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Thread: how do you KNOW you're...

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    Veteran Member carmenNYC's Avatar
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    Default how do you KNOW you're...

    in love???? i've asked lots of people over the years and no one can seem to give me a clear answer. on this lazy sunday ive been thinking about my past relationships and....well....i know i loved some of them..but not sure if i was IN love....

    so how do ya know??

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    Veteran Member Kittie's Avatar
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    Default Re:how do you KNOW you're...

    I always thought that I was in love when I started doing kinda retarded things like writing the person's name all over any piece of paper I could find and drawing little hearts everywhere. Or when you talk to your friends....and that person is the only thing you can think to talk about. Or when you talk to your friends about the person so much that they threaten (jokenly or not) to kill you if you don't shut up about it. If you find yourself with the urge to carve your names into every tree you pass. You know stuff like that. Basically you're in love when you find yourself doing all kinds of things that you normally wouldn't do.

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    Default Re:how do you KNOW you're...

    Good question !!
    For me..I think I am in love when I am very happy and I am really want to better myself. I was in love with this great guy and everyday was like a new adventure. I would always keep myself up to par..and he made me feel so loved, like I was the Queen of the Universe !! Wow !!
    My new love...is me !

    Even the greatest authority does not, ultimately, know you as you know yourself.
    Jhuka

    When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
    Maya Angelou


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    Veteran Member Pumpkin Pie's Avatar
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    Default Re:how do you KNOW you're...

    Love? Hmmm. Interesting question. Hmmm.

    As there are so many kinds of love, I'll address love as it pertains to a potential wife ... which, for me, is on a magnitude higher than a "significant other" (a.k.a. girlfriend). When I finally propose to a woman (or women ... hey, a guy can dream! ), I will feel not just that I have found my soulmate but my missing half. Not that I feel incomplete now, but simply that ... boy, is this going to sound corny ... that it will feel like the two of us have become one. More than a team. We are part of each other. To think of a world without her would be impossible.

    As for feelings, they'll run the gambit. Her presense will both calm me and excite me and motivate me to be better. The world will feel like it is one step removed from us when we're together. There will never be any doubt about trust. There will be no jealousy or envy. We won't have to always talk to communicate. If she needs some alone time, that doesn't exclude me and may even require me ... if only silently hugging her on the balcony. And everything will taste better, look better, feel better.
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    Veteran Member carmenNYC's Avatar
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    Default Re:how do you KNOW you're...

    When I finally propose to a woman (or women ... hey, a guy can dream!- PP

    LOL!!!

    this is what i hope it will be like- it will be much deeper than a sexual attraction...we will be able to talk about ANYTHING, we will accept each other flaws & all, we will love each other no matter what- passionate, deep love that nothing could destroy. it will feel like me & him against the world. k:

    *unfortunately, i feel like my description is just never going to happen. it seems impossible to find.. i guess you just have to let it find you.... rt:

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    Veteran Member Pumpkin Pie's Avatar
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    Default Re:how do you KNOW you're...

    Quote Originally Posted by carmenNYC link=board=1;threadid=6822;start=msg76551#msg76551 date=1077478749
    *unfortunately, i feel like my description is just never going to happen. it seems impossible to find.. i guess you just have to let it find you.... rt:
    What are you talking about? Go buy yourself a damn calendar like I did. See. *Pie points to his calendar that's above and to the right of his computer.* I have it already penciled in that I will be meeting the love of my life somewhere around 3-ish in the afternoon on March 22nd of this year while buying groceries and humming the tune "Isn't it romantic.". As for who she will be, that's not all that important. That I schedule it to happen is. There! Problem solved. Geez, Carmen, why do you always try to make things so difficult?
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    Veteran Member carmenNYC's Avatar
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    Default Re:how do you KNOW you're...





    ...oh my god, i just bought a calender, Pumpkin, i'm meeting the loveofmylife around 3 on March 22 while in a supermarket!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!

    wait....doesnt that mean.....

    cant wait to meet you!!!


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    Veteran Member Pumpkin Pie's Avatar
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    Default Re:how do you KNOW you're...

    Quote Originally Posted by carmenNYC link=board=1;threadid=6822;start=msg76559#msg76559 date=1077480383
    cant wait to meet you!!!

    See how much life is easier if you got a calendar? Now I'll be in the cereal aile looking like this: http://www.stripperweb.com/gallery/members/Scott

    ...and wearing a : hat and I'll try to remember to wear pants. What will you be looking like?

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re:how do you KNOW you're...

    I think you know you're in love when you get those butterfly fluttery feelings in your stomach every time he/she calls or shows up, and when you just can't wait to see him/her again.

    IMO, being 'in love', while a great feeling, is very superficial and temporary. People fall out of love just as easily as they fall in. You don't have strong relationships with those you're merely 'in love' with. Loving someone is far deeper and involves much more than just that fluttery feeling you get when you first get together. Love is something you don't just fall into or out of, and lasts long after the fluttery feelings are a distant memory. Big difference. Just my $.02

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    Default Re:how do you KNOW you're...

    Well, too be honest.. I HATED my hubby when I first met him.. lol.. He was actually my manager at a donut shop I worked at.. ugh.. He turned my stomach every time he'd come in to work. I was repulsed.

    About a year after he left the place, he started stopping by to say hi, and stuff like that. We became the BEST of friends, and what I tell everyone is that he grew on me.. Kind of like fungus.. LOL.. So, we started dating about 6 months or so after that, and we married a year later.

    I knew that I was in love with him when I caught myself smiling at some point in my day, just thinking of him, for no apparent reason. Very weird, how someone can go from hate to complete love and wholeness.
    k:

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    Default Re:how do you KNOW you're...

    I dont know what love is. I never felt it in any way. I do wish to find it though and that it be a deep love. Where the two of us embrace and become one as mentioned earlier by pumkin pie. I know I will know love when I have it because I have never felt it. Lust, yes, love no. Lust is what makes you do silly things, not love. Love is something special that you will know and feel for a lifetime. Lust is temporary love is eternity.
    Love does come in other forms however. Such as the love I have for my grandmother. She is everything to me, I miss her so much. She could make me smile no matter what.
    Love also is the feeling of accomplishment and sharing it with your co-workers or family and friends. Such as when you graduate from college or accomplish a goal at work where a team of you worked your asses off and successfully implimented a project.
    Some peole Love money. Some think it is the root of all evil.
    I do know that love can not happen until you love yourself fully. You have to love yourself before you can love another. Another may help you love yourself but you have to find love within and when you do love will be everywhere. Hate will be gone and happiness is what you will achieve.


    Hugs and Love to all my ladies,
    Melissa

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    Default Re:how do you KNOW you're...

    Love is a combonation of:

    1) passion
    2) committment
    3) and one more trait I forgot what its called (where you're content just hanging with each other)

    Depending how much each trait contributes, that's the kind of love you're experiencing; it could be romantic love, passionate love, committed love...

    I forget whose theory this is, but it made perfect sense to me as I pondered the very same question...


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    Featured Member Fawn's Avatar
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    Default Re:how do you KNOW you're...

    I think loving someone is caring a great deal for them and always wanting them to be in your life. Think of your best friend, or even the guy you used to be crazy about and absolutly care deeply about, but the spark is gone. Thats love, not in love.

    In love to me is when even on a bad day the mention of that persons name makes you smile. It's looking at the person your with while watching a Jonny Depp flick and thinking the guy your with is the most beautiful thing youve ever laid eyes on.
    When you make love and you feel like you might cry because you've never felt that kind of a connection before. When your laying next to him while he sleeps and you can't stop thinking that you must be the luckiest girl in the world to be with this guy. When you look into his eyes and your heart shakes. When he touches you and you feel a warmth and energy as if your whole body has just become electric.

    I've said it before, and I'll say it again, Damn I Miss Being in love!
    " Remember during each test there is some girl in Australia jealous of you who wants to do what you're doing."- Lilithmorrigan

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    Shopping and Fucking? Life is short, but youth is shorter. Ride the wheels off, I say." - FeministStripper

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    Veteran Member SaraNLA's Avatar
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    Default Re:how do you KNOW you're...

    "Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own." - Robert Heinlein

    In love - he would do anything for my happiness and I for him. In love: 100% no holding back. Maybe there's just 'love' sometimes because people aren't ready to be 'in love'. That full kind of love could be destructive with the wrong person. But with the right person, well, that's worth marking your calendar for.....
    Let your indulgence set me free. - Shakespeare

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    Veteran Member carmenNYC's Avatar
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    Default Re:how do you KNOW you're...

    cool to read every1's def.

    here's more definitions; scientific and unscientific....
    cool link-

    http://loveisgreat.com/ABOUT_LOVE/What_is_love.html


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    God/dess erotictonic's Avatar
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    Default Re:how do you KNOW you're...

    I know I'm in love when the person can do no wrong... love is blind. I think the person is funnier, cooler, better-looking, etc. than everyone else views him. Yes, love is definitely different than being "in love". Love is lasting, being "in love" is definitely fleeting.

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    God/dess lestat1's Avatar
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    Default Re:how do you KNOW you're...

    Quote Originally Posted by carmenNYC link=board=1;threadid=6822;start=msg77277#msg77277 date=1077651894
    I thought that page had some very perceptive definitions.
    Quote Originally Posted by _Avery_ View Post
    omg, why is it so huge?!! lol lol

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    Veteran Member bibacle's Avatar
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    Default Re:how do you KNOW you're...

    I thing all of us have trouble distinguishing between infatuation, physical attraction, mental compatability and genuine LOVE. It gets very confusing.

    I suppose it is even more confusing to the women here, because your entire work day is spent attempting to elicit the feeling of at least infatuation with your customers. You litterally expose yourself to strangers and pretend to be intimate. Is it any wonder that it gets confusing outside of work?

    Yes, in order to be sucessful you have to have a strong sense of self, but love means giving of yourself in a genuine way, using the exact same physical and mental moves that you use at work in a simulated way.

    This is simply an observation, not judgemental or anything. Love is a real toughie. As Carrie said in the final episode, "I am someone who's looking for love, real love ... can't-live-without-each-other love,"

    "Those who dance, are considered crazy by those who can't hear the music."--George Carlin

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    Featured Member Juliette_deSade's Avatar
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    Default Re:how do you KNOW you're...

    I will know if I am in Love because I find myself acting like my own police. It doesn't matter if he does not see what I do at all times. I'm still not going to do things that hurt him when he is away. I'll still not give away my phone number or let myself be tempted by another person. If I have somebody who MORE than satisfies me, why forsake that?

    I'll know if I notice marked growth in the both of us. If HE can tell me that I have done as much for him as he has for me. If both of us know we could not have gotten as far without each other. Through the other we gained self confidence like we never knew existed. You know to grasp his hand and think "here we go again...." when there's bullshit.

    Love means you are SO in tune with each other. You can give him advice when he's down. He gives YOU advice when you are down and takes your side no matter what. Your side IS his side.

    Your share a bond that keeps you talking. There is such a great respect for the other's abilities and intelligence that you are NEVER bored. You understand each others idiosyncricies. They make you giggle, actually.

    You freak out if they leave the house without a raincoat or umbrella during a downpour.

    If they are sick and smelly and messy you think nothing of it. It isn't your loves puke you are concerned about, it's HIm. and vice versa. It isn't even a burden. It's just what you DO.


    The person you spend the rest of your life with should be someone who you can not only live with, but cannot live without.
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    Veteran Member carmenNYC's Avatar
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    Default Re:how do you KNOW you're...

    ok so if you are IN LOVE, then these are some things you would never do to your SO- (even if you are selfish)?????

    -cheat
    -hurt them in any way


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    Featured Member Juliette_deSade's Avatar
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    Default Re:how do you KNOW you're...

    Love can't be selfish. End of story.
    The Texas Pin-up Stripteuse!

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    Default Re:how do you KNOW you're...

    I think it's important to realize that there are different kinds of love between a couple. You go through phases. I don't know what the scientific terms are but you have your electric honeymoon phase, then it changes a bit to perhaps a deeper more committed love yet not so electrifying. But you're still very much in love.

    I watched "Original Sin" (again!) the other night and think about this for a sec..."to love is to give...to lust is to take..."


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    Senior Member slashingbeauty's Avatar
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    Default Re:how do you KNOW you're...

    I have very strong ideals about love. It may sound ridiculous, but the Alanis Morrissette song "You Owe Me Nothing In Return" is the complete defintiion of how I think love should be.
    But personally? I know I am in love when I am kept from sleep, terrified that someday I will die and, being human and not knowing for sure what comes after that, I might not know them again or be with them any longer. As in, the person is so central to my very existence that to exist without them is something I cannot conceive of.
    And (if no one minds if I *tangent* here) I am a believer in fate. For instance, my boyfriend (not saying he's "the one" or anything) used to be someone I could not stand. I found him arrogant and pompous. He thought I was a man-hating lesbian. However, one day we had a real conversation. About a girl he'd run into in a bar that knew me. I was engaged to her brother. Now, this girl is not of age, and I have been in the same bar 100 times since and never seen her. He had been mentioning something about where I work,and she overheard him. So, indirectly, we met because of my past relationship.
    Turns out, he'd had a crush on me for years, but every time he tried to talk to me, I blew him off because of who he is.
    Funny how things work out sometimes...Crazy.
    -slashingbeauty

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    Featured Member Victoryx0x0's Avatar
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    Default Re: how do you KNOW you're...

    When he is the first thing you think of in the morning, the last thing you think of at night....
    when you appreciate all the little things he does for you...

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