Results 1 to 16 of 16

Thread: I swear I'm a stalker magnet

  1. #1
    Veteran Member Tia_q's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2002
    Location
    Upstate NY (Syracuse)
    Posts
    323
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts

    Default I swear I'm a stalker magnet

    Ladies I would like some advice/suggestions if you please-I've just had a night that has me freaked. Here's the story:
    About a week ago a guy comes into the club. He's from FL (I'm in NY). He's apparently visiting his brother (who lives approx 1/2 hour away from my club). I talked to him for maybe two songs then did 5 dances with him. Said he adored me and would be back to the club to see me.. would love to get the chance to date me..blah blah blah. He then left for the night. That was the first time I had ever seen him.

    Now, a week later Saturday night-I go in to work where I have a regular scheduled to meet me at the beginning of my shift. So at the beginning of my shift, I go out onto the floor and greet my regular when I'm tapped on the shoulder (interrupted from my conversation) from this "new guy" from last week. He starts gushing about how good it is to see me, how he was in on Thursday but I wasn't working..etc. and he requests to go into the VIP room. I explained I'm talking to someone right now (duh!) and I would be over in a minute.
    Turning back to my regular-I appologize for the interruption and find out if he's ready to go into the VIP (trying to gauge whether I could fit this new guy in before our session or not) But I couldn't, my regular was ready to go into the VIP. So I excused myself for a moment from my regular explaining that I wanted to give the "new guy" a heads up. No problem.

    Back to the "new guy"-I let him know that it's good to see him, etc but I had a scheduled regular. Hell I'll just write out the conversation probably be easier to read and shorter that way:
    Me: "I appologize, but I have one guy in front of you so I can't go into the VIP with you right now"
    "New Guy": "That's ok, I understand that you have others that you have to attend to".
    Me: "Thank you. But I do want to give you warning-he (regular) usually does at least 14 dances, so I'm going to be a while. I will completely understand if you want to find someone else tonight as it'll be a while before I'm out"
    "New Guy": "14 dances! Geez that's not fair! But I'll wait, I don't want to see anyone but you."

    I thank him and go to leave when he stops me and says "I've told my mother about you-and she said since I'm so enamored, that I should do what I can to be with you. So I've been talking to my old boss, and I may start working for him again so I can be closer to you ( meaning in NY rather than FL) I can't imagine the look on my face and I said "you can't be serious?" (at that point I really wasn't taking him seriously)... then not wanting to keep my regular waiting any longer, I told him I'd talk to him later.

    Now my regular ended up doing 25 dances with me. I come out of the VIP room and my DJ comes up to me and says "Geez! In one night you've managed to get me yelled at twice, the bouncer and one of the dancers yelled at too". Apparently after I had been in the VIP room a while the "new guy" started going crazy-yelling at everyone, demanding to know when I'd be out of there etc. After screaming at the DJ a second time he finally left. Some disturbing comments he said to the DJ and one of the other dancers:

    "It's not fair for that guy to monopolize her time like this!-I drove in from out of town to see her"
    "I'm seriously considering not going back to FL. because I want to be with her"
    "I can't believe she's been in there for two f**king hours! TWO f**cking hours!"
    "I have more money than that Old guy! Next time I'm going to come in here with $10,000 and spend it on everyone but her!"

    You get the jist. Now this reaction is downright scarey. I tried to warn him and let him know what to expect. I'm not quite sure what else I could have done. If I would have fit him in beforehand, I would have upset my regular, so instead I gave him the heads up and gave him other options. I'm not even sure what upsets me more-his reaction to me being in the VIP room for so long, or the fact that he's really considering not going back home to FL. In any case it spells bad news. I mean my God, he's "known" me for a total of maybe 1/2 hour and now this?

    Now here are my questions. What could I have done differently to prevent this? and What do I do now if he comes back into the club? His behavior is telling me to cut him off, but t the same time, this guy doesn't seem to be very logical-do I really want to piss someone like this off? I've been stalked in the past-and I don't think I really have it in me to go through it again-it's horrible. I'm afraid being stalked again will break me.

    I appologize for this being so long-I'm just really freaking out.

  2. #2
    Member
    Joined
    Mar 2004
    Posts
    22
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re:I swear I'm a stalker magnet

    As far as I can see, you didn't do anything wrong. That guy has some issues! Probably best to have him thrown out next time if he causes that much bullshit. Besides, some friendly advice.......stay away from him, acknowledge him, but stay away. If he caused any type of trouble, have him 86'd. Then for the next week, make sure you are escorted to your car if your club doesn't already do that.

  3. #3
    Banned Melonie's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2002
    Location
    way south of the border
    Posts
    25,932
    Thanks
    612
    Thanked 10,563 Times in 4,646 Posts
    Blog Entries
    3
    My Mood
    Cynical

    Default Re:I swear I'm a stalker magnet

    This guy from Florida has some issues indeed. The first probably stems from his unawareness of the "New York state of mind" as far as clubs are concerned. I'm sure that in most Florida clubs any guy who is willing to pony up for 10-20 dances is going to expect some serious "attention" from dancers there. However, as we both know, it takes a helluva lot more money on the part of one New York customer to 'buy a dancer for the night". The guy's comment about dropping 10 grand on all the other dancers in the club on a future occasion clearly shows his lack or a grasp of the New York economy (yeah right, $200 apiece, no big deal in New York!). In one way or another this guy must be made to realize that, even though he may think of himself as a big fish in Florida, in New York he's barely leaving ripples in the water.

    You appear to have gone to great lengths to treat this guy from Florida fairly. He showed up unannounced while your regular showed up as scheduled. From your viewpoint, a spending history of one night involving 5 dances didn't rate this guy any special attention whatsoever.

    If you are up for giving this guy from Florida a reality lesson, sit down with him once and explain to him that you have a string of regulars - all of whom typically purchase 10-20 dances at a time on a weekly basis. Explain to him that qualifying for a "sugar daddy" in New York (i.e. being able to expect a dancer's undivided attention regardless of which other customers might be present ) involves things like providing a nice leased apartment, a leased Lexus, a credit card etc.


  4. #4
    God/dess montythegeek's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2003
    Posts
    2,103
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 9 Times in 5 Posts

    Default Re:I swear I'm a stalker magnet

    TIA,
    Management will love you if this guy comes back and spends 10,000 dollars on everyone but you because they get their cut of 10K. They will be asking you to find another 50 guys to "offend" in this way. They may want to clone you.

    Sounds like a guy with a splinter in his ass complaining because they treated those auto accident victims ahead of him saying "Why waste their time on them, they'll die anyway."

  5. #5
    Banned
    Joined
    May 2003
    Location
    CA.
    Posts
    929
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re:I swear I'm a stalker magnet

    You can try negotiating with your regulars to see if you can fit him in. Explain your situation to them. Tell them you are trying to be fair.
    Sounds like this guy is really infatuated with you . Yes, he may be dangerous if he continues to act this way. There are other days and other times . See if you can schedule him in on another day. Tell him if he comes in at the prescribed time you will give him priority over those that request you. Then write down the time and date and honor your commitment. Tell him that is the best you can do for him.

  6. #6
    God/dess Farrah_Holiday's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2003
    Location
    Waikiki, West Hollyhood
    Posts
    4,638
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 10 Times in 9 Posts

    Default Re:I swear I'm a stalker magnet

    Quote Originally Posted by Tia_q link=board=1;threadid=7201;start=msg81837#msg81837 date=1078659417


    Now here are my questions. What could I have done differently to prevent this? and What do I do now if he comes back into the club? His behavior is telling me to cut him off, but t the same time, this guy doesn't seem to be very logical-do I really want to piss someone like this off? I've been stalked in the past-and I don't think I really have it in me to go through it again-it's horrible. I'm afraid being stalked again will break me.

    I appologize for this being so long-I'm just really freaking out.

    Tia..first off sweetie stay calm..next empower yourself! I have been through this stalker sh*t more times than I can count !!
    You seem like a very nice girl, so am I, sometimes our kindness gets mistaken for weakness.
    Next time this guy comes into your club, you walk over to him and let him know that in no way, form or fashion should he ever walk into your place of business and behave like an ASS ! You let him know that you don't appreciate him embarassing you in that manner. Let him know that he is a customer and you are there to provide a service for him PERIOD ! And if he continues to behave in a disrespectful manner that you will no longer deal with him..
    These are methods that work for me..he needs to be brought back into reality and understand whats REALLY going on.
    I would also say get a can of pepper spray,there is some that hangs off your keychain, and learn how to use it. Maybe even take a Tae-bo class too.
    I have dealt with this problem a lot in the past...
    g/l
    Farrah
    My new love...is me !

    Even the greatest authority does not, ultimately, know you as you know yourself.
    Jhuka

    When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
    Maya Angelou


  7. #7
    God/dess Gynger's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2004
    Posts
    3,103
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 15 Times in 9 Posts

    Default Re:I swear I'm a stalker magnet

    Quote Originally Posted by Tia_q link=board=1;threadid=7201;start=msg81837#msg81837 date=1078659417
    Ladies I would like some advice/suggestions if you please-I've just had a night that has me freaked. Here's the story:
    About a week ago a guy comes into the club. He's from FL (I'm in NY). He's apparently visiting his brother (who lives approx 1/2 hour away from my club). I talked to him for maybe two songs then did 5 dances with him. Said he adored me and would be back to the club to see me.. would love to get the chance to date me..blah blah blah. He then left for the night. That was the first time I had ever seen him.

    Now, a week later Saturday night-I go in to work where I have a regular scheduled to meet me at the beginning of my shift. So at the beginning of my shift, I go out onto the floor and greet my regular when I'm tapped on the shoulder (interrupted from my conversation) from this "new guy" from last week. He starts gushing about how good it is to see me, how he was in on Thursday but I wasn't working..etc. and he requests to go into the VIP room. I explained I'm talking to someone right now (duh!) and I would be over in a minute.
    Turning back to my regular-I appologize for the interruption and find out if he's ready to go into the VIP (trying to gauge whether I could fit this new guy in before our session or not) But I couldn't, my regular was ready to go into the VIP. So I excused myself for a moment from my regular explaining that I wanted to give the "new guy" a heads up. No problem.

    Back to the "new guy"-I let him know that it's good to see him, etc but I had a scheduled regular. Hell I'll just write out the conversation probably be easier to read and shorter that way:
    Me: "I appologize, but I have one guy in front of you so I can't go into the VIP with you right now"
    "New Guy": "That's ok, I understand that you have others that you have to attend to".
    Me: "Thank you. But I do want to give you warning-he (regular) usually does at least 14 dances, so I'm going to be a while. I will completely understand if you want to find someone else tonight as it'll be a while before I'm out"
    "New Guy": "14 dances! Geez that's not fair! But I'll wait, I don't want to see anyone but you."

    I thank him and go to leave when he stops me and says "I've told my mother about you-and she said since I'm so enamored, that I should do what I can to be with you. So I've been talking to my old boss, and I may start working for him again so I can be closer to you ( meaning in NY rather than FL) I can't imagine the look on my face and I said "you can't be serious?" (at that point I really wasn't taking him seriously)... then not wanting to keep my regular waiting any longer, I told him I'd talk to him later.

    Now my regular ended up doing 25 dances with me. I come out of the VIP room and my DJ comes up to me and says "Geez! In one night you've managed to get me yelled at twice, the bouncer and one of the dancers yelled at too". Apparently after I had been in the VIP room a while the "new guy" started going crazy-yelling at everyone, demanding to know when I'd be out of there etc. After screaming at the DJ a second time he finally left. Some disturbing comments he said to the DJ and one of the other dancers:

    "It's not fair for that guy to monopolize her time like this!-I drove in from out of town to see her"
    "I'm seriously considering not going back to FL. because I want to be with her"
    "I can't believe she's been in there for two f**king hours! TWO f**cking hours!"
    "I have more money than that Old guy! Next time I'm going to come in here with $10,000 and spend it on everyone but her!"

    You get the jist. Now this reaction is downright scarey. I tried to warn him and let him know what to expect. I'm not quite sure what else I could have done. If I would have fit him in beforehand, I would have upset my regular, so instead I gave him the heads up and gave him other options. I'm not even sure what upsets me more-his reaction to me being in the VIP room for so long, or the fact that he's really considering not going back home to FL. In any case it spells bad news. I mean my God, he's "known" me for a total of maybe 1/2 hour and now this?

    Now here are my questions. What could I have done differently to prevent this? and What do I do now if he comes back into the club? His behavior is telling me to cut him off, but t the same time, this guy doesn't seem to be very logical-do I really want to piss someone like this off? I've been stalked in the past-and I don't think I really have it in me to go through it again-it's horrible. I'm afraid being stalked again will break me.

    I appologize for this being so long-I'm just really freaking out.



    Tia:

    This sounds like my situation with my Psycho regular only in reverse mode.. my regular went loco and my new regular was great... however, I don't think you did anything wrong.. you did everything exactly how anyone would have done it.. however, the comment about telling his mother about you bothers me a bit.. and the fact that he is going to transfer???? WTF is that about? Obviously he's smitten... just be careful...

    and, no, you aren't the only one who attracts the SM's... its nation wide lately... what are with these guys anyways????






    [/URL]
    [/URL]



  8. #8
    Featured Member FONDL's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Philly area
    Posts
    943
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts

    Default Re:I swear I'm a stalker magnet

    Some guys unfortunately will always misinterpret your kindness for romantic interest. Next time he comes in, have a talk with him and and make it very clear to him that you enjoy his company and hope he keeps coming to see you, but that he is just a customer to you and always will be, that you never allow yourself to become personally involved with customers. And if he isn't interested in you on that basis he shouldn't come back.
    Friends Of Naked Dancing Ladies (FONDL)

  9. #9
    Pamela
    Guest

    Default Re:I swear I'm a stalker magnet

    OH Tia i am so sorry this has happened to you. Believe it or not, i get this crap from jerks at the hospital too. They will ask for my number, i say no. (that's all i need to do, or so i thought, a plain NO.) They come back at me with well, can i give you mine? Again i say no. NOW...they (some) are calling me names. And not nice names. Also one guy said he will wait until my shift was over because he knew i closed down my area at nights sometimes. BS, one thing he did not know is he was on camera (3) and i had a diress alarm that looks like i am doing nothing more than sitting at my desk reading! Clubs....Yep same damn thing. To me NO means NO, when i am pissed and in a situation where i don't like him. I don't hesitate to cover ALL bases then. Good luck hun, you will get rid of him too, sometimes it does not hurt to let these guys know they are on camera, and you will not tolerate the behaviour. The sooner you kick it in the ass the better the outcome, don't let him get to know anymore about you, so he can feel that closer feeling to you.

    Pamela

  10. #10
    Glamazon
    Guest

    Default Re:I swear I'm a stalker magnet

    Let him come in with $10,000 and spend it on everyone but you then have his ass 86'd. You, my dear, still have your regulars. They are the ones that take care of you, not some one or two time client who is already dreaming of white picket fences with you.

    Sounds kind of like my situation about a month ago, without all the psycho talk. Geesh! What's wrong with some of these guys???

  11. #11
    God/dess Deogol's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2003
    Posts
    5,493
    Thanks
    120
    Thanked 50 Times in 35 Posts

    Default Re:I swear I'm a stalker magnet

    Quote Originally Posted by Melonie link=board=1;threadid=7201;start=msg81866#msg81866 date=1078674141
    This guy from Florida has some issues indeed. The first probably stems from his unawareness of the "New York state of mind" as far as clubs are concerned. I'm sure that in most Florida clubs any guy who is willing to pony up for 10-20 dances is going to expect some serious "attention" from dancers there. However, as we both know, it takes a helluva lot more money on the part of one New York customer to 'buy a dancer for the night". The guy's comment about dropping 10 grand on all the other dancers in the club on a future occasion clearly shows his lack or a grasp of the New York economy (yeah right, $200 apiece, no big deal in New York!). In one way or another this guy must be made to realize that, even though he may think of himself as a big fish in Florida, in New York he's barely leaving ripples in the water.

    You appear to have gone to great lengths to treat this guy from Florida fairly. He showed up unannounced while your regular showed up as scheduled. From your viewpoint, a spending history of one night involving 5 dances didn't rate this guy any special attention whatsoever.

    If you are up for giving this guy from Florida a reality lesson, sit down with him once and explain to him that you have a string of regulars - all of whom typically purchase 10-20 dances at a time on a weekly basis. Explain to him that qualifying for a "sugar daddy" in New York (i.e. being able to expect a dancer's undivided attention regardless of which other customers might be present ) involves things like providing a nice leased apartment, a leased Lexus, a credit card etc.

    No.

    Reading the post has it was written gives me the feeling she has a gut feeling he is a fruitcake. Go with your gut.

    Don't mess with fruitcakes, and you can only reason with a sensible person in control of their faculties.

    This one sounds like he is ready to go off the deep end.

    Next type she encounters him, and he starts acting wacko - 86 his ass out the door with a slam and a "Don't come back."

  12. #12
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    744
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re:I swear I'm a stalker magnet

    Count yourself lucky and let someone else have the future problems this guy will cause. You really don't have a "stalking" problem, as depicted by the typical dancer situation.. Stalking being an enfatuated customer following you home and showing up at
    unfortunate times. You have a narcissitc customer with little grasp of strip club realities. At least he has confined his activities to the club and not crossed the line into your real life and real personal space.

    My ATF would explain that I had come in from out of town, and of course, (all other factors being equal) after a while she liked me better than the alternatives. At least we could trust each other, and to her that was important. She liked it that I took her out of circulation. As far as my actions it was my intent to out bid the other
    guys when I was around, but also leave her with a group of guys that I felt were Ok when I was out of town and not around.

    It got where there appeared to be a formula to maximize income
    for her.. and I enjoyed seeing if my formula and her tactics worked.

    Starting at 6 p.m. rather than 8 p.m. was good but not on Saturday nights. On Saturday you started at 8 p.m. 6p.m. worked because you got the after business crowd who would do one or two table dances if they noticed you as a dancer. There were less dancers so you could get more stage time. Stage time was good because in a big club the guys would notice you if you were on stage.

    By 8 p.m. there were alot of dancers, but not many customers.
    By starting early you had more table dances racked up.

    Oh well. But stalking is the wrong word here on this post.

  13. #13
    Member
    Joined
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Upstate NY
    Posts
    33
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re:I swear I'm a stalker magnet

    Quote Originally Posted by Tia_q link=board=1;threadid=7201;start=msg81837#msg81837 date=1078659417
    Now here are my questions. What could I have done differently to prevent this? and What do I do now if he comes back into the club? His behavior is telling me to cut him off, but t the same time, this guy doesn't seem to be very logical-do I really want to piss someone like this off? I've been stalked in the past-and I don't think I really have it in me to go through it again-it's horrible. I'm afraid being stalked again will break me.

    I appologize for this being so long-I'm just really freaking out.
    Tia;

    Your situations is not unique. I do have to say, I've been to The Club several times (I don't live too far away) and have seen you dance, so I can vouch that guy has good taste! However, he's a bit loco to go off like that. For someone like that to make such statements of committment so easily and quickly raises a huge blip on my radar. I've had a few "stalkers" in my line of work...both nuts. Stay calm, be upfront with management and don't let the guy back in the door. You will get more trouble if you try to deal with him than to just cut him off. You should certainly notify the police at the first sign of any trouble.

    It's better to cut him loose, quickly and cleanly. Good luck.

    BTW, If anything like that ever happens again...get away fast.
    It's all mind over matter. If I don't mind, it doesn't matter.

  14. #14
    Veteran Member Tia_q's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2002
    Location
    Upstate NY (Syracuse)
    Posts
    323
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts

    Default Re:I swear I'm a stalker magnet

    Thank you everyone so much for your support. I'm much calmer than I was last night (I really was doubting my sanity) A nights sleep, a day of vegging (watching SU win *g*) and reading your responses have helped greatly.
    I was really freaking (and apologize for the numerous typos) and was hoping you guys/ladies would help-and you did
    Honestly I'm hoping this guy is so upset that he heads back to FL as planned. As things stand now, I took next Saturday off-so if he does come in, at least I won't be there (I took it off for a day of celebrating St. Pat's not because of him)

    Thanks again Guess I'll have to see what happens-maybe all this worry will be for naught

  15. #15
    Veteran Member Tia_q's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2002
    Location
    Upstate NY (Syracuse)
    Posts
    323
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts

    Default Re:I swear I'm a stalker magnet

    Quote Originally Posted by Niceguy link=board=1;threadid=7201;start=msg82040#msg82040 date=1078711592
    Count yourself lucky and let someone else have the future problems this guy will cause. You really don't have a "stalking" problem, as depicted by the typical dancer situation.. Stalking being an enfatuated customer following you home and showing up at
    unfortunate times. You have a narcissitc customer with little grasp of strip club realities. At least he has confined his activities to the club and not crossed the line into your real life and real personal space.

    Oh well. But stalking is the wrong word here on this post.
    I meant to respond to this in my previous, but missed, so here it is... lol I use the term "stalking" because it's unlikely that someone who is willing to change jobs, and move to a different state to "be with" someone (after "knowing" them for 1/2 hour) is unlikely to be content with "life" at the club. If that was the case-he could simply visit every once in a while. He also had inquired about the type of car I drove (she didn't give the information to him). So while he may not fit the term stalker at the moment, I easily see it heading that way unfortunately. Although I truely hope you are right.

  16. #16
    Veteran Member Isis's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2004
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    335
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re:I swear I'm a stalker magnet

    Quote Originally Posted by Deogol link=board=1;threadid=7201;start=msg81999#msg81999 date=1078700539
    Don't mess with fruitcakes, and you can only reason with a sensible person in control of their faculties.

    This one sounds like he is ready to go off the deep end.

    Next type she encounters him, and he starts acting wacko - 86 his ass out the door with a slam and a "Don't come back."
    I agree- I wouldn't talk to this guy at all if he comes in to ur club again. Giving stalkers any type of attention is giving them what they wantand feeds their illness.
    If he comes in tell management AND a bouncer AND the DJ that he is a fruitcake and then stay completely away from the guy.





Similar Threads

  1. Why $$magnet is an Idiot:
    By $$$magnet in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 02-18-2008, 09:07 PM
  2. Am I a rape magnet???
    By cameron_keys in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 31
    Last Post: 12-17-2007, 10:46 AM
  3. Jerk Magnet
    By showmethemoney in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 38
    Last Post: 06-14-2006, 12:46 AM
  4. Jerk Magnet
    By showmethemoney in forum Customer Conversation
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 06-11-2006, 06:02 PM
  5. what song has I swear, I swear in it?
    By bigteninch in forum Music Mix
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 12-13-2004, 05:31 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •