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Thread: Does this aggravate you also?

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    Senior Member slashingbeauty's Avatar
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    Default Does this aggravate you also?

    Does anyone else notice the degradation of women in our chosen field of work in the media?
    It really astonishes me how often I read, in popular women's publications (Cosmo, Glamour, etc) some rude and slanderous comment about strippers.
    In response to one woman's question about her boyf being at a party where the bachelor got a lap dance from a stripper and didn't know how she felt about her boyf now, even though he was not the one getting the dance, the advice columnist said, in addition to her many other comments, that "strippers are gross". That is a direct quote from Cosmo, last Nov.
    This outrages me, and I hope it outrages some of you also. I have been dancing for years, and although I do not do "extras", I do not look down upon the dancers that do. Or any women who work in the sex indusrty, for that matter! Why is it so easy and common for women to use us as outlets for their own insecurities and/or jealousy (i.e. female customers who have a running commentary on every girl that appears onstage, none of it kind or supportive)?
    Why did everyone make such a HUGE deal about Ben Affleck going to a strip club?
    Why do women come into a strip club with their boyfriend and leave in a rage, crying and yelling?
    I just wanted to rant a bit about this. Hope no one minds.
    I have been perfecting a letter to Cosmo for several months about this topic. I will send it sometime soon. Now, I still continue to buy these publications, as I enjoy them, and it would only be my loss, not theirs, if I didn't buy them.
    But doesn't it seem only fair for the media to perhaps cease making degrading comments about women in this industry, or, at the very least, do a story about a happy, satisfied stripper for once?
    I am not at all ashamed of what I do, and I don't think anyone should be ashamed of the fact that stripping IS done. Be naked and be proud, damnit.
    *deep breath*
    -slashingbeauty

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    God/dess Malibu's Avatar
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    Default Re:Does this aggravate you also?

    I dislike the portayal too.

    But to be very honest, they sometimes have reason to get the wrong impression. When you put attention-seeking strippers and the media together, you get a bad show. The strippers will play up for the cameras often doing and saying things that WE would NEVER dream of. I've sometimes seen this on TV (with disgust), where girls badmouth their clientele, act like they were forced into stripping, or even talk about how it's a great way to hook up with guys (single or not). No wonder many women have a sour taste in their mouth and don't want us anywhere near them. I even read on here about someone seeing a girl on Jenny Jones try and tongue the guys whilst lapdancing for them. Gross and a bad representation of the profession.

    As I've said before, noone should let a few bad apples ruin the bunch and every person has the ability to look past the stereotype and see what it's like in reality. However, until that is done, I don't think the abuse will stop and small minds will only get smaller.
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    - Sara Bailey: Sieve of Words

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    God/dess lestat1's Avatar
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    Default Re:Does this aggravate you also?

    As long as dancers collectively look down upon their customers, others will look down upon dancers for catering to those customers. The two are irrevocably linked. Neither strip club patron nor employee can pull themselves up in society alone, it will forever be a joint effort. Only when we are each willing to give the respect we hope to receive, will we get it in return.
    Quote Originally Posted by _Avery_ View Post
    omg, why is it so huge?!! lol lol

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    Member parsifal's Avatar
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    Default Re:Does this aggravate you also?

    Things change. Look at this gay marriage issue. Who would expect small-town mayors to be jumping on the bandwagon with San Francisco and Massachusetts? I think the civil rights issues here are starting to be understood by middle America.

    And besides, look how popular adult movies are on cable and rental. Peoples' minds do change.

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    Veteran Member vanilla_dog's Avatar
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    Default Re:Does this aggravate you also?

    Yes there are inaccurate depictions in the media but there are some good stories too. Here, for example, is a cool link to a USA Today story published in October with a different slant. It's not totally glamorizing stripping but it's not trashing it either. It even quotes Pryce! http://www.usatoday.com/life/2003-10...ip-clubs_x.htm

    The veil of secrecy has been lifted from stripping, says Mr. Pryce, founder of 2-year-old StripperWeb.com, a forum for dancers to talk shop that also offers a peep into the strip world. "When talk of clubs was kept more hush-hush, mystery abounded and rumors ran rampant." - USA Today 10/27/03

    Cosmo is hardly a pillar of morality anyway; it's covers are now blocked in my grocery store newstand because they're too racy.

    Lestat: I think judeo-christian-muslim people will ALWAYS look down on those who provide sexual company for pay. If nothing else, we live in a sexually oppressive society that prefers the most graphic violence to the slightest eroticism.
    You get what you put up with

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    God/dess lestat1's Avatar
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    Default Re:Does this aggravate you also?

    Quote Originally Posted by vanilla_dog link=board=1;threadid=6965;start=msg78792#msg78792 date=1077960140
    Lestat: I think judeo-christian-muslim people will ALWAYS look down on those who provide sexual company for pay. If nothing else, we live in a sexually oppressive society that prefers the most graphic violence to the slightest eroticism.
    I think that's true, at least for the forseeable future. I'll gladly sign the "more boobies less violence" petition. We've got almost 5,000 members, that's a nice start...
    Quote Originally Posted by _Avery_ View Post
    omg, why is it so huge?!! lol lol

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    Featured Member FONDL's Avatar
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    Default Re:Does this aggravate you also?

    Lstat1 and vanilla-dog, I totally agree with you both. I'm absolutely amazed that graphic voilence in movies and TV is acceptable behavior but baring a boob on TV is viewed as the work of the devil (although most people privately could care less.) Our society's public values are about as screwed up as one can imagine. And the really sad part about it is that no politician has the balls to say what he really thinks.
    Friends Of Naked Dancing Ladies (FONDL)

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    Senior Member slashingbeauty's Avatar
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    Default Re:Does this aggravate you also?

    I agree with everyone who has posted, and Lestat1 had a really good point. It is a collective effort between dancer and customer. I joined here not only to become more closely linked with other dancers and to gather more insight into the subculture that is stripping, but also to hear more customers' opinions on dancers.
    And although I hadn't thought of it previously, it was an excellent point that I had to reply to. I have to work tonight, and I know I am going to remember that comment. Thank you, Lestat1
    Anyway, I love busting up the stereotype, so I will continue to do so. There's a joke where I live; "where do you go in this city to find a PhD? The strip club and the cab company". ;p
    Thanks for your input!
    -slashingbeauty

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    God/dess Lexi's Avatar
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    Default Re:Does this aggravate you also?

    Its such BS I tell you. Its ok to see the hundreds of titties in movies like Club Dread, and all those American Pie movies, but oops...it makes it to mainstream tv and its a huge problem. What about those girls in the movies? Are they different? They get paid to show their boobs? Do you see anyone calling them whores? No! Its ridiculous

  10. #10
    God/dess Gynger's Avatar
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    Default Re:Does this aggravate you also?

    Where do I start????? First, Lestat—here’s your redhaired girl! LOL… but, to put in my two cents about this topic and everything else that outrages me… my redheaded nature is coming out…

    Women who yell, scream, cause a scene and cry: Insecure with themselves and their relationships. I have seen so many women who make spectacles of themselves in the clubs I have worked at (past and present)… men who bring their wives, girlfriends who live in the fantasy that we, as dancers are going to leave with them at the end of the night to do the all time fantasy (two girls one guy) Oooh.. I just get pissed when I get told, "Aren’t all strippers like that?" Sometimes, I feel like smacking these people back into reality. What I really LOOOOOOOVE are the women who give me that look.. you know girls "The look" like.. "oh my GAAAAWWWDDDDD…. How disgusting"… I love this when I get recognized in public by the same women.. Jealousy because their husbands/boyfriends/SO’s come to a club to get a fantasy full filled because their closed minded fat assed wives, girlfriends/SO’s (and not all are fat but just bitchy) can’t open up just a little bit to appreciate what we are all about. No ladies, we aren’t stealing your boyfriend, husband or SO.. we’re asking for him to open up his wallet and pay us some money so we can support ourselves and our children, oh yeah, and some of us do have husbands. Instead of viewing us as these horrible people, perhaps they should view it as something to enhance a relationship.. their men going to a strip club, getting all hot and bothered and we send them home so that they can attack/ravage their girlfriend, wife, or SO.

    Ben A going to strip club.. big whoop-de-do-dah-day…. Like anyone else hasn’t gone to one? Take the former mayor of our fine city here in Boise… he used city funds to fund trips to gay/strip bars.. and he’s a big shot in the LDS church. I love all these closet people who come out only when they are out of town.. no one is June or Ward Cleaver.. I challenge anyone to say that they are.. everyone has their vices and their levels of whatever turns them on. I am a stripper and I wear it proudly-to hell with anyone who doesn’t get the big picture.. oh yeah, and those uptight women.. ha ha.. I make more money than you do!

    I’d love to see a copy of the letter to cosmo…


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    God/dess Rhiannon's Avatar
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    Default Re:Does this aggravate you also?

    LOL great response, Gynger.

    I've seen some very interesting behavior from women who come in with their boyfriends or husbands before. For me, it went either way. There were some that were totally into it, and then there were quite a few that freaked out. lol...

    I've gotten so used to the whole "Strippers are gross", "Strippers are whores", etc. Now, I pretty much just shrug it off, because I know better. I never have, and never will do extras. That would defeat the whole "selling a fantasy" concept, not to mention destroy my marriage. A lot of people don't realize that most of us do have serious relationships and families, and we hold true to them. They'll just never get it.

    But guys, seriously... If you have a girlfriend or a wife who is prone to that type of possessiveness and weirded-out behavior, please leave her at home. lol

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    God/dess Deogol's Avatar
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    Default Re:Does this aggravate you also?

    Quote Originally Posted by FONDL link=board=1;threadid=6965;start=msg78900#msg78900 date=1077996930
    Lstat1 and vanilla-dog, I totally agree with you both. I'm absolutely amazed that graphic voilence in movies and TV is acceptable behavior but baring a boob on TV is viewed as the work of the devil (although most people privately could care less.) Our society's public values are about as screwed up as one can imagine. And the really sad part about it is that no politician has the balls to say what he really thinks.
    Our societies values are enforced mainly by politicians. These politicians are generally elected by an incredibly small minority of people - generally 30% of the population decides what the other 70% will see.

    (Some interesting statistics: )

    It is our own fault - we don't vote or we don't vote with our beliefs anymore. Instead of voting for someone we want to, we vote for the least evil.

    Personally, I am voting for Nader. Fuck the democrats - they are no different than the republicans.

  13. #13
    God/dess lestat1's Avatar
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    Default Re:Does this aggravate you also?

    Quote Originally Posted by Deogol link=board=1;threadid=6965;start=msg79257#msg79257 date=1078103881
    Personally, I am voting for Nader. Fuck the democrats - they are no different than the republicans.
    Awesome, me too!
    Quote Originally Posted by _Avery_ View Post
    omg, why is it so huge?!! lol lol

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