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Thread: Being followed home from work

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    Default Being followed home from work

    I know we had a thread not too long ago about being followed but I can't find it and I learned some info the other night I wanted to share.

    I mentioned last week I was being followed. Well, come to find out last night, 2 other girls have been followed. This is all within the last week. This is what we learned:

    Typically, a perp who is following you will only follow you so far. Like, you might think to yourself "I think this person is following me!" and then they exit or turn and they're no longer behind you. But what they do is wait a few days and then they will wait at that same point and when you drive by they'll start following you again. Maybe this time all the way home. It's very scary because we think there is some creep in the club or watching the club and watching us girls. Crazy fucker.

    I thought that was very interesting and it makes perfect sense so ladies be aware.


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    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Re:Being followed home from work

    There should always be a certain point when you're going home from work where NO one should be following you. If anyone EVER followed me from the freeway to where I should be turning into my neighborhood area, I would just keep on driving. God, I'm glad I don't live by myself.
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

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    Default Re:Being followed home from work

    Sapphire,
    Just as a piece of advice:
    It is common for people to tell you that if you feel you are being followed you should drive to the police station. The problem with that is, unless it is at shift change, there will be basically no one at the police station to help you. They are all out on the road doing their job. A fire station would be much better. There are always people there, awake, and willing to help. Obviously it would be even better to call the police on a cell phone and tell them what is going on.

    Justin’

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    Default Re:Being followed home from work

    I have always told my girl's that if followed and they where sure of it, go to a 24 hour store and stay inside and call the law if needed. The worse case sinerio is that a customer accually find's your home, In that case my rather large door man and I will follow him home at the first opportunity and and explain to him that now that he know's where he should NEVER be seen again. If he make's the mistake of ever being seen in her neighborhood again, we will know exactly where to find him at. Nothing more then a friendly visit also noting plate #'s on any of his car's for future reference. All the girl's also have my cell # in case they need to contact me 24/7 and I can and will set up a meeting place to erradicate the problem.

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    Default Re:Being followed home from work

    eeek! This is literally my biggest concern with regard to dancing. Exactly how common is this?
    "It's better to be looked over, than overlooked".
    "When women go wrong, men go right after them"

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    Veteran Member Miss Courtney's Avatar
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    Default Re:Being followed home from work

    it has happened to me before, Ihad this guy find out where my mum lives, sent me presents there and caught him taking photos of me and my son on the beach. I got a protection order against him and haven't heard from him since. I dont think its too common though Ihave been dancing for 5 years and its only happened to me that once

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    Default Re:Being followed home from work

    I doubt it's any more common then in life in general only more sensitive considering the nature of the business. Then again women in this industry are probably more cautious of it and more apt to notice it then say a Mc Donald's worker or a librarian.

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    Default Re:Being followed home from work

    That is scary.

    The world certainly seems to be getting more and more crazy. Stalking seems to have become more and more prelevant.

    When I first hear something like that the first thing that pops in my head is being paranoid. I always get like that when ever I seem someone follow me for more than a couple of miles. I start thinking they are following me for some reason or another. It is never the case with me.

    However stalking is very serious. There are some sick people out there.

    I don't know where the line between being paranoid and being cautius is, but it is far better to error on the side of caution, that to just blow it off as being paranoid.

    I think being a little bit paranoid is actually a good thing, especially in the world of stalkers. I am not saying that you are being paranoid though. I am just typing what I am thinking.

    I truly hope that you arn't in any danger, but if you are please take the appropiate steps to protect yourself and those around you.

    To borrow a line from Hills Street Blues "You all be careful out there" or something like that.

    Seriously be careful, please be careful.

    The world has become more and more scary and there are a lot of sick people out there that do a lot of disturbing things.

    Please be careful.

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    God/dess Lena's Avatar
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    Default Re:Being followed home from work

    I always make sure that no car follows me for more than one turn, and if someone gets off the freeway right behind me (pretty rare at 4 am in this area) I'll just stop at the gas station and get back on the freeway.

    I don't think it's all that super common. I probably am followed 3 or 4 times a year. I definately had more stalkerish problems when I was a waitress.

    Lena



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    Default Re:Being followed home from work

    yes this does happen occasionally. I try to make it a point to take alternate routes to and from the club so that "partial tails" like Sapphire describes are much harder for any asshole to pull off.

    I also agree with Lena that it's a good idea to make a mental note of all the 24 hour business locations you normally drive past on your way home. If anything weird should develop while driving some home on some night in the future, pulling into one of these 24 hour businesses will offer the best protection.

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    Default Re:Being followed home from work

    oh my good this is scary....

    Lena 3 or 4 times a year!!!! sorry but once a year is even too much!

    This is also something that scares me about this business... i agree redbeard this world is getting more and more f**ked up every day.

    I agree with taking alternative routes but what can you do if you don't have 24hr businesses where you live?

    Anyway thanx sapphire bcos it's true after following you up to a certain point a few days later they might wait at that same point and start following you again.

    Everybody pls be careful and keep safe!

    Seraya.


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    Veteran Member francesca's Avatar
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    Default Re:Being followed home from work

    In my various professions I have had stalkers...both on the web and guys physically following me around and/or a combination thereof. Take note to every detail...time of day you receive a phone call, save every email (it's easy to trace IP addresses) get any suspicious license plate numbers. Take a note of any occassions you may think someone has followed you.

    Record keeping will help you down the road should something really come from a stalking case. Many times, guys will give up after you confront them or after they realize you are onto them.

    But the record keeping is good for the extreme case where the person just does NOT know when to back off. You can never be too paranoid, whether you are in the adult entertainment biz or any other biz where you are dealing with a lot of clients (i.e. retail, teaching, restaurant, etc.).
    * FIND YOUR POWER ANIMAL

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    Default Re:Being followed home from work

    Sapphire, I suggest you and the other dancers get Pepper Spray and learn how to use it- some juristictions offer classes. That's a last resort, so be preemptive in your attitude- if it's the same car get his license number and DOCUMENT the times he follows you and for how far- if you need to get a restraining order a judge will listen more closely if you say "He followed me at 1 AM on the 7th of July for two miles, he followed me on the 9th of July at midnight," etc.- if you can find out what car is his, and who he is if he's hanging in the club (maybe have a bouncer card him, write his name down off his credit card) then you can more easily get a restraining order- if you go before a Judge and say "This crazy bastard followed me" nothing will happen, but if you have his name, type of auto, and documentation of the events a judge will be more sympethetic, if for no other reason than you feel genuinely at risk to gather information on this perp.

    Also most stalkers like that assume they have annonimity, and they operate under the assumption they are in control, so if he finds out you know HIS name, where HE lives, and what HIS car is he'll most likely knock it off.

    Sheeesh, good luck, and BE CAREFUL. There's a whole lot of freaks out there.

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    Default Re:Being followed home from work

    If you get out of work at the same time it's easier for these guys to follow you. You may want to vary your shifts so you don't leave every day at the same time and alternate, like on Wednesdays leave at 4:00 and Thursdays at 5:00 and the other way around the following week. It may be a good idea for the club to have a carpool for the dancers, preferably with a bouncer taking them home.



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    Default Re:Being followed home from work

    Oooh, Carlos, you reminded me of something! Saphire, maybe this is something you could do at your club until the stalker blows over.

    At one club, we would give our keys to the bouncers as we got there and throughout the night they would move our cars to the parking lot of one of the nearby hotels or business parks. At the end of the night one of them would start our cars and stay there with them. The rest of us would wait for the customers to leave, then pile into the other bouncers cars to be taken to our cars. The bouncers would keep an eye on us leaving and sometimes call us on our cell phone to tell us we were being followed, turn around and come back.

    It was a pain in the ass, but it worked.

    Lena



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    Default Re:Being followed home from work

    There are a lot of good suggestions here. The pepper spray is a good idea but like the person said training is very important. I teach pepper spray classes I would be glad to answer questions here. I am about to head out to teach a class but I will check back in here later.

    Justin’

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    Default Re:Being followed home from work

    If considering pepper spray be aware of all local laws governing it. In Mass. for example you have to have an FID card to carry it. Also, do not forget you have it and try to board a plane or you are in deep doodoo to the potential tune of up to $25K.
    I have nothing against it, but it is treated as a weapon in some jurisdictions.

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    Senior Member Hershey's Avatar
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    Default Re:Being followed home from work

    Yeah it can be real scary one someone follows u home. I've had that happened to me 3 times with me on my motorcycle and in my truck. Now with me on the motorcycle, I noticed this driver behind me was following me too close and had on hightbeam light on so I couldn't see the driver on my mirror.

    I had moved down to 1 and 2 lanes to let driver by but he foolowed when I changed and that really freaked me out. So I speed up and passed few cars the driver did the same thing. I said hell with it and startded flying hell on my bike and he was right behidn me!!! Thank god the cop was sitting on the side of the freeway, I explained what had happened I practically had to beg him to follow me til it was safe.

    I hope I dont ever go through that again or otherwise I'd be going over 100 on my bike to leave the driver behind.

    I wouldn't really go to a 24 hours gas station because not many people are around though it's a wel lit place. But u know people do get kidnapped during the day too. I just would rather go to a police station just to be on the safe side if he's really a pyshco.


    Hershey

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    Default Re:Being followed home from work

    Pouring pepper spray on a stalker is to me like seeking an restraining order. The guy will feel challenged and intensify his efforts to get you



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    Default Re:Being followed home from work

    well interestingly enough, I wasn't even on my way home when I was being followed. I was going to a friend's house, taking a totally different freeway and this guy exited one exit before me. haha probably sat there all damn night a few nights later if he was indeed a stalker. One other girl claimed she took evasive action. The other girl flipped a bitch and drove back to work.

    I think all of us know to never drive home if we think someone is following us. But what I never knew was how the stalkers have a sort of 'check point' if you will. Follow you halfway so you don't get freaked out then pick up where they left off a few nights later.

    For me, it's just not possible to have NOBODY behind me on my way home. Particularly on the weekend. Although, somebody behind me on my street would definately cause some alarm.

    I didn't know you needed to take a class to use pepper spray. Why?


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    Default Re:Being followed home from work

    Most dancers I've known who have been dancing for a while seem to have developed a sixth sense for stalkers, even inside the club.

    At some clubs I've been to, one of the bouncers walks the girls to their cars and makes sure they're off safely. That's another reason why a lot of the dancers I know work far from where they live.

    Many years ago at a club I used to go to, a guy was following a dancer friend of mine around inside the club. When her shift was over, she came over to me to tell me what was going on and asked if I would walk her outside to a cab. She was afraid he'd follow her out of the club. She went and changed and met me at the bar. As soon as the guy saw she was leaving with me, he backed off.

    A similar thing happened with another girl. I was going to only walk her to her car. When we got outside, there was a guy waiting for her. She looked at me and said, "It my turn to buy breakfast, you drive." We got in my car and went to the local diner. By the time we went back for her car, the guy was gone. I followed her to the highway just to be sure.

    I would try to find another girl to carpool with or have a guy friend pick you up from work. I don't think a guy would be as bold to follow you home if there was more than one of you.

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    Default Re:Being followed home from work

    Quote Originally Posted by Sapphire link=board=1;threadid=5222;start=msg55754#msg55754 date=1071524684
    I didn't know you needed to take a class to use pepper spray. Why?
    It depends on the juristiction, but pepper spray is considered an offensive weapon, so lots of localities don't want muggers running around with that stuff on them.

    At any rate if you apply for a permit and take the class you'll make friends in all the right places, and if they get a 911 call at your address they'll get there pretty fast.

    "Pouring pepper spray on a stalker is to me like seeking an restraining order. The guy will feel challenged and intensify his efforts to get you"-Carlos

    Obviously you've never been pepper sprayed before Carlos. I guarantee it takes ll the piss and vinegar right out of you, real quick.


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    Default Re:Being followed home from work

    Thanks Airhead. I never thought about making the right friends in all the right places simply by taking a class. hmmmmmm...

    I've tested my pepper spray on a brick wall before. I was amazed at the sheer velocity and forceful trajectory of the spray!


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    Default Re:Being followed home from work

    Quote Originally Posted by Airhead link=board=1;threadid=5222;start=msg55884#msg55884 date=1071542777
    Quote Originally Posted by Sapphire link=board=1;threadid=5222;start=msg55754#msg55754 date=1071524684
    I didn't know you needed to take a class to use pepper spray. Why?
    "Pouring pepper spray on a stalker is to me like seeking an restraining order. The guy will feel challenged and intensify his efforts to get you"-Carlos

    Obviously you've never been pepper sprayed before Carlos. I guarantee it takes ll the piss and vinegar right out of you, real quick.

    Well, I'm not that horny nor desperate to risk getting pepper sprayed, saph



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    Senior Member Hershey's Avatar
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    Default Re:Being followed home from work

    Guys I know how scary it can be when pyschos wants to follow us to our homes. I've heard this story a long long time ago about ladies getting killed and dumpbed by I 45 in houston. And along the way there's no street lights no homes or business in that area and it's all dark.

    I always keep that in mind to look behind my back and see if anyone is following me. There are times cops would sit on the side of the freeway to catch the speeders lol. But if I feel Im in trouble I would pull over and run to the cop lol.


    Hershey

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