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Thread: At home should lovers be more seductive?

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    Member parsifal's Avatar
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    Default At home should lovers be more seductive?

    you know where this is going, doncha? dancers, do you act seductive with your lover? or is that bringing work home?

    the reason I ask is that i started wondering how it would be for a lover of mine to me as sexy with me as a lap dancer usually is. it sure would be fun to see. most often if we are in bed my lovers just grab the stick. sound familiar, ladies?

    guys who take their lovers to clubs, does your lover pick up any tricks to try on you?

    and finally, do any of you guys give your lover a reverse lap dance (whatever that would be) to get her in the mood?

    parsifal

  2. #2
    Pamela
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    Default Re:At home should lovers be more seductive?

    Oh yes! I love being seductive. I had a 5 year relationship that had ups and downs, but i always wanted to sleep with him (only him) no matter what. He was great with the touching, and i would just love kissing him slowly and rubbing my hands all over his naked body.

    Then bam....He told me thats all i wanted to do...???

    So i tried to change things, asked to go out and watch a play or eat etc. Nope. He did not want to. Guess i was too passionate (for him) and not enough of anything else. Actually i was pretty much told that by him.

    Thats not my problem. It's healthy to want to be with the one you care for and be sexual.

    Pamela. Not confused about the situation any more. I would be his friend now, but no sex.

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    God/dess Malibu's Avatar
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    Default Re:At home should lovers be more seductive?

    I'll not get into detail, but one thing is that I LOVE to get my boyfriend to give me lapdances! It's such fun seeing him wiggle his cute ass for me and you can tell he obviously enjoys the attention! LOL!
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    Featured Member polecat's Avatar
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    Default Re:At home should lovers be more seductive?

    --> do you act seductive with your lover? or is that bringing work home?

    When I was much younger, I was in a long term relationship with a stripper. Two things seem to be consistent with her and all my current stripper friends-
    1) Dancers seem to give the BEST hugs!
    2) Lots of dancers make the best snugglers for watching movies, lounging or just hanging around on the weekend.

    I think both are directly attributed to what they do well enough to make a career out of- which is comfortable and warm human contact. Simply doing dishes or cleaning up around the house leads to little "lapdances" as she sneaks up from behind with her arms/legs or curls up most anywhere.

    Pamela's response nailed it. Unfortunately, for some guys this tames the animal inside, others it brings out the animal. I guess you could call it being "clingy", which when two "clingers" get together it's wonderful. Someone less clingy with a clinger only leads to unhappiness for both.


    --> i started wondering how it would be for a lover of mine to me as sexy with me as a lap dancer usually is.

    Some women are "wired" like that, others aren't. You wont really know either way unless you also put in the effort to awaken it out of her. When was the last time you booked a 5-star hotel, had a bouqet of roses delivered, obtained a nice champagne, gotten some scented candles, massage oils, aloe skin oil, bubble bath, etc.etc. Even simple things like greeting her out of the shower with fresh-from-the-dryer warmed towels to drape over her? For most women, it doesn't take but a few weeks of treating her like Queen Sheba before she transforms into Queen Sheba, and if not find out why and help. Sometimes it will unveil work stress, life stress, family stress or other issues to help and support with, so it's all win-win.


    -->guys who take their lovers to clubs, does your lover pick up any tricks to try on you?

    You have to be REAL careful here. Taking a woman to a stripclub can be a wonderful thing, or a horrible thing. Even the most staunch heterosexual female can have a lovely time at a stripclub, provided it's in an atmosphere with beautiful, professional dancers. To see beauty and sensuality, witness it's intoxication and empowerment... it can definately awaken some fire in a lot of women. It can also turn some off totally and lead to resentment. So you really need to know your woman, be SURE she feels comfortable and SAFE with you no matter what, and ensure she's okay with the idea and has a clear idea that there are NO expectations from the journey. Your attention should be focused on her the entire time as well.


    -->do any of you guys give your lover a reverse lap dance (whatever that would be) to get her in the mood?

    Heh. Most guys just aren't built or capable of sensual, erotic dance. Just a fact of life... at least in the way you might be thinking. This doesn't mean reverse-dances shouldn't be performed! Just take a different angle.

    The Jim Carey or Chris Farley thing works wonders for one on one. It all depends on your character. A "special" plaid kilt performance of exaggerated comedic detail that leaves her in tears of laughter is quite special. Extra points if she teeths a dollar bill. It's the thought and planning that becomes the turn-on versus the actual performance. It's all about your character, and for most guys, the best chance they have at eroticism is two-way standard dancing (such as house/dance clubs, or if you're older, a classy 40's jazz club is wonderful), but in a one-way form back at home, you're likely better off making it special and lightly humorous.

    It makes great future blackmail too- as threatening to bust out the kilt will usually totally reverse soggy behavior after she's had a rough day at work.
    It doesn't matter if you're somebody in this world, it rather matters you mean the whole world to somebody.

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    Featured Member NikkiD's Avatar
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    Default Re:At home should lovers be more seductive?

    I defininitely dont feel that its bringing my work home with me because Im doing it with the man that I love and that I think is super sexy in our own setting. Im not in the club with some guy, whose name I dont know, hoping that he will tip me with some song that I hate blaring way too loud and people all around.


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    God/dess Lena's Avatar
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    Default Re:At home should lovers be more seductive?

    The feedback I've had from lovers is that I am more touchy and sensual than most people in everyday life (if we're just sitting on the couch, I'll be tracing their skin with my fingers, or something). I'm sometimes selfish about sex and sometimes in an entirely un sexy mood. Other than that I think my sexual habits are pretty normal, tho I like a lot of comminication (I've been known to stop in the middle of sex and ask "what are you thinking right now?").

    Lena



  7. #7
    Sexy
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    Default Re:At home should lovers be more seductive?

    I am similar to Lena... I am a very sensual person who loves physical touch and to make others feel *wonderful*. But I have my ups and downs, good days/times and bad. Some days I don't even want to think sex. Most who know me and how my sexuality/sensuality is are confused by this because they assume sensuality translates into sex.

    I'm very sensual with my husband and we communicate more than any other couple we know. We are very open and love each other deeply. I tend to be very romantic when the mood arises but not as often as I wish I had the energy to do... Also I think having 3 little boys under age 5 makes it difficult to feel sexy at times. That's why dancing is an outlet for me to feel more free to be myself and remind myself I'm more than just mom, wife, maid.

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    Veteran Member Nina's Avatar
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    Default Re:At home should lovers be more seductive?

    Since I am so aggressive at work, initiating conversation, exchange of money, making the limits and enforcing rules, when I am at home I just want somone else to take control. Unfortunately my sweetie is completely passive and it ruins my mood. Ifeel like I'm working all over agin. Like I'm still incharge of his seual pleasure, not like we are doing it together or he is on control of me. He refuses to see it and it's wearing pretty thin at this point. ----anyone else feel the same.
    Sexy, Swarovski Stripper jewelry, OOAK, and DIY clothing


    "Acceptance is right. Kindness is right. Love is right. I pray, right now, that we're moving into a kinder time when prejudice is overcome by understanding; when narrow-mindedness, and narrow-minded bigotry is overwhelmed by open-hearted empathy; when the pain of judgmentalism is replaced by the purity of love"
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    Default Re:At home should lovers be more seductive?

    Ya know, I think that no matter how you slice it, being in the sex industry for any sufficient amount of time is gonna affect your sex life.

    There are some times that I come home from work and the very last thing I want to think about is sex...
    I want the affection, the passion, the touching, feeling, kissing, but on those nights, not the sex..especially if he's in one of those moods where he just "goes for the gold". You know what I mean, I've been dealing with that crap all night.

    I think it confuses my guy because, from his point of view, he is sometimes receiving mixed signals. I mean, I'm kissing him and caressing maybe his tummy..he's thinking "hey, she wants it"...when all I want is the cuddle and what I really need is the intimacy.

    Then again, I do like to keep our sex life interesting. For instance, there are times when I just feel "wild", I'll jump on him starting with a lap dance and get totally aggresive in ways that I probably never would have before becoming an entertainer.

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    Featured Member Juliette_deSade's Avatar
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    Default Re:At home should lovers be more seductive?

    I am not adverse to swankiness at home at all! I love sex, everything about it. I love coming into sync with breathing and body motion. It isn't so much the physical in-out-in-out (although that feels great). It is the feeling that we have enveloped each other. I'll put it this way: if my bedroom door gets shut, we already know what is going to happen and we both get excited. Then again, we have only been going out 6.5 months.......we have had conversations about not "doing it" so much, getting out of the house every once in a while. We are getting better.

    Work is the last thing on my mind.
    The Texas Pin-up Stripteuse!

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