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Thread: keeping a customer?

  1. #1
    tampafldancer
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    Default keeping a customer?

    Why is it always that cutomers don't last?? After a couple months they always what to "take you shopping", "phone buddies", whatever???
    I had a great customer that would drop about 500 every time he came in, supplying me a pretty good side income.
    Now he says that he just wants something more "girlfriend".
    I told him i couldnt do it, and left for the dressing room.

    Now im home dreading going back to work, wondering what my earning potential could be without him!!

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    Banned Madcap's Avatar
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    Default Re:keeping a customer?

    That's one of the reasons that some guys are regs in the first polace. Some of them figure that if he spends enough time and money that he has a chance. Being attracted to a woman isn't a bad thing, he might even be an okay fellow, but delusional. He doesn't really know her, just the persona she adopts to work.

    Unrealistic, but what can ya do?



    As I posted in another thread, I've met Dancers that i would have LOVED to ask out, i'm just not going to bother her with yet another come on. I leave the whoile dating thing at the door. Dancers get hit on 80 times a night and i'm not interested in being Mr. #81. I'm just not that guy. Better for all concerned.

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    God/dess doc-catfish's Avatar
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    Default Re:keeping a customer?

    Quote Originally Posted by tampafldancer link=board=1;threadid=6132;start=msg67349#msg67349 date=1075176986
    I had a great customer that would drop about 500 every time he came in, supplying me a pretty good side income.
    Now he says that he just wants something more "girlfriend".
    I told him i couldnt do it, and left for the dressing room.

    Now im home dreading going back to work, wondering what my earning potential could be without him!!
    Unless he's uber rich, if a customer is dropping that kind of cash on you regularly, logic dictates that he's not just doing it because he likes your dances. Eventually he is going to make a proposition for something that you're not willing to give him. Don't knock it. You did the right thing by saying no, and be thankful that he and you broke up cleanly. A lot of dancers aren't so lucky when a regular goes sour on them.

    The moral to this story is that while regulars can be lucrative, they all will burn out eventually. In fact, I'm sure a few ladies will attest that the more a guy spends per trip, the faster this will occur. For that very reason, don't make your income dependent on the business of one or two people.
    Former SCJ now in rehab.

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    God/dess Susan-Va's Avatar
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    Default Re:keeping a customer?

    Customers come and go in this business. Usually when they realize that they are not getting anything. I've had to "break up" with cusotmers before because they were trying to take things to a different level. Remember when one door closes another one opens! There will be another big spender soon!

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    Featured Member tragic-beauty's Avatar
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    Default Re:keeping a customer?

    what i did.. was when id have "Greedy" customers that always wanted my time... before and after stage sets id sit and mingle with customers... which is good because when h leaves you can get dances.. and if they like you.. theyll come back..


    point is.. i dont spend ALL my time with them because i know it wont last.. so while i have a customer.. im working on getting another.

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    Veteran Member SaraNLA's Avatar
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    Default Re:keeping a customer?

    Somtimes they will surprise you too - they will leave on the basis you're not going to go out with them, but show up again two months later.....six months later....and start spending again.
    Let your indulgence set me free. - Shakespeare

  7. #7
    Pamela
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    Default Re:keeping a customer?

    IT's a tough call on your part. I tried right off the bat after a customer spending around 6 nights with me alone, let it be known i can not break club rules. I have lost some, and some understand. Alot thought i was too crazy for them anyway, and enjoyed me inside the club for fantasy i guess. Well was told so. But you have to remember if a guy is dumping this much money on you alot, the questions are goinf to come. It sucks, and you may lose him, but i would go to work and explain the situation....Rules of the club, how bad you need to work, and how you value him as a great regular.

    Good luck,

    Pamela

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    God/dess Farrah_Holiday's Avatar
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    Default Re:keeping a customer?

    Wow ! Great posts everyone.. Like someone said there will always be more customers. I have had to break it of with customers before too.
    I have learned to tell a lot of customers that I am just not ready for that or I am too busy to start seeing someone at this time in my life. (which is always true)
    I also start off telling customers that I don't date guys that I meet in the club. I had way too many girlfriends who have and its just way too much drama.
    My new love...is me !

    Even the greatest authority does not, ultimately, know you as you know yourself.
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    Veteran Member afxturnip's Avatar
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    Default Re:keeping a customer?

    Quote Originally Posted by doc-catfish link=board=1;threadid=6132;start=msg67362#msg67362 date=1075179213
    The moral to this story is that while regulars can be lucrative, they all will burn out eventually. In fact, I'm sure a few ladies will attest that the more a guy spends per trip, the faster this will occur.
    Well I haven't burned out yet. I've known my atf for 4 years now and have seen her fairly regularly during that time. Of course, I'm sure there's debate concerning regular status regarding money spent, number of days per week visited, etc.

    Bottom line is I don't go in with unrealistic expectations. And I don't try to use money to effect something that's not gonna happen.

    -afx

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    God/dess Farrah_Holiday's Avatar
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    Default Re:keeping a customer?

    AFX,
    Its seems like you have a very good outlook.
    Is always so refreshing to meet customers like you.
    I really enjoy dancing when I can just dance for my customer without
    those extra added pressures.
    Farrah
    My new love...is me !

    Even the greatest authority does not, ultimately, know you as you know yourself.
    Jhuka

    When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
    Maya Angelou


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    Veteran Member afxturnip's Avatar
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    Default Re:keeping a customer?

    Quote Originally Posted by Farrah_Holiday link=board=1;threadid=6132;start=msg67574#msg67574 date=1075233150
    AFX,
    Its seems like you have a very good outlook.
    Is always so refreshing to meet customers like you.
    I really enjoy dancing when I can just dance for my customer without
    those extra added pressures.
    Farrah
    Heh. Upon reading that, some people that know me (and perhaps my atf) would fall into paroxysms of disbelief. I call myself a realist, but some would charge me with cynicism and negativism. But I am who I am.

    I only get really ornery when I don't have the resources to go visit my local hangout as much as I'd like.

    Thanks for the compliment!

    -afx

  12. #12
    Featured Member Chili Palmer's Avatar
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    Default Re:keeping a customer?

    Sorry, but I'll have to take a different tack than the previous posters.

    I've been clubbing for more years than I care to remember, and seen plenty of ATF's come and go. C'est la vie; it's the nature of the business for dancers to come and go.

    My home club for the last 6 years has been Spearmint Rhino in the City of Industry. Whenever I go to the club (at least 1-3 times a month), I spend between $500-$800 per visit. But not on one woman: when I did my "year end wrap-up" on another site, I found I had sixteen regulars in my current rotation.

    For you to now sit here, after taking this guy's money--exclusively, would be my guess--for how many months, and not expect him to want to take the business relationship to the next level is disingenuous at best.

    Personally, I go to a club to get laps--dancers who are my regulars know they can sit with me if they want to, but I make no demands on their time. I make it a point to never ask personal questions (real name, family matters, etc.), or to ask out a dancer. This doesn't mean that dancers haven't given me their number unsolicited, but my expectations are purely within the four walls of the club.

    Next time, instead of just taking the poor guy for a ride, why don't you actually STOP before he gets too attached and set some ground rules. I realize asking a potential sugar daddy to stop paying you hundreds of dollars for low mileage dances might impact your short term income, but long term it will still balance out and you won't have to worry as much about either losing him completely and/or the dreaded stalker issue.

    CP




  13. #13
    Featured Member polecat's Avatar
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    Default Re:keeping a customer?

    Not sure what it's worth, or what value my advice would be.. coming from an unusual perspective, but I guess it's worth a shot.

    The key to maintaining longevity in the customer->patron relationship seems to boil down to balancing a projected "appreciation" versus a "need" .. tough to explain, but I'll try.

    Be it intentional or subconscious, real or fake, men pick up on a whole "need" air about a woman, and it's a natural instinct for even the most genuine and nice guys to swoop in. The nicer guys just take longer and are appealing to their Champion side ("Hmmm, I bet this gal could really USE a sugar daddy!"). The not so nice guys move in faster and are appealing to their trophy conquest side ("I'll bet I can coax this tart to the dessert plate given her reaction to my fresh Franklins.")

    Some dancers work this angle to gather regulars without even knowing it. Be it subtle hints of jealousy (even a blink or leg movement) when the patron looks/admires other dancers, or otherwise being a bit TOO gung-ho on their repeat visits can spark the reaction.

    The dancers I see that latch onto the longer term, multi-year regulars carry a bit more confident air about them. They don't exhibit any exclusivity needs to their patrons- and often times encourage they come back with friends or try other dancers... anything to portray that while one on one time is wonderful, there is much fun to be had with larger numbers. Without being blunt or condescending, they are able to portray that they are happy working there and make a good, healthy earning. Regular tales of lavish shopping or traveling... maybe even a real/fictional portrayal of relationships outside the club.

    This all is balanced with exceptional treatment and appreciation. A capital "A" on Appreciation. A dancer can treat a gentleman special, make him feel like a king, the only man on the face of the planet as well as desireable, but without giving the impression that she is "needy" in any way. This makes the generosity component of the tips moreso voluntary versus something the customer assumes is required or needed. It also gives the gentleman much less to cling onto as a method or tool to "swoop in".. be it wrongfully perceived or real.

    I've kinda botched the explanation, but it's really hard to define with words or examples. I know a lot of veteran dancers may be able to communicate this better, but maybe the filling in from a man's point of view may yield a bit more insight.
    It doesn't matter if you're somebody in this world, it rather matters you mean the whole world to somebody.

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    Veteran Member Daisa's Avatar
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    Default Re:keeping a customer?

    Looking from a different aspect, I have had many regular customers. I had one that would come in every night that I was working and simply ask me how much money I needed to earn that night, and simply give it to me. Now, after a certain amount of time, I simply got spoiled...I forgot how to hustle. When, inevitably, the end of this "relationship" came, it was because he started thinking that something more had happened between us.
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    Banned Melonie's Avatar
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    Default Re:keeping a customer?

    Next time, instead of just taking the poor guy for a ride, why don't you actually STOP before he gets too attached and set some ground rules. I realize asking a potential sugar daddy to stop paying you hundreds of dollars for low mileage dances might impact your short term income, but long term it will still balance out and you won't have to worry as much about either losing him completely and/or the dreaded stalker issue.
    First of all, Hi Chili ! For members who don't know him (or of him), Chili is the kind of customer that dancers dream about!

    At any rate, I concur entirely with Chili's comment regarding a potential "dreaded stalkier" issue. One of the consequences of spending SO much time and attention with one dominant regular customer and accepting tens of thousands of dollars from him over a period of time is that this customer has made a HUGE investment in you. Most guys expect something special in return for making this sort of investment.

    When the "moment of truth" finally arrives where the regular customer wants to raise the stakes of his "relationship" with the dancer, and the dancer is then forced to remind him that she has been mentally and emotionally treating him as just another customer for all this time, that the dancer is in fact not interested a deeper personal relationship etc. some guys are simply not content to walk away. Some customers begin to "force the issue" by attempting to contact the dancer outside of the club, to suddenly appear at a dancer's doorstep, or otherwise try to horn in on the dancer's personal life and force his attentions on her. These sort of situations can possibly escalate to dangerous proportions if not properly handled.

    I have always made it a cardinal rule while dancing live in the same club for extended periods to never devote more than 20% of my time and attention to any one customer. At the first sign of "undue interest" on the part of a club customer I also make it a point to inform him that both the club and I personally have not, do not, and will not ever get personally involved with a club customer or interact with them in any way outside of the club. Sure, I have seen lots of lost income potential as a result of this policy, as many guys will simply move on to another dancer after I tell them my policy. But on the other hand, as a result of my policy I have never faced a deeply disappointed club customer or a potentially dangerous stalker situation.

    There's also a fine line between a girl simply acting as a dancer with a regular customer, and a girl offering encouragement or vague promises or otherwise allowing a customer to persist in the assumption that if only he spends enough money that he can "buy" your attentions. That fine line is known by another term in the straight business world - deceptive business practices/sales techniques.

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    Veteran Member Lurker_001's Avatar
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    Default Re:keeping a customer?

    If i can from a customers point of view a slightly differant angle on the subject of regular girl/customer.To make a long story short.I found a very nice girl that i would vist at a club and spend most of my money on.well,i would go to other clubs and spend money on girls but none of them had her warmth.So if you find a girl you like to be an audience for spend your money on her.You may not be more than just club friends but you'll never regret it.

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    Banned Madcap's Avatar
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    Default Re:keeping a customer?

    I'm trying to think of exactly how to say this.

    See, this is one of the reason I avoid being anyone's reg. I never attend the same club twice in a row, and when I do return to a club it's usually been so long that the girls have to have the memory of Athena to know me from anyone else (In other words, I leapfrog from club to club). And then, if I spend time with anyone, which I of course will, it'll be a different Dancer than the last one i hung with at that club. I can sit here and think of at least ten Dancers that I consider to be absolute sweethearts as well as physically perfect, but I avoid really getting to know anything about them other than cursury stuff. Small talk. In other words, I just don't want an ATF.

    Here's why...

    I'm kind of a hopeless romantic, and it's very easy for someone like that to believe what they want to believe... even if it's Stripper Shit. I'm not saying I do, I don't (i'm not an idiot), but if i really got *into* a girl I'd at least want to, and that would be upleasent for me: Wanting to believe something and knowing it was, in fact, bullshit.

    Some guys can divorce themselves from this, but not me. I can't sit and talk to a girl (any girl) that I think is cool and not start to like her. For a Dancer this means *like her as more than a Stripper* (Though, not in any way like a GF, more like 'feel romantic stirrings for her&#039. Now, I'm not dumb enough or dishonest enough with myself to think anything other than Stripper Shit is going on, so then I'm stuck in a very uncomfortable position. Lets call it "Unrequited burgeoning romantic feelings" because I can't think of anything else better (or, unfortunately, shorter). Let me tell you, the mere thought of that doesn't sound, to me, like a good thing to be in.

    So while I stay away from one of the core parts of the experience, it's probably for the best. I probably have a little less fun than guys who have ATF's (I'm assuming having an ATF usually means that the guy is her reg), but I'll avoid even the hint of danger of RIL or anything like that. Screw that.

    In a way, for the short term this is beneficial to a Dancer. Because it means I'll be on my best behavior. I can't help but see any woman as a bit more than a pair of tits, so I'll do my very best to be polite, keep my hands to myself, and more importantly (to her, anyway) be generous with my cash because i know she's not there only because she thinkis it's fun, she's there to get the car payment made (though for all I know she thinks it's the most fun job she's ever had, hell it looks fun to me). In the long term she loses out, though. She'll make FAR more money from some guy that wants to be her reg, she'll just do it over a longer period of time than the few hours she'll know me (this time anyway, after a few months I might come talk to her again).


    Now if I was a little dumber, let's say, or more gullible, i'd be up shit creek without a paddle. I'd probably right now be in some Dancer's pocket, buying into all the Stripper Shit she's feeding me (that sounds bad, doesn't it) and slowly falling in love with some stage persona that is little more than a figment of mine and her imagination (She comes up with some character, names herself, and my imagination does the rest). In other words, i'd be one of those morons who don't really mean any harm that you have to eventually brush off (Trust me, ladies, not every guy this delusion happens to has it in them to show up at your house, or decide that he loves you so much that if you don't love him back he'll hurt you). Knowing me, if I was stupider I'd be part of the teddy bear brigade or something equally cheesy.

  18. #18
    God/dess Lexi's Avatar
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    Default Re:keeping a customer?

    maybe because its 4:30 in the morning, or im MISSING it, but someone had mentioned (could be another thread) that the more a customer spends, the faster he is likely to be one of the ones that leaves. And I could NOT agree more.
    I had a customer who used to drop $600...and he didnt want anythiiiiiiiiiiiiing other than for me to stand up, and he rubbed my back, or stared at me. Yeah creepy, a bit, but it really wasnt as he was like 20 years old and a cool guy. Needless to say, after 3 visits and an email (i gave it to let him know my schedule) he said, "lexi you are becoming too real to me and I juyst feel terrible to look at you that way"
    God DAYUM I wanted to crawl into a hole. Not only had I destroyed the "fantasy" but I also destroyed my wallet. LOL

  19. #19
    Featured Member Chili Palmer's Avatar
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    Default Re:keeping a customer?

    Lexi:

    We call these customers "f*ckos", which is defined as a person who sucks up excessive dancer bandwidth without getting laps from said dancer and preventing others from getting theirs.

    In other words, for the lapping PL, he is the lowest form of humanity and must be persecuted whenever possible. Dancers who disappear into the "f*ucksophere" become almost impossible to lap, as th f*cko in question bores her to death talking about his pathetic job/family/existence/whatever, while the dancer pretends to listen and instead thinks about the BMW she wants to lease.

    CP

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    Featured Member FONDL's Avatar
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    Default Re:keeping a customer?

    I prefer to find a girl I really like and visit with her regularly, I just think it's more fun that way. But I usually limit my visits to a realtively short amount of time and I don't spend excessively. I think that any dancer who is accepting really big bucks from a customer on a regular basis is asking for trouble. Unless he's a very rare person he's expecting something in return.
    Friends Of Naked Dancing Ladies (FONDL)

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    Veteran Member vanilla_dog's Avatar
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    Default Re:keeping a customer?

    Quote Originally Posted by tampafldancer link=board=27;threadid=6132;start=msg67349#msg6734 9 date=1075176986
    Why is it always that cutomers don't last?? After a couple months they always what to "take you shopping", "phone buddies", whatever???
    Because the name of this game is variety. Even if you did do the girlfriend/shopping/phone buddy thing chances are as soon as he *got some* he'd disappear anyway. He would say he "needs space" or whatever. One way or another he's going to go back to his merry ways of chasing women ...just like he was doing when he met you.
    You get what you put up with

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    Veteran Member SexyBooty's Avatar
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    Default Re:keeping a customer?

    I have like couple of them. One comes on tuesday the other on friday . sometimes they all be there at the same time and i only can alk to 3.Its okay though. of course they all want to date you or talk on the phone or to have a dinner.
    ohhh
    Most people would rather be certain they're miserable, than risk being happy.

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    Default Re:keeping a customer?

    Quote Originally Posted by Sara... link=board=27;threadid=6132;start=msg67556#msg6755 6 date=1075229785
    Somtimes they will surprise you too - they will leave on the basis you're not going to go out with them, but show up again two months later.....six months later....and start spending again.
    Yup, that does happen sometimes! While customers are great to have, dancers need to stop relying on them. I have 3 guys that spoil me rotten and haven't (yet) voiced a need for anything more than my company and dances. However, I try to budget myself as though they didn't exist, because I know from past experience the other shoe might drop and they'll want more than I can give.

    But keep in mind that your money might not suffer for long since now you're free to cultivate other customers if this one leaves.
    "She has written so well, and marvellously well, that I was completely ashamed of myself as a writer...But this girl, who is to my knowledge very unpleasant and we might even say a high-grade bitch, can write rings around all of us who consider ourselves as writers"

    Ernest Hemingway on writer, aviation pioneer and horse trainer Beryl Markham


  24. #24
    God/dess Farrah_Holiday's Avatar
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    Default Re:keeping a customer?

    True Daisy..
    My new love...is me !

    Even the greatest authority does not, ultimately, know you as you know yourself.
    Jhuka

    When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
    Maya Angelou


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    Default Re:keeping a customer?

    it seems like he wants to go out with you

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