I have written some before about my customer that turned into a stalker. It is a complex situation that is seeming to never end. For most of 2002 this guy was a regular customer and spent a lot of money on me. I always made it clear I would not have a relationship outside of the club. But we did spend a lot of time together inside the club (my whole shift in VIP four days a week.) I really did care about him as a person and his well being. Towards the end of the year he started getting very depressed and crazy. He would cry a lot and talk about suicide. I recommended he get counseling and he did for awhile. He wanted to start going to my church and I told him I did not mind that and figured it might help him mentally and maybe he would make some friends and find some support outside the strip club.
One day though, he showed up at the swimming complex where I was swimming with my kids and was watching me through the window. I freaked out and told him I did not want to see him anymore and to never come back to where I work. That night he tried to commit suicide.
That was Dec. 31, 2002.
After that, I called him a couple of times while he was in the hospital to see if he was OK, but explained that obviously our relationship was unhealthy for the both of us, that I was not comfortable taking money from someone mentally unstable, and that I did not want any sort of relationship with him, but that I would be polite to him if I saw him at church.
Since then he has tried coming to the club several times, but management won't allow him in. He has sent me several letters, but after a seventy page letter he sent me, I started returning them unopened. he tried sending certified letters, but I refused delivery. I have stopped going to church except for an evening class my husband and I wanted to attend about sexuality. He came to those and would always wear shirts directed at me (Ex- "I am on the brink of insanity and you just pissed me off", "don't worry, not everyone hates you as much as I do". etc.) Finally my minister interceded and told him to leave me alone.
The only reason I did not get a restarining order is because I still felt bad for him and slightly guilty about his suicide attempt. I figured if I got one, he would not be allowed to go to church and I would feel bad about taking that away from him.
I have not heard from him in a few months and I finally thought things were better. But I guess he called work the week before Christmas trying to find out if I would be there. He tried coming in on Christmas Eve, but they would not allow him in even though I wasn't there. But there have been two nights now that he has been seen driving around the block around our building. He drives down the alley behind work where our parking lot is and around the block repeatedly. We have people walk us out to our car, but when we get there, there is no one to walk us in. I don't know if he is trying to scare me or if he really waiting to catch me alone in the alley. So it is a whole year later, and I still think the man is obsessed and crazy.
Should I get a restraing order? Can I get one even if he is not trying to contact me directly? What is the difference between a restaining order and an order of protection? Would it keep him from driving through the alley by my work? How would it affect him if I went back to church? Do they notify him ahead of time that I am filing this and does he have a chance to dispute it? I worry that he would try to hurt me before it gos into effect.
Thanks for reading this long post. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.



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Wow you have an unusual problem. Since I've actually met you and know your club, what you are describing is especially meaningful for me. First of all you are with a good club that does have good security... which is helpful. Alot of times, what women consider stalking is really a guy who is totally in love with them and




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