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    Senior Member zoey's Avatar
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    Default how to get a man

    i ... need... help! there is a very cute guy that works at the bar here in town and i very much like him!(ryan and me are having to many problems right now so i doubt things will last)any ways i need advise onhow to "win him over" please help, i have tryed and have faild so help me girls you all do this every day!
    thanks
    danielle

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    Banned Madcap's Avatar
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    Default Re:how to get a man

    Bat the eyes...

    Okay, nevermind.

    I have no clue how to get a man to like you. Men are pretty dumb, though, when if comes to women. All but myself, of course.

  3. #3
    Veteran Member SaraNLA's Avatar
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    Default Re:how to get a man

    Hey, you can't 'win somebody over' who's not interested. But take a girl friend with you. Let her observe if he's interested or not. A friend of mine went with me to a bar recently and when I left to use the ladies' room said to the very cute bartender, "you like her don't you." He just smiled. A couple weeks later we went back and I just sat at the bar and kept smiling at him. It turned out to be a fun night. If you're just out to have fun - do just that! Flirt away, who cares! If you're interested in him as a serious relationship possibility, I don't know .... better to meet someone outside of a bar situation, I think.
    Let your indulgence set me free. - Shakespeare

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    Veteran Member bloodydewdrop's Avatar
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    Default Re:how to get a man

    just as Sara said, there is no way to "win" a man. however, if there is an initial interest on his part, there are ways to help things along...

    1. Show interest in him, but don't appear clingy. Be receptive and welcoming.

    2. Radiate confidence, in yourself, and your situation (without looking cocky).

    3. Be at ease around him, and make him feel comfortable. He should feel it's "fun" to be around you.

    4. Don't appear needy or desperate! This is a turn off for most men. Again, be receptive, but overly so, especially for the first few encounters.

    5. Do not talk about ex/semi-ex boyfriends in his presence....if he brings it up, answer truthfully, but don't go into sordid details. The same goes for other life traumas. Pity/sympathy are not good foundations for any relationship.

    6. Always look your best around him. SMILE, smile, smile.

    7. Mirror his body language subtley (sp?).

    These are only some tactics. Is this just an attraction on your part, or do you already know something about his personality? Both are important. I'm sorry things are going rough with Ryan...but I'm just saying, think before you leap.

    Good Luck,
    ~B Dewdrop

  5. #5
    Veteran Member bloodydewdrop's Avatar
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    Default Re:how to get a man

    oops...quick correction.

    on #4 it should be " *NOT* overly so"

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    Default Re:how to get a man

    Personally i don't think that you should be even thinking about trying to win another man over untill you have sorted out your problems with your current boy-friend.

    Seraya.


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    Veteran Member Lurker_001's Avatar
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    Default Re:how to get a man

    Zoey! ...Hi You talked in Chat last night about this,did you decide to go to the bar and hang out?You were still loged on chat for a while and never said anything so i figured you went out.Did you talk to him?Whatever happened,good luck and i hope you can win him over somehow.Dont ask me how to though,heh.

  8. #8
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    Default Re:how to get a man

    This is an interesting question. As a guy I've always viewed it as having to "win over" a girl to me. And I suspect that I am not quickly
    liked by women, but they do seem to like me after they know me and see some of my good qualities.

    I never thought about it too much but this question is making me think. It is quite true that if I'm on a train or at the airport, or even going to the store I tend to be "mission oriented." That means that running into a women and falling madly in love with her is not usually on my mind. I'm usually in a hurry, pressed for time, and thinking about alot of other things I have to do or think about.

    Thus even if a woman finds me attractive, I may be screening her out.
    She could be the m ost attractive wonderful woman in the world, but if I'm not in the "girl market" I'm probably not paying attention.

    Finding someone takes alot of time, alot of effort, a fair degree of planning and from a guys perspective a commitment of money and/or other resources.

    So just like a PL who "targets" you as a dancer and thats not really what you want or have in mind, the same is true on our side. Just because you target us does not mean that you are what we have in mind.

    To put it in a club scenario, I am there for ATF or up here for a favorite.
    There is a friend of ATF who knows I am safe, tip well, and s "targeted" me. There is another dancer who ATF and her do not get along at all
    which is unusual because ATF tends to cruise above, around, or
    invisible to dancer politics as irrelevant to her. (Had to stop ATF from pouring champaign on the head of "enemy" dancer from the VIP room once as "enemy" dancer was doing a stage set. I have never seen her try to do that before to anyone.)

    At any rate I have decided that "friend" dancer is crude, obnoxious, of low intelligence, with nothing in common with me. She may be sucessful with every other guy in the club but will never have a chance with me as long as ATF is around. At times she will come in the VIP room univited on a bad night and stay twenty to half an hour. Finally had to tell her to beat it after about five of these episodes.

    This is what makes men women relationships so interesting, and so frustrating. Sometimes at the same time. I guess the premise here could be condensed to, "Sometimes attraction is not mutual."

    Sometimes it can be developed over time. Good luck.

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    Veteran Member Deanna's Avatar
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    Default Re:how to get a man

    i agree with Seraya... I didn't get involved with any of the bash postings for a couple reasons.. one of which i am new here and well two I have enough of my own drama but now ..... well.. Zoey, everything that you have been going through the last few weeks ( not going to bring it all up but you HAVE to know what I am talking about) this is NOT the time to start another relationship!!!!!! I firmly believe that you either need to work out your problems with or without Ryan BEFORE you get into or even think about another relationship... you can not make someone else happy unless you are happy with yourself FIRST!!!!


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    God/dess Lexi's Avatar
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    Default Re:how to get a man

    I'd say, wait till its over with Ryan. It may be a small argument that you two are having, and things may get better. All couples fight.
    But you dont want a scenario where in which you possibly win over the dude from the bar, and then things with ryan get fixed. Then you will have two guys fighting over you. Although that sounds all cute like in the movies, its not cool. Then you may end up alone)
    So wait to see what happens with ryan, and then if its over, just be cool with th guy from the bar. Just act comfortable, talk about interests, but dont be overwhelming.
    Good luck

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    God/dess RoseDelight's Avatar
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    Default Re:how to get a man

    Rebound relationships aren't that much fun, and normally don't last longer than just a few minutes, or even seconds.

    But to win a man over? Hmmm...Well, How did you win your bf over now? I say do the same thing you did before. 50/50 chances of it working.


    --Georg Christoph Litchenberg



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    Banned Blade's Avatar
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    Default Re:how to get a man

    How to go out and win yourself a man/woman (or both for some) in several easy to follow steps....
    1. Make sure any old relationships are over and finished(it sucks to try and start a new relationship only to realize you CAN fix the old relationship with someone you love)

    2.Make sure your head is where it needs to be(anger,resentment,old feelings etc MUST be taken care of before starting a new relationship)

    3. BE YOURSELF!(never try and be what some new person wants you to be or what you THINK they want you to be)

    4. Look for common interests(music, sex,religion,political views etc)

    5.if all else fails resort to either blackmail or kidnapping(may not be legal in all 50 states but when all else fails....j/k step 5 is most likely against the law everywhere so I guess it may be a bad thing...)

  13. #13
    Veteran Member Ferrari's Avatar
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    Default Re:how to get a man

    Wait, don't you live with Ryan???? I wouldn't be cruising guys while I still had a boyfriend, especially one I was living with....

    Like the others mentioned, don't look for someone new until you've dealt with the problems that you have right now...In the end, it will only create a bigger problem for you, and possibly hurt this other guy...
    Like the car, I'm exotic, erotic, and expensive....

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    Veteran Member Rayleen's Avatar
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    Default Re:how to get a man

    Quote Originally Posted by Ferrari link=board=1;threadid=6470;start=msg71402#msg71402 date=1076283180
    Wait, don't you live with Ryan???? I wouldn't be cruising guys while I still had a boyfriend, especially one I was living with....
    and one who has supposedly posted on this site

    I still think we are dealing with a :troll:

    way too much drama in a short period of time. Maybe I'm a cynic-

  15. #15
    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re:how to get a man

    Hey.....just use the bar guy for flirting practice for your upcoming stripper career...its like sport fucking without the fucking......

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

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    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

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    Featured Member bambiblue's Avatar
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    Default Re:how to get a man

    Are you sure you aren't interested in this guy simply because you are having relationship problems? I think that most guys would want you to at least break up with your boyfriend before getting involved otherwise they are going to have a pretty bad outlook on the type of girl you are.

  17. #17
    Senior Member zoey's Avatar
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    Default Re:how to get a man

    no i do not want to be with ryan for the mer fact he has became very annoying, imature,abusive, and just acts dumb most of the tiime, i want to be with some one who is smart, witty, and takes care of them selfs and is not abusive.( words or emotions) plus hes a hottie! and popular with people ( very outgoing) ryan is not alot of people dont like him any more and i hate that cause it also makes me look bad.

  18. #18
    Senior Member zoey's Avatar
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    Default Re:how to get a man

    i will get apic of him tommaro and you guys can see what im talkin about you will metl when you see him!

  19. #19
    Veteran Member bloodydewdrop's Avatar
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    Default Re:how to get a man

    danielle,
    just wanted to throw my opinion in here. a week ago or so, you stated how much you loved Ryan. if he suddenly became abusive during that time, it seems kind of strange (you previously stated that he always treated you wonderfully). what's going on? if he beats you or something, then by all means, get out of the situation! specifically, how is he being abusive?

    also, i don't personally think it's right to hook up with a guy just because of how he'll make you look. that is no solid foundation for a relationship. if he's cute, and you guys work out, and you genuinely care for him, then good for you! but make sure it's for the right reasons.

    it's also important to consider that you can't count on the guy at the bar supporting you straight off. have you two interacted at all?

  20. #20
    Senior Member zoey's Avatar
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    Default Re:how to get a man

    oh no thats not the only reason he has GREAT! personallity. and is great to be around makes a girl feel good to be around you know what i mean?

    but with ryan things have really gone down hill the last couple of days he has been very degrading twords me and dosenot really care about my feeling or saftey like tonight F.E. he wanted me to take him out to a friends house to hang out cause there moving tommaro ( there stupid asses got fired from here cause they partyed to much and didnt show up to work go figure) and i was on my way out there and the wind is blowing very hard! and the roads were driffting shut and i said im not ganna come pick you up theres no way i can make it back out in 3 hours the roads will be drifftend shut ( with the truck it sucks its 2 wheel drive and bald tires no tracton and slides every where) and he like come and pick me up!and i said no you wanted out her you find a way back im not ganna land in the ditch in a snow storm with no cell phone out in the middle of the country! and he still said i needed to come get him well on the way back in a 5 min time span one of the roads was drifted shut for about 25 -30 feet. i was like hell no! thanks god i got threw it ,

    but this is what im talking about im not ganna put up with this shit of not careing for my safty! and the other night he told me i could not leave the house. i made some new friends9 i have no friends in this town mine are all 2 hours away) and he said i couldnt go hang out with them so i had to stay home and look like a ass in front of them.( he was very drunk and was just being a asshole.

    but keith dose not act this way he allways has a smile on his face and never complains and is always in a good mood and even if hes not he dosenot show it very much , and i like that in a guy cause im the same way!

    ryan always has somthing to complain about! not to mention i hate his parents and they hate me! and yes ryan has not hit me but has pushed me and grabed my cheek/jaw like your mom would do. and just emotionly abuses me but like when i get upset he makes fun of me for crying and shit like that you know? i hate that!

    but i dont know what else to say kieth was raised in a all girl family 4 sisters and his mom his dad he has not talked to sents he was 4 ( plus we have alot in common the dad thing) so i think he has respect for women and i know ryan dosnot not because his dad abused his mom and ryan has no sibblings and is spoild rotten. i need a guy that is down to earth! kieth being one!<:smile> cant wait to get his pic up!

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    God/dess Farrah_Holiday's Avatar
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    Default Re:how to get a man

    Quote Originally Posted by bloodydewdrop link=board=1;threadid=6470;start=msg71467#msg71467 date=1076298485
    danielle,
    just wanted to throw my opinion in here. a week ago or so, you stated how much you loved Ryan. if he suddenly became abusive during that time, it seems kind of strange (you previously stated that he always treated you wonderfully). what&#039;s going on? if he beats you or something, then by all means, get out of the situation! specifically, how is he being abusive?

    also, i don&#039;t personally think it&#039;s right to hook up with a guy just because of how he&#039;ll make you look. that is no solid foundation for a relationship. if he&#039;s cute, and you guys work out, and you genuinely care for him, then good for you! but make sure it&#039;s for the right reasons.

    it&#039;s also important to consider that you can&#039;t count on the guy at the bar supporting you straight off. have you two interacted at all?
    I echo this..
    I said I wasn&#039;t going to reply to this post because I thought it was rather silly. You live with this man in his house and now you are trying to get with some one else ?? Where exactly do you plan on living if you two do hook up ?? Have you ever given any thought to the fact that if you focused more on your goals and less on this drama how far ahead you&#039;ll be ??
    In 2002 I was diagnosed with cancer and my weight ballooned from 113 to 186 ! The chemo medicines didn&#039;t help with the weight either, I walked around looking like a damn round pie face. Until one day I said screw this I am going to fight for what matters the most, my life, not what anyone else is doing thinking or feeling.
    I got my supplements, a Taebo dvd and a pilates dvd..two months later I was back to my normal weight. I went back to dancing and back to school to get my second degree.
    To this date I am still battling cancer, but at least I am strong enough to get up everyday and live my life.
    You followed my suggestion and apologized to the board. Now I hope you will also take my suggestion and focus on you and your goals.
    FH
    My new love...is me !

    Even the greatest authority does not, ultimately, know you as you know yourself.
    Jhuka

    When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
    Maya Angelou


  22. #22
    Senior Member zoey's Avatar
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    Default Re:how to get a man

    yes i know my spelling sucks, i didnt spell check i needed to get this off my chest fast sorry

  23. #23
    Senior Member zoey's Avatar
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    Default Re:how to get a man

    i am still foucusing on them starting tommaro im ganna walk a mile ( yesin the freezing cold) and do my arobics tape and start eating well. i got some of my dancer clothes in the mail and so want to fit into them!
    there so cute!
    but i also need to be happy tol. and being alone dose not make me happy.
    my goals
    1.lose my fat
    2. be emotinally stable
    3.dance
    4. have a good b/f that dose not treat me like shit
    5. have my own apt.
    6.own a car

  24. #24
    Banned Madcap's Avatar
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    Default Re:how to get a man

    Microsoft Word. Fix that easily.

  25. #25
    God/dess Farrah_Holiday's Avatar
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    Default Re:how to get a man

    Furthermore..why would Ryan post a thread stating you were ill and we should call you (which I did..remember!) if he didn&#039;t care abut you ??!!

    A person who didn&#039;t care about your safety would never ever do such a thing.
    From his thread about you I truly believe that he loves you..If he didn&#039;t he would&#039;ve never poured his heart out to strangers.
    And like someone said Ryan also comes to this forum..Imagine how hurt he would be if he logged on and read this thread !
    My new love...is me !

    Even the greatest authority does not, ultimately, know you as you know yourself.
    Jhuka

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