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Thread: Dinner with a customer

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    Default Dinner with a customer

    Ladies, Gentlemen,

    Does anyone have any stories about going out to dinner with a customer or a dancer. Is this a wise idea? Would you compensate a dancer for her time outside the club? Ladies, would you actually consider this? And how would you ask for money to go to dinner? I'm actually thinking about going out to dinner with a customer because I like him and he is a perfect gentlemen but I am afraid I am just asking for trouble.


  2. #2
    Pamela
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    Default Re: Dinner with a customer

    I would never compensate a dancer for her time out side of work. This is pleasure not work. And as far as going to dinner or anyplace with a customer. no. i have not done so, and would not. i don't ever take my work outside the club. Thats is just me, i know some do, and all works fine for them (some). Pamela

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    Veteran Member Theresa's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dinner with a customer

    I have once let a customer take me out to dinner, but only because he was a good customer and he was about to move to Chicago. Anyway, I think it was a bad idea b/c I feel that he thought I liked him as more than a customer. Like, he said "I wish I would have met you sooner" and "I don't mind that you are a stripper." To me, just the way he said those things implied that I wanted a relationship with him or something, which was so NOT the case.

    THEN, a few nights before he moved: Him and his one friend were in my club, his friend drove but got so drunk he couldn't drive home at the end of the night. So his friend called a cab, but my customer wanted me to drive just him home, at 4am after I had just danced for him. Uh, I don't think so!! I didn't directly say so, I was just like, "well, if the club sees you leave with me I could get busted for prostitution." He then replied that he would meet me down the road. Uh, no. I didn't say anything else, I just went up stairs to get dressed and to clean out my locker b/c that was my last night at that club. So, my customer called my celly FIVE times b/c he really thought I was coming to pick him up. He didn't take the cab ride with his friend, so I have no idea how he got home. He has since called me a few times from Chicago but I haven't returned any of his calls because I feel that our bridge was burned.

    So, what I learned from this is, if you go out to dinner with a customer, it is likely that they will feel you are interested in a relationship, even if in reality you are just
    trying to be nice. It is definitely not worth the hassle, IMHO.

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    Featured Member Chuck149's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dinner with a customer

    I have asked my ATF to have dinner with me on several occasions. She has never agreed to have dinner "out" but she has met me 2 hours before her shift so we could have dinner at the club.
    At first I was a little annoyed when she refused, but after reading this board for a period of time, I am beginning to respect her for her decision not to have dinner out.
    I enjoy and appreciate the time she spends with me before her shift. I have never paid her for this time, but trust me; I show her how much I appreciate the attention with tips and dances during the night.
    I would suggest that unless a dancer wants to get involved with a customer, that she does not have dinner outside of the club as it sends the wrong message.
    "when it comes to staying young, a mind-lift beats a face-lift any day" ~ Marty Bucella

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    Senior Member Jackjrct's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dinner with a customer

    My ATF does call me from time to time to have lunch with me. Being married, it was odd the first time she asked. We have lunch at my place of employement, 5000 plus people here, and she dresses well and no one ever thinks that something could be going on.

    We've been doing this every so often for over two years. We usually talk about things that are going on in our lives and we have a good time. I do not pay her for her time.

    So relationships outside the clubs could work. It depends on the people and a relization that a man and woman could be friends.

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dinner with a customer

    Yes in a few limited circumstances dinner outside the club could work, but I think it generally has to be with a guy you've known in the club for QUITE some time and where you have developed a good releationship and level of trust with each other. Most of the time though, it sends the wrong message to the guy and winds up being a bad idea - usually causing you to, at minimum, lose a good customer because of confusion about boundaries and where things are going.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Default Re: Dinner with a customer

    Does ATF mean all time favorite???



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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dinner with a customer

    Yes it does

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Default Re: Dinner with a customer

    Okidoki Bridgette



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    Veteran Member NYCjacqueline's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dinner with a customer

    Ladies, I'm actually thinking about going out to dinner with a customer because I like him and he is a perfect gentlemen but I am afraid I am just asking for trouble.
    ...Jack has a good point -- you may want to consider having a 'lunch-date' first. Lunch in itself is more casual than having dinner, and it may make you feel more comfortable to see how the customer is in an atmosphere outside the club. Also, if he works during the day, you have limited time, so if it is uncomfortable in any way, you have an excuse to get out of it. As in any date, let a good friend where you are and who you're with. This may be my uptight NYer side coming out, but it never hurts to play it safe.
    "You have no idea what a long-legged gal can do without doing anything." -Claudette Colbert

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    Default Re: Dinner with a customer

    First of all...Lots of people that do business together, break bread together. Usually it's the business entertaining the client but this is one of those role reversals that can work.

    I simply hate to eat alone and find myself out of town or my SO unavailable at times.

    So I've done many a dinner, lunch and even breakfasts after work with ladies that dance. Most did not involve an exchange of money but some did.

    If having dinner with me means you'll be missing work I usually will ask up front if you can afford to take the night off. If not, depending on what an average night is for you, I may offer to compensate you for it.

    So if dinner out is worth the same you would be making at work and you end up spending less time you made out OK so long as your time was enoyable and safe.

    But if you "like" this guy why would you want to ask for money? Seems a little tacky to me. Do it on a night your off. Or suggets lunch or breakfast.

    But to get the point across to him that you WANT money just phrase it as "I would really like to have dinner with you but I can't afford to take the time off". It might lead to what you need anyway.

    I know a lot of guys like me that have no problem with the idea of compensating you for your time. If not I end up sitting in a club, blowing money on overpriced drinks and often eating dinner in a less than enjoyable setting. I've spent farless at times with a lady I've compensated than I would have spent in the club she works.

    But most of the time I'll admit to having a less than honorable motivation for asking. And I have a lot of success in taking it to another level once you agree to meet meoutside the club in exchange for money.

    Sit down first though and consider how you justify it to yourself.

    From experience spanning 28 years and dozens of ladies, I would venture that 90% of the ladies that have accepted money from me for a dinner date have later accepted money from me for other activites as well. You've started putting prices on things you would not have considered before and you don't know what tomorrow might bring.





    I have a difficult time meeting ladies!

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    Default Re: Dinner with a customer

    "If having dinner with me means you'll be missing work I usually will ask up front if you can afford to take the night off. If not, depending on what an average night is for you, I may offer to compensate you for it."

    From my experience dancers do not work every day or night. Usually with 3, 4 even 5 nights they make sufficient money so they CAN afford to take the night off. One would have to ask when she's available or know beforehand what's her schedule. I don't think she'd be willing to miss a work day or night just to accept a dinner invitation, IMHO.

    "But to get the point across to him that you WANT money just phrase it as "I would really like to have dinner with you but I can't afford to take the time off"."

    Sounds like an elaborate "no" answer.

    "But most of the time I'll admit to having a less than honorable motivation for asking. And I have a lot of success in taking it to another level once you agree to meet meoutside the club in exchange for money."

    Geez, this sounds like an escort service. This thread is about dancers dining out with customers in a friendly setting. If a dancer starts negotiating her dinner date then it's preferable to keep her in the club. My only motivation in inviting a dancer is friendship, once you get to know her well enough and feel there's sufficient trust on both sides. Otherwise I'd rather keep doing things by myself.






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    Featured Member aggieed's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dinner with a customer

    How funny...

    ...Carlos, you definitely don't know whispers!

    To each his own...

    ...I'm more prone to lunch with dancers myself although that's very rare for me...maybe since I don't consider it a date (and more like a friendly get together) and the woman pays for her own meal/movie ticket, etc. It IS the 21st century after all, and I love highly independent women.

    Hey, big W...hope FL is treating you right!
    I'm a simple man, making my way through the universe.

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    Senior Member Jackjrct's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dinner with a customer

    Gee, I always pay the bill. But then again, that is what a gentleman does when he is out with a lady.

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    Featured Member aggieed's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dinner with a customer

    You may have missed my point...I don't go out on dates with dancers. In the past, if I meet a dancer outside the club for lunch, dinner or a movie, we meet as friends. If I hang out with my guy friends, I don't exactly pay for their meals unless they plan on paying for one of mine later on down the road.

    I actually had an arrangement like this with a dancer two years ago. We would alternate who would pay for the dinner which made paying for the bill easier...although I could never figure out why, when it was her turn to pay, we would end up at McDonald's. ???

    There are other instances where a dancer will say (probably just to be polite), "You spend so much money on me in the club, I'll pay for dinner." Hell, yeah, my kind of woman! Of course, that's very, very rare in my experience...

    To each his own...
    I'm a simple man, making my way through the universe.

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    Default Re: Dinner with a customer

    ...I'm more prone to lunch with dancers myself although that's very rare for me...maybe since I don't consider it a date (and more like a friendly get together) and the woman pays for her own meal/movie ticket, etc. It IS the 21st century after all, and I love highly independent women.
    Hey, aggieed, I think we have something in common: Bridgette .



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    Featured Member LEIGH_LANDON's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dinner with a customer

    I met a professor at the bar of a club I was featuring at - how we got to talking was in no way me working him for dances but me actually having a drink and throwing in my 2 cents with his banter with the bartender, we quickly found eachother to be incredible company, same sense of dry humor, and even after a few beers his IQ remained stable!
    A friendship formed so quickly, and he was from the old school of how to talk to and treat women, yes even dancers. Excellent manners and no innuendos of a sexual nature at all. To this day he is one of my most favorite peeps in the world and we lunch as often as we can given his schedule at at the University and mine traveling all over hell and back. We trade off in the meal payment dept, and we try to hit every kind of restaurant we can from Indian to Chinese, Japanese, Swiss, etc. it is an adventure! I consider him to be a real and bonafide friend. I also NEVER have danced for him, in fact our friendship by now would never comfortably permit it. We have eachothers REAL phone numbers not cells or pagers or answering services, and I know I can count on him for the legitimate friend that he is to me and vice versa.

    I guess, this doesnt apply to having lunch/dinner with a customer, because although he was a customer at the bar - he was never a customer of mine.

    I myself would never show a customer my privates, and then think a friendship of any value could be established from that point forward. I think thats just plain creepy.
    Just my opinion.
    LIVE LONG & PROSPER!
    Leigh Landon

    Never explain yourself to anyone, because the person who likes you doesn't need it and the person that dislikes you won't believe it.

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    Featured Member aggieed's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dinner with a customer

    Hey, aggieed, I think we have something in common: Bridgette .
    Yes, we do Carlos, but one big difference...I've probably seen the last of B in Austin...and that makes me sad.
    I'm a simple man, making my way through the universe.

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    Default Re: Dinner with a customer

    I myself would never show a customer my privates, and then think a friendship of any value could be established from that point forward. I think thats just plain creepy.
    Just my opinion.
    I share that opinion, too. It's evident that a proper friendship does not and should not develop that way. That, in my opinion, is what makes most dancers reluctant to have dates or get-togheters of any kind with even the most faithful of customers.



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    Default Re: Dinner with a customer

    Uh - You dont understand? WHat need be explained? If a customer showed me his privates I would have his ass tossed out the bar via the security provided by the club. DUH? Dancers are there to do that its the JOB - not customers, uh, again wait uh - what part didnt you understand?
    I have no difficulty obtaining friendships ANYWHERE ANYTIME- denying the possiblity of friendship with a customer as you put it - with regards to blatant nudity - in all reality - are you for real "merely lurking"? I am gonna charge you twenty bux a song to let you see where I pee-- then you are gonna introduce me to your friends and family hell let me meet your kids,"hey! this is the peeler I spend all my spare jack on so---what dya all think?" You are outta your mind merely lurking. I WOULD NEVER have thought I would have to explain this concept....sheesh.

    p/s kudos to Carlos - thank u for GETTING it.
    LIVE LONG & PROSPER!
    Leigh Landon

    Never explain yourself to anyone, because the person who likes you doesn't need it and the person that dislikes you won't believe it.

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    Default Re: Dinner with a customer

    You'r friggin' hilarious, Leigh..... and right on the mark!

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    Default Re: Dinner with a customer

    hahahaha! Thanks Heather, you shouldnt be a guest sign up! But for real is that guy on another planet or what? Yeesh.
    LIVE LONG & PROSPER!
    Leigh Landon

    Never explain yourself to anyone, because the person who likes you doesn't need it and the person that dislikes you won't believe it.

  24. #23
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    Default Re: Dinner with a customer

    Another planet, perhaps in another solar system!
    But for real, could you even IMAGINE one of your male friends just pulling out his cock to show you! I would freaking die! That would be the last time we'd ever meet for a beer! ROFLMAO!

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    God/dess lestat1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dinner with a customer

    I hesitate to write it but . . . what ever happened to "there are no stupid questions; the only stupid thing is not asking"

    Besides, I would think most of the people on the board would welcome the opportunity to clear up another misguided customer and keep him from saying or doing something annoying at a club. Though I can certainly see what a big job that could be and how clearing up all the confused men-folk could get tiring.

    Just my $.02
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    Default Re: Dinner with a customer

    What if the customer showed you his privates too, would that make you feel any better about being his friend? I think you develop friendships wherever you find them, and to deny a possibility of friendship with a customer just because they have seen you naked is a limiting concept. Would it seem like they were holding a secret over your head or something, I don't really understand?
    I don't know what to say of this. Like the 1001 nights, there are 1001 kinds of friendships. It's just that it should not be based solely on whether you've seen each other in the buff. Naturists (those folks who roam around nude on beaches, parks or nudist camps) see each other naked ALL THE TIME yet, believe it or not, that is not necessarily what binds them. They have other common interests and of course the trust factor is omnipresent. Imagine President Bush and Osama Bin Laden being friends just because they've seen each other naked. If being naked around each other is a vital component of a friendship, then so be it. It should not be the only one, though.



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