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Last edited by Miss Chevious; 01-07-2012 at 10:26 AM.
dancing is either really bad or really good, depending on how you treat it. If you are going to school full-time and using the money responsibly, I don't see anything wrong with living on yoru own. Your dad will still hate what you do and it'll surely cause problems between you two, but that is something you have to factor in for yourself.
If it were me, I'd dance, but only if I wasn't pissing away the money.
Life will be harder without your dad's support. If you move out your stripper money won't be fun money anymore. It will be rent, utilities, and car payments. It all depends on how much time you have to work after your school schedule, and how much money you are bringing in. Will you be making enough to support yourself? And are you responsible enough to do it on your own? Think about these things first, and give your dad some time to cool off. He might be more accepting after the initial shock of it wears off. Try to keep on good terms with him, and be professional about your dancing. I'd give it a little time before you make any big decisions.
Good luck





I'd dance and move out. You can get another car easily, even if you don't have credit, there are companies that will finance you, or even better, you can save up cash and buy one with cash. Just make sure you are going to be responsible with your money if this is the route you want to go - and be ready for problems with your dad. Your dad will most likely get over your dancing in time, especially if he's dating a former stripper! But that is something you'll have to decide for yourself - how important is your independence to you right now, and are you ready to deal with it?
Dads can be that way. The father/daughter relationship is pretty unique but sometimes can bring along unrealistic expectations. My daughter is a couple years older than you. If she came home one day and said she was taking up stripping as a vocation, Id probably freak out too. And as everybody knows that reads SCJ, I love strippers.
He'll get over it. You should be able to get by on what you can make dancing. He'll eventually understand that, although you love him, you have to live your own life and make your own decisions. Good luck.
FBR
Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.





I agree with Bridgette. Since your dad is aware of your dancing you can now quit investing a lot of your time at your poor paying "day job" and rechannel that energy into dancing. I subscribe to the theory that exotic dancers are much like professional athletes, with their peak earnings years beginning at age 18 and then declining rapidly past age 30 (with notable exceptions of course). I vote dance your butt off, invest the money you earn wisely, and when you retire from dancing you'll have a nice "nest egg" to finance a college degree or whatever other direction you decide to follow.
Well............
This gal is 18 years old. What is the likelihood that once she moves out, she will go hog wild, drop out of school, gain a freeloader boyfriend, and god forbid, a nasty habit or two......? Ladies, how many mature and professional full time 18 year old strippers do you work with that never do extras, can charm their clientele mentally with consistency, and don't get busted for being drunk in the club? I can think of 1 over the last 7 years that had her stuff together........
I think its important that you keep your other job, stay in school, and try to mend relations with your father. You need balance. At 18, if I stripped full time, I would be a huge mess today. I needed to have educational goals, a boring job to remember that hard work is important, and the support of my family.
Is it possible to mend relations with your dad? Maybe your step-mom can help, since she was a dancer too, and since she blew the lid. Its going to be a lot easier not having to finance a new car and have to pay full rent at 18........
If it means you have to quit stripping, then do it, wait at least 2 years, move out, THEN start again. In my experience, this is best for someone so you, but its just my opinion. If you know yourself to be a really strong and disciplined person, then move out and DO IT!
But....that means that you don't drink underage, don't do any drugs, don't hang out and sleep around with older men, and are always prompt and professional at your day job, and never let your grades suffer no matter what. If your life does not follow the above....then don't move out and deal with being poor for a little longer like most 18 year olds have it...
Good luck!
"Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
"And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion
Originally Posted by Mia M
Lots of responsibility comes with moving out of the house at only 18 years of age. Alot depends on how you intend to make all this work. Now you need a place to live, transportation, and pay your bills along with paying for college. Thats alot on anyones plate.
And a break-up with your father. If you dance and fall, you may have created alot of problems between you and your family. I know you are 18, but family is important too.
Just wish you can patch things up with your dad, and keep your regular job for awhile. Dancing is NOT all it's made up to be.
It would be nice to start off on the right foot, with some support, instead of getting thrown out of your home. It will be hard.
Good luck,
Pamela
i think you should give it a while before you go ahead and move out i mean your dad is just really angry at the moment ...maybe you could try talking to him after he has calmed down a bit ...and if he still wants you to move out then i guess you have to move out ....life is not that bad being on your own just that you gotta start paying those bills by yourself or you could get a roomate ...i dunno what state you live in so therefore i can't tell you anything about the going prices for apartment or your utilities...etc..
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us:
us:
us: devil in disguise....
I agree with alot of what has been said here,,,but the thing that keeps popping into my mind: HIS WIFE WAS A DANCER! Is there some awful past of hers involving dancing that makes him sooo mad about it? (Obviously I don't expect ANY father to like or even accept it...but kicking you out when you just started...that's the worst thing for him to do...to me, that's a nice recipe for the stereotypical stripper syndrome)
Perhaps talk to your stepmother about her experiences privately. It could help you to understand your dad's anger...justified or not.
Again,,,best of luck and think long term.
" If I can't be a good example, then I will just have to be a terrible warning."




Do you have a choice? Is your Dad saying that he wants you out of the house reguardless if you stop stripping or not? If he simply wants you to stop stripping as an ultimatum to staying in the house and keeping your car then I'd say stop stripping. You can always go back to stripping once you are more mature and more settled. Family support is more important than career choice sometimes. Jobs come and go all the time but the respect and support of your family will come in much handier at times. Don't be so anxious to break out of the nest and strike out on your own. Besides that , who will you have to do your laundry?
Your father still views you as his little girl. This is common. However, for you to have a mature relationship with your father (a relationship of equals), you need to break him of this perspective. Living off of him isn't helping that to happen. Moving out on your own will. For your relationship with your father, move out.
As for going to college and stripping, what I suggest is to give college a rest for a couple years. If you go straight from high school into college, you're just extending your adolescence. Go out and live in the real world for a while. College does NOT mature you. It keeps you immature ... as much as living off of one's parents.
This doesn't mean I'm anti-college. Not at all. I have a college degree, I was raised by a professor father and a teacher mother, and all my family has college degrees. However, my professor father encouraged us not to go right into college. No college professor respects students that went straight from high school into college. College professors respect those that went out and lived life for a while before going to college. Living out in the real world matures you and makes you a better student when you later go to college. You're then at college for a purpose other than the next beer party at the frat house. You'll know what interests you since you've lived on your own and thus had to fully think for yourself for a good while.
What I suggest is that IF you like stripping, do it as a way to save up money to go to college. Save and save some more. Figure out what you need to go to college without having to even work a part-time job and make that your goal as a stripper. Then when you go to college, you can both study and party hard. Trying to study and party hard while also working just burns you out ... or results in you having crushing student loans to work off for years to come.
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I think Katrine has nailed it. If you can be responsible then go for it. 18 is still just a baby. I'm only 19 and have changed so many of my ideals and values over the past year, you wont even understand untill one day a year or two from now you look back and realize how irresponsable, crazy, and stupid you were, and look back at all the stupid things you've done. I suggest untill youre mentally ready you stay at home.
" Remember during each test there is some girl in Australia jealous of you who wants to do what you're doing."- Lilithmorrigan
" If you're young and sexy, why not spend a few years Shopping and Fucking? Life is short, but youth is shorter. Ride the wheels off, I say." - FeministStripper
Staying home until you're mentally ready to leave may mean you'll never leave.Growing up has nothing much to do with how long you've lived. I know people who are in their 80's who are more immature than some 18-year-olds I know. What matures you is life experiences and facing up to them. You do not mature by living a sheltered life. Just the opposite.
And as for what a year of living on your own will do as for maturity, that is just the tip of the iceberg. When you turn 30, you'll look back at what you were in your twenties and just groan at your immaturity. Same happens when you turn 40 and look back at what you were like in your 30's ... as I just did this last Christmas Eve.![]()
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18, huh? I stripped full time at 18 too and I wish I had my dad the whole time. I don't think it is wise to forsake your family for a job like stripping. It isn't nearly as much of a cause as it is a danger to you. You will have to deal with double the stress of a normal 18 year old living on your own because it is more difficult to get people to finance strippers. We havce become a group that is stereotyped so negatively that it if weren't for the money which let's face it aint exactly great there would be no further reasons to work in this industry.
It's either your DAd or stripping???? I would opt for a few moew years of innocence and codependence if you are given that option. It's best for your SELF but not necessarily your bank account. You decide which is more important.
The Texas Pin-up Stripteuse!




My perspective is this..... Your dad obviously loves you and wants to be there for you..... quit dancing and be thankful that you have a parent that cares about you. Honestly, I never had a father growing up, so you should respect his wishes before you burn a bridge that may not be able to be mended. Paying bills every month isn't fun. It takes a lot of responsibility and all the "extra" money you are making dancing will go towards bills...bills...and more bills. Not to mention the likelihood that when the reality of all this extra responsibility sets in, you may not have time to pursue college. This buisness isn't an easy one. The money isn't always good and you will probably need to fall back on someone eventually for help. Take it from me, I dance full time, go to school full time, and it isn't easy. The late hours at the club and the early classes wear on you fast!!! I think you should definately trust that your father has your best interest at heart and stay living at home.... get an education... and get a good job. The money doesn't last forever, but a fathers love always does.
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Bamboblue,
That is awsome advice! Miss C please Listen to her she is very right. Wish I could go back in time and start over.
Tranquil Waters
Wow, I'd have never guessed you were 18. You have tremendous poise for someone that age. One thing I've noticed in the life crises I've been involved with is that it usually seems like you have to make a decision RIGHT NOW, but that often is not really the case. With time the right choice becomes clearer. One way to buy time would be to just stop dancing for a while.
MC-
Just wanted to tell you that I have lived with my Mom since my parents divorced when I was 12. My Mom and I have always had a very limited relationship. Not horrendous, but not good by any means.
There were soooo many times that we fought, TOOTH and nail about everything under the sun! We told each other that we hate each other, go die somewhere etc.....there were 1000 times she told me to get out of her house and she would name a date, say like 3 days later that Id need to get my shit out of her house or it would be on the front lawn! But, in all of those years of fighting, not once did she ever thrown anything out on the lawn. I still **big sigh** have to live with her cuz I just cant afford to move out on my own-issues- another story.
Everything is very fiery and jagged right now. Just let a couple days go by, be quiet around him but not nasty, just let the tide come in and go out a few days, it will soften those rough edges...then maybe you can talk to him about it.
Good luck.
I think it depends on your relationship with your father. If it's really good I'd do anything to hang onto it. But if it's not so hot and he's pretty controlling, then maybe you need to get out on your own anyway and put your finances first. I'm a father with a daughter and I agree with FBR - I'd really freak out at first but I'd eventually get over it and love her just as much.
Friends Of Naked Dancing Ladies (FONDL)
Okay, it looks like Dad is having a knee-jerk reaction.What I would do is tell him that you thought it would be okay to strip since his girlfriend did.( lie a little )That will put the blame back on him.A few well placed tears wouldn't hurt.Make nice with your father.You live in his house for now...Play by his rules.He is being a father,sometimes we do or say the wrong thing-because we don't know what to do .



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Last edited by Miss Chevious; 01-07-2012 at 10:25 AM.
Glad to hear things worked out!
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First, I'm very glad to hear that you and your dad have been able to arrive at a truce regarding your dancing. However I'm concerned that you are working 70 hours per week, which is going to burn you out before long if you continue on this course. I'm assuming that 40 of those 70 hours is being spend working a "straight job". I'm also assuming that the income you're receiving from your "straight job" might amount to something like $300 per week after taxes, but that you probably receive some form of medical benefits, unemployment insurance, and disability benefits through this "straight job" ? On the flip side, I'm assuming that you are working the other 30 hours at a dance club, where you receive no benefits but where you are able to earn something like $1000 per week before taxes and about $700 after taxes ? Combining these two incomes results in a figure of about $1000 per week after taxes for 70 hours work, with health insurance included.ive been seriously considering quiting my day job so i can work as much or as little as i like and focus on school when the next quarter starts. any advice on what its like to depend on dancing for your sole income??
On a purely financial basis, your net earnings potential at your "straight job" amounts to perhaps $10 per hour. However, your "straight job" employer is providing benefits to you which would have cash value of say $100 per week if you purchased health and other insurance coverage yourself, which in a sense is worth an extra 100/40 or $2.50 per hour. Therefore your average pay rate at your "straight job" with the cash value of benefits included is $12.50 per hour after taxes. However, when you are dancing, you are typically earning $1000/30 = $33 per hour before taxes and probably something near $25 per hour after taxes.
For the sake of discussion, let's say that you were to quit your "straight job" and instead you were to dedicate 50 hours per week to dancing. Even if it was not possible to maintain a $33 per hour level of earnings because some of those extra hours would occur at times when the club's business wasn't booming, I have to believe that $30 is an achievable average. This would translate into a weekly gross income of 50 * $30 = $1500. If you were to purchase health and other insurance yourself, this would cost somewhere in the ballpark of $100 per week, reducing your gross weekly income to $1400, a figure which probably translates into about $1,000 after taxes, including health insurance .
Basically, I'm trying to point out that if you consider that the "straight job" benefits you receive have a cash replacement value, and if you compare your earnings potential of dancing full time and buying the benefit coverage yourself, you're going to "break even" money wise working 20 less total hours per week than you are now if you quit your "straight job" and dance full time! In reality your dancing income will probably increase further once you start dedicating more hours to dancing, because your regular presence at the club will start to attract "regular customers".
The only real drawback to dancing as your only source of income is of course the variable nature of the business. This is the reason that the first priority for most girls who rely only on dancing income is to build up a cash reserve of savings typically equal to six months worth of living expenses in order to cushion the variability, in order to cover large unforseen expenses etc. However, once you have done this, you'll be equally financially secure as if you continued to work a "straight job" with a guaranteed weekly paycheck.
Once you have your cash reserve cushion saved up, you can then start to build on REAL financial stability - i.e. investments which result in passive income. Here I'm talking about stocks, bonds, CD's etc which create capital gains, interest and dividend income. This is something which you will probably never be able to afford to do if you continue dedicating 40 hours per week to a "straight job" with a mediocre paycheck.
If you're diligent about investing and conservative about spending, ten years down the road you will probably find yourself in the position where your passive income is providing $200-$300 per week in extra money (and will continue to do so forever). Knowing that you will have this kind of regular income coming in at the point where you decide to retire from dancing can make a world of difference in regard to what sort of career you can "afford" to pursue from that point forward.



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Last edited by Miss Chevious; 06-27-2014 at 09:35 PM.
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