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Thread: How do you deal with?????

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    Default How do you deal with?????

    "I want you to come out with me" or "be my girl" I don't know why, but... every night I get guys saying this to me and most of them are SERIOUS!!! :o... One guy even went back to his hotel room and got changed, another came back the next night.
    I am not sure how to handle this?? I tell them no, "I can't"..."I better not" ... "not allowed" etc etc. I even go back to the dressing room and hide for a while,but that ain't making me any money. Should I tell them I'm married (which I am) and risk chasing them away before the dance. I realize that we will get this occasionally...but every night!!!!
    Is this normal?? Does anyone have any tips on how to get out of these predicaments without hurting the feelings (of the nice ones ) or pissing off (the weired ones )??? ??? ???

    Oh.. and Vegas girls, be careful of a guy wanting to sit for his dance near the emergency exit, he took off with a girls money purse the other night.

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    Default Re: How do you deal with?????

    Hi Powerpuff,

    I feel your Pain. This is very normal but it's also VERY annoying. I understand how you feel. I've been struggleing with this same issue since I started dancing , for the last 3 years. Some nights I could care less. "Sure, I'll go out with you, yea, yea, whatever they want to here". Other nights I get a little pissy and could scream, "This Is My Job!!!" I guess the bottom line is that you will be getting the "Will you go out with me question along with the what is your REAL name question untill the end of our dancing carreers. Every situation should and has to be handled differently but just so you know I totally understand where your coming from and it drives me and I bet most girls here just as crazy.

    ox Candice

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    Veteran Member Theresa's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you deal with?????

    Grrrrr, i HATE this!!! Getting asked out night after night by these loser guys can make any girl VERY anti-customer. But at the same time we still have to be nice to them to earn a living! Two approaches you could take are, 1) tell the customer that you have a boyfriend but things arent going too well, you guys fight all the time, etc. Ideally, (though this doesnt always work) the customer will try to show you that he can take care of you and spend money on you in the club in hopes that you will eventually get rid of your boyfriend and get with him (which will never happen, but whatever...) or 2) you could tell the customer you are a lesbian, and hopefully they will be intrigued by that and consequently spend money on you. This is believable because a lot of dancers are anyway...
    Well, hope you make lots of $$$

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    Veteran Member Theresa's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you deal with?????

    Just one more thing, for any male GC patrons who read my post above... I didnt mean to imply that guys who go to strip clubs and get dances and chat with us are losers...if it werent for guys like you we wouldn't be able to be dancers BUT, on the other hand, any guy who goes into a strip club looking for a girlfriend OR who assumes just because a girl approaches him and starts a conversation that she wants to go out with him is a BIG LOSER (just my opinion ) (sorry, i am just in a very anti-guy mood today...)

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    Veteran Member Tre's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you deal with?????

    {"Anti-guy mood"?
    Should I put a helmet on before responding? }
    ------------------

    No offence taken here.

    Actually, I'm usually quite animate over this subject, (which I'll omit here due to the fact that it's all been said a hundred times before). Instead, I'll simply say I completely agree with you.

    "The elastic retreat rings the close of play as the last wave uncovers the newfangled way."

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    Default Re: How do you deal with?????

    I normally handle it by either breaking it down to business terms and explaining that it is bad for business - that works well with my more intelligent and well-informed customers. With my more naive or intellectually / sobriety challenged customers, I usually say something to the effect of, "Many times dancers are already viewed negatively - I do not wish to do anything that may further that idea". They generally accept that nicely. Another thing I'll say is that I'm from a place where going out on a date with a customer is considered prostitution (not entirely true, but they don't necessarily know that).

    I don't use the "I have a boyfriend, blah blah" line unless they are being really really dense.

    McCain

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    Default Re: How do you deal with?????

    I'm available outside of the club to work at bachelor parties and that's it - that's what I say. If I didn't do parties, I would say "I don't go out. Period." I have little tolerance for being asked out on the job and believe that I should be honest. I don't really think this is bad for your money in the long run. As soon as a guy figures out he's being led on he's out of there, feeling as though he was taken advantage of, which he was. Better to spend time cultivating customers that know how the business works and will be happy just to see you at work.

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    Default Re: How do you deal with?????

    I completely agree with Colette.

    For customers that know they're just pushing it, I'll just smile and say "really?" They usually get the message. For guy that are serious (you'd be suprised how many are) I simply say "I don't date customers" accompanied by a good hard look. For guys that I really do hit it off with where if we weren't in a strip club it would be reasonable for them to ask me out I'll say something like "well, the best I can do is to give you my schedule and my email address so that you can come see me here and I can let you know if I change clubs."

    Lena



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    Default Re: How do you deal with?????

    Oh, I forgot to mention my favorite response to "What would it take to get you to come home with me?" I always answer "A brand new Thunderbird." That either shuts them up or gets them talking about cars.
    I've known other girls to answer, "A sex change - for you."
    I wonder what the waitresses say, because I know they get asked out and propositioned as much as - if not more than - dancers do.
    Also on this topic, whenever I'm asked questions I don't particularly feel like answering, sometimes I say, "There's so many other, more interesting things to talk about than my life - like you!"

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    Default Re: How do you deal with?????

    two of the most effective are a simple "It's against club policy for dancers to date customers" and, if that doesn't fly, elaborate with "Local vice cops are cracking down on Escorts right now ... even though I'm not an escort if local cops should see us together outside the club ... ". The thought that the customer might find himself explaining stuff to local cops always does the trick.

  11. #11
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    Default Re: How do you deal with?????

    I am married and I am honest with my customers about being married. I wear my wedding ring at work, and if asked if I'm married I always answer honestly. But that is where it ends. I don't talk about my husband or my home life, usually the next question is "Do you have any kids?" which the answer is no. Occasionally this will back fire and I will not get a dance because the guy doesn't like that I'm married, but who knows, that might just be another excuse because he just didn't want a dance anyway.

    Sometimes this works to my advantage, because there is a whole lot of web sites out there dedicated to horny young housewives. This has on a time or two gotten me some well paying customers who love that I'm "honest" and get to check out some other guy's wife naked.

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    Default Re: How do you deal with?????

    i've tried a variety of these pat answers and they tend to work most of the time, but occasionally you get one of those totally clueless cretins that it seems like absolutely NOTHING deters.

    just last night i worked a friend's halloween party and got stuck with what had to be the single most retarded cretin of my entire dancing career. UGH!!! even after explaining that i'm a dancer, not a prostitute, i prefer women, i don't date people i dance for, i'm married, etc., he STILL tried to argue with me about going out with him. finally, after getting the host to "encourage" him it was time for him to leave, he had the nerve to scribble his phone number on a napkin and hand it to me on his way out... so i said "well, thank you! that's exactly what i wanted!"... then blew my nose in the napkin, grabbed his hand, shoved the napkin in it and closed his fingers over it.

    how much you bet after all that, he STILL doesn't get it? he's probably been spending a good part of his day today complaining to his buddies about this bitch stripper that had the collosal nerve to refuse to take him the restroom for a free blowjob! GRRRRRRRR....

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    Default Re: How do you deal with?????

    I cant stand that crap. I usually say, "thats so sweet of you, but I really cant. I am so busy with school and my other job that it will be impossible for me" then I throw in the line of "we can chat through email if you like"
    and I give them a hotmail account I made up just for that.
    It usually works pretty well. By the time they email and I respond, I usually have a really good excuse as to why I will not.
    Just me I guess.

  14. #14
    Pamela
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    Default Re: How do you deal with?????

    Hi powerpuff, i think that it may be wise to say to him that he's a nice guy, and you like him fine. But you can't go out with him beyond the club doors because you will lose your job. Let him know inside the club is where you would like to keep your "working relationship" with him. Let him know you value him as a great person and customer, however you never have and never will date anyone from work. Feed him the "i don't mix business with pleasure," stuff because it makes for an unhappy ending. Been there, and you don't want it to end this way with him stuff....you get the picture. It should be an easy let down, and with hope, keeping him as a customer who is not a pest. Pamela

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    Default Re: How do you deal with?????

    if it's a regular,,and i mean like 2 years regular, i might meet them for breakfast BEFORE work, so at least he knows it's not going to go anywhere,,i always use the fact that i'm a single mom and have absolutely no time for dating....works everytime
    blessed be

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    Default Re: How do you deal with?????

    The ones I'm currently using (and I used last night in actual fact with a guy who got a little infatuated with me) is....

    I love being single however between this job and my other job (I usually say I work in a cafe and that's all I have to say about my fictional second job) I usually don't have alot of free time at the moment.

    If they keep persisting then I also insert that I also do some extra web design work on the internet usually on my days off.

    I then state how that if they wanted to catch up or anything that [club name] is the best place to find me.

    If they want more details I go on about how I'm young and am wanting to set myself up for the rest of my life now rather than later hence the reason why I work the two jobs.

    My "second" job is fictional of course. I've found that not one customer has actually asked which cafe I work at which is great.

    Oh yes.. of course thank them in a sincere fashion for them finding you attractive etc.


    enter: E3167322D9 for your 10% discount

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    Default Re: How do you deal with?????

    Your previous answers e.g. "I'm not allowed, I can't" etc aren't a no and that is the problem. A simple "I never date customers" is sometimes enough, though the boyfriend/ husband /SO is a pretty good thing. Knowing that you have a boyfriend doesn't kill the fantasy but it does give you a reason why you won't be running around town with him.

    Personally I've dated a few strippers but only one I met at her job first- most were out at events or clubs where I ran into someone.

    Just try to be polite without leaving a huge possibility that he has a chance. That is where too many people go wrong in my opinion.

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