My boyfriend is starting to do a number on my self esteem. I have been dancing for about 8 years, and was a dancer long before I met him. He didnt seem to have a problem with it until lately, and I dont think I can stand it anymore. "Chavez" drives a beer truck for a living and samples alot of the product each day if you know what I mean. That is until he got laid off last fall. Now he just surfs the Internet for porn and fantasy football sites, and smokes weed and crank all day. Anyway, lately he has been calling me names like Tramp and Ho simply because I dance for a living. It really hurts my feelings and it makes me hate myself. I dont go home with the customers and I dont sell my body for sex.
Aside from that, Chavez is bi-sexual, and has gotten me to participate in a few 3-ways with him and his french friend, "Sacrebleu". I dont want to do it, but Chavez threatens me. He has hit me a few times but mostly just threatens to do so. Thankfully, they seem to be more into each other than me anyway so I just lay there for a while as they mostly pleasure each other. Then afterwards, he calls me more names for doing exactly what he asked. How am I the Ho when he wants me to strap on a dildo and f him up the butt? I honestly dont know why I stay with this loser, except he is the father of my 3 kids(at least I think he is! ha ha!)
Anyway, he has beaten my self esteem down so bad that I have looked for other places for love. There are a couple of really, really, really old but wealthy regulars at my club who have both said they will get me out of my current situation. "Rocknrobn" is a kind old man who would pay for me to get a boob job in a heartbeat. And my boobs and my outlook on life could really use some surgery about now! But he must be 100 years old, and unlike Anna Nicole Smith, I cant stand old wrinkly balls. And "Skylive" is another rich geezer that has promised me the world, its just that a crane and all the viagra in the world wont get him going again.
I dont really know what to do right now. How do you build your self esteem up when your man is constantly belittling you? I think Chavez just feels bad himself, and he cuts me down to build himself up. I am just tired of it I guess. Has anyone had this sort of issue with your man?


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