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Thread: the WHY question

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    Default the WHY question

    On my last visit to a club, one dancer at the club approached me for a dance, when I politely refused ("no thanks"); she was quite persistent in asking why?

    Conversation went like this:
    Her: hi I'm ____, would you like a dance?
    Me: no thanks
    Her: why?
    Me: I'm not interested, thanks though
    Her: why?
    Me: because I'm not interested.
    Her: why?
    Me: because
    Her: rolls her eyes, and leaves with a pissed off look on her face.

    The reason I did not pick her for the dance, while her look would appeal highly to 98% of customers, I find big boobs a turn off, hence not picking her for the dance.

    Should I have told her that reason?
    What kind of information are you looking for when asking why you’re being declined for a dance?

  2. #2
    Veteran Member Santos's Avatar
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    Default Re:the WHY question

    There isn't much you can do in these situations. Unfortunately, a few dancers will not take no for an answer, and in the end, they walk away angry.

    IMO, nothing you say will satisfy her. If you tell her you don't like big boobs, she will probably be upset, if you keep saying no thanks, she will be pissed. You're damned if you do and damned if you don't. Keep giving a firm but polite “no thanks” and when doing so look away and act uninterested, she will get the message. It’s your money, spend it on the dancer that appeals to you.

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re:the WHY question

    That girl was just a moron, and rude. I would NEVER ask a guy why he doesn't want a dance from me. Doesn't matter. If the answer is no, time to move on. "Ok well I've gotta get back to work now, have a good night." DUH

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    God/dess FBR's Avatar
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    Default Re:the WHY question

    Bridgette that is why you do well at your job. You have common sense.

    FBR

    Oh did I mention you were also hot? LOL
    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

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    God/dess Rhiannon's Avatar
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    Default Re:the WHY question

    LOL I have to agree with the other posts. The first thought that came into my mind while reading the conversation that took place between the two of you, was "Umm... Is this girl like 3 years old?" You know that whole stage that toddlers go through with "Why? Why? Why?" ugh.. lol. I don't think that you need to give her a specific explanation on why you didn't want a dance from her. You just saying "No" should have been enough. Normally if a man just says "No" flat-out, that should be a clue to the dancer that she simply isn't his type. You don't have to go into detail unless of course they really persist.. lol.. I had someone in my last club tell me "No" for a dance, but he told me that he loved blondes. So that didn't bother me much, as there are plenty more that love redheads

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    God/dess blondhottie's Avatar
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    Default Re:the WHY question

    Quote Originally Posted by vic0781 link=board=8;threadid=5598;start=msg60548#msg60548 date=1073243696
    On my last visit to a club, one dancer at the club approached me for a dance, when I politely refused ("no thanks"); she was quite persistent in asking why?

    Conversation went like this:
    Her: hi I'm ____, would you like a dance?
    Me: no thanks
    Her: why?
    Me: I'm not interested, thanks though
    Her: why?
    Me: because I'm not interested.
    Her: why?
    Me: because
    Her: rolls her eyes, and leaves with a pissed off look on her face.

    The reason I did not pick her for the dance, while her look would appeal highly to 98% of customers, I find big boobs a turn off, hence not picking her for the dance.

    Should I have told her that reason?
    What kind of information are you looking for when asking why you’re being declined for a dance?
    Wow, that girl sounds annoying. I never ask a guy why he doesn't want a dance from me, I just say something like "Ok, I'm gonna go socialize with the other guys for a while, enjoy the rest of your night."

    I wouldn't have told her the reason you don't want a dance from her, what you said was good. Besides, some of us have naturally big boobs and I'd be pissed if a guy said to me "I don't want a dance from you because I don't like big boobs."






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    Veteran Member Happy_Camper's Avatar
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    Default Re:the WHY question

    Sometimes the persistent Why? can push me over the edge. I am normally a reserved nice guy, but one night I was tired of it and when a girls said, "Why, are my tits not big enough for you?" I responded with, "No, they are fine...Its your ass that is too big!" Granted I was not in my 'regular' club so wasnt worried about repercussions. Why would any girls want to hear a negative comment anyway? Or are they looking for the 'Its not you, its me" answer to make them feel better?
    Quote Originally Posted by Chuck
    Remember HC, "NO" only means "NO" when she says it..... LMAO

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    Featured Member MeganS's Avatar
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    Default Re:the WHY question

    You know, the funny thing is, the whole why thing seems to happen alot. And I'm boggled at the stupidity these girls portray for going that route! I would feel down right ridiculous for asking that! With that kind of stupidity, I say tell them exactly why; maybe if all the guys did that, these girls would get the hint and stop asking! (why, that is)
    "A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to want to take it off you."
    Francoise Sagan

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    Featured Member Prester_John's Avatar
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    Default Re:the WHY question

    I usually just tell a dancer I have a horrible, contagious, flesh-rotting disease, and as a courtesy to her I will decline her offer to get a Lap Dance.

    Doing that just makes me look like a sweet guy.

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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re:the WHY question

    I don't think they are asking why so much to change your mind, but they are more interested in why you rejected them. I agree this is slightly mashochistic and counter-productive, but that is probably not on the forefront of their minds.

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    Default Re:the WHY question

    One of things that I have never understood about 95% of dancers (read: the ones not on this forum. ) is that they just don't seem to understand 'types'. I would love to be able to say, "Sorry, not my type." However, I fear that just isn't going to work.

    Here's what I propose:

    When you first get to the club you walk around with the same scanner with which you pick out wedding registry stuff. Heck knows that the only part of a wedding that the guys like. From then on, only people that you scanned can ask, "Wanna dance?"

    -A


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    Default Re:the WHY question

    I just say that I am not interested in her right now but my mood/desires might change later. Sometimes they come back and I actually accept the offer or they don't come back or I decline politely a second time. Politeness goes a long ways for both the dancers and their customers. We should all recognize that.

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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re:the WHY question

    Quote Originally Posted by tom_pb link=board=8;threadid=5598;start=msg60802#msg60802 date=1073331044
    I just say that I am not interested in her right now but my mood/desires might change later. Sometimes they come back and I actually accept the offer or they don't come back or I decline politely a second time. Politeness goes a long ways for both the dancers and their customers. We should all recognize that.
    But if you really don't want a dance from her, don't do that. I don't care for politeness if you are wasting my time by having me come back later.

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    Default Re:the WHY question

    The dreaded "WHY" question, there was a similar thread on the blue site a while back, lots of good insight:

    http://www.stripclubjunkie.com/forum...ay;threadid=88

  15. #15
    alexislv
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    Default Re:the WHY question

    I also would never ever ask a guy why...that is so lame!! but to get a girl off your back tell her you have no money and then she wont come back...

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    God/dess Rhiannon's Avatar
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    Default Re:the WHY question

    Quote Originally Posted by happy_camper link=board=8;threadid=5598;start=msg60645#msg60645 date=1073268107
    I am normally a reserved nice guy, but one night I was tired of it and when a girls said, "Why, are my tits not big enough for you?" I responded with, "No, they are fine...Its your ass that is too big!"
    LOL I love that. It's sort of like "Do these jeans make me look fat?" "No. It's the fat that makes you look fat!"
    hehe

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    Featured Member FONDL's Avatar
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    Default Re:the WHY question

    Many times the customer may not even know why. Sometimes the timing just isn't right. I once became a regular customer of a girl who I turned down the first time she approached me. And I don't even know why I did, except maybe I wanted to look around for while first.
    Friends Of Naked Dancing Ladies (FONDL)

  18. #18
    Pamela
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    Default Re:the WHY question

    Gee do dancers really even just walk up and ask if a guy wants a dance? I mean that sounds lame enough. She has no skills, or don't give a shit anymore.

    Thats like going to a car lot, and the sales person says you want to buy that car, and you say no. He says why, thats the car for you. WTF



    Pamela

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    Senior Member guywholikesdancers's Avatar
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    Default Re:the WHY question

    I turned down a girl for the first time yesterday. I was out of money. She asked if she could sit down, and I said, "sure, but I'm tapped out." She sat down anyway and chatted for a while. I thought it was very classy.

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    Featured Member FONDL's Avatar
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    Default Re:the WHY question

    I once became a regular of a dancer who I first told "Not now thanks, maybe later." When in a new club I like to sit and observe for awhile before choosing a girl. In this particuclar case about a half hour later I chose her. So the line isn't always a polite waste of time.
    Friends Of Naked Dancing Ladies (FONDL)

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    Senior Member Brel's Avatar
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    Default Re:the WHY question

    One thing you really have to wonder about the "Why?" question is: Is she thinking that if she gets the guy to see the error of his ways, she'll get the dance afterall? I certainly don't remember ever getting a dance from a girl after she questions me, particularly if she does so repeatedly. So the "Why?" question can never lead to anything good happening, IMO.

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    Default Re:the WHY question

    The "why" question is rare one ... usually comes from a girl that thinks she is "all that" and more.

    When I was a dancer in TX we had 2 shifts .. I had kids so I prefered the day shift Noon till 7pm. There weren't a whole lot of girls that were willing to work that shift because of fewer customers early on. Well the competition on the night shift was horendous but not so on the day shift .. so one of the night shift girls decided that on Tursday and Friday she'd work the day shift ... she got turned down by alot of the regulars ... (BTW most dayshift customers were regulars) her techniques were typical night shift hussle and move on to the next "mark". Those just don't work when the place isn't crowded. She would get pissy and ask why almost every single time she was turned down. Didn't take long for the management to pull her to the side and tell her in no uncertain terms change your attitude or leave. She went back to her regular shift after that.

    Moral of the story ... dont think just because you have a great body you'll make more money than so and so... you'll find out that its not allways looks that make the money.

  23. #23
    Featured Member Fawn's Avatar
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    Default Re:the WHY question

    Good thing to blow her off. Asking once was tolerable, but three times is just plain un professional. Maybe you should have told some one who was going to be this much of an airhead.
    " Remember during each test there is some girl in Australia jealous of you who wants to do what you're doing."- Lilithmorrigan

    " If you're young and sexy, why not spend a few years
    Shopping and Fucking? Life is short, but youth is shorter. Ride the wheels off, I say." - FeministStripper

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    Default Re:the WHY question

    Shes asking for someone to hurt her feelings!!

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    Featured Member Chili Palmer's Avatar
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    Default Re:the WHY question

    I go to clubs to be entertained by beautiful women, not bothered by people (male or female).

    I am unfailingly polite to all dancers who a) have the courage to actually take their clothes off for a living and b) ask me for a dance. If I am not interested, I look them in the eye, smile and say, "No, thank you." If I am interested by waiting for another dancer, I'll let her know that. And if I want a dance, I'll make a beeline for the couches with her.

    That said, my least favorite time is when a dancers asks me "Why not?" when I turn down her offer. I'll simply repeat my "No, thanks" again and if she persists, I'll tell her that I'm waiting on (fill in dancer's name here).

    I was once at a topless club many years ago and this one dancer kept zeroing in on me for laps. Musta had a sign over my head or something, but she'd literally walk around the club, ask no one, then head back to me and ask me again and again and again. Literally six times. I finally told her the truth: she had an awful body and worse, had no idea about hair, makeup or accessorizing to maximize what looks she had. Of course, she teared up instantly, I felt like sh*t, got ticked off and left.

    A good rule of thumb to dancers: we know you're there. If you're standing next to a guy and he is trying like mad to pretend you don't exist, then you're probably not going to a dance from him. Don't harsh his mellow by calling him out: no one wins when that occurs.

    CP

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