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Thread: Should I ask for Money?

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    Default Should I ask for Money?

    I have been working in an upscale stage dance club for a little over a month. I really enjoy the stage dancing and the conversation with the customers, I truly do. What I am running into is that I will put time and effort into people who then dont tip me for my time. I am not pushy, some girls will ask directly for money or hold out their leg after they finish dancing or talking. I walk around after and say thank you with a hand on their shoulder, I make OK money, but I know there is a tremendous potential I am missing out on. I love talking with people, answering their questiosn, talking about sex, or politics, trucks, music, etc, I will give someone my undivided attention for 5-20 min and often do not get tipped for it. I also have the problem of many people asking to buy me a drink, I sit and talk and get no tip. We do not get a % of drink sales. People compliment me on everything from, outfits, body, mind, smile, conversation, uniqueness, but I am not making money off this. customers or dancers please let me know how to work with this. I am not a Money making Machine, I care about the human interaction and people's feelings (without being a push over). I will give the guy who tipped me $1 and wants to talk my time, as well as the $50 tipper although I will spend more time with him. Although this leads to another issue, the $50 tipper often then moves down to $20 the next time and will expect me to sit with him soon after he comes in and I miss other customers and I only get $20. It ends up not being worth it sometimes.
    The other night I got buzzed and actually asked for tips from guys who don't often tip me, but whom I talk with frequently, 3 guys gave me $20 and the others, who never even get their money out tipped me too. So that makes me wonder if I should be pushy, how do I let people know I expect to be paid for my time and conversation, I enjoy it yes, but I am working.

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    Default Re:Should I ask for Money?

    yeah, If a girl wants to sit with me and I am not interested in a dance, I will let her know, and at least offer to buy her a drink for her time..... if she moves on, i am not offended, she has to make a living after all.

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    Default Re:Should I ask for Money?

    I think you are being too nice and spoiling your customers. They love to just talk and talk with pretty girl, they'll talk your ear off all night and not give you a dime if you let them. Key words being 'if you let them.' I think it depends on where you are, but most of the time 'well it was nice chatting, now pay me for it' is not going to go over well, no matter how nicely you phrase it. When you first sit with a guy, make chit-chat for no more than 2 songs before you offer a dance. If he says no, tell him maybe later, smile, move along. If he says yes, do it, and offer him the next song right away. From there you can gage from his response whether you should leave right away or not. Any type of no, thank him, smile, and move along. If he says 'let's take a break', no more than 3 songs later you offer again. And so it goes all night. If a guy wants a 20 minute break between dances, he can have it---while you do a couple dances for someone else.

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    Default Re:Should I ask for Money?

    Yeah, some guys don't 'get' that a Dancer isn't doing the job for kicks alone. Do your thing and move on if he drags his feet. If he wants you later, he knows where to find you.

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    Default Re:Should I ask for Money?

    The provider instinct is strong in guys.Being pushy is ok as long as you pout and look up to us but seriously if they dont ask for a dance within the first five or ten minutes then you should politely move on,maybe they will see you dancing for someone else and get the message.Or maybe they're just bums there for a free show....

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    Default Re:Should I ask for Money?

    By all means ask but do it as politely as you can. Explain to the customers that you're trying to earn a living and can't afford to spend time with them unless they're willing to tip. Frankly I find it amazing that anyone who hangs out in a strip club doesn't know that already. I always tell a girl that I plan to tip her well or buy some private dances (when there are some to buy) almost as soon as she sits down. That way she's much more at ease and we have more fun together. You might suggest that to your customers.
    Friends Of Naked Dancing Ladies (FONDL)

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    Featured Member Lilith's Avatar
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    Default Re:Should I ask for Money?

    I've mentioned elsewhere that my strategy is to sit for no more than two songs and then announce that it is time for me to either receive pay for further entertainments offered or time to move on back to work. I usually get tipped for conversastion at least.

    It's not the asking that's potentially offensive, but how you phrase it. Talking for ten minutes and then telling a guy to pay you for that time feels, to him, like a scam. It's the same as just plopping down onto a man's lap and starting a dance without asking, yet expecting payment when the song ends. But if you prove that you are fun then you will often find that the customer will pay you for time OVER that first ten minutes.
    He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

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    Default Re:Should I ask for Money?

    This is basically the same thing others are saying.

    After an appropriate time (one or two songs maybe) put on that cute but disappointed look and say "Damn, is been sooo nice talking to you. I wish I could stay..its been fun but I have to make some money." Hesitate for a moment to let it sink in. Dont make a move to get up or he will think youve made up your mind to leave. I think a lot of guys at that point will either spring with a decent tip or hopefully ask for a dance. If he doesnt do either a) hes a cheap ass just trying to mooch some free time or b) he wasnt all that interested but didnt have a problem with you hanging out as long as it didnt cost him anything. If he offers you a drink as an inducement politely decline and head off. Thats a major indicator that hes not spending. Anyone with an ounce of brains knows the most you would make off a drink is a couple bucks.

    When I first started clubbing I really didnt know what to do. I was actually kind of shy about asking for a dance. I had a dancer do what I described above and it worked for her. I wound up getting several dances from her...I was enjoying her time and didnt want her to leave.

    Give it a try.

    FBR

    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

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    Default Re:Should I ask for Money?

    i dont really bother because from what i have expierenced is.. they are really there to get dances, sure they like the chat bu thats only to attract business.. best bet is to make sure they know time is money.. and within 1-2 songs.. if they arent willing to either tip or give a dance move on..

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    Featured Member Chili Palmer's Avatar
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    Default Re:Should I ask for Money?

    Did the guy ask you to sit with him, or is it just part of your "technique" to try and get lapdances?

    If a dancer came up and sat down next to me and started a conversation, hey, knock yourself out, I can talk on just about any subject but that's not what I'm there for nor will I even consider dancing with you if you had the audacity to hit me for some cash for your "time."

    Frankly, I don't understand the type of customer (we call them f*ckos) who suck up excessive dancer bandwidth without buying any dances, but they do exist. If you happen to generate a customer like that, my advice would be to chat them the first time to establish a rapport with him and make sure the next time he comes in (and will be sooner, not later for this type of customer), you establish some $$$ ground rules. Those types will either be more than willing to pay you to do nothing but look interested in their foibles, and if they're not, then move on down the aisle, cuz you ain't never gettin' nuthin' from them.

    Chili ('Wanna dance?' works just fine with me when I actually want a dance) Palmer

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    Default Re:Should I ask for Money?

    I might try the "loved talking to you, but I've gotta go and make money now" idea. the thing tonight was we got several guys who didn't know anything, they didn't know there WERE private dances to be had, they didn't know that lapdances were a lot cheaper, etc. I was the only girl who bothered talking to them for more than 30 seconds and explained things and they got a few dances.
    I am pretty bad when it comes to small talk altogether, had a few customers who were talkative and that helped, but I fell back on the weather for crying out loud!
    "I still have my name
    I still have my face
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    Doesn't seem so long
    If I now embrace
    Every single thing I've never known"

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    Default Re:Should I ask for Money?

    Luna seems like a good chick.

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    Default Re:Should I ask for Money?

    I try to remember that my time is not free. And even though, sometimes there are customers that are interesting or funny or whatever, I still keep in my head that I am not there to meet new friends. I limit it to 1-2 songs max. Then I kindly explain that we cant be sitting talking to customers without some kind of payment, per house rules. In some places its true and others its not. Good Luck.


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    Veteran Member bibacle's Avatar
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    Default Re:Should I ask for Money?

    It seems to me that club dancing is somewhat like being a lawyer. You bill for your time providing the service. Any "non-billable" hours need to be spent being a rainmaker....getting new clients or calling upon current clients for additional work ...is somewhat akin to dancing with "regulars".

    Any of your time spent chatting without making a sale is affecting your income. You aren't a patron at a bar, you work at one. It has nothing to do with being NICE. My lawyer is a very, very nice guy (but I still get billed for his time, even if we just chatted).

    "Those who dance, are considered crazy by those who can't hear the music."--George Carlin

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    Default Re:Should I ask for Money?

    Thanks for the input. We dont give dances at my club, it is all stage dance and talking/drinking. I most recently have tried waiting to sit with anyone till after my stage dance and tips, then if anyone tipped well, I go sit with them. Strangely I have a a few regulars, who come in expressly to see me who are wealthy, yet only tip a few singles, I enjoy seeing them and I know they made the trip in to see me, but I really dont sit with them long b/c others tip better. I'm slowly figuring it out and I suppose it is something that grows, and customers see I am busy with bigger tippers, they might start to understand my time is free.

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    Default Re:Should I ask for Money?

    I never ask a girl to sit unless I'm going to get dances from her. However, like chili said earlier, if a girl sits down without me asking her to, then I don't feel obligated to tip her for just convo. And I mean a girl just sitting down, no questions asked. Even if a girl just asks me if I
    "want some company"?, if I know I'm not going to ask her for a dance, i'll say "No thanks, i'm fine right now".
    "I need more cowbell"!

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