Ok, well, since I am getting alot of questions about Astrology, I will post for you an article I wrote for a Mens Magazine. Every issue I explore a sign. Now, granted, I do write for a mens magazine, so the prose is slightly tilted to that end, but I think its amusing none the less. Enjoy....
....Pisces
Feb 19 to Mar 20
Ruling Planet: Neptune, planet of dreams, mystery, the subconscious
Element: the deepest water.
Symbol: The twin fish, swimming aimlessly
Motto: I create my own reality
Hmmm, this is a difficult one. The Pisces man. An enigma. You see, Pisces is a feminine sign, very much so. Men sometimes have difficulty living in this reality. I’m not saying our Pisces man is a pussy, it’s just that, well, Pisces is really emotional, so you can imagine how fucked in the head this guy must be. Men and emotions are like oil and water, except in the water signs, such as Scorpio, where emotion is used as a weapon, or Cancer, where emotion is used as crutch, and Pisces, where emotions are used to disappear. What I mean is, Pisces is not a direct kind of guy. Get in his face about something, and watch him disappear. Not like, abracadabra, disappear; he’s still there, but no ones home. He just slips away to an alternate reality, where everything is peaceful, and green, and some asshole isn’t trying to torment him about why his project isn’t done or whatever. It’s all in the mind, like how some guys drift into sports land when they hear their girlfriend or mother start to nag. See, this disappearing act can be useful. It can also be trouble. Pisces doesn’t do well in conflict or under pressure. They tend to be escapist, and many are stoners or drunk 24-7 so they don’t have to deal with reality. The Pisces guy really, really cares about things. Sad news stories choke him up; road kill brings a tear to his eye. He is an artist and poet at heart. He will listen to sob stories and relate. He was probably a thespian in high school. Guys, if you think this makes the average Pisces man sound like a fruit, hold off on that judgment. Do realize that our fish boy tends to naturally attract females, as they sense in him the soft kindness and understanding that they think they want. He will listen to their problems, he will offer his shoulder to cry on, he will write them a poem. He will charm the panties right off her with his sensitive self, and before you know it, he’s fucking your girlfriend after she came to talk with him about the fight you and her had last night. He is that good. Never underestimate a Pisces. They are the chameleons of the Zodiac. While sweet and sensitive are hallmarks of Pisces, they are shape-shifting little bastards and you never know what you are going to get with one. They are everything to everybody, and they are nothing to nobody. This water runs deep, so don’t fuck with this one. Oh, he won’t stab you in the head like a Scorpio, and he won’t insult you in front of a crowd like a Leo, but he will, somehow, someway, come out on top. Pretty deviously, too. You will never know what hit you. Just let this one be. Sometimes the quiet ones are the most dangerous. Because of his escapist nature, and inability to deal with reality, Pisces is the poster boy for addictions: drugs, gambling, alcohol, whatever, this guy is always trying to dull the pain with a high of some sort. Pisces can fall easily into depression, and many die insane and alone. Girls, if this creeps you out just a little too much, remember, you won’t find a more sensitive, caring, and interesting guy. Good matches for our Fish friend are Simmering Scorpio and Cuddly Cancer. Secondary but still hot matches are true Taurus and manly Capricorn.
The Pisces female is the most lady like and feminine of the Zodiac. She is unusually beautiful, sexy, and oh so erotic. She will whisper sweet nothings in your ear, she will softly stroke your ego, she will make you fall in love, and then….just be careful. There is nothing overtly threatening about a Pisces woman. It’s just that she is so deep. Deeper than you. And you can drown in that deep water. Her mystery, not to mention her fine ass, is what’s so attractive about her. You want to know more, you want to get closer, but it seems like the closer you get, the farther away se becomes. An apparition. An illusion. Before you know it, even the toughest Aries or the cockiest Leo will be punch drunk in love with her…and that’s when that velvet touch becomes an iron fist around your nuts. She isn’t an obvious gold digger like a Libra, but somehow within two weeks of you meeting her, you are buying her a new wardrobe, letting her use your car, giving her gas money, and calling in voluntarily to check in with her. How did this happen? She used her soft beguiling charms, not to mention superb sex, to sweetly lure you into her honey pot. It’s all mind control with this broad, but she does it covert like a love ninja. She will make you think it was your idea to turn your paycheck over to her. She didn’t even have to ask. She just willed it so with her mind. Spooky. In fact, Pisces, ruled by Neptune, is the sign of mystery and the occult, so don’t be surprised to come home one day to find your sweet little fish holding hands with her girlfriends, chanting and casting spells. Don’t say anything, just run. I know it’s hard, especially with her extraordinary pussy skills, but you must break that spell man! To turn the tables on her, snap out of your daze and act like a man. She is very easily seduced by a strong, dominating, manly man. I’m not saying throw her around like a caveman, because that will get you kicked in the nuts, but be a man. Let her know that you are in charge here. She will wet herself and start to be put under your spell. It can be done. In fact, find out her secret turn-on, and pretty soon she will be cooking your meals and doing your laundry, so pay attention: a Pisces sweet spots are her dainty little feet. Softly, erotically, caress and stroke her feet. Suck on her little toes while caressing her calves. Nibble on her neck, (another sweet spot) and she will be powerless to your advances. Another dirty little trick is to climb in bed with our girl and snuggle with her. Kiss that neck while she is asleep, and pay attention to her feet and you will score every time, whether she is in the mood or not. She won’t be able to help it and before you know it, she is spooning her tight little ass against you like an addict looking for a hit.....



Reply With Quote





Thanks for the info.

)
Bookmarks