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Thread: Do you really want to be my friend?

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    Veteran Member livenudegirlsunite's Avatar
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    Default Do you really want to be my friend?

    I have heard that there are clubs on the east coast where guys get straight to the point. They go to lap dance clubs to get lap dances. I, like all strippers, get paid for doing lap dances not for having conversations. Why do customers expect to get a bunch of stupid small talk before buying a dance. Is it really necessary?
    Most people prefer to believe their leaders are just and fair even in the face of evidence to the contrary, because once a citizen acknowledges that the government under which they live is lying and corrupt, the citizen has to choose what he or she will do about it. - M Rivero

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    God/dess lestat1's Avatar
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    Default Re:Do you really want to be my friend?

    Quote Originally Posted by livenudegirlsunite link=board=8;threadid=5998;start=msg65330#msg65330 date=1074756198
    I have heard that there are clubs on the east coast where guys get straight to the point. They go to lap dance clubs to get lap dances. I, like all strippers, get paid for doing lap dances not for having conversations. Why do customers expect to get a bunch of stupid small talk before buying a dance. Is it really necessary?
    I'm in upstate NY, and you just described all the clubs near me. I once had a 1.5 minute conversation in Syracuse, and almost an entire song at a near-empty club on a slow night, but 99.5% of the time it's: "Hi, my name's: _____. What's yours? Would you like a dance?" If you say no, they move on. I think it may have to do with the type of being dance sold. The more "fantasy" and less "contact" in the dance, naturally the more "fantasy" you have to sell (conversation, personality, etc.) since it's not about contact. Not that they are exclusive or one better than the other, often I'd like more "fantasy." Just that if you're selling a fantasy, then you have to sell the fantasy. The "fantasy" being: "Wow, this sexy woman likes me and is enjoying spending time with me!"

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    Veteran Member livenudegirlsunite's Avatar
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    Default Re:Do you really want to be my friend?

    I live in Vegas and give extremely high contact lap dances. I am very flexible and take pride in being able to do the advanced lap dance moves. I highly doubt if the dancers on the east coast are allowed to do the high contact dances that we do out here.
    Most people prefer to believe their leaders are just and fair even in the face of evidence to the contrary, because once a citizen acknowledges that the government under which they live is lying and corrupt, the citizen has to choose what he or she will do about it. - M Rivero

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    Default Re:Do you really want to be my friend?

    In Vegas, the clubs are not lap dance clubs, they are gentlemens clubs, geared to a higher end customer. I call them time and company clubs. Just like in Houston the clubs are very upscale in appearance and operating style and are high contact. And guys run tabs in there and like to be treated like royalty. Any club with Champagne and VIP rooms is going to require a dancer to have great communication skills and even to "pretend" she is on a date with the potential customer in order to get the business. Those clubs are designed for dancers to sit and fraternize with the guys , and if you hit it off well do business. If you are more interested in the "wanna dance" type clubs, Phoenix or Tucson would be a better fit for you , but the dances are cheaper so you have to move around more to make your money.

    I know you are used to the LA area clubs such as TJ's etc where girls constantly just "wanna dance" the guys. The higher end clubs are more personal and you work in the higher end clubs.

    Have you thought about attending the Dancer Wealth seminar since you live in LV? I am going to the one in Feb. That may really help you learn the best approaches to use in selling different types of customers.

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    God/dess Zabrina's Avatar
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    Default Re:Do you really want to be my friend?

    I would love to just 'wannadance' every guy in the room. That would be easy money. But it does'nt work that way, customers come in for more than just lap dances. They want the whole strip-club experience. If it were just a matter of naked girls they might as well walk up to the stage and empty out their wallets right then and there. The fantasy is what sells--that idea that a hot and soon to be naked girl is flirting and paying attention to them. A girl who can make a guy feel funny, smart, and important-even for just 15 minutes, is going to make WAY more $$$ than Miss. Wannadance.

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    Featured Member FONDL's Avatar
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    Default Re:Do you really want to be my friend?

    Different customers are looking for different things. Some guys just like to drink and watch girls dance. Others enjoy getting lap dances from many different girls. Still others are looking for company and enjoy getting to know one or a few girls really well. I used to live in one city and work in another so I was out of town every week. I started visiting a club regularly and was mostly looking for company. I spent most of my time in a club where you could sit and talk for an extended period of time before getting private laps. To me this was a lot more fun than just getting laps from strangers. (And yes I did become friends with several of the dancers and got together regularly with them away from the club.) This arrangement also allowed most of the girls to develop a group of regulars and that's where they made most of their money. Different strokes for different folks. And to answer an earlier comment, there are clubs in PA, NJ and MD that allow as much contact as anywhere in the country.
    Friends Of Naked Dancing Ladies (FONDL)

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    Featured Member polecat's Avatar
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    Default Re:Do you really want to be my friend?

    >>"Why do customers expect to get a bunch of stupid small talk before buying a dance."<<

    Because your pretty girl in a G-string #57 for the night. What establishes you as being anything special over #56 and #58? The simple answer is- charm.

    A guy walks into a stripclub and it&#039;s sensory overload from all directions. Naturally, there will be one or two that really "do it" for him in a physical sense and he&#039;s going to target and focus on getting a dance from them. But what about the other 90% of the girls in the club?

    If you could create a hypothetical stripclub where all the dancers have their lips sewn shut and aren&#039;t allowed to converse or flirt with customers, you&#039;d find that maybe two or three of these dancers would get the lionshare of the dances/tips. The other&#039;s would be either second choices because those two/three are busy, or standing around while other customers are doing the same waiting for the two/three.

    Charm, flirting, conversation is what puts dancers on the map for regular customers. It&#039;s also what creates regulars and starts club loyalty if there are competing clubs nearby. A guy leaving the house with some cash in his pocket thinking "Hmm, I want half-naked women climbing all over me" can either make a random choice amongst many, or can instead think, "I&#039;m going to go see Stormy, that somewhat cute gal that was so much fun last time!" You want the latter since it puts money in your pocket versus someone else&#039;s.

    It doesn't matter if you're somebody in this world, it rather matters you mean the whole world to somebody.

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    Pamela
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    Default Re:Do you really want to be my friend?

    Looks alone don&#039;t always do it. You need a "calling card" and your conversation skills may very well be what some want to start off the night. Just don&#039;t waste much time on simple chit chat. I always gave myself arounf 10 minutes before moving on. BUT go back!

    Good luck, Pamela

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    Senior Member guywholikesdancers's Avatar
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    Default Re:Do you really want to be my friend?

    Well, yeah. But I don&#039;t want to waste your time either. How about we chat during the dance?


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    Veteran Member bibacle's Avatar
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    Default Re:Do you really want to be my friend?

    I really enjoy conversing with dancers who have interesting things to say. Smart women (like so many of you on this board) turn me on. HOWEVER, I am respectful that you are there to make money, not to have a conversation, so I always tip the dancers if I feel they have spent enough time with me.

    Some dancers think it is very strange to get money for "nothing". Some needed me to explain. Most appreciate my honesty. (one even gave the $ back!!!)
    "Those who dance, are considered crazy by those who can't hear the music."--George Carlin

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    Default Re:Do you really want to be my friend?

    Many of the younger dancers at my club say the same thing. They seem to feel entitled to a dance from a customer just from standing there and asking; of course, it&#039;s not just about that. It&#039;s not that guys aren&#039;t getting to the point, they just want to feel like more than an ATM. Granted, at certain clubs, especially those where dances are cheap ($10), this is pretty much the only way to operate and make money. Lord knows that&#039;s what I do on $10 dance nights here. But at the very least, an introduction and asking how his night is going are in order, plus it will set you off from the other girls that are simply asking for a dance. And it isn&#039;t like you have to spend all night talking to one guy; a few minutes will usually suffice.
    Conversational skills are a part of this job. It&#039;s not that the customer wants to be your friend; he just doesn&#039;t want to feel like customer #27 for the night. Maybe he came to club with a little company along with his dances, and the dancer who can provide that will get his money.
    Personality is a huge part of this job, and any dancer that neglects hers (and its effect on customers) does so at her own peril.

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    Veteran Member bibacle's Avatar
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    Default Re:Do you really want to be my friend?

    Short answer....yes...most of the time it is.

    And we don&#039;t want STUPID small talk, but honest conversation.
    "Those who dance, are considered crazy by those who can't hear the music."--George Carlin

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    Default Re:Do you really want to be my friend?

    I met a dancer about 6 months ago who was the most beautiful dancer I&#039;ve ever seen (see my TUSCL review on Erotic Cafe), plus she was intelligent, friendly, and gave the greatest lap dances I&#039;ve ever had. I thought I&#039;d be a regular. But when I went back the scond time there was still no extra time together, just a couple of private dances, then she went back to talking to the bouncer as she had the first time. She clearly had no interest in me as a person. I haven&#039;t been back since and it&#039;s saved me a whole lot of money.

    My ATF really likes people and thoroughly enjoys getting to know everyone she meets. We used to sit and talk for hours in her club, and she always had a big smile and friendly manner to go with her intelligent and interesting conversation. She was so open that she never even bothered to use a fake name. She had loads of regular customers and made tons of money, probably more than anyone else in the place. For the 1.5 years that she danced I saw her at least once a week and always gave her big tips, as did lots of other guys. Six years later we&#039;re still close friends.

    Interesting contrast, isn&#039;t it.
    Friends Of Naked Dancing Ladies (FONDL)

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    God/dess doc-catfish's Avatar
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    Default Re:Do you really want to be my friend?

    Quote Originally Posted by livenudegirlsunite link=board=8;threadid=5998;start=msg65330#msg65330 date=1074756198
    I, like all strippers, get paid for doing lap dances not for having conversations. Why do customers expect to get a bunch of stupid small talk before buying a dance. Is it really necessary?
    Sure you get paid for dances, but you need a little catalyst to make the sale. Is it neccesary? No. But will that time you invest in doing it get you deeper into the customer&#039;s wallet? In many cases, most certainly. A customer will be more agreeable to buy dances, and multiple dances if you soften him up a bit.

    Looking back on my trip to LV last August, I&#039;ve concluded that the girls who gave the most personality, not neccesarily the most mileage were the ones who sold me 4-5 dances instead of 1-2, or got me to go to the VIP room.

    Quote Originally Posted by livenudegirlsunite link=board=8;threadid=5998;start=msg65345#msg65345 date=1074760368
    I live in Vegas and give extremely high contact lap dances.
    Yes, but so do the overwhelming majority of girls in Vegas. What is going to make your high contact lap dance stand out from the competition? Unless you&#039;re pulling extras (which I assume from previous postings that you&#039;re definitely not), your charm and personality is the best weapon that you can use.

    Mind you that you&#039;re taking men, many of whom have deep social awkwardness with women, and giving them an incredibly sensual experience that no "real world" gal will give him. They need to be eased into that with a little chitty chat. Even in clubs with $10 dances I&#039;ve seen this strategy. The conversation should be simple and honest, but not terrifically deep, nor does it have to be terrifically long. Five minutes to start in most cases is plenty.

    A dancer is in the hospitality business. Sure she&#039;s there to make as much money as possible, but the key to doing that is to give the illusion to her customer that she&#039;s there for him. That is what ends up selling multiple dances, trips to the VIP room, and ensures a return visit. Its also a great way to cultivate regulars. A man will remember the charm that a particular dancer used on him long after the high contact gymnastics are over.
    Former SCJ now in rehab.

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    God/dess lestat1's Avatar
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    Default Re:Do you really want to be my friend?

    Doc, very well said!
    Quote Originally Posted by _Avery_ View Post
    omg, why is it so huge?!! lol lol

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    Default Re:Do you really want to be my friend?

    I have found that if you just walk up to a guy and ask him if he wants a dance without making any conversation first, 99% of the time he&#039;s going to say no. I always chit chat with the guy first, tell them my name, ask them their name, ask where they&#039;re from, just normal small talk.

    Like doc catfish said, you don&#039;t have to talk long, 5 minutes if fine. I might sit and talk for 2 or 3 songs if the club is really dead, but never more than 3 songs. Some guys are really shy and give one-word answers to all of your questions. Other guys will talk your ear off all night if you let them; these guys you have to cut in (but not rudely) and say "Hey, how about I give you a hot lap dance now?" I&#039;ve had guys that normally don&#039;t even get dances get a dance or two from me because they said I was one of the nicest dancers they&#039;ve ever met. So personality goes a long way.

    One thing I don&#039;t get is when a dancer sits by a guy for 10 or 15 minutes and doesn&#039;t say a word. Most guys like talkative, friendly girls (but not so talkative it&#039;s annoying-let them get a word in too!)






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    Senior Member jenna2479's Avatar
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    Default Re:Do you really want to be my friend?

    "I live in Vegas and give extremely high contact lap dances. I am very flexible and take pride in being able to do the advanced lap dance moves. I highly doubt if the dancers on the east coast are allowed to do the high contact dances that we do out here."


    You&#039;d be surprised at what goes on out here in NY. It&#039;s disgusting. Very few girls out here are actually "exotic dancers". We give high mileage an all new meaning. For those of us who don&#039;t do that type of thing, we have to get dances based on conversation. I find that 50-60% of my clientele come and buy champagne room dances just to talk to me in private. I don&#039;t even get undressed. We just sit side by side and talk. I&#039;d rather get paid $200-250 for a 1/2 of conversation without having to take my clothes off than having to bump and grind on a guys lap for my money. You&#039;d be surprised how much money conversation can make for you. Most of my customers are married and they come in just to vent to me about their marriages/work. I, unlike their wife, will listen without criticizing. This is how I make most of my money, not by putting my crotch 1/2 inch from a guys face, which is the norm out here.

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    Featured Member Prester_John's Avatar
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    Default Re:Do you really want to be my friend?

    When I go to a SC, I enter and park myself in a seat on the premise that the dancers are there to dance for the customers, and the customers are there to tip them. It’s a reciprocal relationship often ruined by cheap bastards who don’t tip and by dancers who don’t make any sort of effort beyond trying to collect a tip. Despite this, the reciprocal nature of the experience still stands.

    That doesn’t include conversation. The dancers are there working - I am in their place of work. It would be patently wrong for me to ask, or expect, them to spend an inordinate amount of time blabbing with me when they could be making money elsewhere (I am not cheap, but I cant fork over wads of cash to everyone at once - my time there would be exceedingly short if I didn’t measure out my funds). Thus, if I get no real conversation from any dancer - no harm no foul. I am still seeing them dance in various states of undress, and they are at least making a few dollars from me each time they are on stage.

    Yet, I have had a lot of conversations with dancers from a bit of lighthearted fun to very serious, long conversations. They ALL have been instigated by the dancer - not me. Why? Because as I said, I am at their work. How they choose to spend their time is wholly up to them. Do I compensate them for their time talking to me? Certainly. I have tossed money their way saying "Hey thanks for sitting with me". A few have tried to give it back (without success). The result of them choosing to talk with me is that I remember the ones who converse with me, and generally they are the ones who get a lot of my money either then or in return trips.

    Conversation is an "extra" to me. In my Opinion, Its not part of the basic SC equation, so when it happens, it’s a very happy bit of extra experience. I can enjoy it immensely, because I enjoy real people far more then a persona.

    One mans perspective. I don’t know how unique it is, or if it is unique at all.

    PJ

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    Default Re:Do you really want to be my friend?

    Yes, there are clubs where you don&#039;t have to talk much and the guys will ask you for dances. Sometiime I have felt like a "dance Machine" in these environments and wished for some intelligent conversation. I think the "have to have conversation before I will buy a dance" evolved over time because the customers demanded it in certain areas.
    Conversation time also lets a guy spend more time with you for less money if he only pays for the dances.
    I usually do okay in both situations because I do like to get to know my good customers and see them as people. Sometimes though it would be nice to take a mental break and just dance. I don&#039;t mind conversation, but I do hate the mind games some guys like to play. It is sad to me that some men need to "best" a woman to feel better about themselves.

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    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re:Do you really want to be my friend?

    The mind games are especially prominent in Houston. I guess because there are just soooo many dancers there and they guys have their pick. I get really tired of having to be nice to a man insulting me, not believing anything I tell him, and trying to confirm a "date" from me even though he doesn&#039;t know anything about me and doesn&#039;t believe anything I tell him.

    At the end of the night....I just run around the place grabbing up guys telling them "time to dance!" because when you add DRUNK to what I said about, things get ugly and faces get slapped...meow!

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    Default Re:Do you really want to be my friend?

    Quote Originally Posted by livenudegirlsunite link=board=8;threadid=5998;start=msg65330#msg65330 date=1074756198
    I have heard that there are clubs on the east coast where guys get straight to the point. They go to lap dance clubs to get lap dances. I, like all strippers, get paid for doing lap dances not for having conversations. Why do customers expect to get a bunch of stupid small talk before buying a dance. Is it really necessary?
    Bingo, that&#039;s what I usually expect in a club. But if the dancers suck then you can be sure I won&#039;t go back to that particular club.



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    Veteran Member foxee555's Avatar
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    Default Re:Do you really want to be my friend?

    Personally, the best $ I&#039;ve ever made was with customers who paid me for my company. If I could avoid privates and do stage only I would.
    Of course, here in Guam, I can make my $10 sitting and having a cocktail. That&#039;s a much easier 5min. than a dance.
    Plus, here it is SUCH high mileage that I like to feel out a guy before I&#039;m alone in a little room with him. Make sure he he&#039;s knows a dance is ONLY that (and that I don&#039;t have a dirty little octopus on my hands!)
    I am lazy and I like to party


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    Banned Madcap's Avatar
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    Default Re:Do you really want to be my friend?

    Do you really want to be my friend?

    Sure, why not.

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    Default Re:Do you really want to be my friend?

    Pamela made a good point about going back to a guy who says no to a dance when you first talk to him. He made not have gotten settled in yet. I don&#039;t mean going back every 5 minutes, but maybe in 30-40 minutes if he is still there and having a second drink try talking to him again. He may bite.

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    Featured Member FONDL's Avatar
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    Default Re:Do you really want to be my friend?

    Different guys go to clubs for different reasons. Personally I&#039;m mainly looking for some pleasant company, which includes some interesting conversation. I often find that dancers are fun to talk to because they often live in a world that&#039;s radically different from my own and often have very interesting insights as a result. So conversation is very important to me. Getting to know the girl a little first usually also enhances the private dance experience. I&#039;ll also repeat something I&#039;ve said elsewhere - I&#039;m likely to show a lot more respect for a girl who has taken the time to sit and get to know me a little. So if you&#039;re looking for more respect, maybe this can help you get it.
    Friends Of Naked Dancing Ladies (FONDL)

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