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Thread: Staying motivated to ask for dances

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    Default Staying motivated to ask for dances

    I find that many times I do not get motivated enough at work to go around asking men for lap dances. This is my fourth month into dancing, and I still feel like I haven't progressed much in that area. I love being up on stage, and feel like I excel fine in that area, but when it comes down to asking a guy for a lap dance after talking with him for a few minutes, I skip it. I feel like that horrible girl all the other dancers hate because I give men my time for free. Most of the time, I get by on stage tips and when men come up to me and say they want a dance. Does anyone have any tips on motivating myself to do this, or overcoming my weakness? The dancers in my club say that because I'm still a new dancer, I will eventually get used to asking, but I would like to make more money now.

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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re:Staying motivated to ask for dances

    First, the hustler girls don't hate the girls that give it up for free. You are not our competition and you will be firmly planted on your ass when the money guy comes in....so, as a girl that's highly motivated, I thank you!

    Really....is it really motivation or is it fear of rejection? Understand this first before trying to solve the problem. If it's really motivation, then set a quota for yourself and reward yourself if you meet it. That works for me. I reward myself with nights off. My quota is a weekly thing, but I break it up by night, and by hour, and that's approxiamately 4 dances an hour.

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    Default Re:Staying motivated to ask for dances

    One way I stay motivated is to set a quota for myself a night of the money that I need to put away and then after I reach that, the rest of the money I make I'm allowed to spend on myself. Its amazing how hard I worked when I wanted a new leather coat with the matching purse

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    Default Re:Staying motivated to ask for dances

    instead of setting a dance quota ( which i do also) set an "ask for a dance quota" force yourself to do it!!! You will be patting yourself on the back when u realize how much more money you will be making as a result. Believe it or not, guys are very intimidated by us. If they say no...then to hell with him and move on to the next one.

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    Default Re:Staying motivated to ask for dances

    Bambiblue makes a very true and forgotten point.." guys are intimidated by us"..i have had guys tell me they are glad i asked because they thought i'd say NO, despite the fact i am AT WORK! lol But just remember they are there to be entertained, why let them leave without giving them the whole experience (stage, talk and LAP!)

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    Default Re:Staying motivated to ask for dances

    Quote Originally Posted by bambiblue link=board=9;threadid=6361;start=msg69879#msg69879 date=1075856910
    Believe it or not, guys are very intimidated by us.
    Quote Originally Posted by winter2003 link=board=9;threadid=6361;start=msg70512#msg70512 date=1076014288
    Bambiblue makes a very true and forgotten point.." guys are intimidated by us"..i have had guys tell me they are glad i asked because they thought i'd say NO, despite the fact i am AT WORK! lol
    Yes, this is true! I've had dancers tell me 'no' though. One was sick and about to go home, another had just finished her shift and was in street clothes (she looked so hot I figured she was in her "work" clothes still) Doh! Felt like an idiot. All I can say is approaching a dancer for a dance still feels a little like approaching a woman at a bar for her number; just with higher odds.
    Quote Originally Posted by _Avery_ View Post
    omg, why is it so huge?!! lol lol

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    Featured Member NikkiD's Avatar
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    Default Re:Staying motivated to ask for dances

    I agree with the quota/reward idea. I push myself to get 4-6 dances an hour (depending on which day of the week it is) and I also pat myself on the back on a goodnight and take extra days off.
    It is hard to find the motivation, but I actually do not see it as rejection necessarily, when they turn me down. Because, even though its nice to get the cash from a customer, do I really care if he likes me or not?
    If its not one customer, theres always another.
    Good Luck.


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    Default Re:Staying motivated to ask for dances

    Is all that sweet, sweet cash not motivation enough?

    You are still new to this. I bet when you have one really good night you'll go home, count it over and over, smell it, roll around in it, --you'll get the money lust. When I was new I was perfectly happy to go home with a hundred or two. That was a lot of money to me. Then one night, it was a fluke, but I made way more than I was used to. Things were never the same again! Once you get an idea of how much you can make if you put your mind to it, you will strive to get that every night. You'll see!!

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    Default Re:Staying motivated to ask for dances

    I call home. Talk to my friends. I have great friends who cheer me up. Or I cheer them up. Gets my mind off of work.
    I remind myself of the person I am, and that is someone with a strong work ethic. Mind over ANYTHINg, not just matter. Half of the sluggishness and boredom you feel is in your head.

    JDS
    The Texas Pin-up Stripteuse!

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    Default Re:Staying motivated to ask for dances

    I agree with Juliette... it is a mind thing.

    You could try the "Rituals/Positive Affirmations/Whatever" thread @
    http://www.stripperweb.com/forum/ind...;threadid=4155



    enter: E3167322D9 for your 10% discount

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    Default Re:Staying motivated to ask for dances

    Quote Originally Posted by bambiblue link=board=9;threadid=6361;start=msg69879#msg69879 date=1075856910
    instead of setting a dance quota ( which i do also) set an "ask for a dance quota" force yourself to do it!!! You will be patting yourself on the back when u realize how much more money you will be making as a result. Believe it or not, guys are very intimidated by us. If they say no...then to hell with him and move on to the next one.
    Well, this advice is kind of a double-edged sword. The best way to learn to swim is to jump into a pool...the "Sink or Swim" method can be quite effective. You also don't wan to turn into a "wanna dance" girl either. The key is quality, not quantity. The key to really making money is to be as effective as you can when asking your customers for dances so as to maximize your time at work. You'll do a lot better becomming more effective working with 20 guys through a shift as opposed to asking 150 guys, "wanna dance?". That being said, you do need to jump into the shark-infested waters a bit though. The best way to overcome fear is to tackle it head-on. Just like working with any challenge in life, the more you do it, the easier it becomes.

    The ORIGINAL Stripper Sales School
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    Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle. ~Abraham Lincoln

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    Veteran Member darkness's Avatar
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    Default Re:Staying motivated to ask for dances

    think about the skirt you want to buy at marshall fields,that will keep you motavated

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    Default Re:Staying motivated to ask for dances

    I'm going to be straight up with you, so don't take this personally, but why are you dancing if you are unwilling to make the effort to make maximum dollars?

    Many girls new to this business are lured in by big money and think that the stage is the most important part of this job.

    You are not really a dancer Icechic. You are a salesperson. No one is going to come to you. You have to go to them. You are no different than a car salesperson. This job is all about selling dances and your job is to go from table to table, introduce yourself to the guys, get their names, find out about them, make idle conversation and then after a few songs ask them for dances and try to sell as many as you can to each guy. And you must approach everyone no matter what they look like and be friendly.

    You have to master selling skills and probably a program like Dancer wealth teaches would be in your best interest.

    Guys are not going to come to you. You have to go to them. It will be a constant push, and there will be some rejection and some acceptance.

    if you are going to show up to the club and not give selling every guy in there dances a 100% effort, maybe you should rethink if any job in sales is right for you.

    If you stay focused, I am sure you can work the floor as you should.

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    Default Re:Staying motivated to ask for dances

    Thank you for all your comments! I have been pushing myself more, and it is becoming more and more natural and easier for me to ask guys if they want a lap dance. At the beginning of the night I tell myself I'm going to ask a certain number of guys for a lap dance, and it has been working. So thank you again.

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    Default Re:Staying motivated to ask for dances

    Icechic,
    You might find that different moods work for you on different days (sometimes a more carefree feeling will put you into a relaxed money-making move, and other times you'll work best by being fired up). One thing that helps me sometimes is paying off a large bill, as it motivated me to "re-stock," so to speak. I find I'm less likely to have a chill day then...

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    Default Re:Staying motivated to ask for dances

    "I'm going to be straight up with you, so don't take this personally, but why are you dancing if you are unwilling to make the effort to make maximum dollars?" -Tina

    A note on Tina's comment: I am dancing even though I'm not there for the money. There are as many reasons for dancing as there are dancing styles. I dance because I love it! Because I love people to see people feel good. I love to spend time with people and get to know people. It's cool that I get to do it for free. If I make a ton of money AWESOME! I do tend to make better tips than alot of the girls at work because my not doing it for the money shows in my attitude which makes guys want me to dance for them. I am also still good at sales. I've been in sales over the last 7 years off and on. I do agree with all your other points, Tina. Great advice!

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    Default Re:Staying motivated to ask for dances

    You should never be afraid to ask for a dance or even for them to give you money. That's what they came there to do...to go home broke! They know it...and seems like we all forget that too!

    The ladies are right setting a goal is great. That really does work! When I work weekdays/weeknights I do not ask for dances. There are only a few girls on so I figure while I'm doing my thing I get the chance to reach every guy and my job is to make him want me. If he's not getting a dance maybe I wasn't his type...that's fine. But I make sure I do my job. On the weekends I hustle...but I still have mostly the same attitude.

    Remember if you were meant to make money you will...no matter how busy/slow it is. Just stay positive!

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    Default Re: Staying motivated to ask for dances

    I have to disagree a teensy tiny bit about it being *just* a mind-thing. It's not just all about selling dances. We have to remember that once we sell a dance, we have to perform that dance, and I think that has a lot to do with our motivation to sell dances. I know that for me, when someone asks me to do a dance I happily oblige, but when I'm forced to ask if someone wants a dance, it's more difficult because I don't necessarily want to do a lapdance anyway.

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    Default Re: Staying motivated to ask for dances

    Is money not enough of a motivator?

    If it's not, find other work.




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    Default Re: Staying motivated to ask for dances

    I don't know. Money is a motivator, but I don't want to ask guys if they don't seem interested. I'm still learning how to gauge/read my targets. I like to do dances for guys who get more than one, and who don't try to touch me the whole time. It takes a lot of energy to fight that off while still maintaining a flirtatious vibe (and getting the successive dances after the first). I'm picky sometimes about my customers because it's such an intimate ordeal.

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