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Thread: a question about asking for dances

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    Default a question about asking for dances

    I read on another site some advice that said a dancer should go around the room and ask every single guy in the room for a dance until one buys one. I am afraid if I do this it will look desparate. What do you guys think? I usualy will ask 3/4 and if no one buys I go back to the bar or dressingroom and wait a bit and try again. Also I am working in a club that does all table dances in the main room and noticing that many of the customers will watch dances that are being paid for by other customers then refuse to buy one themselves. This is annoying as hell and seems quite unfair to the guys buying dances. I was thinking of going over and asking the ones watching to cough up a tip- what do you think? One last question-do you think it is ok to ask for tips from the guys who are watching the stage show from the bar but don't get up to tip? This happens alot in the first two hours the club is open ( we are open 6pm- 3 am) and we dancers are up on stage working it for free.....

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    Member Belinda's Avatar
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    Default Re: a question about asking for dances

    [I read on another site some advice that said a dancer should go around the room and ask every single guy in the room for a dance until one buys one. I am afraid if I do this it will look desparate. What do you guys think?]

    It's intrusive, mechanical, pressure-laden and been done to death. It aggravates customers, creates an even more contrived atmosphere of competition between performers and it's tacky. Now lemme tell you how I really feel, LOL.

    I would only do this if you are working in a situation where you'll be fined or somehow penalized by the club if you don't automatically approach every customer with a sales pitch. But you SHOULD try to speak to each customer, either introduce yourself or ask how they're doing, or something very quick and friendly, then move on. Most appreciate it, and it gives some of them something to wonder about when they don't hear "wannadance."

    [I usualy will ask 3/4 and if no one buys I go back to the bar or dressingroom and wait a bit and try again. Also I am working in a club that does all table dances in the main room and noticing that many of the customers will watch dances that are being paid for by other customers then refuse to buy one themselves. This is annoying as hell and seems quite unfair to the guys buying dances. I was thinking of going over and asking the ones watching to cough up a tip- what do you think?]

    Try it, but make it as lighthearted as possible or it'll backfire on you. Main room dances are a bargain-hunting customer's flea market. :-/

    [One last question-do you think it is ok to ask for tips from the guys who are watching the stage show from the bar but don't get up to tip? This happens alot in the first two hours the club is open ( we are open 6pm- 3 am) and we dancers are up on stage working it for free.....]

    I think it's fine for those who are really watching, or even "peeking." But customers sitting with their backs to the stage I would leave alone. They've got their backs turned for a reason.

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: a question about asking for dances

    I don't see anything wrong with asking everyone in the room for a dance. But a better line is "Can I dance for you?" - rather than "wannadance?"

    Asking for tips after stage: Most guys hanging around at the bar in the afternoon or early evening are just there to have a couple drinks and look at some tits. It's annoying that they are there specifically for a free show, but there's not much you can do about it. If you ask for tips, most will think you're some kind of bitch and some will probably complain to the manager, which will cause you trouble. A few may oblige, but it may not be worth it in the end.

    Guys who watch other dances and don't get any themselves: Some are just cheapskates and again, are there for a free show. You won't get far with them. Some may be interested in a dance, but may be looking for more contact than is allowed in your club or what they saw you or other dancers doing. If that is the case, they definitely won't buy.

    I am interested to know what your style for approaching customers is. I find that in most instances, it is necessary to chat at least briefly before popping the question - it makes the guys feel less like an ATM and more like you might like them a little. I also find that a little conversation increases the frequency of repeat dances. I'm not saying sit around for half an hour, but a little friendly chatting and flirting for the length of a song or two goes a very long way. Doing that, I almost never get turned down and the vast majority of my customers get several dances, sometimes keeping me all night long.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Default Re: a question about asking for dances

    Thanks ladies for your replies. One of you asked about my approach. I will usualy walk up and ask how they are doing that evening or if they are having a good time. then I will introduce myself offer my hand and ask their name. Half the time I'll sit and chat for a few minutes other half I'll ask if they would like some entertainment. I am starting to sit less and less because they start talking away and I feel rude interupting them to ask for a dance, many of them will go on several songs and I can feel the tick tock in my head. And if they don't get a dance I just wasted 15 mins. So as you can see I am looking for a faster and more positive result. Any other comments or advice- i have only been dancing for 6 months. BTW I work in a no contact town and at the nicest club. It is topless/ alcohol. I'd say I am in the upper 1/4 of of girls in the looks department. I am doing ok money wise but think I can do better so advice from more experienced dancers is helpful. Thankx.

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: a question about asking for dances

    At 6 months, you're still quite new, and working out your style. That is completely normal, and it seems like you're doing very well. As for the approach, that's ultimately a matter of personal taste and style. The guys who chatter on and on may be a little nervous or excited, and in that case it's up to you to carefully take a lead in the conversation and turn it to dancing. Try not to worry too much about the seconds passing, because that will make you more anxious and the guys will pick up on it. Just let him chat for a couple minutes without much comment - usually he will settle shortly and when there's a lull in the chatter, squeeze his arm or knee and ask "Hey, can I dance for you?" sort of playfully and maybe with a wink.

    There are loads of ways to do it, and I find that the playful flirty route works best for me. It's disarming to guys who are defensive of the usual stripper 'gimme your money' attitude.

    The trick to getting repeat dances is to simply heat up your dance at the end of the song, and for example, just as the song is ending and you're leaning over him with your boobs near his face or your breath on his ear, ask "Shall we do another?" It's hard for them to turn that down.

    Good luck and let us know how you're doing!

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Default Re: a question about asking for dances

    Thanks very much, I will !

  7. #7
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    Default Re: a question about asking for dances

    oh dear... was that me?

    probably not seeing as you don't live in my area. but i've done that frequently... it works wonders in calming down the nervous or excited types too.

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    Member envious4you's Avatar
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    Default Re: a question about asking for dances

    When I first started dancing I would naively sit and talk to guys for long periods of time (half hour to an hour!) and not get any dances. Now, I figure, a guy will definitely know if he wants a dance from you or not in about five minutes that you will spend talking to him. (And if he doesn't, you can always try to convince him-without begging and whining of course).

    Usually I'll go up to a guy and say "Hi. My name is so-and-so. What's your name?" I'll shake their hand and proceed to sit down VERY closely to them. I'll ask them where they'll from, how theyr'e doing, if they've been here before, etc. While talking to them I will smile, make EYE CONTACT, and play with their hair, or put my arm around them. The whole conversation should be breezy (you should present yourself as an easy person to talk to), and most important of all, FLIRTY. Smile at them, make them feel so special they won't want to refuse a dance.

    Then, instead of saying "wanna dance" I will ask them if they're having fun and them casually say "why don't we have a little more fun . . . " and then if they don't say yes right away and look like they're either about to say no or are thinking about it I'll hug them and briefly explain where we do our dances always picking a spot and saying it's the BEST one (even if it isn't really. ALl you have to say it "that's where I like to do my dances. I get so into it over there. It'ss o fun, etc.) Now how can a guy resist that?

    Anyway, I hope that helps. About dancing if spots where other customers are watching I would dance for the guy that I'm dancing for and then, when my back is turned to him, I would sexily look at the guy tgat's blatantly staring and smile or lick your lips. After the dance I would go up to him and say maybe "hey, I jsut had so much fun over there. Didn't it look fun? Why don''t I pleasure you and see how hot YOU can get me?" Should work!

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    Veteran Member ChristyWild's Avatar
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    Default Re:a question about asking for dances

    Yeah, I've been dancing for about 2 yrs, and have found that the best approach, at least in the nude clubs that I normally work in, is to it down with a guy and talk about the basics...Sometimes, I'll get off on a tangent, like one of my favorite recent movies, or something like that. But, after about 6 songs or so have gone by, I usually ask if they'd like to have more fun. If they say no, or maybe later, I ask if they'd like to at least get me a drink while we're talking. If he says no to both, I say, well, just let me know when you're ready to have some fun, and go off to the next person. That usually works and doesn't come across as money hungry.
    Age is only important when it comes to wine and whiskey!



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    Default Re:a question about asking for dances

    All I can say is NO NO NO NO NO! In our classes, we probably spend a good 2 hours teaching why this is NOT the right way to make money and sell dances. This business is about nothing more than sales. You need to know how to communicate and how to be a better persuader, not someone who walks around the room to every single guy and asks, "You wanna dance?... You wanna dance?...You wanna dance?" To a customer, there is little else that is more annoying or less fun than that.

    Think of it this way, let's say you were interested in purchasing a new car. You walk on the lot, not knowing what you were really interested in, but just looking for the moment. Then a salesperson runs right up to you with a big stack of paperwork and says, "Sign here and the car is yours" without you even looking at a car, taking one for a test drive, or even know what you are buying. You'd probably run off the lot. So what do you think you are doing to the patrons of your club when you just walk up to them and say, "Wanna dance?".

    If your club makes it a mandatory rule that you have to do that to every single soul that walks in the door, then find another club. When you learn to sell a dance, or more importantly an hour in the VIP room, then you'll be making money in this business. When you just walk around the room like that though, it's real obvious to the customers what you are doing and it kills the fantasy for about 95% of them and if you happen to actually get a dance, chalk it up to luck. Become a better communicator and your sales will triple.




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  11. #11
    PoleKitten21
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    Default Re:a question about asking for dances

    My only comment is for the guys who are watching you dance as you call it a free show...
    This is a good reason to act as if every show was your last, guys tend to buy dances from girls who they think are extrondinary. Besides if you are going to spend money you want to spend it with the best, (Im a customer so I know this for fact). If a dancer does they same moves over and over or worse looks bored/angry, then why in the depths of hell would a customer want endure that...much less pay for it
    Just A Thought

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    Veteran Member darkness's Avatar
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    Default Re:a question about asking for dances

    forget what everyone on here has posted, the only one who took the words right out of my mouth was "dancer wealth" he probably makes a butt load of money!!!!

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    Default Re:a question about asking for dances

    now what I really hate is when I pick a guy to talk to and i offer my hand and/or ask his name, and I tell him my name, he asks something to the effect of, "no, what's your real name?" I usually find the guy asks this if he is with a group of his friends. I've also noticed that this guy will never buy dances. This is probably just an atempt to piss me off. I usually just say, "Wouldn't you like to know?" with a smirk and walk away. Any advise for this situation? Because at my club I get that a lot.

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    Veteran Member SaraNLA's Avatar
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    Default Re:a question about asking for dances

    Just throw another name out at them. I have a fake 'real' name along with my stage name. But if your dancer name is really unique, it might be good to have a more common name so you won't have to deal with that.
    Or you could just say, "That is my real name."
    Let your indulgence set me free. - Shakespeare

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    Default Re:a question about asking for dances

    Quote Originally Posted by Sara... link=board=9;threadid=4130;start=msg64538#msg64538 date=1074540160
    Just throw another name out at them. I have a fake 'real' name along with my stage name. But if your dancer name is really unique, it might be good to have a more common name so you won't have to deal with that.
    Or you could just say, "That is my real name."
    This idea Sara. What you said is very effective, especially if your stage name is not what most would consider a standard name. In other words, if your stage name is Saphire, use a backup name of "Cindy" or something like that. Here's another idea though that I remember from my years as a magician...

    Whenever I'd perform some trick and someone would ask me, "How did you do that" and persist at it, I had several good comebacks, but one comes to mind that would work well for dancers. If someone badgers you about anything...your real name, your real age, etc, just whisper in their ear "Can you keep a secret?" and of course they'll say "yes", then reply with, "So can I!". It shuts them up, makes them laugh, and they'll get the point. It's a great way to get out of that direction of conversation and also lightens it as well. That comeback works REALLY well.

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    Default Re:a question about asking for dances

    Quote Originally Posted by Zoe83 link=board=9;threadid=4130;start=msg64502#msg64502 date=1074531684
    now what I really hate is when I pick a guy to talk to and i offer my hand and/or ask his name, and I tell him my name, he asks something to the effect of, "no, what's your real name?" I usually find the guy asks this if he is with a group of his friends. I've also noticed that this guy will never buy dances. This is probably just an atempt to piss me off. I usually just say, "Wouldn't you like to know?" with a smirk and walk away. Any advise for this situation? Because at my club I get that a lot.
    Sometimes I'll say "once I walk in those doors, I'm Sierra. That IS my name". Some guys will let it go at that, but what highly amuses me is when they say "like you're mother would really have named you that" because I got the name from my little sister!

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    Senior Member SexxxySierra's Avatar
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    Default Re:a question about asking for dances

    Quote Originally Posted by DancerWealth link=board=9;threadid=4130;start=msg64705#msg64705 date=1074572360
    Quote Originally Posted by Sara... link=board=9;threadid=4130;start=msg64538#msg64538 date=1074540160
    Just If someone badgers you about anything...your real name, your real age, etc, just whisper in their ear "Can you keep a secret?" and of course they'll say "yes", then reply with, "So can I!". It shuts them up, makes them laugh, and they'll get the point. It's a great way to get out of that direction of conversation and also lightens it as well. That comeback works REALLY well.
    That's an excellent idea!

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    Default Re:a question about asking for dances

    thank you DancerWealth! that is a wonderful idea!

    I hate that question. I don't like to give a fake name either. If they think they know my real name (even if they don't), they feel powerful and like they've got something on me. :-/

    I like when guys ask my name on stage, and then say "is that your stage name?" I always reply with, "well, I'm on stage, aren't I?"

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    Default Re:a question about asking for dances

    Quote Originally Posted by DancerWealth link=board=9;threadid=4130;start=msg63866#msg63866 date=1074356759
    You need to know how to communicate and how to be a better persuader, not someone who walks around the room to every single guy and asks, "You wanna dance?... You wanna dance?...You wanna dance?" To a customer, there is little else that is more annoying or less fun than that.
    As a customer, I disagree with that. (Others may agree with you; it's quite possible I'm in the minority.)

    When I go into a club, I look around at all the dancers and decide whom I'd like to get dances from. Usually there'll be several girls who fit the bill, and whichever one approaches me first gets my money. They don't need to say anything other than "wannadance?" Once I say yes, we can engage in small talk before she starts dancing.

    If a girl approaches who isn't someone I wanted to get dances from, no amount of conversation will change my mind. I've made my decision based on looks; so whether she has a good "pickup line" or not makes no difference. In this case, I really prefer "wannadance" to a five-minute conversation for two reasons.

    1. I don't want a dancer I'm interested in to think I'm busy with this girl and avoid coming over.

    2. I feel guilty if a dancer spends a few minutes talking to me when I have no intention of getting a dance from her. It's a waste of her time. A quick "wannadance?" allows her to move on, and I feel better that way. (I once changed the subject early in a conversation and volunteered that I wasn't going to want a dance, but the dancer took it as an insult, like I was trying to shoe her away.)

    Anyway, whether I'm planning to answer yes or no, I really prefer "wannadance?" to any other line. (Again, I may be in the minority.)

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    Default Re:a question about asking for dances

    I've been reading and replying to the site with the hopes to be able to dance and make the most money as I possibly can. I have sold everything from shoes to food and the one thing that I can say for selling is that if you make something sound as though you yourself would buy or like than other people can see your excitement about the product.

    With that said I think that if you encounter a man who talks to much, I would find a nice way to interupt him during a good song and say "Oh my god, this is one of my favorite songs. It is so sexy, would it be okay if I could dance to t for you." Then he knows that you are not only doing something (selling something) for him, but you are doing something that you enjoy. That makes it all the more enjoyable for him, as though you are sharing something with him.

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    Default Re:a question about asking for dances

    Sometimes when I first approach a customer, and ask them for their name..I turn the tables on them. When they answer "Bob" or whatever, I ask "Is that your real name or stage name?".....Always lightens the mood and gets them laughing.

    I NEVER go up and use the "wanna dance" line. I sit and talk for a few minutes...if I dont get a good "vibe" from them, Ill just say "Ok, my break is over, I have to get back to work."
    This usually flatters them, because I used the word BREAK...(they are tickled that i considered being w/ them a break) and they end up asking ME for a dance. Hehe. AND the few times that doesnt work, I will actually leave them..and then come back a little later and ask if they are ready to come dance w/ me yet. By this time they missed my company because I was the only one who didnt ask them for a dance upfront.

    This is how I do it anyway......

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    Default Re:a question about asking for dances

    I don't think there is any One right way to get dances because everyone is different. I will say that the more people you ask the more likely you will eventually get a dance. I think the fear of rejection holds a lot of dancers back and keeps them from making the most money possible. A lot of it is confidence... because I have seen some of the ugliest fattest girls make more money hands down than the pretty shyer girls. The key isn't how long you sit there and talk.... it's how confident you are in persuading them into parting with their money.

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    Default Re:a question about asking for dances

    Quote Originally Posted by abadvi link=board=9;threadid=4130;start=msg83382#msg83382 date=1079043924
    thank you DancerWealth! that is a wonderful idea!

    I hate that question. I don't like to give a fake name either. If they think they know my real name (even if they don't), they feel powerful and like they've got something on me. :-/

    I like when guys ask my name on stage, and then say "is that your stage name?" I always reply with, "well, I'm on stage, aren't I?"
    i hate it when they ask me my real name, too. i just give them a fake name no matter what & make them think its my real name. of course it sux coz when u see them again their like 'oh, that wasn't the same name u told me last week'. lol!

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    Senior Member Brooke Quinn's Avatar
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    Default Re:a question about asking for dances

    Quote Originally Posted by Anna link=board=9;threadid=4130;start=msg49678#msg49678 date=1024432091
    I read on another site some advice that said a dancer should go around the room and ask every single guy in the room for a dance until one buys one. I am afraid if I do this it will look desparate.
    Actually, that was the best piece of advice I was given when I was a new dancer.

    Reasons:

    1 - You get used to hearing "NO" and very soon learn to take it not so personally. "Rejection" is an occupational hazard. The sooner you get used to it, the better you're off.

    2 - You develop a work ethic. You get in the HABIT of working, rather than sitting on your ass.

    3 - IF YOU PAY ATTENTION, you'll soon learn what sort of clientale is most attracted to your image as a dancer. This will lend itself to being a SELECTIVE PREDATOR in the future. You NEVER wanna work every guy on the floor forever.

    4 - You develop your personal style, routine, catch phrases and comebacks VERY QUICKLY.

    5 - You get to know the clubs regulars. Very important even if they don't give you money. They may bring someone in eventually who likes you. Use this opportunity to establish yourself as easy-going and a helluva lot of fun.
    Success is not the result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire. - Mileah Davis

    Try not. Do, or do not. There is no try. - Yoda, Star Wars

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    Default Re:a question about asking for dances

    lots of good advise here! I know I'm kinda shy, so I can see that, but I also feel like a very confident woman. Oh well...I'll try again and hope tonite is way better than last night!

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