggest bimbo possible would turn him on....think Anna Nicole Smith

    Don't know
    or maybe a happy medium?

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