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Thread: have any of you felt this way

  1. #26
    Featured Member bambiblue's Avatar
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    Default Re:have any of you felt this way

    I got this way when I was a bartender... which is the reason I became a stripper. I was just physically and emotionally sick of the place!!!! I think taking a break would be a good idea, but sometimes that doesn't always work. Ever think about just dancing at a different club for a week just to get away? Another thing you might want to consider considering..... MAybe you might want to do something else for ahile. For me, I was beginning to change as a person and I just needed to quit altogether. Honestly, what your describing might go beyond needing a vacation. Do some soul searching and Maybe try something else for awhile.... if $$ is the only reason you are continuing to dance, try going down to part time.

  2. #27
    God/dess Lena's Avatar
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    Default Re:have any of you felt this way


    Take a few days off and spend some time on you. Think about your goals and what your dancing for. Who cares if other girls and customers are meaningless if you have your own meaning?

    I've also found that the more satisfied I am in my real life, the happier I am about work (and the more money I make). If I do nothing but work and sleep, I get depressed and hate work. But when I volunteer, go to school, spend time with my freinds and my animals, work is just a little thing.

    Lena



  3. #28
    Featured Member cash's Avatar
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    Default Re:have any of you felt this way

    yes ..i do think you need a mini vacation/break ....i know exactly how yo feel...
    us: us: us: devil in disguise....

  4. #29
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    Default Re:have any of you felt this way

    Oh, honey, have I! I don't know how long you have been dancing, but you have hit your first burn-out. The thought of going to work just makes you cringe, and you begin to make up excuses to not go. While I agree that a vacation would help if you can manage it, it won't last very long. The burn-out will come back, and it may stay around indefinitely. I hit my first burn-out after two years, and it still lingers now, eight years into my start as a dancer. I can't tell you that a two week vacation is going to make it go away. You have to do some things for yourself to cope with your feelings and make you stronger.
    First of all, develop a keen sense of humor. Learn to laugh at them. Don't be afraid to roll your eyes. Most of all, don't be afraid to walk away. No one can tell you that you have to dance for someone rude. These men have low self-esteems, and are often harboring misogynistic attitudes toward women in general. The club is the only place in life where they feel free to express the ugliness in their hearts. You have to force yourself to not take it personally. Show them they are wrong by carrying your head high with dignity and grace.
    Second, find your joy again. Every one of us has at some point enjoyed our job. Maybe you truly love to perform on stage, but the negativity surrounding you has not allowed you to embrace it. Find some new music that gives you what you need. Some nights I play something very meaningful to me that makes me feel empowered and somehow above it all. Find that song and milk it for all it can give you. Music is a powerful ally. Or you could treat yourself to something that makes you feel like such a super-goddess that no one can bring you down.
    Lastly, Do some good. Let me explain that. One of the posts mentioned that a nurse might not feel burn-out because they find their profession rewarding. For the record, I disagree. Nursing has a high level of burn-out due to understaffing, which causes nurses to sometimes give less than personal care to patients, which leaves them feeling guilty and over-whelmed. (I know, I know, this is a site for dancers. Sorry, the nursing student in me came out for a minute.) But I really think any profession gets to you after a while, but not as much as ours. Here is my advice. Every night that you work, find someone you can help. Maybe this means a new dancer that you can adopt and offer to show her the ways. Or, and I may take some heat for this, it may mean finding that one really quiet guy that no one seems to notice, and being nice to him. Now, I am not saying do free dances for him or spend an insane amount of time sitting with him for no tip. But every time you meet one of these guys, you have the chance to make someone's day by giving them a sincere compliment, or just by being friendly. You would be surprised at how good it can make you feel about yourself to make someone else smile. I know, it sounds cheesy as hell, but next time you feel like strangling every customer in the club, look around. Find the guy that doesn't need tits in his face, but would beem from ear to ear if a pretty girl said a few kind words to him. You will probably get a tip anyway, and you will be able to leave at the end of the night knowing that you made some guys day much brighter. Some nights it may be all you leave with, but it can be rewarding. Or maybe I am just a sap.
    I don't know if you would really benefit from professional help. I doubt that many therapists would truly understand the nature of our work and the complexities of what we face every day. That is not to rule it out. You just have to ask yourself if you are depressed, or are you depressed about your jub. That makes all the difference.
    Stand tall and know that you are not alone in this.

  5. #30
    Member sylviatv's Avatar
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    Default Re:have any of you felt this way

    Perhaps dancing is no longer providing you the same satisfaction it used to. I know I'm not an authority since I've been dancong only for almost 3 months, but I have seen in my club' coleagues a kind of transformation from a funny job into a burden.

    Besides all that, I've seen in those girls who push themselves sometimes lead into even more frustration. In my opinion take a break (this job like any other requires some vacation time) and/or seek treatment for depression.

    Get better
    XOXOX

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