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Thread: Was I Out of Line?

  1. #1
    Glamazon
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    Default Was I Out of Line?

    It's my first post here, and I'm glad I have a forum where I can ask these questions. Bear with me.

    I have a few customers that will come to my club and pay me to sit with them, have a meal, some drinks and conversation. Last Friday, I had 2 of them who occupied my whole night.

    I was in the dressing room freshening up and one of my floor hosts tells me that someone is asking for me that had been in there a couple of nights asking for me, and I should say hello. So I went out to the floor, met the guy, asked if he saw my ad (I didn't recognize him; I have an ad with my schedule on a local website), which he didn't, he said he had just seen me at the club. Then I explained that I was with a customer and had another one after him and didn't know how long I was going to be. He said he would wait.

    My first customer excuses me so he can spend time with another girl. Mind you, these are known REGULAR spenders, who treat the girls and staff VERY well, and are also very pleasant individuals. I go to my second customer, who invited me to sit with them and another girl. We have more food, drinks, etc. My manager comes over tells me that that guy is still waiting and to go say something to him. Usually by this time, a man has chosen someone else, and I wasn't trying to be stuck-up, but I wasn't being paid to run to this guy every half hour to check in. I was being paid to entertain my customers. Okay, so I go talk to the guy. He is PISSED. I was very apologetic, offered VIP passes, anything. I told him I didn't know how much longer I would be. He says "That's what you told me 3 hours ago." I apologize again, and explain that on the weekends (it was a Friday, I was busy from 6PM-2AM with my 2 customers) I sometimes get busy early and stay busy. He tells me he's not coming back. I apologize again, and return to my customer.

    Later, I told my manager. He's not mad at me, but the guy had COMPLAINED to him about me not being with him. I know it looked like maybe I was avoiding him, or I don't know what, cause I wasn't doing any dances, I was having a good time. And isn't that how it's supposed to look when we're at work?

    Sorry for the long post and if I lost anyone on this, I know where I stand on this, but would anyone else have done anything different?

    TIA


  2. #2
    Member katrin's Avatar
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    Default Re:Was I Out of Line?

    Hey Glam, I'd be interested in the responses you get. I posted a similar question a few days ago in Hustle Hut with the subject line "jealousy" which has so far garnered 0 response.

    Maybe in your case it could have been better if you could have given the guy who called you over an idea of how long you would take... I don't know it just seems very difficult to figure it all out...

    When I came into work last week a girl came in early to call all her regulars and let them know she was working, and she stayed busy doing private dances when most of the rest of us were trolling the room.

    But a regular gave me his card with the tip while I was dancing, and I think I'm going to do the same. I mean, call him from the club before my next shift (I already gave him an idea when I'll be there). That he'll know I'm thinking about him, that way, he can let me know if they're planning to come see me, and hopefully I can manage my time better.

    And hopefully, then, he'll be ready for me, I'll be ready for him. I won't have to make that uncomfortable choice between two random guys, or go from one to the other, and end up making both feel territorial or jealous.

    hm?

    Kat



  3. #3
    Featured Member polecat's Avatar
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    Default Re:Was I Out of Line?

    Glam! You found this site! Lucky us! WEEEEEE.
    (for those that don't know Glamazon, make her feel welcome! She's one of the premiere dancers in my local area- absolutely beautiful and a super charismatic woman!)

    You did everything RIGHT, which is so refreshing to see. You went to him, you acknowledged him, you told him straight-up what the situation was, and you didn't create ANY false expectations. How can you consider yourself out of line by any stretch of the imagination?

    This guy was a freak in my opinion. THREE HOURS is baffling to me for a guy to stand around waiting for a dancer, especially given the dynamic of the club you are in (which IS where a longer term, hostess role commands the job). And it's not like the guy flipped a grand out or make any other monopolization offers to outbid for your attention either.

    It doesn't matter if you're somebody in this world, it rather matters you mean the whole world to somebody.

  4. #4
    God/dess Lexi's Avatar
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    Default Re:Was I Out of Line?

    Hun I think you did the right thing. Definetely not out of line, hell, you checked up on him, but you were WORKING, not hanging out. So for him to think otherwise is foolish. You are supposed to be with people if they are spending money on you.
    Dont worry about it, I can tell my PC's repsonse that you are a hottie and wont have trouble finding more guys who will wait to spend time (AND money) with you hehe

  5. #5
    Featured Member tragic-beauty's Avatar
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    Default Re:Was I Out of Line?

    well when it comes to a new possible customer i atleast give them a few dances because i know my regulars will wait. but i wont do to many so i dont keep them waiting too long... and honestly.. i believe it is your money... if you choose to not talk to someone shouldnt that be your decision? that would be kindof annoying to have someone nag like that

  6. #6
    Senior Member JimLovesJazz's Avatar
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    Default Re:Was I Out of Line?

    he was the one out of line, no question. He had no right to get angry at you, maybe disappointed that you were busy but pissed, no way.

  7. #7
    God/dess montythegeek's Avatar
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    Default Re:Was I Out of Line?

    I agree with JLJ.
    I would compare this situation to walking into a hairdressers with no appointment and being peeved time 1000 when you are not able to squeeze them in in the middle of providing services to other customers who do have appointments.

  8. #8
    Veteran Member Tia_q's Avatar
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    Default Re:Was I Out of Line?

    Good analogy Monty
    What he said!

  9. #9
    Featured Member NikkiD's Avatar
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    Default Re:Was I Out of Line?

    That is truly an excellent analogy, Monty!! I prefer to keep my regulars happy since they are paying the bills and will most likely continue to do so as long as they are content.
    This guy is an asshole that apparently expects you to drop what you are doing and entertain him. You were honest, he chose to wait, so he should have waited or made arrangments with you on another day. Even if he spent tons of money that time, can you really afford to run to him EVERY time he comes in?


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    Default Re:Was I Out of Line?

    Glam, I think you did everything right. That's why you have loyal regulars.

  11. #11
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    Default Re:Was I Out of Line?

    I would have just given the guy a dance or two, then explained I was busy with another customer. If he'd wanted to make you a better offer, then he could have done it - but if he was pissy like that, he probably wouldn't have been either a good customer or fun to spend time with, so it's probably no loss.

  12. #12
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    Default Re:Was I Out of Line?

    Quote Originally Posted by SW2 link=board=8;threadid=6563;start=msg72942#msg72942 date=1076599687
    Glam, I think you did everything right. That's why you have loyal regulars.
    I agree 100% ..... This guy sounds like a loser imo.

    However i also like susan's idea of maybe excusing yourself when you was with your regular while letting him know the situation ( "there's a guy here who came in specifcally asking to meet me and just wants a dance or two bla bla bla" ) And then after giving the other guy a dance or two explaining to him that you have to go back to the customer ( your regular ) you was with before he came in or made an appointment with.

    Anyway whatever the case i still don't think that you was on in the wrong, what so ever.

    Seraya.


  13. #13
    God/dess Farrah_Holiday's Avatar
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    Default Re:Was I Out of Line?

    These are great responses..
    I think you did the right thing. You simply can't please all of the people all of the time, its impossible.
    My new love...is me !

    Even the greatest authority does not, ultimately, know you as you know yourself.
    Jhuka

    When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
    Maya Angelou


  14. #14
    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re:Was I Out of Line?

    I think that you were just doing what needed to be done. Why waste your time with an "unproven" client? He made no attempt to "draw" you away from your regular. This guy obviously has no respect for the fact that sometimes you need to make an appointment in order to see your ATF. I definitely would have said, "If you come back tomorrow, I start work at 8pm and work until 2am. I will be more than happy to block some time out for you so we can get to know each other better." Then see what he says...sounds like he was just expecting to snap his fingers and see you come running.

    BTW...did you get the impression that he was an "Adonis"? I have found that when a guy is high on himself, or gets a lot of "female" attention, he thinks that when he walks into a SC, we dancers should be falling all over ourselves to pay him while he graces us with his presence. I have yet to see a hot guy pay any decent kind of money to any dancers.

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    God/dess RoseDelight's Avatar
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    Default Re:Was I Out of Line?

    Sounds like you did the right thing.


    --Georg Christoph Litchenberg



  16. #16
    Glamazon
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    Default Re:Was I Out of Line?

    Thanks for the great responses. It's been almost a week and I'm still kind of shaking my head/fuming over the whole thing. My floor hosts said he did finally pick another girl and spend $XXX on her, but that's still less than I make off of just ONE of my regulars that I was with will spend on me in one visit, not counting being very pleasant and fun folks, and also the fact that I genuinely LIKE them. Oh, and he didn't have an "Adonis" complex...I'm not downing someone for his looks, but he was an older, heavy set asian man...maybe it was the money thing for him like "I have lots of money, so she should drop everything for me..." Who knows...maybe he'll be back this weekend to apologize...stranger things have happened!

  17. #17
    Member Miniman's Avatar
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    Default Re:Was I Out of Line?

    My initial reaction is that the dancer should and must always be in control. Set aside what the regular wants or what management thinks, in this line of business I think the ultimate decision making must always rest with the women who put it on the line.

    I am a regular - of at least one club. And I have a regular girl that I see in that regular club. But I don't own her. So even as a regular, I expect periods of time where I will be on my own. There are others with money to spend so why not let them? The problem for the dancer is balancing the "regulars" with the others. My bet is that if you have a good regular, they can accept the fact that from time to time you will not be around.
    I am not a number. I am a free man

  18. #18
    Veteran Member vanilla_dog's Avatar
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    Default Re:Was I Out of Line?

    Did you mention *Asian*? I know I will probably get bashed for this but asian clients can be real assholes. I would definitely mark it up as another reason to not dance in Japan and think no more of it.

    You get what you put up with

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