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Thread: ever date someone from work??

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    Newbie double oh winter's Avatar
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    Default ever date someone from work??

    Just a question out of curiosity... I personally could NEVER date a custy. Not to say that a few boyz at the club didnt catch my eye..Its just I think when you meet someone under the pretense that you are this little sex pot...to try to take that to the real world is a little bit different.

    FOr 1: They either want you as their trophy stripper girlfriend

    2: They fall head over heals for you and it breaks their heart that you do it,,(they have seen you at work in action)

    3: When you are at work you are in a hustle mentality...if you meet them outside of work ..its hard to differenciate them being someone you hustled ..or really like...



    I find I have lower respect for someone I have danced for ....If that makes sense? I start to put them in that bin as a guy who paid to see me nakid and I could never date a guy who I felt got suckered.



    So write your thoughts on this issue! whOOOoo


    -WIn^

  2. #2
    Pamela
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    Default Re:ever date someone from work??

    Hmm, i never thought of throwing guys in a "desperate" bin it would seem. I also would never date a customer. I don't think most are proud we are strippers anyway. They want a sexual person maybe, and it's what we do. So i think most guys i have talked with expect me to be this way out of the club as well.

    Which i am very sexual, but my heart is still with 1 guy, so i don't sleep around.

    Aside from the "one guy" i would not be flattered to date a stripper. Had my chance, no way, not for me. Too much crap goes on, and i am not the only one he is hitting on, thats for sure. Surely would not think i was the only lady he was seeing either. I have seen a pattern for many many years in the clubs, guys date many strippers at a time (some guys), and strippers DO take many guys at one time for dating, no doubt about that in my experience. (some strippers that is.)

    Hell, it's the atmosphere. And yes, i have heard many times that alot of strippers have a lower respect for a guy who pays for their company.

    Pamela

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    Veteran Member Rayleen's Avatar
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    Default Re:ever date someone from work??

    Several years ago I dated a GM. I learned so much about the business from him And my present relationship is with a man I met in the club, however I knew him for a long time before we dated and nature/fate just took over and I fell in love with him k:

    I don't advocate dating a customer as I have seen lots and lots of problem arise when a dancer dates a customer.
    I pretty much quit dancing when my man and I got together. I just wasn't willing to let other men look at me like that or touch me anymore, and flirting felt so weird- dancing felt wrong after I fell in love.
    He never pressured me to quit and still maintains he could handle me dancing now if I wanted to because he knows its a job and trusts me. But its me that has a problem with it- I'd feel like I was cheating. Its odd too because I never felt this way before in any other relationship. That's how I know he is the one - it may sound strange to some, but it's right for me

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    God/dess lestat1's Avatar
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    Default Re:ever date someone from work??

    Quote Originally Posted by double oh winter link=board=1;threadid=5869;start=msg63551#msg63551 date=1074268693
    I find I have lower respect for someone I have danced for ....If that makes sense? I start to put them in that bin as a guy who paid to see me nakid and I could never date a guy who I felt got suckered.
    -WIn^
    I've read that in various forms on this site a lot; the idea that the customer is a mark, or was suckered into buying dances. Don't y'all think you're worth it? Or is there a different, subtle aspect to the situation I'm not getting?

    -lestat1
    Quote Originally Posted by _Avery_ View Post
    omg, why is it so huge?!! lol lol

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    God/dess Zabrina's Avatar
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    Default Re:ever date someone from work??

    Quote Originally Posted by lestat1 link=board=1;threadid=5869;start=msg63673#msg63673 date=1074288913
    Quote Originally Posted by double oh winter link=board=1;threadid=5869;start=msg63551#msg63551 date=1074268693
    I find I have lower respect for someone I have danced for ....If that makes sense? I start to put them in that bin as a guy who paid to see me nakid and I could never date a guy who I felt got suckered.
    -WIn^

    I've read that in various forms on this site a lot; the idea that the customer is a mark, or was suckered into buying dances. Don't y'all think you're worth it? Or is there a different, subtle aspect to the situation I'm not getting?

    -lestat1
    Oh we know we are worth it, but we want a guy who is worthy of us---namely a guy who does not have to pay for female attention!

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    Veteran Member NVJosh's Avatar
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    Default Re:ever date someone from work??

    Quote Originally Posted by Mariah link=board=1;threadid=5869;start=msg63681#msg63681 date=1074289886

    Oh we know we are worth it, but we want a guy who is worthy of us---namely a guy who does not have to pay for female attention!
    Great quote...however its a sweeping generalization of SC customers. Sure, the PLs fit in that category. And there are also those who go to SCs because they like to relax and look at naked women. Or to watch the game and be able to see naked women during the commercials. Or the ones killing time between business meetings looking at naked women.

    If someone's social life consists only of SCs, he might not be great date material. I just don't think that finding true love in an SC is impossible.

    And what the heck. If its someone you like and trust, why not go out? The worst that can happen is you have a few lousy hours. I guess from the dancer standpoint you have to be prepared to lose that guy as a customer, however if you think the guy has real potential, isn't that worth the risk?

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    God/dess lestat1's Avatar
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    Default Re:ever date someone from work??

    Quote Originally Posted by Mariah link=board=1;threadid=5869;start=msg63681#msg63681 date=1074289886
    Oh we know we are worth it, but we want a guy who is worthy of us---namely a guy who does not have to pay for female attention!
    That makes sense. Do you think it's industry-specific, or a common opinion among most women?
    Quote Originally Posted by _Avery_ View Post
    omg, why is it so huge?!! lol lol

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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re:ever date someone from work??

    I think we have to put guys in bins as dancers, especially if you are heterosexual. There are men we use and men we date. For me to respect some men would mean I would have to find a way to categorize the other men into something less than the others so I could see them for what they are to me -- my income.

    Of course, to reduce them that like that means I can't date them. They are beneath the guys I'd be willing to date.

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    God/dess Lexi's Avatar
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    Default Re:ever date someone from work??

    I doubt I could just because he would know where I work and he would obviously think I am just like all the others. So I doubbbbbt I would be able to handle being thought of as less than I am.

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    Default Re:ever date someone from work??

    I can't speak for the stripper world, as I'm not one, and have never dated one. But in my personal opinion, if I had the choice (Dating sometimes gets crazy and you don't have control). I would never date a girl from my work place.

    It just seems like asking for trouble.

    Just my thoughts.

    Tyler.

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    Banned Melonie's Avatar
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    Default Re:ever date someone from work??

    99.9% of the time, any customer who a dancer meets while she's dancing is actually meeting her dance "persona" - which obviously accentuates certain attributes, plays down other attributes, and in general comprises a different person/personality than her real life self. Therefore any customer relationship which is allowed to develop by the dancer is essentially based on a lie, and doomed to fail in the long term.

    Similarly, 99.9% of interactions between dancers and club staff will be "immersed" in the business. This tends to break down the dotted line between a dancer's real life and a dancers "club persona", causing the two to blend together 24 hours a day. This can both create lots of psychological stress, and can lead to the dancer actually falling into "the life" (i.e. work, party, sleep, work, party, sleep).

    Granted, there is the possibility of rare exceptions both where customers and club staff are concerned, but in the vast majority of cases no good comes from such relationships.

  12. #12
    smooth
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    Default Re:ever date someone from work??

    Hey Mariah, I think in one of your post you mentioned that you met your ex-husband and current SO at your club cuz you rarely have a chance to meet guys anywhere else...

    So if a guy wanted to hook up with you, he prolly has a slightly better chance if he came to your club.. right?

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    God/dess Zabrina's Avatar
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    Default Re:ever date someone from work??

    Quote Originally Posted by smooth link=board=1;threadid=5869;start=msg63777#msg63777 date=1074310591
    Hey Mariah, I think in one of your post you mentioned that you met your ex-husband and current SO at your club cuz you rarely have a chance to meet guys anywhere else...

    So if a guy wanted to hook up with you, he prolly has a slightly better chance if he came to your club.. right?
    It's true I met them at the club, and in both cases they were smart and did NOT hit on me. Any guy clueless enough to ask me out while I'm working has about a zero chance. It's a no-no and a turn off.

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    Default Re:ever date someone from work??

    Hi, Mariah, I'm curious, how do you expect a guy to ask you out away from work? Do you give him your number? The reason I ask, I'm been dating a dancer for over two years, asked her to meet me for lunch or a drink or dinner for over a year before that. Of course, the only place I ever saw her, prior to two years ago, was at work. I saw no option other than to ask her out while she was at work.

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    God/dess blondhottie's Avatar
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    Default Re:ever date someone from work??

    I have never dated a customer. I wouldn't say I would never do it, but the chances are really slim. I've only met a couple guys over the last couple of years at work who I would consider dating if I hadn't met them at work (i.e. they were kind, funny, attractive, and we had some things in common.)

    If a dancer is interested in seeing the customer outside of the club, I'm sure that she would do the asking. Most of us are not shy. If we were too shy to ask a guy out, we wouldn't be in this line of work. Personally, I think that bouncers, DJ's, and managers have a better chance at dating a dancer than a customer does.







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    Default Re:ever date someone from work??

    Before becoming a manager I would sleep with co-workers but I couldn't imagine dateing a customer. We have a lot of male and female customers come in our club and I have stayed the night with a couple of ladies I met when I was a bartender but I couldn't imagine actualy having a realationship with that person.
    I have found out that as a manager or GM it is a VERY,VERY bad idea to date your employees. I have never had a girlfriend i did not have to fire. I just recently got out of year long relationship and all my staff know it (very messy breakup). I have recently had a couple of girls (waitress,doorhostess, and dancers) express an intrest in dating me. I tell them, "Do you want to go out with me enough to quit your job?" because I refuse to date and work with someone.
    My suggestion to any girl who would even consider dating a customer would be to ask him, " do you want to date me enough that you would NEVER come in this club again?"
    If they see you work - THERE WILL BE PROBLEMS
    I have seen it too many times. Nobody who truely cares for you can watch you entertain a total stranger.

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    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re:ever date someone from work??

    Every time I was stupid enough to date a dancer I worked with, it had a bad ending.

    This even happened when the dancer quit before we actually started dating. Oh, we were going to be smart about it, for a change...

    Ha!

    The manager, who had made a play for her and been rejected, found out anyways (told by someone I thought was my friend). He then proceeded to harass me mercilessly with petty rules, etc., until I more or less told him to fuck off, by saying I was sick of being hassled and wanted less nights. I was making enough money a night to risk this. Stupid me!

    He couldn't fire me right away, as I was too popular with the dancers (largely because I didn't hit on them like he did on a nightly basis). He did give some of my nights to a fat, repulsive moron with no music of his own. After about a month, we had lost half our dancers, and (surprise!) half our business, and he was thus able to can me, blaming me of course for the drop in revenue.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
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    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
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    Featured Member ami's Avatar
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    Default Re:ever date someone from work??

    Quote Originally Posted by double oh winter link=board=1;threadid=5869;start=msg63551#msg63551 date=1074268693

    I find I have lower respect for someone I have danced for ....If that makes sense? I start to put them in that bin as a guy who paid to see me nakid and I could never date a guy who I felt got suckered.
    exactly. i see them as ATM's, go up, push the right buttons and they spit out money.

    Quote Originally Posted by Rayanna link=board=1;threadid=5869;start=msg63632#msg63632 date=1074281252
    ...I pretty much quit dancing when my man and I got together. I just wasn't willing to let other men look at me like that or touch me anymore, and flirting felt so weird- dancing felt wrong after I fell in love.
    .... But its me that has a problem with it- I'd feel like I was cheating. Its odd too because I never felt this way before in any other relationship. That's how I know he is the one - it may sound strange to some, but it's right for me
    I feel weird sometimes danceing now that I am married. but its work. and i have a line that consitutes cheating. We also have an agreement that i can mess around with girls if i want to, but i would still ask permission for each girl each time i wanted to. lots of customers try to kiss me, i think of that as cheating (not to mention gross!). but being naked, thats just nudidty. and even dances are usueally ok.

    Quote Originally Posted by NVJosh link=board=1;threadid=5869;start=msg63687#msg63687 date=1074290497
    Quote Originally Posted by Mariah link=board=1;threadid=5869;start=msg63681#msg63681 date=1074289886

    Oh we know we are worth it, but we want a guy who is worthy of us---namely a guy who does not have to pay for female attention!
    Great quote...however its a sweeping generalization of SC customers. Sure, the PLs fit in that category. And there are also those who go to SCs because they like to relax and look at naked women. Or to watch the game and be able to see naked women during the commercials. Or the ones killing time between business meetings looking at naked women.

    If someone's social life consists only of SCs, he might not be great date material. I just don't think that finding true love in an SC is impossible...
    the guys who ask to go out are the really pathetic ones. come on, who really goes to a strip club to get a girlfriend? thats just sad. and the ones who want a "date" and not a girlfriend, i dont want anything to do with that. If they are just there to look at some naked women on thier break then they wont even ask, they will just tip and smile and leave.


    Quote Originally Posted by Melonie link=board=1;threadid=5869;start=msg63743#msg63743 date=1074301098
    99.9% of the time, any customer who a dancer meets while she's dancing is actually meeting her dance "persona" - which obviously accentuates certain attributes, plays down other attributes, and in general comprises a different person/personality than her real life self. Therefore any customer relationship which is allowed to develop by the dancer is essentially based on a lie, and doomed to fail in the long term...
    true. "ami" is my happier, bounceier, more outgoing alterego. she has a quick wit but also seems a bit niave at times. If someone truely wanted to date ami they would be disapointed at the bitchier, bluntness of the real me. I will admit that some of her habits get into the rest of my life, like smiling too much. and listeing to conversations i have no real intrest in but makeing it look like i do. those are really not bad things though. not like the life=party that some people get into.

    ......but then again I am married now and it dosnt matter where i meet a guy, he just plain has no chance.

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    Featured Member bambiblue's Avatar
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    Default Re:ever date someone from work??

    The club I work at is nude with no alcohol which means that we get a lot of 18 - 20 year old guys in there and then the 21-29 year olds. These are the guys who are looking for a fun story to tell their other friends about and yeah... maybe a trophy. I don't date customers.... more for security reasons than anything. You never know what your getting into.my club reminds me a lot of high school... and most of the girls there do date customers but more because they knew them from high school than just to simply hook up. I personally think it cuts into my money! If you date a guy you will loose him as a customer, not to mention that he will probably never fully trust you at work.

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