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Thread: Dating a dancer

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    Default Dating a dancer

    I don't think I'm what you`d call a strip club regular, but have been going to good local clubs about once a month for the last two years. I recently went to one such club and was instantly attracted to one of the girls. Now, when I say attracted, I mean that "feeling in the pit of your stomach" attracted. Not just "the rise in your trousers" attracted. This is the first time this has happened to me at all since my divorce (2 years ago) let alone in a strip club. We sat and talked for about a 1/2 hour then we went to the VIP room. The "rules" at local clubs are about as liberal as you can get, but I always ask the dancer before doing anything. Lap dances are topless with laps touching laps and hands going basically anywhere except "Nirvana"! Lips and tongues are at the discretion of the dancer. Its always been my understanding that dancers didn`t kiss to avoid certain issues. I am considered an attractive 43 year old man who looks 30-35. I could not help myself with her and tried to kiss her within the first 3 minutes. After that she definitely reciprocated and we were passionately kissing for the next 15 songs. She came on the 13th and I came on the 15th. If I had met this woman outside of the club I wouldn't even hesitate asking her out. Since she's a dancer I'm not sure where her mind is. Neither one of us was drunk and after we finished she told me "I was incredibly sexy. I can count the number of times I've cum while dancing on one hand. Once, right now! I love your body!" Please help me! Am I being naive? Is she just selling or playing me or is this kissing and cumming unusual and she probably has some initial feelings for me too? I never considered asking out a dancer before this, but she is special. She's beautiful, sexy (duh!), smart, and funny. If she's just doing her job she does an unbelievable job.

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    Default Re:Dating a dancer

    By passionately kissing you didn't she keep you there for 15 songs? Enough said in my mind, she's doing her job, enjoy it for what it is. If you feel differently ask her out for crying out loud and find out.

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    Default Re:Dating a dancer

    This is too good to be true. You were either taken for a ride or this is all made up. Like how could one tell if a dancer came on the 13TH song? Were you willing to keep paying for dances till you both came?? I would've realized she was "doing her job" by the third song.



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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re:Dating a dancer

    This type of question comes up a lot in this forum..."does she really have feelings for me or was she just playing me?" You might want to look through those

    It's hard to tell...I mean, we're not her. We cannot speak for her. But there are a couple of tell-tale signs.

    Did she charge you for all the dances and accept payment? Did she ask to see you again (in the club)? I find it strange that she said she came during a dance and has done that before. What did she do with those customers? I can't recall ever hearing about a dancer to admitting to that before, but I know several have faked it with customers.

    Did she initiate any momentum or was it all you?
    In my opinion, if she's really interested in you, she will not want you to give her money and she will make it clear that her intentions are sincere. We know you customers can be confused.

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    Veteran Member Rayleen's Avatar
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    Default Re:Dating a dancer

    She came huh .... ok sorry, back to the question now
    Richard is correct. Odds are very slim it was not acting.
    He is also correct that you should just enjoy it as a form of really great interactive entertainment.

    Happy Lapping to you hon!

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    God/dess RoseDelight's Avatar
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    Default Re:Dating a dancer

    She came those many times? Hrmmmmm. Are you sure you didn't actually just spill some sort of liquid? Just kidding there.

    Did she take your money? Did she give out her number to you? Did she ask for yours? Sounds like she's doing her job to me.


    --Georg Christoph Litchenberg



  7. #7
    Pamela
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    Default Re:Dating a dancer

    I don't think your the only one. Too much experience from her for only a "job."

    She is a hustler, my opinion not a good one, heavy kissing and orgasms..YUK.

    Play safe bud.

    Pamela

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    Newbie tony78201's Avatar
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    Default Re:Dating a dancer

    I hate to say, I think she was doing her job. If she noticed that you liked her "THAT" much, then all she saw were $$$ signs. I learned my lesson many moons ago. Do Not Fall In Love! Now a days if I get a number, I dont get all happy about it. but I have made some very good friends through out the years. try and take her out, to a show, maybe lunch, who knows you might become friends. better that than nothing right??

  9. #9
    Veteran Member Santos's Avatar
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    Default Re:Dating a dancer

    Maybe it’s for real, but probably not. I've gone out with a couple/three dancers I've met in clubs, but usually they always drop enough hints so I know it's for real. To be sure I always ask if it's for business or pleasure.

    Just go in, tell her you're attracted to her and would like to take her out. She can only say no. Despite the conventional wisdom that dancers don’t date customer, there are a certain number that do. Hey, it’s hard to stop cupid. But I do agree that from a dancer perspective, it’s not a good thing to do. Still, when the chemistry is right it’s hard to not to trade digits.

    Just don't get your hopes up; although, you seem like a rational guy, so I'm sure that won't be a problem.

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    Veteran Member SexyBooty's Avatar
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    Default Re:Dating a dancer

    she cammmme hummm. she must reaally enjoyed her timelol
    Most people would rather be certain they're miserable, than risk being happy.

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    Veteran Member SexyBooty's Avatar
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    Default Re:Dating a dancer

    GO BACK THERE IMMEDIATELY AND TAKE HER TO VIP AGAIN!
    Most people would rather be certain they're miserable, than risk being happy.

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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re:Dating a dancer

    yes, dancers do sometimes date customers, but don't linger on this hope.

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    Featured Member sadbuttrue's Avatar
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    Default Re:Dating a dancer

    Quote Originally Posted by windoguy04 link=board=8;threadid=5746;start=msg62206#msg62206 date=1073853624
    She came on the 13th and I came on the 15th.
    Definitely "When Harry met Sally" stuff...lol. :o Go back immediately (and a lot) , but don't get involved!

    >>>Sad<<<
    Blonde jokes are two lines long so that men can understand them.

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    Veteran Member foxee555's Avatar
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    Default Re:Dating a dancer

    I don&#039;t know about the other girls, but I would never tongue-kiss a customer...EVER. Whores don&#039;t even do that. So, maybe the dancer actually does have a real attraction to him.

    That or (I apologize in advance for being mean), she&#039;s a real skank.
    I am lazy and I like to party


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    Featured Member cash's Avatar
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    Default Re:Dating a dancer

    Quote Originally Posted by foxee555 link=board=8;threadid=5746;start=msg62776#msg62776 date=1074038443
    I don&#039;t know about the other girls, but I would never tongue-kiss a customer...EVER. Whores don&#039;t even do that. So, maybe the dancer actually does have a real attraction to him.

    That or (I apologize in advance for being mean), she&#039;s a real skank.
    ITA....be careful who you tongue kiss ...(i wonder how many guys she did that to before you)...hopefully she did not
    us: us: us: devil in disguise....

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    God/dess Malibu's Avatar
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    Default Re:Dating a dancer

    Quote Originally Posted by foxee555 link=board=8;threadid=5746;start=msg62776#msg62776 date=1074038443
    I don&#039;t know about the other girls, but I would never tongue-kiss a customer...EVER. Whores don&#039;t even do that. So, maybe the dancer actually does have a real attraction to him.

    That or (I apologize in advance for being mean), she&#039;s a real skank.
    Ugh! I would NEVER kiss a guy, it doesn&#039;t even cross my mind. I even had a guy ask me once if he could tongue kiss me for a £5! F*cking cheapass!

    Oh, and to reply to the original post, I think your girl IS a skank, because she shouldn&#039;t be doing things like that in the club anyway and it sounds like she was playing you to the max.
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  17. #17
    smooth
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    Default Re:Dating a dancer

    If a dancer really likes you, she&#039;ll invite you over, make you dinner and do you for free... &#039;til that happens, just consider it a business relationship and enjoy.

    Or the other scenario could be...

    She invites you to dinner, she offers to pick up the tab, she takes you home and bangs you for free.

  18. #18
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    Default Re:Dating a dancer

    Ok now, I remember when I was in highschool, before I was sexually active, all the girls used to make out with boys at parties all the time...sometimes more than one a night. nothing else ever happened, and the Bud Light drunk was sufficient enough for me to not care....

    These days, I don&#039;t like kissing at all, even my boyfriend. BUT, you all can have some empathy for this dancer. Obviously she was having a good time, like we do sometimes (oh, no, I admitted it, lapdancing can be fun!). So, she let the situation get out of control temporarily. Not smart, but it happens....

    I had a super cute French patron once, and made out with him a bit, even though he only got a couple of dances because I liked him. Then, when I went to the dressing room and saw smeared lipstick all over my face, I realized that I had lost control of the situation and felt dirty.....but shit happens..... we still keep in touch on occasion through email, but we never went out, but I would have been open to it had the timing not been bad, it ended up pure business. :&#039;(

    The obvious problem with kissing clients is the potential to get sick..but its the same risk as if any of you met someone anywhere and made out with them casually....that&#039;s life.

    Hope you enjoyed her dood, not likely to be a keeper though, IMHO

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    Featured Member polecat's Avatar
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    Default Re:Dating a dancer

    It&#039;s a ploy to gain a regular... just some women are more comfortable than others with this whole charade and thus extend boundries.

    Unless you have women in Home Depot&#039;s, Starbucks, Long John Silver&#039;s, and the grocery stores often times cornering you for a little pucker-session, what makes you think a beautiful stripper who probably see&#039;s 20 guys a day is just going to fall so instantly and dramatically head over heels for you? Yah, sure it can happen... but stick to state lottery for better odds.

    Maybe it&#039;s just a tainted Californian outlook, but about 6 out of 10 dancers at clubs here fall into the tongue/french kissing thing by 2nd or 3rd dance if they think they smell a regular. The lack of importance placed on tip is also a ploy since they are gambling you&#039;re generous as well. It&#039;s a turn-off to me since I feel it insults my intelligence, plus like I really want some other guy&#039;s spit in my mouth from the last session (or other things, but let&#039;s NOT go there...)

    The whole "I came" from a lapdance is equally insulting since if she can let herself go that easily, she&#039;d be driving into work on a Harley and all her spare time would be fidgeting roughly on the barstools. Ask her to bust out the pictures of her stable of wild horses too. Heaven forbid get her out of the club downwind of a good breeze.

    Truth being told, the one&#039;s you really want to find are the more "normal" stand-offish lot... you know, the ones that after your 10th visit, a small peck on the lips goodbye is your max earning. You know this lot actually respects you, doesn&#039;t bother trying to snowjob you and doesn&#039;t have this mental picture that all stripclub guys are losers that have never been with women before. But unless you are a spitting image of Ben Affleck or George Clooney, don&#039;t expect random women to just fall in your arms and start doing the passionate lip-lock.

    If you are into that whole rented fantasy thing- great. Rent it at will, but really be careful you keep reality in check here, not to mention your vitamins and immunizations current. If a gal at a stripclub really likes you, it&#039;s almost unanimously going to be an out-of-club offer where they will prefer to take it, and by her suggestion usually someplace public to talk/get to know you is even better as it&#039;s genuine interest versus a prostitution/sex offer.
    It doesn't matter if you're somebody in this world, it rather matters you mean the whole world to somebody.

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    Default Re:Dating a dancer

    One way you can find out if she&#039;s sincerely into you, is to return and see if she remembers you and actually takes time off the floor to sit and talk. Hold off on asking her out right away. I&#039;ve had my little crushes and thought there might be a "connection." Some girls are just having fun and I have no problem returning a flirt. It&#039;s fun. I&#039;m a regular at one club, and it&#039;s cool when they come over to just say "hi" and tell what&#039;s been going on with them. But yeah, whether or not she charged you is the big question. At the club, just remember where you are; it&#039;s their territory and they&#039;re making a living. But, man, be careful about what you tongue! Good luck.
    Just 2-cents from this girl&#039;s perspective
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    Banned Madcap's Avatar
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    Default Re:Dating a dancer

    "You must learn, Grasshopper."

    I dunno. Frankly it all sounded made-up to me. The 13th song? Are you sure she didn&#039;t cum on the 12th or the 14th??

    That&#039;s a really weird little detail.

    Be that as it may, it still sounds like you got the wool pulled over your eyes (and stapled to your face, evidently, since you didn&#039;t realize this upon waking up the next morning).

    It&#039;s not impossible, but the two Dancers i have dated were both met in Jeans and a T-shirt. One at the mall, one while i was standing there in the supermarket veggie aisle holding half a dozen crappy looking tomatoes and probably looking really confused), and i didn&#039;t know either one was a dancer until they later told me. Both also swore up and down they&#039;d never date a customer. I mean, a guy paying a chick to grind in his lap (or whatever) is not exactly the ideal beginning of a bonafide relationship to a lot of woman&#039;s minds.

    And, guess what? Dancers aren&#039;t shipped in from Mars. Nor are they custom built at some factory somewhere. They are real life females of the species. And they are going to have all the same stuff going on inside their heads as any other woman.

    Sooooooooooo... I&#039;d say that, like any other girl, your best bet at meeting, clicking with, and hooking up with a Dancer will be provided by random fate (and possibly, i suppose, the help of not having the slightest idea how to buy veggies) rather than walking into the place where 500 guys drool at her all night and somehow getting her even though your the 13th, 15th or 200th guy who&#039;s tried much the same thing.

    One of my cardinal rules for women in general is: "Leave them alone when they are at work." I find that it causes much less hassle and confusion (and it keeps me in line at Hooters )


    Oh, and watch who you&#039;re swapping spit with. I got nothing against her, but that&#039;s a good rule all the way around. Not just in Strip Clubs.

  22. #22
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    Default Re:Dating a dancer

    I had several intimate experiences with Dancers. Granted, I&#039;m considered good looking and many say I&#039;m "Sexy" but all Dancers have a hidden agenda......to take your money and keep you coming back for more. I&#039;ve never dated a Dancer and don&#039;t go to clubs for that purpose.

  23. #23
    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re:Dating a dancer

    ROFLMAO...OMG...first, I would have to question your sanity...then I would have to ask you if you&#039;re really serious...then I would question your sanity again. She said that she could count the times she orgasmed during a dance on one hand? So, no more than five...in what, a night? A week? Not to rain on your parade...but, if she did this with you (and made a ton of money off of it) how hard would it be to imagine her doing this with others? And, this is someone you really want to date...knowing that this is her modus operandi? Ewwwwwww...besides, you were so deeply lost with this chick, that you actually counted songs. Wow...that&#039;s impressive...I mean, it&#039;s not like you got 10 songs and she charged you for 15. Things that make you go "hmmmmmm..." You were definitely taken for a ride...however, it&#039;s probably not the kind of ride you would want to take on a daily basis.

    Wake up and take an STD test...but, seeing that you have not responded to anything anyone has said...I would most definitely say you wrote this to get yourself off...and I think that&#039;s even more sad than your original post.

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    Banned Madcap's Avatar
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    Default Re:Dating a dancer

    rofl Venus!

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