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Thread: Dispatches from Strip Club Hell

  1. #1
    Featured Member Prester_John's Avatar
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    Default Dispatches from Strip Club Hell

    Conversations recently at one of my favorite haunts:

    Stoned-Looking Student-Like kid: “Dude, man, we are looking for some good weed or coke”
    Your Intrepid Hero (Me): “Um okay…. I hope you find some”
    SLSLK: “No man.. we want you to help us, man”
    YIH(M): “What do you mean you want me to help you?”
    SLSLK: “Come on man, you look like you know where to get some”
    YIH(M): “Um.. why do you say that?”
    SLSLK: “Dude man, you got long hair, man. We know you guys know where it’s all at”.
    YIH(M): “Not only do I not know where any weed or coke is, I am vehemently opposed to drugs of all kinds, and I am even more vehemently opposed to such things happening at my favorite strip club, because it’s a sure way to get it fucking closed down”
    SLSLK: “Dude alright alright, don’t get all over us about it” (a short pause.. you know what’s coming) “What’s ‘vehemently’ mean?”


    Later that evening....


    Tipsy Tie-Wearing Guy Next To Me: “Hey man…. These girls rock!”
    Your Intrepid Hero (Me): “Yes.. they certainly do”
    TTWGNTM: “Hey, my friend told me there are two lesbians here”
    YIH(M): “Really? You Don’t Say”
    TTWGNTM: “You have been here before….do ya know who?”
    YIH(M): (After a thoughtful pause) “If I were to guess, I would probably say that it just might be one of the dancers”.
    TTWGNTM: Blank stare, followed by more of the blank stare, finally “Yeah.. that’s what I think”

    I wish I were making this up, but sadly, I’m not.

    PJ


  2. #2
    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dispatches from Strip Club Hell

    Hey Prester_John, those guys were Rhodes scholars compared to what we get in Daytona.

    It's funny with the long hair thing, too. When I had long hair everyone wanted to sell me drugs. Now that I have very short hair, people sometimes think I'm a cop, which is very wierd for me! I have even had people get nervous when it was MY weed we were going to smoke, on occasion.

    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

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  3. #3
    God/dess
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    Default Re: Dispatches from Strip Club Hell

    “If I were to guess, I would probably say that it just might be one of the dancers”.
    ha ha ha ha! That is great. I'm always reeling at the stuff dancers hear, I forgot that you guys hear some pretty funny stuff from your fellow patrons too. I'd love to hear more.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Dispatches from Strip Club Hell

    Dancer friend of mine has a cherub tattoo. heard somone say "tattoo is really cool. What is it? What's a cheub?"

  5. #5
    Featured Member LEIGH_LANDON's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dispatches from Strip Club Hell

    yes more tales from the crypt you guys!
    Its a nice break to hear it from your side....

    and nice to know we all get it from all sides huh? LOL
    LIVE LONG & PROSPER!
    Leigh Landon

    Never explain yourself to anyone, because the person who likes you doesn't need it and the person that dislikes you won't believe it.

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    Veteran Member ChristyWild's Avatar
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    Default Re:Dispatches from Strip Club Hell

    I actually had something like that happen in a yahoo chat. On my bio page on my site, I used to have "I don't do outcall"...I actually had this one guy ask me "Well then, how much for incall?" God, the gaul of some ppl. Though about the ppl who don't know what something means, I sometimes use intelligent conversation to insult them cuz I know they never get it.
    Age is only important when it comes to wine and whiskey!



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    God/dess doc-catfish's Avatar
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    Default Re:Dispatches from Strip Club Hell

    My first night visiting Night Trips in Oklahoma City.

    OU had beaten Texas in football really bad earlier in the day and everyone there was in a festive mood. The place was packed, half the patrons were drunk and I sat in the only seat left at the stage. Two big imposing guys, each apparently on their thirteenth beer of the evening, were in the seats next to me. They turn and look at me and one of them says,

    "Hey buddy, are you a Sooner fan?"

    And not having any particular feelings towards either team, I just played along with it.

    "Like yeah man, was that an ass kicking of what today or what?"

    We must have talked about the game (which I watched very little of at my motel) for like ten minutes, before I began to ignore them and pay attention to the dancers. They seemed to enjoy getting free entertainment when the dancers came to collect my tips. They weren't tipping very much at all.

    I didn't even tell them that I was from out of state, just in town for some R&R. Thankfully, I didn't have anything resembling Texas colors on. The DJ was taking potshots at Texas all night, and I must have had to hear Boomer Sooner (the OU fight song) about four times. Nonetheless, I was glad that I had put my Nebraska helmet air freshener (another OU rival) hanging from my rear view mirror in the glove compartment before I left home.

    Ever since, I've given consideration that when in a rival college town, if I should stop by a Wal-Mart and buy a hat with the team's colors and wear it to the club just to cover my ass. Rivalries and alcohol don't exactly mix.
    Former SCJ now in rehab.

  8. #8
    God/dess Gynger's Avatar
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    Default Re:Dispatches from Strip Club Hell

    Sounds like rednecks in Idaho... LOL.....


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    Featured Member polecat's Avatar
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    Default Re:Dispatches from Strip Club Hell

    What I hate are the total strangers that want to waltz up all buddy-buddy with their LOUD, derrogatory commentary on dancers... grrrrrr.

    That lush that walks over and says to you loudly,
    "Man, that gal has a fat ass and man, she's so out of shape. What the hell is she doing dancing?"

    "I'll bet she sucks a mean d#[email protected] with those lips! We're talkin golf ball through a garden hose!"

    etc.etc. and it's ALWAYS loud enough for the woman on stage to overhear, then look over at YOU as being associated with this buffoon.

    The nude clubs in California don't allow serving of alcohol but sheesh.. I wish they complemented this with mandatory breathalizer tests at the point of entry, and any ninny at twice the legal limit not be allowed entry.
    It doesn't matter if you're somebody in this world, it rather matters you mean the whole world to somebody.

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    Featured Member NikkiD's Avatar
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    Default Re:Dispatches from Strip Club Hell

    come on, PJ, you know you know where to score all the good stuff, you have long hair... What the hell? What is the relation with long hair and "good weed or coke"? Dumbass!
    Tipsy tie wearing guy is the idiot that we have all seen a million times in our clubs.
    I am so sorry that that happened to you, but it really is humorous, well written and I would love to hear more. Pleeeeeeaaaase!!!


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