View Poll Results: can friends still be friends after sleeping together?

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  • Yes

    18 26.47%
  • No way

    12 17.65%
  • depends...

    38 55.88%
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Thread: SEX

  1. #1
    Featured Member krys's Avatar
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    Default SEX

    Do you think that friends can stay friends after sex? I have never been in this predicament before but I think it might be about to happen. We have talked about it openly and neither of us want to jeopodise the friendship.
    Whats your opinion???? ???

  2. #2
    Veteran Member Topaz's Avatar
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    Default Re:SEX

    NOPE...the friendship is all jacked up after sex enters the picture...somebody will start wanting more...then what...
    Why do some people still have to fight...to get the same opportunities...that are given to others??...

    Look out for self...because noone else will...AND
    The greatest revenge in the world...is success...

    Reclusivness...is a good thing.

  3. #3
    God/dess
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    Default Re:SEX

    I vote no as well.


  4. #4
    God/dess GoldCoastGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re:SEX

    Depends what type of friendship you want with the other person ???

    Plutonic... well.. it isn't plutonic anymore if you have sex with your friend.

    If, OTOH, you just want to have sex every so often together ... hence "fuck buddies"... that is different. That can work however it takes maturity for this type of friendship to work.

    Most of the time.. the friendship is changed in some way. Some people can stay friends after the deed is done however those same people usually have a period where they don't contact each other and then when resuming the friendship won't mention that event ever....

    So.. NO in the end.


    enter: E3167322D9 for your 10% discount

  5. #5
    Veteran Member shedevil4260's Avatar
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    Default Re:SEX

    I voted depends as well. I think it just depends on what both of you want. If you just want to be friends and that's it and he really wants it, I wouldn't. But if it was a mutual choice and you both want it- I'd say go for it! :It's worked for me in the past!
    Lips, Hips, and Sugary Tits

  6. #6
    God/dess blondhottie's Avatar
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    Default Re:SEX

    I voted depends too. Like Shedevil said, it depends what both of you want. The only way it'll work is if you both want the same thing. Sometimes after friends sleep together, one of them starts having feelings for the other one and wants a relationship and the other person doesn't want that, that's where things can get sticky. If you've been friends with this guy for a long time and you don't want to ruin it, I would suggest not having sex with him. Sex partners/boyfriends/girlfriends come and go, but good friends are hard to find.






  7. #7
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    Default Re:SEX

    There's a funny Sienfeld episode where Jerry and Elaine make rules about having sex and remaining only friends.

    a couple of the rules were no phone calls the day after, and sleeping over was totally optional, i forget the rest.

    Maybe if you guys make up some rules it could work, the one problem is feelings often change after having sex and it can get complicated.

  8. #8
    Pamela
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    Default Re:SEX

    Sure they can! Been there done that years ago with a very good bud. We are still friends, hang when we can, and discuss ex's as well. We never made an agreement, this just happened (once in my life) and it was all good!

    Pamela

  9. #9
    Banned Madcap's Avatar
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    Default Re:SEX

    Actually, i voted depends, the answer can be all three, depending on the nature of the friendship...

  10. #10
    Veteran Member NVJosh's Avatar
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    Default Re:SEX

    Where's the option for "I have no friends"? *sob* *sob* *sob*

    Of course they can...sometimes...what else are fuck buddies for?

    So, therefore...depends.

  11. #11
    God/dess lestat1's Avatar
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    Default Re:SEX

    This is a very important question to ponder and I feel it warrants further research and extensive, personal study. All those wishing to be a participant in this endeavor should contact me via PM so arrangements can be made. I humbly offer my assistance, in the name of social science, and goodwill toward my fellow humankind. May we all learn and grow through nookie, friendship, and more nookie.

    -lestat1 ce:
    Quote Originally Posted by _Avery_ View Post
    omg, why is it so huge?!! lol lol

  12. #12
    Banned Melonie's Avatar
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    Default Re:SEX

    I vote no. Once you have had sex with someone you care about, there is a natural human drive towards something more than just friendship.

  13. #13
    God/dess
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    Default Re:SEX

    Yes, and sometimes you can become friends with someone you've slept with .

  14. #14
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    Default Re:SEX

    I think you can be friends after sleeping together. As long as it wasn't about one really liking the other one more. Most times it is about the guy being friends with you then realizing thery like you more than a friend. As long as its mutual and fun with no strings. It can happen.
    Opinions are one thing that makes us all individuals.

  15. #15
    Veteran Member Jillian's Avatar
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    Default Re:SEX

    Quote Originally Posted by RYAN link=board=1;threadid=6246;start=msg68560#msg68560 date=1075437389
    the one problem is feelings often change after having sex and it can get complicated.

    yeah no kidding. not that my feelings were the ones that changed....


    speaking of sex i'm soooo sick of hearing the people next door get it on. good god all they do is screw....they just finished about a minute ago. morning, afternoon, night, and anytime in between...have some consideration for your neighbors and don't pound on the wall or do it on anything that knocks up against it. grr.


    [/URL]

  16. #16
    Veteran Member Brooklyn's Avatar
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    Default Re:SEX

    Depends on how good the sex was....LOL

  17. #17
    Featured Member Prester_John's Avatar
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    Default Re:SEX

    Quote Originally Posted by krys link=board=1;threadid=6246;start=msg68492#msg68492 date=1075424814
    Do you think that friends can stay friends after sex? I have never been in this predicament before but I think it might be about to happen. We have talked about it openly and neither of us want to jeopodise the friendship.
    Whats your opinion???? ???
    I personally do not think this can be easily answered with a yes, no or depends. When sex in is the equation, it certainly complicates matters, and that’s not necessarily either a bad or good thing.

    I am all for people going out and indulging in their sexual needs. Have as much sex as you want, men and women, and be happy with it - as long as you do it safely and do not hurt anyone (including yourself)

    HOWEVER, it’s not simple. For two people to have sex and it be NOT a problem, they both "have to be on the same page", to turn a phrase. If there is sex involved, and the two people aren’t of the same mind about each other and the sex itself, one or both WILL get hurt, and it WILL cause problems - problems that could have been avoided with thinking a little before hand.

    We all love the fantasy of spontaneous sex - its can be raw, animalistic and can be wholly satisfying. "Thinking" about it beforehand is an anathema to many because of the belief it kills the pleasure of the spontaneity. Unless you are in a committed relationship, you HAVE to evaluate the consequences of a sexual relationship - particularly with a previously platonic friendship. Killjoy? In a way. Do you want to prevent losing a friend? Then the "killjoy" might be worth it if it saves you a friend - because I can attest that friends are the hardest thing to come by.

    "Being on the same page" means that you both are confident your wants and desires in this match each other. It is possible for two friends to care for each other, enjoy physical pleasures, and not lose each other, if they are both of the same mindset about both the sex AND your friendship.

    Sure, things can change. We are always evolving, so the relationship CAN change, either right after or later. That’s a risk - friendship itself is a risk. However, if you evaluate whether you are both on the same page about all of it, chances are whatever you do will cause less change then if you didn’t stop and think about what might happen.

    If you ARENT on the same page, or you ARENT sure, then by all means, don’t risk the friendship by having sex. Its far better to err on the side of caution, if you value the friendship more then you value the fleeting pleasures of sex.

    If you both are sure you are on the same page about it, go to it and have fun. It certainly is possible to have sex with a friend and retain that friendship, but you have to give it a damn lot of thought about the kind of person you both are, and what you both want.

    I hope this psychobabble does any good Its just the perspective of a long haired goofball.

    Good Luck to you.

    PJ



  18. #18
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    Default Re:SEX

    I voted Depends.Casual sex with a friend that you don't see on a regular basis can work out great...The key is that both parties have someone else in their lives.Everyone needs to feel that they have someone permenent in their life.Everyone also needs a little excitement .The important thing is that friends know their place in the big picture. JB

  19. #19
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    Default Re:SEX

    I certainly believe it is possible. It all depends upon the reason they decided to consumate the action for- experimental?
    They might just decide they didn't enjoy it and choose to remain friends.

  20. #20
    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re:SEX

    BTDT...doesn't work. One person's feelings always get involved (usually the woman's). But, in my case it was HE who wanted more and not me...LOL.

    Anyways...it always seems that it changes the relationship/friendship to one that is not as pleasant.

    Sometimes the sexual tension is best...sometimes just having that attraction for each other which neither acts upon is a wonderful thing!! Ride it out for a while and see where it goes. Is either of you on the rebound from another relationship? Just a thought.

  21. #21
    Featured Member Juliette_deSade's Avatar
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    Default Re:SEX

    I have been in different scenarios with friendship sex. Friendship is the best basis for a LTR. Most important thing, really is not to just LOVE a person but LIKE them as well.

    I had sex with someone when I was much younger. Six years later I ran into him at #s, a nightclub that we were practically raised in. He is a GREEAT platonic friend now. I will never sleep with him again.

    Another guy and I were fuck buddies from the beginning. We meet and talk about our souls and stuff in between relationships . We laugh and let our hearts heal and have a satisfying hour together. We will ALWAYS be friends.

    One relationship soured with physical activity. We were not compatible people sexually. That is that. We talk on the phone from time to time-we realize how much better off we are without eachother. We are comfortable with this.

    And now it is this: the one I fall for hopelessly as Melonie countered. The worst part is, since we were ALWAYS friends I can confidently name a zillion reasons why we would work very well together. An orgasm every time is just one.

    That said, I chose "depends". Juxtapositions.......ahhhhhh.
    JDS
    The Texas Pin-up Stripteuse!

  22. #22
    Featured Member Juliette_deSade's Avatar
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    Default Re:SEX

    I like PJs points
    The Texas Pin-up Stripteuse!

  23. #23

    Default Re:Oh boy....

    I went through this, this past summer. Very good drinking/ATA Trap shooting buddy of mine wanted to 'go there' this summer. Very tempting as he is a hottie. The vibes were there 5 years ago when we hung out before he went back to school in Purdue. I missed him terribly for those years we didn't see eachother. This year, he looked even better (hotter) than he did the last time I seen him - ugh! And we discussed it and oh how frustrated (sexually) I was and later (almost a wk later) ended up with a loser that I ended up dumping for good about 4 months later. But back on the shooting buddy - the vibes were there and you could feel the electricity. We talked about it, we both thought about it on our own, entertained the idea (though we had 4 days to complete the act). It was good to know he was attracted to me and always had been, and I wanted to go there with him that first year we met and hung out. I let him know I was attracted to him as well - even back in the day. . But when it came down to it I told him we couldn't - not if we were to remain friends. He swore we could still be friends. After that I thought about it some more - caused a sleepless night - and I decided then that we couldn't and that I would much rather pine and wish that I had but still have him as a friend, than to go ahead and do it, regret it later, and lose him over something that got weird/out of hand. I told him that and he was flattered. Course, that same day that was the evening to the last day of the championship shoot we were at where we could have had that last chance to get after it, I seen him talking on his cell phone - and you gals all know what I'm talking about - guys have a certain stance when they are on the phone talking to one of the opposite sex. He had that stance and walk.....and I knew then....and also knew I had made the right choice. He made me a little angry with him that he pulled that on me - getting me all hot and bothered like he did and not telling me about the maybe gf, but I felt I was a better friend to him than had I taken advantage of him and vice versa. Bottom line - even though I voted 'depends' I thought about this incident and decided "No" would be much more appropriate. . Good luck!

  24. #24
    Featured Member ami's Avatar
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    Default Re:SEX

    Quote Originally Posted by GoldCoastGirl link=board=1;threadid=6246;start=msg68524#msg68524 date=1075431071
    ...Plutonic... well.. it isn't plutonic anymore if you have sex with your friend...
    true. but after some time, and not talking about it perhaps. you could be friends. but you both have to be VERY mature, and respect the agreement and each other.

    Quote Originally Posted by GoldCoastGirl link=board=1;threadid=6246;start=msg68524#msg68524 date=1075431071
    ...If, OTOH, you just want to have sex every so often together ... hence "fuck buddies"... that is different. That can work however it takes maturity for this type of friendship to work....
    fuck buddies are great. i agree with the maturity thing.

    but everyone is diffrent... now for a story (sorry for so many personal stories in my posts, but i love sharing. stop reading now if this kind of thing bores you)
    a long time ago, i was dating this boy. we were both quite young. about 16 or so. as teenagers often do we had sex. later he broke up with me, but we contiuned to be fuck buddies. and good friends. eventually we graduated and moved away, but we kept in contact, writing and talking. not every day, sometimes not for months at a time. we also remained good friends even best friends. and even contined the fuck buddy part whenever we were both free to do so. then one day he called me, as he had been doing at that point. and he asked me to marry him. that was almost a year ago. and we have been married 5 months now. we have a 7 year history, and there is lots of love, trust, and respect between us.
    k: k: k:

  25. #25
    Veteran Member Topaz's Avatar
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    Default Re:SEX

    my take on 'fuck buddies'...it's the worst thing one could ever get caught up in when it conserns one's emotional well being...aside from the fact that i think the term is an oximoron...

    i will never have a 'fuck buddy'...does that make me immature (or childish)...i think not...

    Why do some people still have to fight...to get the same opportunities...that are given to others??...

    Look out for self...because noone else will...AND
    The greatest revenge in the world...is success...

    Reclusivness...is a good thing.

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