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Thread: Men 101

  1. #1
    Featured Member polecat's Avatar
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    Default Men 101

    Figure the Lounge was the most appropriate for this as I found it absolutely hysterical. I think the women will find it of particular value and appropriateness lol.
    -----------

    TWO YEAR DEGREE: Becoming a Real Man. That's right, in just six mini-mesters, you, too, can be a real man as well as earn an associates degree in MA (Male Arts). Please take a moment to look over the program outline.

    FIRST YEAR

    Autumn Schedule:
    MEN 101 Combating Stupidity
    MEN 102 You, Too, Can Do Housework
    MEN 103 PMS-Learn When to Keep Your Mouth Shut
    MEN 104 We Do Not Want Sleazy Under things for Christmas

    Winter Schedule:
    MEN 110 Wonderful Laundry Techniques
    MEN 111 Understanding the Female Response to Getting in at 2AM
    MEN 112 Parenting: It Doesn't End with Conception
    EAT 100 Get a Life, Learn to Cook
    EAT 101 Get a Life, Learn to Cook II
    ECON 001A What's Hers is Hers

    Spring Schedule:
    MEN 120 How NOT to Act Like a Buttface When You're Wrong
    MEN 121 Understanding Your Incompetence
    MEN 122 YOU, the Weaker Sex
    MEN 123 Reasons to Give Flowers
    ECON 001C What Was Yours is Hers

    SECOND YEAR

    Autumn Schedule:
    SEX 101 You CAN Fall Asleep without It
    SEX 102 Morning Dilemma: If It's Awake, Take a Shower
    SEX 103 ! ; How to Stay Awake After Sex
    MEN 201 How to Put the Toilet Seat Down


    Elective (See Electives Below)

    Winter Schedule:
    MEN 210 The Remote Control: Overcoming Your Dependency
    MEN 211 How to Not Act Younger than Your Children
    MEN 212 You, Too, Can Be a Designated Driver
    MEN 213 Honest, You Don't Look Like Tom Cruise
    MEN 230A Her Birthdays and Anniversaries Are Important

    Spring Schedule:
    MEN 220 Omitting %&*! from Your Vocabulary (Pass/Fail Only)
    MEN 221 Fluffing the Blanket After Farting Is Not Necessary
    MEN 222 Real Men Ask for Directions
    MEN 223 Thirty Minutes of Begging is NOT Considered Foreplay
    MEN 230B Her Birthdays and Anniversaries Are Important 2

    Course Electives:
    EAT 101 Cooking with Tofu
    EAT 102 Utilization of Eating Utensils
    EAT 103 Burping and Belching Discreetly
    MEN 231 Mothers-in-law
    MEN 232 Appear to Be Listening
    MEN 233 Just Say "Yes, Dear"
    ECON 001C Cheaper to Keep Her
    It doesn't matter if you're somebody in this world, it rather matters you mean the whole world to somebody.

  2. #2
    Featured Member CrescentLuna's Avatar
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    Default Re:Men 101

    -We Do Not Want Sleazy Under things for Christmas -

    But I like getting those for Christmas! My ex and I had a ritual of only giving under things for birthday [because it was 2 weeks before christmas] it was fun. now, though, since I have more sleazy under things than God I might get a little tired of it... but it would save me actually buying them. Hee.
    "I still have my name
    I still have my face
    I have not run away from home
    Doesn't seem so long
    If I now embrace
    Every single thing I've never known"

  3. #3
    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re:Men 101

    Holy shite...that is funny...a little demeaning to men, but funny!!

  4. #4
    Veteran Member carmenNYC's Avatar
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    Default Re:Men 101



    that's great. now where's the one about women?

  5. #5
    Pamela
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    Default Re:Men 101

    LOl!

    Men 121: Understand "your" incompetence...! YEA.

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    Banned Blade's Avatar
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    Default Re:Men 101

    As a graduate of this course I can tell you it fucking(oops) works!I can now remmeber our anniversary,and her birthday and I no longer say fuck in every fucking sentence(fuck I did it again).
    I'm currently enrolled in their doctorate program and you need to do a severe internship as a sc dj to better understand women in their enviroment.so eventually you can call me Dr. Blade(doctor of manology)

  7. #7
    God/dess Farrah_Holiday's Avatar
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    Default Re:Men 101

    wow...this is too funny !! lol..lol
    My new love...is me !

    Even the greatest authority does not, ultimately, know you as you know yourself.
    Jhuka

    When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
    Maya Angelou


  8. #8
    Featured Member Juliette_deSade's Avatar
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    Default Re:Men 101

    Add courses:

    Foot massage for the new millenium
    Surviving chick flicks
    Cunnulingus and you
    Shopping rules!! (deconditioning)
    Sex euphemism
    How to be a feminist when you have a dick
    Fight those femenazis!
    The Texas Pin-up Stripteuse!

  9. #9
    Veteran Member shedevil4260's Avatar
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    Default Re:Men 101

    Quote Originally Posted by Juliette_deSade link=board=1;threadid=6799;start=msg76214#msg76214 date=1077391956
    Add courses:

    Foot massage for the new millenium
    Surviving chick flicks
    Cunnulingus and you
    Shopping rules!! (deconditioning)
    Sex euphemism
    How to be a feminist when you have a dick
    Fight those femenazis!
    I totally agree JDS!!!
    I think we need a woman course now
    Lips, Hips, and Sugary Tits

  10. #10
    God/dess DancerWealth's Avatar
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    Default Re:Men 101

    Quote Originally Posted by polecat link=board=1;threadid=6799;start=msg76126#msg76126 date=1077356530
    MEN 104 We Do Not Want Sleazy Under things for Christmas
    You obviously don't know my wife.

    The ORIGINAL Stripper Sales School
    -
    Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle. ~Abraham Lincoln

  11. #11
    God/dess montythegeek's Avatar
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    Default Re:Men 101

    D.W. Maybe YOU don't. LOL
    She may be a good actress. Are you Positive all those orgasms were real? LMFAO

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    Banned Blade's Avatar
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    Default Re:Men 101

    Quote Originally Posted by Juliette_deSade link=board=1;threadid=6799;start=msg76214#msg76214 date=1077391956
    Add courses:

    Cunnulingus and you
    Shopping rules!! (deconditioning)
    Sex euphemism
    I passed the cunnilingus course with a Big A little a (must pcture the tongue movement to be funny)
    I'm a cunning linguist!
    The shopping course was easy..I buy all of Deas clothes etc...I'm like a woman in a mans body who thinks like a man or something

  13. #13
    God/dess DancerWealth's Avatar
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    Default Re:Men 101

    Quote Originally Posted by montythegeek link=board=1;threadid=6799;start=msg76254#msg76254 date=1077398200
    D.W. Maybe YOU don't. LOL
    She may be a good actress. Are you Positive all those orgasms were real? LMFAO
    One of these days when I get some time I'll have to post in here how we met. It's one for the history books.

    The ORIGINAL Stripper Sales School
    -
    Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle. ~Abraham Lincoln

  14. #14
    God/dess DancerWealth's Avatar
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    Default Re:Men 101

    I knew I'd find this out on the net. I found it in the same place that listed the Male Courses:

    Dear Women:
    A new two year degree has been developed to accompany the one outlined
    above. In the same amount of time it takes to become a real man, you
    too can learn how to be bearable, in spite of your natural instincts.
    Look at the degree requirements below.


    FIRST YEAR
    Fall
    Women 101 - Overcoming the Fallacious Assumption that You're Never Wrong
    Women 102 - How NOT to Act Like An Asshole When You're Right:Avoiding
    the -I Told You So- Whine
    Women 103 - Housework, You Knew It Was Part of the Deal When You Walked In
    Women 104 - PMS - No, We DON'T Just Have to Put Up With It:Learning
    NOT to Indulge Your Bad Moods
    Women 105 - How to Wait for Another Person to Finish Speaking Before You
    Start Talking

    Winter
    Women 110 - If It's Your Plan To -Change Him-, Don't Marry Him. A
    Conceptual Approach to Marrying For Valid Reasons
    Women 111 - Christmas & Birthdays: Avoiding the Power Tool Default Mode
    Women 112 - Stereotypical Assumptions Concerning Male Behaviors and
    Motivations: The Fallacy of Women's Magazine Articles and the "Experts"
    Who Write Them
    Women 113 - The Interpersonal Interaction Laboratory: Don-t Ask For the
    Truth, When What You Really Want Is Agreement
    Women 114 - How To Act Younger Than Your Mother

    Spring
    Women 120 - Get A Life: Your Girlfriends Don't Have the Answer
    Women 121 - Thinking For Yourself: You Don't Really Need An Opinion From
    Ten Other Know-It-All Women Before Making A Decision
    Women 122 - The -Best Friend- Problem: She Doesn't Need to Know Every
    Detail of Our Relationship, And She DOES NOT Have Input to the Marriage
    - A Mixed-Gender Seminar Focusing on Privacy Issues and the Betrayal of Trust
    Women 123 - Soap Operas: Not A Mirror of Reality
    Women 124 - Learning to Understand and Accept That We Aren't Required to
    Adhere to Decisions Your Mother Makes.

    SECOND YEAR
    Fall
    Sex 101 - You CAN Learn To Stop Using It As A Weapon
    Sex 102 - The Role of Sex in Marriage. If We Don't Get It Here, It's
    a) Grounds For Divorce, b) O.K. To Get It Elsewhere
    Sex 103 - How To Participate in the Sexual Act - If It Was Enjoyable
    Before We Were Married, Why Is It Dirty & -Immature-Now? A Series of
    Discussions On the Nature of Honesty in Relationships
    Sex 104 - Foreplay: The Two-Way Street with No Stop Signs

    Winter
    Women 210 - Admonishment and Rebuke: The Death of Love
    Women 211 - High Horses: How to Avoid Getting Up On One
    Women 212 - Timliness: Stifling Your Contempt For It
    Women 213 - Parenting: Nine Months of a Natural, Biologic Process Does
    Not Qualify You As An Infallible Expert
    Women 214 - Feminist Rhetoric: Yes, You're An Equal, Now Give It A Rest

    Spring
    Women 220 - Eliminating -Can't You Ever Do Anything Right?- From Your
    Vocabulary
    Women 221 - Getting Over the Pain of Knowing That Sometimes, We're
    Just Not Thinking About You
    Women 222 - Saying What You REALLY Mean:The End of Game-Playing
    Women 223 - Emotional Blackmail: A Twelve Step Program For Kicking the Habit
    Women 224 - Understanding the Male Response to Emotional Imprisonment

    The ORIGINAL Stripper Sales School
    -
    Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle. ~Abraham Lincoln

  15. #15
    Featured Member scorpio's Avatar
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    Default Re:Men 101

    LOL! now, cant we all just get along?

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