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Thread: Girlfriend very depressed after BA

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    Default Girlfriend very depressed after BA

    I need some advice for those that have been down this road. My girlfriend is a dancer and got her first BA about three weeks ago. She went from a very nice 34 B to a 34 D. She wanted to remain natural looking and had the implants placed under the muscle and through the armpit. The bruising is almost gone but she does not plan to go back to work for another 3 weeks.

    At first she loved them but as the swelling has gone down she has gotten more and more depressed. In her eyes they are now too small and not worth all the trouble and expense. It's become an obsession and is serious making her unhappy. I think they're plenty large but this is her body, her profession. Not that she ever had problems making money.

    She is an absolutely gordeous young woman with a face many would kill to have. I have tried to make her understand how beautiful she really is but nothing I say right now helps. Every day the swelling goes down the lower she sinks into depression. It's gotten to the point now where she thinks her breasts look almost the same as before. She's wrong, of course, but it'ds her perception that is the problem. Is this feeling normal after BA surgery in many?

    I'd love to hear from those who went through it and maybe something I can say or do for her to make her see how great she really looks. I love this girl so much and just want her to happy. How can I help?

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    Default Re:Girlfriend very depressed after BA

    Depression is common after a BA. I'm not sure why, but it is. I think you are doing fine. Keep telling her how beautiful she is, how big her ta-tas are, and things of the like. Make sure she is just not sitting around the house. Get her outside, take her on walks, take her out, buy her a small revealing shirt so she can show them off. Small revealing shirts make them look bigger too.

    It's common for girls to think they didn't go big enough. I have had 2 BA's because I didn't go big enough the first time. I am now a DD and sometimes want to go bigger, but then there are times when I want to stay the same size. I think she'll get over this soon. Just give her some TLC.

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    Featured Member cash's Avatar
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    Default Re:Girlfriend very depressed after BA

    i think it would have been great if she had before picture so each time she look back at them she would realize that its not that bad afterall...maybe you could take her shopping she could go try on stuff she would'nt wear before maybe a trip to vicky secret ..i dunno ..lets hope that she feels better soon...
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    Default Re:Girlfriend very depressed after BA

    Yes depression is common after a BA. I think it is a combination of after-effects of the drugs and mental stress over such a change in your body. I also think you are probably doing fine, keep telling her how beautiful she looks, how the customers are going to be nuts when she goes back to work, how much you like the new additions, etc. And I agree that a trip to Victoria's Secret is in order! Get her out of the house and show her off!

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    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Default Re:Girlfriend very depressed after BA

    The girl needs psychological help not medical enhancement.

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    Default Re:Girlfriend very depressed after BA

    It's an unfortunate reality that the pre-BA attempts to accurately predict post-BA size almost always err on the small side. In addition to this, lots of plastic surgeons tend to cater to housewives and are very conservative about implant sizes unless the girl specifically tells the doctor she is a dancer and wants as much size as he can safely put in. It's also rumored that many doctors err on the small side in an effort to generate extra surgical fees from second surgeries.

    All I can tell you is to let your girlfriend know that she's not the "lone ranger" in this regard. Like Kobi and myself and 100,000 other girls, we were very dissatisfied with the actual size we achieved after our first BA. If there's any consolation, your girlfriend's doctor WILL give her a huge discount on a second surgery to get her size up to (or beyond) what her doctor originally promised. Also a second surgery is 3 times easier than the original one since the breast pockets have already been created and only need to be enlarged a little, resulting in much less bruising, tissue trauma, and pain. But this is still not worth the second round of pain and expense unless she's looking to go for 200-300 extra cc's. When your girlfriend goes in for her next post-op check, she should make it very clear to the doctor that she's dissatisfied with the size and wants it "fixed" - at a big discount !

  7. #7
    Pamela
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    Default Re:Girlfriend very depressed after BA

    Like the ladies say depression is very common after. It's common after any surgery. This is a passing phase as she starts to feel better again. Mainly people who have cardiac surgery are a high risk for depression after surgery. Normal. Most don't need antidepressents, they heal, rehab and move on to live a healthy life.

    There is an exception to every rule however. Keep a eye on her, and support her while she heals. Surgery is trauma, and this can set off feelings of being depressed for a short time, or can be long term. I can't speak of BA's because i never had one, but it's all surgery, and feeling different for a time. Wondering, pain healing are feelings we go through. Along with the "what ifs."

    Good luck sweetie!

    Pamela

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    Veteran Member livenudegirlsunite's Avatar
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    Default Re:Girlfriend very depressed after BA

    Maybe it's because she can't excersize as much as she is used to. Take her out on walks and maybe a great dinner at a nice restaurant would help. It sounds like she is way to focused on work. There is more to life than selling lap dances and making money.
    Most people prefer to believe their leaders are just and fair even in the face of evidence to the contrary, because once a citizen acknowledges that the government under which they live is lying and corrupt, the citizen has to choose what he or she will do about it. - M Rivero

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    Default Re:Girlfriend very depressed after BA

    My friend who had her boobs done was really depressed afterwards when they were not big enough. The real reason: she thought that her life would be all peachy after she got bigger knockers, and we all know that doesn't happen. ALSO, the doctor made her stop taking anti-depressants before the surgery for some reason and she REALLY needed them after doing all that Xtacy.

    SO...if your girl:
    1. Things that a BA will resolve all her problems
    2. Is depressed and requires med
    3. Did lots of recreational drugs/drinking and is going through withdrawal....

    SHE may have a problem....

    I felt great after I had my nose done personally, only a bit of feeling down because of being trapped in the house for a while. Oh yeah....

    4. CABIN FEVER!

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    Default Re:Girlfriend very depressed after BA

    I so agree with you Katrine! if you've wanted something for very long and you finally get it you have built up this image in your head what it will be like. and then you wake up...and you are still your shitty self and nothing has really changed.
    I used to think my life would be perfect if I just got some extra money on my hands, and then my uncle suddenly died and left me with a semi-big heritage. I went through a weeks depression after hearing about the heritage even tho I hadn't even got the money yet. because I suddenly everything I wanted was there but nothing has changed. I was still me and life was still the exact same.

    Something to add to the story is that I will be getting implants for some of the money. oh the irony!

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    Default Re:Girlfriend very depressed after BA

    I cried for no reason during my whole recovery of like 2 weeks. Your body is just reacting to a change and is normal. Just give her a few more weeks and she will be back to normal and hopefully happy for her new boobs!!

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    Default Re:Girlfriend very depressed after BA

    I know someone who had a breast reduction and lippo and was upset b/c she thought there was no difference. There was a HUGE difference. For some reason it is hard to see one's self objectively after surgery.

    A D is a really nice size. You can't always find cute bras at larger sizes. I went up to a full C a few years ago and went from weighing 130 to 120. Losing weight is a way to make your boobs look bigger if you've had implants....not that I'd mention that to her right now.

    Shopping is definitely the answer - even tight dresses, tops can make her realize that her figure looks beautiful and in proportion.

    Just be patient with her and keep listening - I bet her feelings will change in time.
    Let your indulgence set me free. - Shakespeare

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    Default Re:Girlfriend very depressed after BA

    Depression is really common after many forms of plastic surgery- most of the time it stems from the fact that the change in your body isn't as severe or pleasing as you thought it would be at first. After all the pain you went through, and the money you put into it, and the excitement, and the waiting.. you are put in a position where it is very easy to feel let down!!

    If your girlfriend is very depressed, or if this doesn't ease up, I'd really recommend that she talk to someone else about it. A lot of people get plastic surgery thinking it will change something about their life or person that they don't like, instead of examining the real reason they are dissatisfied. If that's the case with your girlfriend, she wouldn't be satisfied even with a chest as big as Melonie's
    *~* 7 Seven 7 *~*

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    Default Re:Girlfriend very depressed after BA

    Quote Originally Posted by Dreamer link=board=5;threadid=5456;start=msg58800#msg58800 date=1072374669
    The girl needs psychological help not medical enhancement.
    You can speak more objectively about this when you get your man-boobs implanted.
    I went through a period after my BA of feeling gross, ugly, deformed, depressed and it's actually fairly common. However, if it lasts more than a few months, even after her implants have "settled" more, then she might have clinical depression.
    I went from a B to a C and even though my breasts are still small by dancer standards, they look great on me and I'm applying to grad school so I'm worried huge breasts won't let me be taken as seriously. Sad but true. However, i have heard of many women having their boobs redone, especially since they are often quite swollen after the surgery.
    Give her lots of love and tell her she's beautiful. You must care about her deeply if you are concerned enough to ask our advice
    "She has written so well, and marvellously well, that I was completely ashamed of myself as a writer...But this girl, who is to my knowledge very unpleasant and we might even say a high-grade bitch, can write rings around all of us who consider ourselves as writers"

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    Default Re:Girlfriend very depressed after BA

    Thank you all for the great advice you gave her and I. She goes back to work tonight and I think she's ready and really happy now about her BA results. I did get her out of the house as suggested, took her to Maui and Paris in the last few weeks. And it wasn;t hard to tell her she's beautiful - that just comes naturally.

    But I believe what really turned the tide of her acceptance was my insistance on taking before and after pictures. I took befores just a day before the surgery and I waited until the last day in Paris to finally take the after pictures. When I lined them up in Photoshop in a side by side comparison and revealed them to her - she was floored.

    A huge smile spread across here face and she finally saw what I saw - two beautifully enhanced breasts that were symetrical and very natural looking. Once she realized that I wasn't just pulling her chain, she became excited about getting back to work.

    I recommend doing this for anyone having a BA. But it's important not to constantly compare as you're healing. Wait until the bruising and swelling is gone - then surprise yourself with a real perspective. You'll be amazed all over again.

    As for my girl - Have a wonderful first night back at work. I'm sure you;re going to get raves and will knock the customers dead. I'll be waiting to hear how it went - how you felt - and will wait patiently until the next time we're together. You're an incredible girl and I'm glad I got to help you through this. I love you.

    BFinTraining

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    Default Re:Girlfriend very depressed after BA

    I would also suggest she visit http://implantforum.com/index2.html#forum

    This site is filled with women who have had BA's and have been through everything under the sun...they can help her by giving advice and all. It's a great site!! Have her check it out!!

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    Default Re:Girlfriend very depressed after BA

    Quote Originally Posted by VenusGoddess link=board=5;threadid=5456;start=msg65760#msg65760 date=1074877013
    I would also suggest she visit http://implantforum.com/index2.html#forum

    This site is filled with women who have had BA's and have been through everything under the sun...they can help her by giving advice and all. It's a great site!! Have her check it out!!
    I so love this place !! I have learned so much from this thread. I am getting my breast redone in the next couple of months. I was going to get them smaller but,now I am undecided. I totally hated the operation and really am not excited at the thought of having to go through it again. I was totally depressed . I am going to incorporate some of your suggestions into my recovery, when I have my second procedure. I also bookmarked that website.
    Thanks..
    Farrah
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    Default Re:Girlfriend very depressed after BA

    BFinTraining: you must be every heterosexual female dancer's dream come true. I can't even mention my work to my bf.

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    Default Re:Girlfriend very depressed after BA

    Quote Originally Posted by BFinTraining link=board=5;threadid=5456;start=msg65738#msg65738 date=1074872339
    Thank you all for the great advice you gave her and I. She goes back to work tonight and I think she's ready and really happy now about her BA results. I did get her out of the house as suggested, took her to Maui and Paris in the last few weeks. And it wasn;t hard to tell her she's beautiful - that just comes naturally.

    But I believe what really turned the tide of her acceptance was my insistance on taking before and after pictures. I took befores just a day before the surgery and I waited until the last day in Paris to finally take the after pictures. When I lined them up in Photoshop in a side by side comparison and revealed them to her - she was floored.

    A huge smile spread across here face and she finally saw what I saw - two beautifully enhanced breasts that were symetrical and very natural looking. Once she realized that I wasn't just pulling her chain, she became excited about getting back to work.

    I recommend doing this for anyone having a BA. But it's important not to constantly compare as you're healing. Wait until the bruising and swelling is gone - then surprise yourself with a real perspective. You'll be amazed all over again.

    As for my girl - Have a wonderful first night back at work. I'm sure you;re going to get raves and will knock the customers dead. I'll be waiting to hear how it went - how you felt - and will wait patiently until the next time we're together. You're an incredible girl and I'm glad I got to help you through this. I love you.

    BFinTraining
    ng:



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