Results 1 to 15 of 15

Thread: Top 10 Signs You Are RIL?

  1. #1
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Apr 2003
    Posts
    1,717
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Top 10 Signs You Are RIL?

    This may be covered somewhere else... Carlos: "I Can't Stop Thinking of Her" was close. I've read in other threads about dancers cutting off customers. What are the warning signs a customer should cut himself off from an ATF? I'm very conscious of the possibility of ending up a RIL and don't ever want to go there.

    Right now I'd say I love my ATF. I'm not "in love" with her. I see her twice a month and like nothing better than to have her entertain me from the beginning of her shift to the end. After 7 months of using her exclusively, she is still quite capable of casting that magic spell that has me thinking about her for a week or more. Our only other contact is an exchange of PMs to set up playdates. The amount of money changing hands does a pretty good job of keeping fantasy and reality seperate so far. I just want to know what to watch out for. Thanks!!!
    When the man says, "I do," it is the happiest day of her life.-Al Bundy

  2. #2
    Featured Member
    Joined
    May 2002
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    782
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 5 Times in 5 Posts

    Default Re: Top 10 Signs You Are RIL?

    10. You spend more on her drinks than you do on your own

    9. You buy out the rose-lady, just for your girl, every night you visit the club

    8. You have more than three autographed glossies of your girl

    7. You were the sole reason why the porn shop sold out of every magazine/movie/etc your girl has ever appeared in

    6. You have deliberately and knowledgeably paid her entire rent, mortgage, car payment, loan payment, or bail

    5. You spend more on her in gifts each month than you do for your entire family at Christmas

    4. You've ever stolen her personal items or portions of her outfits, simply to own something of hers

    3. You've ever proposed marriage to her

    2. You have cease-and-desist or other forms of anti-stalking orders sworn out against you by your girl

    1. Your girl joined the Witness Protection Program in an effort to avoid your amorous attentions

    McCain

  3. #3
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Apr 2003
    Location
    Springfield, Missouri
    Posts
    382
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Top 10 Signs You Are RIL?

    The amount of money changing hands does a pretty good job of keeping fantasy and reality seperate so far. I just want to know what to watch out for.

    The brick wall your about to run into!!!!

    You didn't go to that club lookin for a significant other anymore then she came " TO WORK " thinking .... wow maybe my mister right is gonna come in tonight and sweep me off my feet.

    By all mean's indulge your fantasy within your financial reason and she will alway's be there for you. Going over board on your part will only ruin it for the both of you. If there is any more there then that ....... She will let you know.

    Moderation in all thing's is the true key to happiness

  4. #4
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Apr 2003
    Posts
    1,717
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: Top 10 Signs You Are RIL?

    LMAO @ McCain....

    By those standards, I think I'm safe.

    Except for #8. I don't have any pix yet. I did buy an outfit for the privilage of sitting in on 2 photo shoots of her by the club photographer. And we are supposed to do a photo shoot together in about 3 weeks. (clothed) It will be a fitness type shoot. I'm still cutting up.

    And maybe #6. Twice I think I covered rent, groceries, car payment and other expenses simply from the amounts spent over a 3 week period. I intentionally got the dances. I didn't say: "Here is money for"...
    When the man says, "I do," it is the happiest day of her life.-Al Bundy

  5. #5
    Guest

    Default Re: Top 10 Signs You Are RIL?

    The fact that you only see her twice a week and you don't exchange phone calls or frequent emails is a good sign.

    But variety, especially club variety, is the spice of life for guys with this hobby. Maybe you can take a month off from that club and perhaps visit a club you've never been to, but have always been curious about. You'll find that when you visit a new club, you'll just be another customer, and you aren't labeled as that big spender who only buys laps from dancer XYZ. You'll almost feel like a newbie again.

  6. #6
    Guest

    Default Re: Top 10 Signs You Are RIL?

    The fact that you only see her twice a week
    I meant to say... twice a month

  7. #7
    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2002
    Location
    Key West
    Posts
    16,343
    Thanks
    1,395
    Thanked 5,487 Times in 2,768 Posts

    Default Re: Top 10 Signs You Are RIL?

    Goddammit, I've been in this business for over three years, and am shrewder than most when it comes to people and word games...

    What in hell is an ATF?

    AHA! I just figured it out! Never mind. "All Time Favorite", right? I knew RIL had to be "Regular In Love", having seen enough of those suckers.

    I would think the best way to avoid this situation would be to make it a policy to "regularly" get dances from another dancer as well as your favorite, so long as you tell the favorite beforehand, so as not to start a DRW ("Dressing Room War"). It would be a great way to keep everyone on their toes, though your ATF or whatever might prefer to have AYC ("All Your Cash").

    It will keep you more firmly in Realityland, since she is dancing for many other men, you should be able to enjoy the same opportunity, even if she's still getting paid, and you are still doing the paying.

    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

    ______________________________________

  8. #8
    God/dess
    Joined
    Dec 2002
    Location
    Puerto Rico
    Posts
    3,474
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 7 Times in 7 Posts

    Default Re: Top 10 Signs You Are RIL?

    Having been in that situation just recently all I'll say is that, first of all, thank God I never became a RIL, at least in McCain's book [rotflmao]. What you should do is one of the following: 1) Seek variety. Go to other clubs or seek other dancers in your current club. Your "ATF" will care less, specially if she thinks you're being a bit overbearing and, yeah, maybe obsessive. But if she sees you alone and sits next to you or chat, don't assume she's personally interested in you. She's doing her job. I mean, it's not as if she seemed coldhearted but remember, dancers get paid for their time and dances (duh); 2) Take a break from strip clubbin'. Go about your life and go to regular places, do things that will entertain you other than ogle near naked girls. Think that these girls pretty much have to do this very same thing for sanity's sake, since they have to deal with all sorts of clients on a near daily basis.



  9. #9
    God/dess Lena's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2002
    Location
    On a sweet muddy river.
    Posts
    6,399
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 78 Times in 43 Posts

    Default Re: Top 10 Signs You Are RIL?


    I think the fact that you're aware probably means you're okay.

    If you feel like you need to know all about her life outside the club (ie., real name, how much her bills are, the ages and middle names of her children, etc), that's bad.

    If you regularly think of her as a part of your real everyday life that's bad.

    The feeling I get though is that this woman is obviously a capable entertainer. She knows where the line is and she will let you know when you cross it. If you're that worried about it, just ask her.

    Lena



  10. #10
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Apr 2003
    Posts
    1,717
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: Top 10 Signs You Are RIL?

    Thanks for the advice everyone!

    Confession... we had what I would term a business dinner tonight. It was a bonus for reaching a predetermined spending level.

    Why? As soon as the shift starts, she is dancing within 3 minutes. There is barely time for a: "Hey how are you?" If we finish after a couple hours, I feel like she needs to get on the floor to make more money. If I talk during the dances, she stops dancing. I want to hear what she has to say... at the rate of $1 plus every ten seconds, I want dancing. If I keep her busy the whole shift, we are both too tired for much conversation. And lastly because of the way we do business, I felt I was cheating myself out of the normal one on one time another customer would get.

    After reading posts on this board for the last week, I felt really guilty about the dinner plan and almost canceled. Things went great! It was business as planned. I have no illusions.

    Is it possible to be friends outside the business relationship? This is a slippery slope and I want to stay on the right side of the fence.

    I went to a concert with another dancer and her fiance and then attended their wedding. I was never her customer though. A completely different situation.

    Comments please? Thanks.
    When the man says, "I do," it is the happiest day of her life.-Al Bundy

  11. #11
    Veteran Member OPEN's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2003
    Location
    MA
    Posts
    219
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: Top 10 Signs You Are RIL?

    Well I cant say that I am an expert on this subject myself. Especially since I think I break a few of the "rules". There is no doubt that there is a fine line between keeping it all about the entertainment = money, and getting to know eachother after many visits. Recently I got a call from one of my favs, telling me that she hadnt called me in a while becuase of probs with her phone, and my number was only stored in it. She told me that she was working that night as her last in a little while, ( she had some personal things to attend to is all I will say), So I knew she was only going in to make some money to handle her personal things. So I told her what I was up to that night and that I couldnt come in until a certain time, she said well I can go in then,,,,, So I asked her if she wanted me to come by and take her to dinner instead of going to the club (she wasnt scheduled to work, had just asked to). I told her I would give her whatever I would have if she had been with me for a while but instead of dancing we could talk. Anyway she agreed after first saying she would feel badly if she didnt "earn" it, but we had a great time and I saw nothing wrong with it.
    I think the only time it is a prob, is like someone else said, when u are spending money that should be going to ur family needs or something important. My family comes first and any dancer that gets to know me knows that,,,

  12. #12
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Apr 2003
    Posts
    1,717
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: Top 10 Signs You Are RIL?

    Somehow it all seems a little like Russian Roulette. Or the movie Flatliners. How deep into the fantasy can you go and come out okay?

    Have any of you spent lots of money on one girl and unfairly started expecting more? (No I'm not there. It is something I worry about though) Or crossed the line and ruined an otherwise great business relationship by making requests? I probably should get some dances from others. I'm spoiled and have no desire to at this point.

    Are clean strip clubs the same to sleazy ones as weed to harder drugs? Do "good customers" become jaded to the point they become "Johns?" How often, if ever, do you question your involvement in SCs to the point of thinking retirement? I used to think about retirement all the time. I haven't now for several months. I just plan the next trip. I really enjoy reading and benefiting from others' experiences on this board. The fact that I'm enjoying it makes me ask questions too.


    When the man says, "I do," it is the happiest day of her life.-Al Bundy

  13. #13
    Member
    Joined
    Apr 2003
    Posts
    14
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Top 10 Signs You Are RIL?


    Is it a good or bad sign that both the Housemom and my ATF will bring new girls over to my table to help them break the ice of a first drink or private dance? I even go over the do's and don'ts with them, "do remember names and their likes," and "don't ever leave your drink alone with a customer, even me," for example.

    I've already figured it is a good thing when the bartender gives me 40 singles for my $20 and asks me to "liven up the stage, we're packed but no one is tipping."

    The joys of being a regular customer...

  14. #14
    Featured Member The_Oceans's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2003
    Location
    SoCal, Valley of the Antelopes
    Posts
    1,522
    Thanks
    36
    Thanked 30 Times in 28 Posts

    Default Re: Top 10 Signs You Are RIL?

    (fishnet) Is it possible to be friends outside the business relationship? This is a slippery slope and I want to stay on the right side of the fence.
    I believe it is entirely plausible that dancers and their customers can become friends outside of the dancer/customer dynamic. In the little smalltalk we have with one another, we find that we share things in common, and in those similarities we find ways to become friends. Would it have happened in another setting (classroom, regular nightclub)? Possibly.

    I'm not saying to dancers or customers to buddy up with their regulars/ATFs. I just think that if you play it natural, whatever will be will be.
    "Women, not girls, rule my world" - Prince

    "No parking on the dance floor" - Midnight Star

  15. #15
    Senior Member X's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2003
    Location
    Kalamazoo, MI
    Posts
    129
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Top 10 Signs You Are RIL?

    Is it a good or bad sign that both the Housemom and my ATF will bring new girls over to my table to help them break the ice of a first drink or private dance? I even go over the do's and don'ts with them, "do remember names and their likes," and "don't ever leave your drink alone with a customer, even me," for example.
    I recently had the same experience and was wondering the same thing...bad sign or good sign? my ATF was like "ok you get to break in this new girl's dancing cherry b/c shes really nervous and you're pretty cool...so when you just have two more dances left from me, stop and i'll send her over"

    So , while i was waiting...all these girls came up to me...and i didnt know if it was the new girl or not, so the conversation went like "are you the new girl?" "no." "sorry no thank you."...they must have thought i was some wierdo.

    anyways when the new girl came...she was very sexy..definately my type...but she was so nervous, she didnt even take off her top...and was facing away from me most of the time...(ie: back facing towards me). I tried to give her pointers afterwards but she seemed like she wanted to go rather than listen to me...
    "So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life."

Similar Threads

  1. This RIL needs a proper milking...
    By Stereotypical_stage_name in forum Hustle Hut
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 03-11-2008, 11:50 AM
  2. Top 10 Signs You Have the Perfect Girlfriend
    By All Good Things in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 21
    Last Post: 07-05-2007, 12:00 PM
  3. RIL saying goodbye
    By mark va in forum Customer Conversation
    Replies: 47
    Last Post: 03-23-2007, 07:10 PM
  4. She's good ... (the curse of an RIL)
    By junkieSCJ in forum Customer Conversation
    Replies: 43
    Last Post: 08-04-2004, 04:20 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •