Ok, well I really want to be a stripper but I am very, very, very shy and self conscious. How do I get over this? Thanks in advance. Sarah.
Ok, well I really want to be a stripper but I am very, very, very shy and self conscious. How do I get over this? Thanks in advance. Sarah.





You really can't be shy in this business!!!! Even if you are drop dead gorgeous you have to be able make the first move at the clubs....remember guys come there to complete THEIR fantasy (having beautiful women come up to THEM)
When I first started dancing, I had to have 3 drinks before I was ready to go onstage. Now, I'm not going to tell you to become a lush, because no one wants the trashed stripper to puke on them.
After three years, I don't have to be drunk to take my top off. However, I am still known to sit at the bar when I first get in and have a drink. I can usually get my drink paid for by a guy sitting there, then I strike up a conversation with him....and bam! there's my first dance of the night!
britney
Rebecca Avalon
Yeah, I was shy too, and in fact still am. It's hard to explain but it never really impacted my work performance except insofar as I would tend to look at the floor while dancing (both stage and private) and only occasionally look up and smile. So remember to look up and smile, everybody likes a happy girl. Just go in knowing that you're going to do it and then do it. I know that sounds silly, but it's the only way to go. I don't personally recommend drinking because you're just going to have to do it the next night and that is the path to dependency, but a whole ton of girls do and don't become alcoholics so use your own judgement.
Last thing - if it is really too hard for you here are things at least for the stage. For your first shows feel free to leave your bottoms on. Just don't worry about it, if you have to put some clothes back on in between songs so you can take them off again. You'll get used to everything all too quickly.
Don't worry too much about being sexy or about incorporated pole tricks or anything. If you have a good time that's what people are really into.
Finally if it is really that hard, don't do it. In high school I couldn't bring myself to telemarket - just a big conflict with my personality. You can just walk away and find something else.
Jenny
I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth
As an occasional customer, I'm shy myself; and rather reclusive at times.
Not to say I'm not friendly, nor less than courteous; but when an 'overly exuberant' dancer approaches me, I tend to shy away. Whereas, if the dancer is some-what shy herself (or at least presents herself in such a fashion), I myself, am more apt to open up and enjoy her presence.
Usually after the initial 'introductions' so to speak, any shyness disappears.
Find the balance between forward and shy, and you'll do just fine.
Of course, that's just me, and I'm a strange one.
"The elastic retreat rings the close of play as the last wave uncovers the newfangled way."



DONT DRINK!!
I'm sorry to yell but I feel like you need to know that drinking at work is the WORST thing a dancer can do. Please if you don't take anything from my post just remember not to drink at work. Your working. Would you have a couple drinks before going into any other job? No, you wouldn't. I don't usually become so passionate in my posts but I just got in from work and I'm feeling pretty strong about this right now because I just watched a usually shy dancer at work today get trashed and make a complete fool of herself and the club. If you can't do this job sober you shouldn't be dancing. As a dancer you must stay sharp, alert, and on top of your game. Whenever I here anyone tell some one that having a drink or two befor work is ok I just become ill to my stomach! You can only dance for a certain amount of time. Drinking only ages you and depresses you. I use to be a very shy person also until I started dancing. Drinking will NOT help it will only cost you in the amount of money you make and in your brain cells. After several times of going on stage and faking it until you make it the thought of having a drink at work wont even cross your mind. Any dancer that feels it's ok to drink on the job is not someone that will give you good advice on making the maximum amount of money in this business.
I don't apoligize for stepping on anyones toes here. I stand firm on my opinions here and will not debate anyone on it.
As for me, the public is always calling, I work for the state. I'm naturally shy, interverted, I admit. But when I'm at work, I sorta take on another personalliy. Like I'm on the radio, seeing how I'm trying to get into radio. I still use my real name. But my mindset is different.
Think Howard Stern's Private Parts when they try to have him say the Call Letters corrrectlywNnnnBC
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i agree with Candice absolutely. if you have to drink to do this, you shouldn't be doing it. you can get over excessive shyness in a number of ways. try hypnosis or self-confidence booster tapes... the right answer to anything is NOT going to be found in a bottle.
I think everyone is shy or tense when they start. I know I was and it took some time to get over it.
When I started, I would spend a few minutes psyching myself up, kind of getting myself in the zone, before I went on.
Also, a friend of mine used self-confidence tapes and they actually worked.Anyways, good luck!!
Your suggestions are really helpful. I am not much of a drinker so I dont think that will be an issue for me, and now I think I can have the confidence to go and do it. Thanks! Sarah



i think everyone is nervous the first time too. some girls still get a bit nervous for the first set of every shift. for me it wasn't so much shyness, but more nervousness... like what if i fall on my ass or just freeze up? what really worked for me is a standard trick for getting over the insecurities of being the center of attention... picture everyone that's watching you is in their underwear. now, this one worked great for me in public speaking, but for dancing, i had to picture something that made the audience look a lot more ridiculous (since i basically WAS in my underwear for dancing). so i imagined that everyone watching was dressed in bermuda shorts, loud hawiian shirts, big ugly straw hats and with that white junk on their noses to prevent sunburn... man, did they ever look stupid! worked like a charm!![]()
some other things you can do is take some nice deep breaths right before you go on, tap your foot, swing your arms, walk up and down for a few steps... or fiddle with something in your hands, like a piece of your costume or a straw from the bar (when the body is tense from nerves, it needs to move to get rid of built up tention - trying to force yourself to be still when you're tense just causes more tention).
i learned this stuff from one of those self-help tapes for public speakers/entertainers/salespersons... i can't remember what it was called but it should be pretty easy to find something similar. check out the library too... they usually have that kind of stuff and you wouldn't have to buy it (although you'd have to give it back).
if the shyness comes from being naked or topless, practice just hanging out around the house in your underwear... do whatever normal every day things you normally do at home, but without your clothes. just getting accustomed to yourself without your clothes on helps a lot. of course, if you live with your family or roommates, you might have to schedule doing this when nobody is around that would find it odd.
not everybody responds to the same things... you'll have to find whatever works best for you, but it can be done... just don't turn to alcohol or drugs for a quick solution.![]()

G-Real...
This maybe not the place to discuss this, so I will offer you our personal e-mail for this conversation. I have been in radio for 29 years. If you're looking to get into it, I would like to share a few thoughts with you. Also..Howard Stern's bit with W-NNNNN-BC may seem funny, but if you'd like the actual programming understanding behind that phrase, I would be glad to enlighten you. Stern treats EVERYONE who doesn't agree with him as an idiot. Sometimes people are NOT as smart as they think. If you'd like to discuss radio, write me at [email protected]
Rocky



"Stern treats EVERYONE who doesn't agree with him as an idiot."
sooo, you've dealt with him too? heh
(ok, let's not go there).![]()
hi you guys have a great site. i danced at 2 clubs 3 times
and i have the same anxiety problem. now i like to dance
its just confronting the customer thats my problem. please give me some tips on how to get over this. some people tell me that its for some people and for others it isn't. i want to try again but dont know if i should.HELP!
Frankly I don't have much luck with lines like "wanna come watch me touch myself" but it works for some people. For me what works best to ask for a seat next to the prospective customer and start a conversation by saying something nice and TRUE about them. Even something like "you have a nice belt" as long as the belt is nice.
Jenny
I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth





Say what comes natural to you, what you're comfortable saying with that customer. My conversation changes with the customer... with some I'm classy, with some I'm playful, with some I'm a little aloof.
Some people like to visualize... one freind told me that she just see's all customers as big 5 year olds walking around with their dicks in their hands. You can pretend your on a date with them tho, or pretend that you're a waitress, or whatever makes you feel better.
The main thing is just doing it. It might be easier for you if you waited until you danced, then pick someone you had good eye contact with to go sit with.
Lena




I wish I had a perfect answer for you, but I don't. I'll go ahead and admit that, like many here, the first time I got up on stage -- just to try out in an "amateur" night -- it took three tequila shooters just to get me up there! But, after a very little while, I was ok.
Obviously, lap or table dances are going to be the hardest for you, but that's where the money is. Shop around for a club that has a nice, older clientile. Usually, they're the easiest to talk to and most understanding. Be HONEST with them. Smile and simply tell guys that you're trying to get started but you're terrifically shy. Some guys LOVE that in a girl. They'll pay extra just to talk with you for a while and help you get over your shyness. Heck, the more I think about it, maybe I want to play the "shy" game some night soon.....
LOL.... anyway.... keep us posted, ok? I'd love to hear what happens!
The sex was so good, the neighbors needed a cigarette!
http://susanfromseattle.wordpress.com
http://www.ksexradio.com/images/fans/susan_with_hat.jpg




Breathing techniques. Lots of them.
Visualization. Lots of it.
Self-affirmations that YOU ARE THE BOMB! Lots of those, too.
Pep talks. Ask your DJ, bartenders, and bouncers for them if need be. If they have a shred of sweetness, they will - because if you are confident, you make more money, which means they make money in turn.
Get a guy to go shopping wiht you for your outfits. Try them on in front of him and get his HONEST opinion. Only buy the ones that look hot on you. It will help your confidence tremendously if you know you look good.
WHen you get on stage, shut your eyes softly and concentrate on the music for the first few moments - get into the groove and get comfy. The rest you learn.
Smile. First and foremost. Eye contact is extremely important as well, but that can take a while to learn. Took months for me.
When looking for lap dances and such, go for the guys who already tipped you on stage and behaved like gentlemen at the time. If they tipped you, 90% of the time that means there is something about you they find at least a bit attractive. And if they behaved themselves around the stage, they are obviously better mannered than someone who didn't (well, ok, not always, but usually). You'll most likely feel more comfy with guys whom you know like you and will treat you nice.
You, of course, will probably be stir-fried with anxiety your first night or two. I shook so bad I couldn't light my own cigarettes. But that wears off after a few nights, and the nerves wear off within 2-3 weeks. If you still are extremely nervous and uncomfortable at that point, you should probably consider hanging up the g-string and trying something else more suited to you.
This job is not one suited to everybody's temperament.
McCain




Oh, and take heart.
Oustide of work, I am so painfully shy in person that my best friend tells me the difference is like Jekyll & Hyde.
So you aren't alone.
McCain


The only advice I can give is from my years in the theater. I am an extreemly shy person, I usually lock up around strangers and give monsyllable answers until I fell comfortable with someone. I can't sing a single kereoke song in a bar yet used to get up on stage and belt out solos for an audence of hundreds. What always helped me was that I wasn't me on stage, I was a character. If you differentiate who you are outside the club, from the person inside the club, I'm sure it would help a lot. Begin with your stage name and develop a character from there. Also, I have to agree with everyone one ahead of me on the "courage in a bottle," it applies to both performing and tattoos, "If you can't do it without the booze, then you shouldn't do it at all" Hope this helps.![]()
The dumb kid is back!
Maybe it won't help you, but without a doubt I make more if I have a couple of drinks during the night (A COUPLE...not a bottle). I have a lot of social anxiety and a drink or two eases the anxiety so that I can actually do my job and make money. Sometimes I do drink, sometimes I don't but I absolutely do make significantly more money when I do.Originally Posted by Candice
I think it depends on the person, how much they are drinking and how they handle themselves. Sloppy and loud is never a good thing.
I'm shy too but dancing is helping me get over it. What I remember is that 98% of the guys in the club are just regular guys ( many nice ones and interesting ones) and most are happy if we talk to them. Also I make myself comfortable in the club environment because I'm there 3-4 days a week so I'm familar with it. The customers are the ones in the new environment.
When I talk to customers I remember not to be scared of them and when I'm talking to them I focus my attention on what they're saying (makes me less nervous) instead of thinking of myself in terms of wondering if I seem shy or thinking of what to say next. Just listening to the customer will help take away shyness. And if you're listening then you can ask follow up questions about what they said.
Once in a while there might be a long pause in the conversation then I'll ask them if they're sports fans and usually they are. I follow baseball and football a bit so then we have something else we can talk about for a while. If you start following sports then you'll have something else to talk about. I think most guys are happy to talk to another sports fan.
These are the things that helped me, I hope they help you too.
a few drinks to loosen up won't kill you.
the slutty one





It may not kill you.. however it may end up in an addiction... that the dancer canNOT do her job without a shot.. or 10...Originally Posted by slutty
Yes I know it all depends on each person as each person is an individual. Just that having a shot or a drink at the start of the night is okay ONLY IF it is truely under control (as in the dancer can work without it or it is just one shot or one drink at the beginning of the night).
I know that I'm not immune as I find the every so often my self-confidence is underminded (by whatever reason) and having that little bit of help (as I call it) ... does indeed help not hinder.
I refer you to the Drinking At Work thread:
http://www.stripperweb.com/forum/showthread.php?t=32251
enter: E3167322D9 for your 10% discount
I say use your shyness to your advantage. Some customers really like the "innocent" girl next door types. Have confidence in yourself and you will do well.
To cure the shyness...jump on a stage, dance around and be sober while you are doing this. I was one nominated as one of the shyest people in my class in high school...scared to talk to anyone and completely self-concious. After I tried out, and didn't pee myself from being nervous, I was so proud of myself...and they shy side of me was pretty much gone. : )
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