Page 1 of 4 123 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 77

Thread: Stupid things us Customer's have done.......

  1. #1
    Banned G_real's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2002
    Location
    New Bedford, MA
    Posts
    62
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Stupid things us Customer's have done.......

    Felt like doing this just to see if I'm the only one who has done stupid things in the past.

    My personal favorite for me so far was 3 years ago I was getting a private dance. And the little room faced TVs. The TV was on and the Bruins were playing, and the girl caught me watching the game during the 2 for 1

    I thought she was going to lash out, but, turned out she was a hockey fan too so she understood, and asked what the score was !

  2. #2
    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2002
    Location
    Gettin the fuck outta Dodge!
    Posts
    14,241
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Stupid things us Customer's have done.......

    Let's see....

    -Spilled beer on my feet and shoes

    -Spilled beer on my dress

    -Cinged my hair with his cigar

    -Burned a spot on my dress

    -Threw my dress in the potted plant instead of on the chair next to him after I tossed it on his head

    -After inviting me to VIP following my stage show, asked me to find a girl for his friend. When I asked what type of girl he said, 'It doesn't matter, they're all the same'. Then looked at me and said, 'Except you of course!' He had just been going on about how awesome he thought I was

    -While sitting at the stage, commented to his friend that he didn't like the stretchmarks on the girls onstage, loud enough that she heard him

    -Got so excited tipping at the stage that he knocked his chair over

    -Got so excited during a dance, when I bent over in front of him he threw his head back and hollered loud enough that everyone thought I was hurting him and the bouncer came over to see what was wrong

    -Leaned over so far in his chair during a dance that the chair, he and I all went tumbling to the floor

    -Tried to slide so far down in his chair during a dance that he nearly slid onto the floor (drunk)

    -Got drunk and passed at the stage

    -Got drunk and passed out in VIP with a girl in his lap (wasn't my customer )

    -Laughed at something I said and farted at the same time

    -Tripped UP the stairs following me to VIP

    I could go on and on. Will post more as I think of them. This should be a funny thread

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

  3. #3
    Featured Member LEIGH_LANDON's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2002
    Location
    tee dot
    Posts
    1,476
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 6 Times in 6 Posts

    Default Re: Stupid things us Customer's have done.......

    Oh man you just brought back of flood of ha ha's!

    I had a customer mistake my little black pvc clutch purse for an ashtray AND butted his cigerette out on it! ( he paid for it after and was very remorseful..)

    How about what a dancer has done?? My best girlfriend had the worst $$$ night ever and was cranking in vip about it, before you know it she leans back in her chair and pulls her gown up between her legs leans all the way back back stillettos in the air and flicks her bic and blew a HUGE blue angel RIGHT IN VIP!
    I laughed SO freaking hard, my other freind fell off her chair laughing, the bouncer walked away with his jaw draggin and eyes all bugged out he could not BELIEVE what he just saw! The other bouncer who was sitting with us just put his head on the table - silent. The laughing did not stop I swear for 20 full minutes.

    I miss that bitch.....
    LIVE LONG & PROSPER!
    Leigh Landon

    Never explain yourself to anyone, because the person who likes you doesn't need it and the person that dislikes you won't believe it.

  4. #4
    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2002
    Location
    Gettin the fuck outta Dodge!
    Posts
    14,241
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Stupid things us Customer's have done.......

    LMAO!!!! I have done alot of stupid things in my time, but I don't think any were even close to being that funny

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

  5. #5
    Featured Member aggieed's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2002
    Posts
    780
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts

    Default Re: Stupid things us Customer's have done.......

    Hmmm....let's see...two things I'm never without in a strip club: cinammon gum and mint candy...think I have an oral fixation of some kind...

    ...anyway, I'm sitting on a bench seat near one of the side stages in my favorite club, and I have one of the mint candies in my mouth. A dancer is up on the stage doing her thing...not much is going on so she slides over to me and dances for me on stage. I'm watching with vested interest, crunching down on my candy, when all of a sudden and without warning, I start coughing...before I can slap my hand over my mouth, I had already blown a couple of chunks of candy onto her body. And you know how sticky and gooey those candies get when you take them out of your mouth? She was none too happy. :o
    I'm a simple man, making my way through the universe.

  6. #6
    Pamela
    Guest

    Default Re: Stupid things us Customer's have done.......

    A customer lost his cig. in my hair. Thank god it was half out at the time.
    In Lauderdale threw my panites to a customer and they landed on a woman.

    And i swung around on a pole that moved with you, and was going way too fast, kicked a drink off a table on to a guys lap.
    If you want to add falling alot...I do. Off the pole, flat on my back. Real attention getter...Yea stupid me.
    At least i have learned how NOT to bang my head anymore.

  7. #7
    God/dess
    Joined
    Dec 2002
    Location
    Puerto Rico
    Posts
    3,474
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 7 Times in 7 Posts

    Default Re: Stupid things us Customer's have done.......

    Once upon a time, back in May 2000 (it was a Saturday during Memorial Day Weekend) I went to a strip club for the first time in my life. My nephew took me to a club in Mayagüez, PR. One of the dancers had me lay down onstage and then laid herself on top of me. Didn't realize at the moment that it was a simulation of a sex act so I started to kiss and suck her breasts. Did it again her next time onstage; then finally on the third occasion she told me to stop it. So much for rookie mistakes .



  8. #8
    Featured Member electric_head's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2003
    Location
    North Kackalackie
    Posts
    1,035
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: Stupid things us Customer's have done.......

    Hey Pamela,
    The first time my ATF danced for me she hit the pole with her head really hard, ever since then everytime I walk in the club and she's there we have a good laugh over that. She said OUCH oh real damn sexy!
    Don't make me spank you!

  9. #9
    Guest

    Default Re: Stupid things us Customer's have done.......


    lay down onstage and then laid herself on top of me... I started to kiss and suck her breasts. Did it again her next time onstage; then finally on the third occasion she told me to stop it. So much for rookie mistakes.
    dude, you licked and sucked a dancer's boobs on stage on three different occasions and you didn't get booted??

  10. #10
    God/dess
    Joined
    Dec 2002
    Location
    Puerto Rico
    Posts
    3,474
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 7 Times in 7 Posts

    Default Re: Stupid things us Customer's have done.......

    dude, you licked and sucked a dancer's boobs on stage on three different occasions and you didn't get booted??
    Looking back, I was quite surprised she didn't tell on me .



  11. #11
    Banned G_real's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2002
    Location
    New Bedford, MA
    Posts
    62
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Stupid things us Customer's have done.......

    There was a girl at this small local club......Now normally I don't like to degrade a dancer, but, this girl was always strung out on something. Be it weed, crack, etc etc. Anyways one dsya it was slow and she was dancing (coral type stage) she layed on the floor and feel asleep in the middle of her set

  12. #12
    Featured Member LEIGH_LANDON's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2002
    Location
    tee dot
    Posts
    1,476
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 6 Times in 6 Posts

    Default Re: Stupid things us Customer's have done.......

    Have you all heard the peeler urban legend where as the girl has the tummy flu and swings around the pole and everybody got a hot lunch? I know **GROSS** but it happened to TWO girls I KNOW!!! For real.

    LIVE LONG & PROSPER!
    Leigh Landon

    Never explain yourself to anyone, because the person who likes you doesn't need it and the person that dislikes you won't believe it.

  13. #13
    Member wanna_be_rode's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2003
    Location
    Houston Texas
    Posts
    55
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: Stupid things us Customer's have done.......

    oh that was just wrong

    lol
    The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette
    a clear conscience is a sign of a bad memory

  14. #14
    Pamela
    Guest

    Default Re: Stupid things us Customer's have done.......

    Just for the record here ML has a good point, however "pot" will put you to sleep. It mellows you out. That strung out look. tired, etc.
    And if a person has untreated ADD, Xanax can act just the opposite on your body, making you "peppy".
    Now crack...Your target heart rate can reach 170 bpm or higher (heart failure at times is common.). It is possible however to pass out while on crack due to fast heart rate and not enough oxygen to the brain, temporary, but dangerous, we see this at times in the hospital.
    Pamela....Anyones guess what she was on.

  15. #15
    God/dess lestat1's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2002
    Location
    NY Capital District
    Posts
    3,775
    Thanks
    758
    Thanked 1,943 Times in 696 Posts
    My Mood
    Cynical

    Default Re: Stupid things us Customer's have done.......

    On my last visit to a SC I was sitting by the stage and received a particularly hot dollar-dance from a sexy dancer making the rounds. I gladly accepted her private dance offer, and got up to go buy a token from the bar at the back of the club. In my haste and excitement over my impending trip to the lap dance rooms upstairs I failed to notice the "effect" she had on me. Yes folks, I had a very noticeable, obvious "tent." It was too late to turn around and sit back down without drawing more attention, so I covered up as best I could, purchased the token, and hurried upstairs.

    -lestat1
    Quote Originally Posted by _Avery_ View Post
    omg, why is it so huge?!! lol lol

  16. #16
    Featured Member LEIGH_LANDON's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2002
    Location
    tee dot
    Posts
    1,476
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 6 Times in 6 Posts

    Default Re: Stupid things us Customer's have done.......

    I was doing a weak rated skin flick (no real sex just lotsa nudity all girl penthouse type stuff) with another dancer who just thought she was the SH*T, we all just tolerated or ignored her exceedingly obvious attempts to be the center of attention at ALL times, in any event she was just short of unbearable...
    We had this shower scene-- her and I and we were to soap eachother and pose and hold eachother oh so sexy well all the hot water and steam and soap, Miss Perfect had a spiderweb booger covering her whole nostril...I was DYING to laugh but time and filming is expensive and we were all cautioned to make the most of our scenes we just didnt have a billion dollar budget to take and retake, etc...so I slightly turn my head so the camera cant see my mouth move (we had music dubbed over) and I say "you gotta booger, hun, a booger, get it!" The look of shock and horror at the very thought of being human and having a booger was written all over her face, but the best part is; she turns her head (still filming) and rubs her nose, only resulting in smearing said booger across her nose and a bit onto her cheek!!
    "better?" she whispers...."ya, babe MUCH better"
    I smiled soooo sweetly.
    LIVE LONG & PROSPER!
    Leigh Landon

    Never explain yourself to anyone, because the person who likes you doesn't need it and the person that dislikes you won't believe it.

  17. #17
    God/dess Paris's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2002
    Location
    Oregon
    Posts
    6,345
    Thanks
    168
    Thanked 801 Times in 419 Posts

    Default Re: Stupid things us Customer's have done.......

    A dancer friend of mine was giving a private dance to a bachelor, and he threw up all over himself-She saw it coming and got out of the way!

    I got a ciggarette burn on my arm from a customer leaning in to get my entire attention. After making him aware (screaming in pain) of his error, I didn't get a tip, an apology -nothing.

    Guy comes into the club and proceeds to ask the dancers for money so he can buy a drink.


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


  18. #18
    Featured Member
    Joined
    May 2002
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    782
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 5 Times in 5 Posts

    Default Re: Stupid things us Customer's have done.......

    - Guy got drunk and passed out stageside. We had the bouncer make a "Do Not Disturb" sign to hang around his neck. And since he was snoozing with his hed back and mouth open, one girl poured his beer down his throat until he puked on himself.

    - Same guy. Always making the "I wanna lick you" tongue-movement-thing that is just so damned crass sleazy. Always. Oh, yes, that so makes me want to do a lap dance for a guy - really, it does.

    - SAME GUY! Puts a five dollar bill in his chair, with each end covered by a leg, and one side covered by his crotch. Tells me if I want it to pick it up with my teeth. LIKE HELL! The only way I was going after that was with a set of oven mitts and BBQ tongs.

    - Asks for a lap dance. Asks if he can play with my tits for an extra $20. When denied, says he still would like the lap dance and that he'll behave. Grabs my tit in the middle of said lap dance, and promptly slides a $20 in my garter. Says, "See that wasn't so bad, and I tipped you extra for the trouble!". OOOOOOOOH! I had his ass bounced.

    - Tried groping me while I was dancing stage side. Did not succeed. Waited until I bent over to speak to the tipping guy next to him, and BIT ME ON THE ASS! He got bounced too, for his own safety.

    - Sat stageside in a bikini club, and insisted that I strip fully nude. (Uh, no... I don't need the jail time or fine). When I refused to, he started screaming that I was a whore, and got the guys next to him to do the same. Did the same to the next girl on stage when she refused as well. Got bounced before she could stab him with her heels.

    - Insisted that I play something I hated and would never normally dance to. So I worked it into a set. The guy got up and left the moment my set was announced. Never again. Nope. No more special requests.

    - Trying very very hard to get me drunk, and asking after each drink if I would go home with him. No means no. Trying to get me drunk will not work, because I have many tricks for avoiding drunkenness when working. If you and I each have 6 beers, then by the time you finish your 6th, you've already had three times as much beer as I have.

    - Asking if I can supply drugs or know who can. Do I have "CVS" tattooed on my body anywhere?

    - Asking to have change made for a $10 or $20. Lame lame lame. Get off your lazy ass and walk to the bar. Garters are not sturdy enough to hold a cash register to my leg.

    - Getting pissed when I cannot spend my entire evening chatting you up. Time is money. I work for a reason - to pay bills.

    That's all the customer bonehead-moves that I can think of at the moment, that I have experienced.

    McCain

  19. #19
    God/dess Paris's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2002
    Location
    Oregon
    Posts
    6,345
    Thanks
    168
    Thanked 801 Times in 419 Posts

    Default Re: Stupid things us Customer's have done.......

    OMG-McCain, I love the drink move! I never thought of that one myself. I usually just order virgin drinks directly from the waitress, customer has no idea mine has no alcohol in it.


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


  20. #20
    Senior Member
    Joined
    Aug 2002
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    92
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: Stupid things us Customer's have done.......

    ...before you know it she leans back in her chair and pulls her gown up between her legs leans all the way back back stillettos in the air and flicks her bic and blew a HUGE blue angel RIGHT IN VIP!
    This sounds like such a hilarious story, but can someone enlighen me? Blue angel?


  21. #21
    Featured Member electric_head's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2003
    Location
    North Kackalackie
    Posts
    1,035
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: Stupid things us Customer's have done.......

    Claire,
    Another name for holding a lighter up to your ass and farting.
    Don't make me spank you!

  22. #22
    Featured Member LEIGH_LANDON's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2002
    Location
    tee dot
    Posts
    1,476
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 6 Times in 6 Posts

    Default Re: Stupid things us Customer's have done.......

    ...AND the resulting gas lights up and gives you a "blue" flame, hence the appropriated title of Blue Angel.

    And it IS funny as HELL!!!
    Especially a beautiful woman in a sexy floor length gown pulling such a locker room stunt, I STILL laugh at the memory.

    It was beautiful. LOL!!!
    LIVE LONG & PROSPER!
    Leigh Landon

    Never explain yourself to anyone, because the person who likes you doesn't need it and the person that dislikes you won't believe it.

  23. #23
    Senior Member
    Joined
    Aug 2002
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    92
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: Stupid things us Customer's have done.......

    LMAO! Thanks for the enlightenment....

  24. #24
    Featured Member Prester_John's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2003
    Location
    The Wastelands of New Jersey
    Posts
    1,839
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 14 Times in 9 Posts

    Default Re: Stupid things us Customer's have done.......

    The stupidest thing I’ve done was to walk into the dancers’ dressing room when I thought it was the bathroom. I was 22 at the time, and really had little experience with strip clubs (although of course, being a dumb 22 guy, I played off to all my friends that it was old hat for me). At this one club (since closed in the 11 intervening years) I asked a friend where the bathrooms were. He said "Over there, I think" without looking, which turned out to be, of course, the wrong place. Having too much alcohol in me, I made a beeline for it and was practically pummeled by everyone after entering. It was pretty much a given that no one believed me that I had really made a mistake. "Sure you didn’t know". We were lucky to have gotten out of there.

    Im glad I don’t drink anymore. Keeps me clear headed in new clubs.

    PJ

  25. #25
    Guest

    Default Re: Stupid things us Customer's have done.......

    -I was onstage doing a dance for a bachelor. He was sitting in the chair, so drunk he could barely sit in thte chair. His buddies were obnoxiously cheering him on, when all of a sudden he said, "Uh oh" and pissed allover himself and on the stage. YUCK!

    -Doing a lap dance for a gentlemen when all of a sudden my long hair got caught on his pants zipper.

    -Doing a dance for a guy when he wife or girlfriend walked up and threw a drink at him and smacked him. The bouncers dragged her out and he sat in the club the rest of the night!!!!!

    -Drunk Bachelor was tipping me onstage when I saw he look queasy, I jumped out of the way just as he puked allover the stage.

Page 1 of 4 123 ... LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Here all all the stupid things I want to know
    By wrabbitplay in forum Newbie Board
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 04-18-2006, 07:50 AM
  2. Stupid things custies say:
    By sexy_celeste in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 29
    Last Post: 02-08-2006, 05:33 PM
  3. Stupid things said by Strippers
    By mr_punk in forum Shop Talk
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 09-04-2004, 11:18 AM
  4. Replies: 14
    Last Post: 06-12-2004, 05:04 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •