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Thread: Welp.........talk about feeling low.

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    Default Welp.........talk about feeling low.

    After 6 months of playing a 'not knowing' game with a very good friend of mine, I finally asked her if we should take our relationship to the next level.

    And the response I got was, "I don't see us working there. I still consider you to be one of my best friends."

    Seems to be my common lot in life..........find someone I enjoy spending my time with and then get shot down shortly after.

    ..........(walks off not knowing what the hell to do..........)

    Craig
    I've heard that a good signiture sets you apart from everyone.
    Well......is this good enough???

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    Default Re:Welp.........talk about feeling low.

    "There is a guy for every gal, and a gal for every guy." While the numbers of people prove this to be correct in the aggregate, as we get older it is harder to meet those of the other sex that we trust, enjoy the company of, or can find. Compounding our confusion is the past baggage of unhappy unfilled relationships and hurtful experiences. Why take another risk after all?

    Living with somebody you trully get to know them. Marrying somebody and you get to know them and their family, and their family gets to know you. The other sides family is always around and with you forever, especially if you have kids.

    It's hard enough to find somebody. (See comments above.) Then add hustling and mis perceptions of the strip club, and mix liberally with naked woman, and drinks, phernomes run amok and exchanged and you've got gunpowder.

    The stories of how my parents met, were told and reold and were a big deal to them, and a story I will remember forever.

    But ATF and I met in a strip club that she was keeping secret and now no longer dances anywhere having accomplished her financial goal. Should ATF and I get together (which at the moment we both view as logically unlikely, and logistically unlikely), how would we tell the story to my kids, our kids and her family. (Most of my family is dead or in care facilities, but there are some aunts and uncles and close friends that I would have to explain.)

    We've actually talked about this about how we would explain each other... and at the moment we don't have a good cover story or an answer. We live in two different cities in two different professions from two different states (and areas) and both work in two different large cities that we aren't native to.

    So maybe your girl is saying like many dancers to customers that it is just a fantasy. Even if it isn't like my case, we have both agreed that maybe it should go back to being a fantasy.

    Time, ( and distance and circumstance) change all things.


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    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re:Welp.........talk about feeling low.

    If she was into you it would have been obvious sooner. Just move on....try your local gentelman's club...the ladies there will take GOOD care of you......

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M
    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

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    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re:Welp.........talk about feeling low.

    Two pieces of advice to you "nice" guys

    1. SEAL THE DEAL

    2. STICK IT IN!!!

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M
    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re:Welp.........talk about feeling low.

    Katrine. LOL! 'Stick it in' is a line I like to use to remind guys of what they're supposed to do with their dollars when they get lost and forget why they came to my stage, or why they have money in their hands after I've done a dance. They always laugh and 'stick it in'. LOL

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Featured Member polecat's Avatar
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    Default Re:Welp.........talk about feeling low.

    Holy Toledo! Six months of "not knowing" and you never even made the slightest move in the direction you wanted things to go? Hell, if I were her, I'd be scared of a relationship with you too.

    Katrine is at worst half-right, at best totally right. SEAL THE DEAL, like early on guy. Whatsammattayou! There is a difference between being a nice guy, and being an inept/incompetent guy... you go six months without anything and you've just been demoted to fix-it guy, help-me move guy, or buy me birthday gifts guy. Enjoy your masculinity a bit, brother.

    I have many platonic, female friends and every last one of them knows I want to jump their bones.. got that out of the way from the very start lol. It's also something that gets revisted regularly so the concept isn't flushed out at any time. Even if you aren't going to swoop in, it's a wonderful thing to gift to a woman (even if just a friend) to let her know she's sexy, desireable, and precious.
    It doesn't matter if you're somebody in this world, it rather matters you mean the whole world to somebody.

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    Senior Member celeste_63's Avatar
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    Default Re:Welp.........talk about feeling low.

    This is going to sound totally cliche, but I stand by the widespread belief that a female makes up her mind as to whether she wants you romantically/physically within the first five minutes of meeting you. I always know right off the bat and it rarely changes. I mean my opinion of their personality might change but if attraction isn't there it is HIGHLY unlikely to grow as our friendship develops.

    So boys...if you are "not knowing" for 6 months, don't expect much.
    "When I squinted the world seemed rose-tinted and angels appeared to descend; to my surprise with half-closed eyes things looked even better than when they were opened!"

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    Default Re:Welp.........talk about feeling low.

    Samart, if you "don't know" , that's a sure sign you shouldn't take it to the next level.

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    Featured Member SCGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re:Welp.........talk about feeling low.

    Aww, don't feel bad, I'm like that too, Samart! I tend to get very attached to people and have no idea how they feel about me. I guess it's just cuz I tend to crush on every guy that says hello to me (I know, I know, pathetic, but I don't get much attention so I cling to it when it comes my way). For instance, there's the guy I work with who is always inviting me out to group get togethers and such but it's only cuz he's nice and he does that with everyone.....I think. Plus....I think he's gay....but I'm not SURE....see, it's so sad, I always keep hoping....even though I'm 99.9% sure he's gay. But hey, just cuz ya didn't know for 6 months doesn't mean much....hell, I should tell ya about how I was "dating" a guy for 5 months and found out he only thought of me as a "close lady friend" (and those words came right out of his mouth). :o ??? So, anyway, I certainly understand how you feel babe. I'm right there with ya!
    "You did then what you knew how to do; when you knew better, you did better" ~Maya Angelou

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    Default Re:Welp.........talk about feeling low.

    Quote Originally Posted by SCGirl link=board=1;threadid=7217;start=msg82445#msg82445 date=1078802815
    Aww, don't feel bad, I'm like that too, Samart! I tend to get very attached to people and have no idea how they feel about me. I guess it's just cuz I tend to crush on every guy that says hello to me (I know, I know, pathetic, but I don't get much attention so I cling to it when it comes my way). For instance, there's the guy I work with who is always inviting me out to group get togethers and such but it's only cuz he's nice and he does that with everyone.....I think. Plus....I think he's gay....but I'm not SURE....see, it's so sad, I always keep hoping....even though I'm 99.9% sure he's gay. But hey, just cuz ya didn't know for 6 months doesn't mean much....hell, I should tell ya about how I was "dating" a guy for 5 months and found out he only thought of me as a "close lady friend" (and those words came right out of his mouth). :o ??? So, anyway, I certainly understand how you feel babe. I'm right there with ya!
    I am here with you too ! Its really hard to read people and their intentions sometimes. Next time let the person know how you feel from the start, that will save you a lot of time...
    My new love...is me !

    Even the greatest authority does not, ultimately, know you as you know yourself.
    Jhuka

    When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
    Maya Angelou


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    Default Re:Welp.........talk about feeling low.

    Im beginning to think that is what I should have done from the get go.

    She is a great person.......I love spending time with her. She had (has) been going through a tough time with real life, so we have spent a lot of time talking, watching movies, and going out. I really thought that there was something there........but alas I guess not.

    Just seems like when you think that you have things figured out......life throws a curve ball!
    I've heard that a good signiture sets you apart from everyone.
    Well......is this good enough???

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    God/dess Farrah_Holiday's Avatar
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    Default Re:Welp.........talk about feeling low.

    True..why don't you ask her to introduce you to one of her friends ??
    My new love...is me !

    Even the greatest authority does not, ultimately, know you as you know yourself.
    Jhuka

    When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
    Maya Angelou


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    Default Re:Welp.........talk about feeling low.

    Quote Originally Posted by samart link=board=1;threadid=7217;start=msg82057#msg82057 date=1078716999
    After 6 months of playing a 'not knowing' game with a very good friend of mine, I finally asked her if we should take our relationship to the next level.

    And the response I got was, "I don't see us working there. I still consider you to be one of my best friends."

    Seems to be my common lot in life..........find someone I enjoy spending my time with and then get shot down shortly after.

    ..........(walks off not knowing what the hell to do..........)

    Craig
    So many women are so stupid sometimes! Being loves with your best friend is the best way to go!

    Alas, they only find out after all the bad boys and creeps, and by then the nice guys aren't so nice anymore.

    Lots of people - lots of possiblities - but most seem to want it to "just happen" like "love at first sight" and other nonsense. It takes work to be in a relationship - hopefully the end result is worth it. If not, move on to the next "project" till ya find something right.

    My 82 year old grand mother has been off dating the men after being widowed. I have a suspicion it could be a life long process this looking for the special person...

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    Default Re:Welp.........talk about feeling low.

    No offense, but no other person should have the ability to make you feel low. You need to have your own sense of self-worth.

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    Default Re:Welp.........talk about feeling low.

    Samart - Just be happy for the nice times that you spent together. What you want obviously wasn't meant to be, but that doesn't mean that you can't or haven't created some nice memories together. Good friends are hard to find; be happy that you made one!

    Make your intentions known a little quicker next time. 6 months??? It is a good idea not to make a move for a while to let a girl know you have good intentions, but if someone I liked waited that long to make a move, I would assume they just weren't attacted to me in a sexual sense. I would be bouncing off the walls...

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    Default Re:Welp.........talk about feeling low.

    I'm with celeste. Women know within the first 5 minutes whether they'd be interested romantically or not. I once dated a guy I was originally friends with, but I was attracted to him the first time I met him. I loved him as a friend (still do), but I remember many frustrated times hanging out with him as friends before he finally made a move. After breaking up, we're still friends several years later. Heh, the relationship wasn't meant to be, but the friendship was.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Default Re:Welp.........talk about feeling low.

    We actually kissed around the 3rd 'outing' we went on......but I am not sure if that was alcohol induced or not.

    Oh well........time to move on. We still talk a lot, just that now.....I know.

    (And yes.......next time I make a quicker move.......that's for sure. heheheh)

    Craig
    I've heard that a good signiture sets you apart from everyone.
    Well......is this good enough???

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