Results 1 to 24 of 24

Thread: Wondering

  1. #1
    Banned G_real's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2002
    Location
    New Bedford, MA
    Posts
    62
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Wondering

    hello all, ok heres the deal

    I go to a club that is 40 miles away, because it beats the ones that are here in every aspect

    Anyways I always get a few dances with this one girl. Friday night, got dances with her, there was a new girl there too, and got dances with her. Didn't find out till later that they're friends, and come to the club together......... So tonight I go again (don't ask, bad day).... Do the samething with the two same girls, this time though me and the new girl talk for a little bit.

    Now the other girl basically treated me like shit the rest of the night, and even said when i asked her for a dance 'Why don't you go see my friend (new girl) you spent alot of time with her already"

    All I'm asking is what the hell that was and where the hell that came from because, pardon mon francais, it fucking ruined a good night........

    anythought,? any ideas,........ummm any anything?

    G

  2. #2
    Banned G_real's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2002
    Location
    New Bedford, MA
    Posts
    62
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Wondering

    ok, now I really need help. I went back tonight, just got in, and well tonight was interesting. I went there to see if things were cool between us again, etc. So I get there and apparently shes ignoring me now, as well as 2 other girls that I can oly assume she said too.

    does anyone else find this abit bizarre or is it just me?

  3. #3
    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2002
    Location
    Gettin the fuck outta Dodge!
    Posts
    14,241
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Wondering

    I find that bizarre. But there are a couple reasons she may be acting this way:

    1. She's trying to make you feel like you cheated on her, thereby hoping you will want to make up with her - and spend all your money on her as a result.

    2. She was actually hurt that you spent 'quality' time with the other girl.

    There's no telling which is correct - then maybe it's a combination of both. ???

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

  4. #4
    Banned G_real's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2002
    Location
    New Bedford, MA
    Posts
    62
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Wondering

    honestly I'm confused. The reason why I was with the girl was that we were just sitting and chatting. And its her friend.......and then Friday they both ignore me, I feel like I'm being boycotted again

    Did I break any unwritten rules of ettiquette? Once or twice I saw her looking at me, other then that she just stayed clear.........

    Guess I should stop trying to figure out women, cuz I'll never win

  5. #5
    Featured Member
    Joined
    May 2002
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    782
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 5 Times in 5 Posts

    Default Re: Wondering

    If you want my opinion, try this:

    The next time you go in, instead of picking her OR her friend for dances and conversation, try having both of them dance for you and sit with you at the same time. That way, neither of them can feel like the other was getting a bigger slice of your wallet and attention.

    I cannot guarantee that it will work, but I figure it can't hurt.... although, I do admit, this does sound a bit bizarre. Most girls won't do that to the customer - bad for business. They'll "work it out" between themselves behind closed doors.

    McCain

  6. #6
    Banned G_real's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2002
    Location
    New Bedford, MA
    Posts
    62
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Wondering

    Don't mean to offend or stereotype anyone,

    But to me, lets face it, money does talk. You want to make your money just as much as I want to make money. I agree with you McCain, sounds like a bad buisness decision to me.............

    Honestly though, I'm not saying they had a plan against me, or its a conspiracy, but to have neither of them even acknowledging me seemed kinda strange.......

    I'll just take my money and spend it else where then.....

  7. #7
    Featured Member
    Joined
    May 2002
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    782
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 5 Times in 5 Posts

    Default Re: Wondering

    Okay... for all the other gals who read this, please don't flame me... this is just my vindictive side showing through....

    G_Real,
    If you are truly aggravated about this, you *do* of course have that option of going to another club. That's the great thing about competitive business practices and anti-trust laws.

    But there is another twist on competitive business practices when it comes to dancers. Almost all of us work under "independent contractor" status (which is why we normally only get paid what we get tipped). That means each of us is essentially a walking, talking business in and of itself.

    So, if you want to show these two girls that what they have done is generally bad business, there is something else you can choose to do. It sounds mean, and I guess it is - I know it would piss me off - BUT you can choose to spend your money on another girl in the club, and snub them in return. Turn about being fair play and all. What it says to them is that they alienated their "moneyman" (assuming you were spending a higher amount of money on them than any other girls), and that he's found himself a new "favorite".

    There is one sticky point on this, though, that you need to realize. If there are attitudes in that club (and it sounds to me like there are), then they may begin demonstrating animosity to whomever the girl is that you choose to tip instead. Which can make her job a little less pleasant, if you catch my drift!

    There is one other option, as well, that you will most likely want to AVOID if you care about people keeping their jobs. I have, on one occasion, seen a customer who caught "attitude" so bad from a dancer because he tipped another gal, that he spoke with management about the problem. He informed management that if he was going to have to experience that when he came in, just because he exercised his right of choice, then he would be taking his money to another club. Most managers do NOT like this, because that means you are not spending money on their bar, etc, anymore, so THEIR club loses some income. In this situation that I saw, the girl lost her job. Of course, it probably helped that he was a regular customer who was in there every single weekend. If he was just someone who stopped in once every few weeks, I doubt management would have cared.

    Consider this: if it is a showclub - high class, upscale, all the girls are knockouts, etc - then it probably won't be all that bad for the "new favorite". Management in these clubs, in my personal experience, tend to turn a critical eye towards girls that start crap with other girls. They know it can be bad for business, not only because it makes it's way into customer dealings, but also because it can run off the dancers on the receiving end of hostility. Management does not like this, because good, attractive dancers, who work well with the customers and other dancers, are hard to find - they usually prefer to keep them around.

    If it is a neighborhood club - not sleazy, but not necessarily upscale, girls mostly average or better, mainly frequented by Joe Sixpack, white collar, lower level company employees, etc - then it may or may not get ugly for the "new favorite". In my experience, management in these clubs are usually half and half. Half of them seem to be critical of dancer "in-fighting", the other half don't seem to give a damn, unless it ends up with the cops being called out, or their best-looking dancer quitting.

    If it is a sleazy club - may be nice and may be not-so-nice, girls doing a lot of nasty things, management turning a blind eye to a lot of it - then expect the "new favorite" to have to deal with whatever ration of sh*t is dealt. My experience has been that management in these clubs usually do not give a damn about what is going on, so long as the cops are not involved, and so long as there is still money coming in. Unless the "new favorite" has got a strong backbone and stands up for herself behind the scenes, it could get ugly, indeed.

    Realize, though, that this is not always true of every one of these club classifications. These are generalizations based on *MY* personal experience as a dancer, who has worked all three levels of clubs, who's dealt with the behind-the-scenes stuff, and who has occasionally been on the receiving end of hostilities. And, as is true with all jobs, most clubs don't have many attitude problems, but there are a few that do. I have noticed that the better the quality of the club, the more the management tries to screen out "attitude problems".

    I hope this is helpful when you are choosing what course of action to pursue. It is my personal opinion that all customers have a right to choose which dancer they would like to patronize on any given evening, regardless of who their usual "favorite" is. It is also my contention that our customers do not come in to experience attitude problems, but rather to relax (and, in some cases, get away from the attitude problems their wives or g/f's may have), and therefore they should not be subjected to them. I tell everyone I know who starts dancing to always remember to smile, and to keep their personal problems and personality problems at home.

    McCain

  8. #8
    Pamela
    Guest

    Default Re: Wondering

    Could be a bit of jealousy amoung friends, but they don't want to stop the friendship because to them a guy is not worth it. Could have been a game, yes some play games. My advice, keep going to the same club, have fun with other dancers. Smile at her or the friend when they look at you. Keep your cool, and don't aproach them, whatever hapened, i think the novelty will wear off soon enough for them. But you lose nothing, bacause if they played games, they did not run you off. Stay enjoy yourself. Why leave, you are the paying customer? Their lose is another girls money.
    Pamela

  9. #9
    Member Rebecca's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2002
    Location
    London, Ontario
    Posts
    35
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Wondering

    Sometimes girls get very protective of their regulars. It is dancer ettiquette not to ask for a dance if you know that a perticular customer is a certain girl's regular, but if the customer asks the new girl for a dance, that is ok. Variety makes the world go round. Her name is not on you anywhere , you are allowed to spend your money any way you like.

    Rebecca
    Rebecca

  10. #10
    Member nola's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2003
    Location
    San Francisco
    Posts
    15
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Wondering

    Rebecca:
    Thanks for addressing dancer ettiquette. This seems like it could be a potential issue for a new dancer who is unaware the Do's and Don'ts. Does anyone have other ideas on ettiqutte a new dancer should be aware of? Also, how to go about learning what is and isn't acceptable once you get established at a particular club?

  11. #11
    Veteran Member hollyday's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2002
    Location
    london,ontario,canada
    Posts
    548
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts

    Default Re: Wondering

    since rebecca and i work together i feel can add my two cents
    rebecca has a regular lets call him dave...she danced for him for years yet ive always said hi to him in passing ...one day a couple months ago we started talking...before i asked him if we should dance...i politelly excused myself and found rebecca who was already busy...i asked here if she would mind if i kept dave busy for awhile...now it is not my intention to bleed dave dry in order for rebecca to burn...i got a couple dances and moved on...i would have been wrong of me to keep him there all night...but of course i am sure that is not the case in other clubs..i have to work with her and causing friction or fucking up her money on purpose would not be a good thing
    yet it would still be wrong for rebecca to bug dave and whine and say 'why'nt u go with holly' how childish is that
    blessed be

  12. #12
    God/dess
    Joined
    Sep 2002
    Posts
    8,031
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 143 Times in 42 Posts

    Default Re: Wondering

    Wow, that is bad business. I pretty much insist that any regular or big spender get dances from other girls - they return the favor, and he gets variety and therefore enjoys himself more, and appreciates me all the more when I return.
    Being jealous in a club is ridiculous! That's part of the fantasy of the club, lots of hot, willing women that want to spend time with you - why should a guy restict himself to just one?
    If I were a customer I would spend my time and money with the girls that showed they appreciated it and who I enjoyed being with. If I got attitude from them, their company would no longer be enjoyable and I would therefore move on. Dancers that react negatively like that need a serious attitude adjustment.

  13. #13
    Member Traveler's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2003
    Location
    Great Lakes area
    Posts
    15
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Wondering

    I know this is an old thread, but it's new to me! And I'm stuck at home tonight! So....

    I totally agree with Colettecall. Makes good business sense. There is a very good club in Chicago that is casual and rather laid back and has some knock-out women, and the best ones there are always offering to get other dancers for you if you wish. This often happens after I say I don't want another private dance, or I'm just sitting and watching the stage and I say I don't want a dance just yet from someone I've gotten to know. Obviously, some women don't offer to do this, but in my experience at some clubs (and and NOT at the super competitive places like Club O) the best ones make the effort. Sometimes I'll even ask a dancer I've been spending time with on a particular night who she recommends. Sure, she might only recommend her friends, but if you tell her the kind of woman/experience you are looking for, they seem to respect that, and that is cool. Cool beans.

  14. #14
    Banned G_real's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2002
    Location
    New Bedford, MA
    Posts
    62
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Wondering

    wowI didn't know this post was even still going on!

  15. #15
    God/dess Zabrina's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2003
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    2,892
    Thanks
    17
    Thanked 42 Times in 30 Posts

    Default Re: Wondering

    That sounds like a typical case of girl catty-ness. Often girls can be extremely competitive with one another, ESPECIALLY, between friends. Some times if you pay attention to the new friend the first will interepret that as a slap in the face, as if you are saying 'the new girl is hotter, old girl no longer interests you.' That leads to hurt feelings, and first girl snubbing you becuse she feels as if you snubbed her by choosing the new girl over her. In reality, these girls both need to grow up. Dancer/customer relations are not bf relations so theres no point in jealousy, and a customer has no duty to only get dances from one girl.

  16. #16
    Banned
    Joined
    May 2003
    Location
    CA.
    Posts
    929
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Wondering

    Hey G Real, possessiveness goes both ways. Two or more guys going for one girl or two or more girls going for one guy. it happens everywhere in life. If you didn't make any commitment to anyone then you're not tied to any single person. Whatever their problem is , they have to work it out amongst themselves. You have every right to choose the person of your favor .
    From the managements point of view ,they probably prefer you sample the entire selection. People will settle for favorites irreguardless . If you're not chosen then you have to find another compatible companion. That's life!

  17. #17
    God/dess
    Joined
    Apr 2003
    Location
    Renaissance City
    Posts
    3,343
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Wondering

    G-real, dancers can be money jealous, fun jealous and guy jealous.... I think the first dancer likes you and thought of you as her regular. She was hurt and angry when you showed interest in her friend. Maybe she doesn't have a father or stable guy relationship in her life. Maybe she's not very confident in herself. Maybe she has symptoms of borderline personality disorder (look it up).... I once had a beautiful dancer go off to a corner table and cry her eyes out because I got dances from her friend. A dancer can get incredibly upset if you connect with 1) her friend, 2) another girl she thinks is her main competitor, and 3) any girl in another club you tell her you like.... If you like this girl, go back to her, talk it over, and give her a hug. Tell her you'll stay with her if she does X, Y and Z. Things that make her think she has an advantage forever.... If you picked this girl in the first place, you probably don't want anyone else in that club. If you buy dances from a lesser choice, you're wasting your money. If you like her friend more, forget it, because the friend has already made an agreement not to hang out with you.... PS: The movie Fatal Attraction was about a woman with borderline personality disorder. If a girl cries her eyes out over you, go to another club.

  18. #18
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Apr 2003
    Location
    Springfield, Missouri
    Posts
    382
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Wondering

    Ok I see it like this, you stated ... wow like a year ago .... lol , that you would go there and get a few dance's with this one girl. Well to her I would say you are a regular, someone that make's her night when you arrive. In her eye's you are someone she has worked hard to develop a SC relationship with. She like's you for no other reason, then because you singled her out to obtain attention from. She, although it's wrong and way to common, kinda come's to expect you are there to see her and her alone.

    I see girl's who when on stage and one of there regular's walk in the door, there night take's a change for the better and you can see it all over them.

    My girl's, at least the conscientious one's, actually have notebook's with description of customer's and name's, notable feature's like job, wife, kid's, hobbies, like's/dislike's, ect. They do this in an effort to establish regular's and know that remembering those little thing's make's a guy think he was special enough to remember.

  19. #19
    God/dess
    Joined
    Apr 2003
    Location
    Renaissance City
    Posts
    3,343
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Wondering

    G_real, I agree with crazybob. Dancers LOVE getting undivided attention from guys they like. You should reconnect with this dancer if you like her.... I'm a customer and I keep notes in a computer file. Iy you remember the name of a dancer's daughter two months later, it means more than money. The details make a relationship special.... Always remember that a dancer can be gorgeous and not have confidence in her ability to connect with guys. So she might do things you don't understand, like pre-emptive rejection if she thinks you're losing interest in her. Maybe her dad left when she was 10. You never know.

  20. #20
    Featured Member The_Oceans's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2003
    Location
    SoCal, Valley of the Antelopes
    Posts
    1,522
    Thanks
    36
    Thanked 30 Times in 28 Posts

    Default Re: Wondering

    Well G_real, it's almost the first anniversary of your original post Are you going to let us know whatever happened with your (former?) favorite and her friend?

    If it's the kind of club where you can have a bouncer bring a dancer to you, you might ask around to see what the skinny is...and how you proceed may depend on what you hear.

    Then there's the direct approach; if you see her (or her friend) available, ask either or both of them for a dance...if either/both of them say no, ask why. If it's for a petty reason, or none at all, wash your hands of them. (If word's gotten around, whether valid or not, it may be best to skip that club altogether.)
    "Women, not girls, rule my world" - Prince

    "No parking on the dance floor" - Midnight Star

  21. #21
    Newbie Ishmael's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2003
    Posts
    10
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Wondering

    My $.02 worth....

    This kinda links back to the "Fantasy vs Reality" thread I started about a month back or so. Have you tried the obvious -- talking to her to see what her problem was? After all, if it's a head game, you'd know soon enough, whereas if she was genuinely hurt, she'd probably tell you (hurt my feelings, gave my money away, stole my friend, etc) and you could talk through the issue.

    As for the money part of it, this IS a free enterprise world, and as many of the ladies here have stated, this is a business. Customer Service is still king here, as it should be everywhere else. If you are not getting the experience you paid for, take your consumer dollars, and spend them where you do get your satisfaction. If you went to a restaurant and ordered a meal, and it was HORRIBLE, would you still keep coming back to the same place to eat again and again? Of course not. There are almost 300 MILLION people in the USA. I guarantee you that you will find another dancer that you find every bit as entertaining and attractive.

    Hope everyone's having a wonderful weekend!

    Call me ][shmael

  22. #22
    Banned G_real's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2002
    Location
    New Bedford, MA
    Posts
    62
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Wondering

    actually, in responce to the oceans. Both had left. The one i knew left sometime between Novmeber and February. Actually I haven't been to too many clubs since Nov 1st. Unfortunately my mother passed so my "spending" money has curtial dramitcally. Not to mention my free time running a small family buisness after work........so as you can guess I don't have time to be concerned about those little things anymore (no offence ladies)

  23. #23
    Veteran Member anklefrog's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2002
    Posts
    247
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 39 Times in 4 Posts

    Default Re: Wondering

    It's all about the $$$$! Never mind the fact that they are friends. They work there and that's how they pay their bills. Girl #1's cash flow is going to someone else, even if it is her friend. They probably made a 'agreement" to avoid you so they can remain friends and not get into arguments about you (your $ I mean).
    It's better to be looked over, than overlooked.

  24. #24
    Newbie harleyz's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2003
    Location
    Parkersburg, West Virginia
    Posts
    8
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Wondering

    This is a very competetive business. Some girls get very jelous. I don't agree with this. The cutomer is the one spending their money and have the right to spen it on whomever they want. If I am with a customer who appears interested in another dancer, I will always pull that girl in. Hey, if I can't get their money, than maybe someone else can and I'll find a customer who seem more into me. In the club I work at, we almost all get along. Most of us have worked together for a long time and we share. We have very strict rules about cutting someone else's throat. We don't tolerate it. we also don't like girls getting upset if a customer should chose someone else over them. We try to let them know that every customer has differant tastes and you can't alsways predict what they want to do. The only time I have a problem with another girl being with one of my customers is when you get a girl who will do alot more than they should.Why would a guy pay for a dance from someone who is only going to give them a dance when they can get alot more from someone else. But that is not really the customers problem/fault, that is with the dancers themselves. A dancer who is going to get pissed and ignore a customer because he got dances/spent time with, another dancer, is just selfish and immature and probably has alot of growing up to do.

Similar Threads

  1. Just wondering...
    By VenusGoddess in forum Political Poo
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 11-21-2004, 10:40 AM
  2. wondering
    By myiah in forum Dollar Den
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 11-11-2004, 04:35 AM
  3. just wondering
    By sallylou in forum General Board
    Replies: 24
    Last Post: 08-17-2003, 04:44 PM
  4. just wondering
    By gabrielle6574 in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 07-18-2003, 10:50 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •