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Thread: Do you guys hang out with each other

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    Veteran Member coolshot's Avatar
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    Default Do you guys hang out with each other

    Hi to everyone.
    This is came about while reading posts about stealing and criticizing others and I was just curious. Do any of the dancers hang out with each other as friends and such. I mean if everyone doesn't trust anybody and everyone is talking smack about each other I would assume nobody would get along. I know dancers sometimes go out to eat with others(as opposed to eat each other out LOL) but to me it seems like a safety in numbers thing or "work related shop talk"

    Another thing I wanted to know is who do you guys hang out with, meaning who's in your clique. Are you guys the good girls, the straight hustlers, the fatty chicks. One thing I noticed is that the horrible dancers (looks, personality,service) all hang out together.

    want to obeserve bad dancers here in SF, go hang out in the lobby of MSC, as they try to scam money from new guys with a girl-girl show. In LA, go to SR-LA and watch the girls who hang out by the fireplace.
    whats a PL to do?

  2. #2
    Featured Member susan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you guys hang out with each other

    Of course, coolshot. We all hang out with each other all the time. When we're not at the club, we're all over at some fashionable condo some where, usually nude in the hot tub sipping champagne or slowly, gently rubbing oil on each other. At least two or three times a day, we all shower together. Of course, we all sleep two or three to a bed.....

    NOT!!!!

    Look, fella, it's a friggin job. We no more hang out with each other off-duty than YOU hang out with your "buddies" from work. In fact, it's prolly LESS than that. I hate to disappoint you -- or burst any nice daydreams you might have -- but "off duty", you wouldn't recognize most of us and you CERTAINLY wouldn't find our daytime lives to be very sexy. A fairly large number of us (not me -- thank GOD) are single Moms. They dress in frumpy jeans and sweatshirts and spend gobs and gobs of time changing diapers. Lots of girls (me -- when I was dancing) are in school full time and have friends and roommates who are TOTALLY removed from the club scene. Lots of dancers are married and have surprisingly normal home lives, with husbands, kids, and fairly typical white-bread existances.

    Maybe one in fifty dancers (the "featured" girls) have "daylight hours" lives which are tied to their dance careers, and these are usually occupied with photo shoots, sometimes film work, etc. I've done a LITTLE of that, and it's definitely about as glamourous as working at a grocery store.

    At the other end of the spectrum (maybe one in ten) there are dancers who have truly shitty lives. Junkies, alcoholics, girls in battered or abusive relationships, etc. It's a slightly higher number than you'd see in an office or a store, cuz often girls who are in these relationships get forced into the sex trade by abusive boyfriends who think dancing is quick, easy money. However, dancing doesn't CAUSE that behavior -- just the opposite.

    Bottom line, though -- nearly nine out of ten dancers have fairly mundane lives and are no more likely to hang out with one another in the daylight hours than we would otherwise. Often dancers room together for the same reason girls who work at Wal-Mart may end up rooming together. However, our home lives are prolly MORE boring than the Wal Mart girls, cuz, let's face it, we NEVER sit around fantasizing about what life would be like if we were glamourous exotic dancers!

  3. #3
    Pamela
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    Default Re: Do you guys hang out with each other

    I have met a couple at Pure Platinum when working there, we never hung out. I find now that i have moved more north Fl. we get along better.
    No, i do not hang out with other dancers. I like some just fine, but i am there to make money not friends. If someone asks me a question i will talk. I usually say hello and good-bye, and leave it at that.
    I have learned some, not all dancers when becoming "buds" will back stab. I see it alot, one week they are best friends, then they are fighting over some guy in the club. For me honestly, it's best to keep to myself and do my job, the business has taught me this. I am not so hard to get along with in the club, but i do look at every dancer as competetion, and taking away from my money! They are nice girls, but i want no catfights. And will speak inside the dressing room, out on the fllor, forget it. I am working. Customers are on my mind. Not the dancers. So i don't develope a relationship outside work with them.
    Thats me, but i am nice to work with, yes.
    Pamela

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    Default Re: Do you guys hang out with each other

    Although I feel that Susan's correct when it come's to large club's in the bigger city's, the opposite is true in small town's/city's and smaller club's everywhere.

    I have a medium size club and I am the owner/manager. I'm there all the time, I love it, why wouldn't I be there. We are catigorically " club people ". When you spend so much of your time being an actress in a fantasy world, it's nice to have people you trust the vent, talk shop, compare note's, complain and get or receive advise from. No one outside of our world really has the insight to understand.

    A majority of us go to breakfast at least once a week.
    I host probably 10 or 12 bar-b-que's a year, I have Christmas party's and Holloween party's and Birthday bashes, ect.... Most everyone attend's and has fun.

    We get together as a group and go to movie's on say a sunday evening.

    Not that we do everything together or that everyone attend's but almost all the girl's do thing's with other girl's IE; tanning, shopping at the mall and club hopping.

    One memorable 4th of July, me, a DJ friend from another club and the head bouncer from yet another club ( we are all very good friend's ) threw a major party on like the 6th cuz the 4th fell on a Friday. We had like $1200 worth of firework's ( alot of the dancer's and attendee's chipped in a week before the party ) and nearly 100 " club people " from pretty much every club in the area ( alot of girl's drift back and forth from club to club and stay friendly with the people they worked with ) where in attendance. We had Dancer's, Bouncer's, Dj's, Manager's and there significant other's and children. That event happened about 5 year's ago and went off without a hitch or incident, hell a few fence's where even mended over the coarse of the night. Hell they still talk about it today, Although far from the norm I wanted to add it.

    On the other side of the coin I had good friend that left the club to dance in Vegas and she worked at a huge club there with like 150 girl's a shift. So many girl's coming and going constantly that they didn't bother to attempt to get to know each other and no one trusted anyone. She called me like a week after she got there and started working crying her eye's out because she felt so alone and no one seemed to want to make's friend's. She learned to adjust as many of the girl's must for there own defense, the best of the best and the worst of the worse can be found in club's like that.

    Damn can I go on or what [rollin]

    In short I guess it's safe to say ..... depend's on where you are. The money's not as good here as other place's, but the camaraderie certainly is.

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    Senior Member cassidykarma's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you guys hang out with each other

    well let's see. Its a smaller town here (about 200,000 people) and the way we all relate to each other is about half and half. While I don't call the girls from work often, we could qualify ourselves as friends (us local girls anyway) For the most part, we are all very friendly with each other. We go to parties after work sometimes (at one of the dancers, bouncers, or bartenders) There are a few girls I have done things with besides party too. But yeah, you know, I noticed years ago that we don't all get to be sooooo close, shopping and things like that. My best friends are usually girls that don't dance.

    But what does everyone else think? I think dancers usually hae a lot more male friends...female friends are much harder to come by...

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    Default Re: Do you guys hang out with each other

    In my experience, young "party girl" dancers are more likely to hang out together after hours and with guys they know from the clubs. It's much like group hanging out in high school.... No question that smaller clubs tend to have more sense of community. When you only have 5-8 dancers per shift, they tend to know and understand each other better.

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    God/dess velvet's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you guys hang out with each other

    i met two of my best friends at diffrent clubs. they are still my best friends, but that is 2 out of what 100's
    As quoted by Luckyone:
    I asked directions from a genie in a bottle of jim beam and she lied to me.

    Methodus saved my life!

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    Veteran Member coolshot's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you guys hang out with each other

    To susan:I was just curious if you hung out and did "normal" things together. hanging out doesn't mean orgy time nor was I thinking about that at the time, but now that you put it in my head, hmmmmm lol.

    To pamela: I can't imagine being in work mode all the time. I get paid by the hour so me and my co-workers sit around and bullshit alot. I find watercooler time to be very relaxing and helps to get focused.

    I guess really what this is about is that I have trouble with the notion that you guys tend to keep your work seperate with your private lives so much. I've met some of my best friends at work. I even dated one once. we hang out all the time outside and inside work. We go to bars, movies, clubs and SC's for birthdays.They know my mom. My best friend is my ex-manager who got me going to SCs. So much of my life is blended in its not hard to have someone as a friend/coworker/ fellow student/girlfriend all in one. Everyone I know thats not family is at least 2 of em.
    whats a PL to do?

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    Veteran Member NYCjacqueline's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you guys hang out with each other

    As for me, yes, I have a few girls that I hang out with - Like crazybob pointed out, I think a big factor is that there is such high turnover in clubs, that a lot of girls don't feel the need or desire to cultivate friendships only to have them leave - lose touch - go to another club, etc.
    The girls that I do hang out with, have been at my club for 3-6 years- and I've been there almost 2...but we didn't start hanging out, really until a year ago - so it took a good year to "trust" each other in a more personal way.

    Of course, I pick my "friends" carefully- not all girls get along, especially when you work together - but it has been really great - we help each other make money at the club, and go out sometimes after work or on a sunday night when the club is closed. We're not 'the party girls' either - sometimes we'll just go get dinner and listen to music and hang- or go out to a bar, etc....

    Jax


    "You have no idea what a long-legged gal can do without doing anything." -Claudette Colbert

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    God/dess lestat1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you guys hang out with each other

    Of course, coolshot. We all hang out with each other all the time. When we're not at the club, we're all over at some fashionable condo some where, usually nude in the hot tub sipping champagne or slowly, gently rubbing oil on each other. At least two or three times a day, we all shower together. Of course, we all sleep two or three to a bed.....

    NOT!!!!
    You forgot the pillow fights that take place in slow-motion, practicing your cheerleader routines, trying on each other's lingerie, spraying each other's bikinis with the hose while washing the car, and flashing the pizza guy.

    -lestat1
    Quote Originally Posted by _Avery_ View Post
    omg, why is it so huge?!! lol lol

  11. #11
    Pamela
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    Default Re: Do you guys hang out with each other

    To answer you coolshot i don't get paid by the hour, so it's kinda get in, work it, get money. I want to speak with customers, and hang with them inside the club, so i don't need the company of other dancers, plus i admit..I am competetive. I want the customers. I hustle nicely however. Never step on anyones toes.
    I work for a Trauma center as my other job, so there i have a handful of friends, female. Just with dancing, guess i have seen to many girls go down who were great friends. So i stay away, just work!

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    Default Re: Do you guys hang out with each other

    I have a couple of friends that I've met dancing. It's nice to be able to talk to someone that can relate with your dancer issues. It soo competitive and busy in big city clubs you usually don't have time to make friends though. Friends might also be a strong word, more like companions would be better. Someone to hit the clubs with or get hired at another strip club together. Most of the girls I know keep the friendship on a superficial level not getting to specific about there boyfriends, kids, etc...

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    God/dess Lena's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you guys hang out with each other


    Not really. I can count the freinds I've made dancing on less than one hand, and in seven years of dancing there's only one dancer that's been to my house (and that was AFTER we worked together). I am polite at work, but I don't get involved. Yeah, once in a blue moon several girls might go out for breakfast together after work, but more often they aren't speaking to eachother or the house mom's trying to keep them seperated so they don't kill each other.

    Most clubs do have a little clique of girls that are freinds, and out of that group two or three might be freinds outside of the club. But that isn't the majority.

    The people I meet at the club tend to have very different lives from me. I don't want to be in their life, and I certainly don't want them in my life.

    I have networked with other girls about clubs a couple times. Ie, I meet a relatively sane and sober girl at an audition, we are both less than pleased with the club, we exchange cell numbers and go audition at different clubs and share info. But I don't tell them my real name or where I really live or anything like that.

    Lena



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    Default Re: Do you guys hang out with each other

    Every once in a blue moon there has been one or two coworkers with whom I became comfortable enough to actually even consider socializing with outside of work. In retrospect, this has primarily been in smaller clubs, and especially when I was much younger.

    A lot of it comes down to the fact that we want our personal lives separate, we are too busy doing other things, our personalities clash, or we have very little respect for the antics of many of our coworkers.

    McCain

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    Curious Guest
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    Default Susan and McCain

    How did you get your dolls uploaded oin your profile and your posts? I have a doll but I can't seem to get it to up load.
    Thanks


    Sorry for the thread hijack

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    Default Re: Do you guys hang out with each other

    I work for Crazybob and we have a hell of a good time when we all get together. The "6th of July" party was awesome!!! good times! of course I've worked at that club for 4 years now and we have ,most always, pretty much been a closenit family.

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    Featured Member LEIGH_LANDON's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you guys hang out with each other

    I have made a couple lifelong friends within the industry but as noted here its the exception not the rule.

    One primarily was my mentor. I was fumbling around in the beginning before meeting her and found in her a real kinship - she was so REAL and removed from the industry absolutely drawing a line between work and life. I learned valuable lessons thru her vast knowledge and I keep her close to my heart and we are true friends to this very day. She has long since quit.
    The other friend was a school mate that was already dancing before me, and helped me get into the business ahead of the game!

    Other than that - the friendships formed usually are fly by night and the comradery is all work related - and I like to leave my stillettos at the door.
    LIVE LONG & PROSPER!
    Leigh Landon

    Never explain yourself to anyone, because the person who likes you doesn't need it and the person that dislikes you won't believe it.

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    Featured Member Juliette_deSade's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you guys hang out with each other

    My met a girl i could call my best friend at work....but she isn't anymore. We were dubbed Double Trouble by everyone who knew us, and we sure raised hell. She was my drug buddy. I am clean now, and I have not seen her in over a year.

    These contacts never seem to last. I don't count on them anymore. It's better not being Trouble! I have retired my Gospel According to Hunter S. Thompson.

    Amen

    Juliette dS
    The Texas Pin-up Stripteuse!

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    Default Re: Do you guys hang out with each other

    Actually, alot of us at my home club do hang out. We've formed almost a "sisterhood." One girl went into cardiac arrest on stage a year ago and we held a strip-a-thon fundraiser before the club opened for normal business hours. All the money we made we donated to her family. We had another strip-a-thon fundraiser 2 months ago when another girl was murdered by her ex. Gave all the money to her mom for the kids. We even had our own memorial to help us have some closure since the funeral was halfway across the country. We argue, fight, get pissed off, get over it, got each others back, buy MAC, celebrate birthdays. We help each other out usually but sometimes it is "Girl, I got my own shit to worry about right now..."


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    Default Re: Do you guys hang out with each other

    My club is in a fairly small town, but there are lots of girls (possibly 80 total, 15-35 in any given night). Most of the girls are in their own cliques and almost everyone gets along. I have hung out many times with co-workers. A few were girls I knew before I or she started working there. I am about to move in with two of my former co-workers. They are probably the only girls I've met at the club that I would actually call friends. Since my town is kind of small, it sometimes made me uncomfortable to go out with girls from work because I felt like everyone knew who we were and where we worked. Personally, I am not into advertising in public that I'm a stripper and it seems like a lot of girls at my club do.

    Sapphire - that is truly admirable and touching.

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